Parenting Through The Quarantine ~ How's It Going?

[Wild_Honey_66]

The good, the bad, and the ugly. Lay it all out here.

 

[AveryElle]

It fluctuates between lord of the flies and a John and yoko sit in.

There are like 15 different zooms to dial into. All classes require some supervision to keep my kid focused on them. He has zero interest. Because he needs supervision, I wake up at 4:30am to do my own work out and my own actual work, then handle his school day plus any meetings I have, then make dinner. After his bed time, I then go back to doing work.

I have zero privacy, which is costing me my sanity.
I have zero privacy, which is costing me a secondary relationship.
When I say zero privacy, I mean we are all ALWAYS together unless I’m in the car.
I have zero time to nourish most of my friendships.
The things I’m good at and love are things I can no longer do.
SAH moms all over social media be like ‘omg I love having the time with my children’
I feel terrible for my child. He is lonely, he is bored, and I worry for his long term social development.

I don’t REALLY think my friends or partners without kids realize just how bad the situation is for people who work and have kids. It’s very hard to connect with anyone I have a relationship with - platonic or otherwise - when they have no idea what this is like.

Economic anxiety is real, too. People are being furloughed at my university, we have pay freezes. My spouse is a gov employee and I’m guessing they’ll soon be furloughed. So yeah I can easily relate to those with economic anxieties. It’s the emotional labor that (mostly working moms) are going through right now, and it sucks to know they can’t understand it.

So all in all, great!

 

[Kat73]

My boys are in HS and I am leaving it up to them to be responsible. So far, they are doing pretty good.

 

[AveryElle]

A note to add that I have friends that are working from home, now having to home school, and have parents in care facilities with outbreaks. In the grand scheme of things, my stress and exhaustion are nothing compared to theirs. They are truly squeezed in every way possible and I cant even imagine their emotional states (though I do reach out).

Eta: https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/20/health/generation-x-coronavirus-calhoun-kalita-wellness/index.html

 

[Willingtoshare]

I'm lucky that mine are older (one bonus for being an old git) so I can't really relate to the home schooling side of things but can imagine how difficult it is with youngsters to care for and encourage at this time. I do know though whatever their ages, it's still difficult...for them and myself.

They still get bored, miss their friends and being able to be free to do what they enjoy, which is something they have come to take for grated...like us all.

I try to do different things with them but sometimes find it difficult to actually find the enthusiasm when no end is in sight. I need to give myself a kick up the arse and get out of that mindset.

 

[AveryElle]

I could have written most of Avery's post. I'm exhausted and overwhelmed and cry more days than not. There's nothing easy about working from home and homeschooling. I feel like I have nothing left to give anyone at the end of the day. The day which feels like it never ends. I have nothing to talk about because each day is the same as the last. I'm depressed, and so are my kids. They miss their friends and hate being stuck at home during this. Even being a stay at home mom for 4 years did not prepare me for this.

One friend said this reminds her of when she had post partum depression. That completely got me. The helplessness combined with expectations. That people don’t things a real struggle because you made a choice to become a parent. Do you feel that way?

 

[AveryElle]

I guess Indie and I are the only ones!

 

[Guyblue82]

I guess Indie and I are the only ones!

You’re certainly not alone.

My wife and I both are lucky that we can do our jobs from home, but we’ve got a kid in diapers and kids in elementary school.

It’s been very stressful but also, we’re all so much closer. Every night we play outside together, play games, laugh, etc..... where in a normal world, we are just going from jobs, to school activities, to sports, and then to bed.

Hang in there... it will end!

 

[ydahecnot]

The daughter is in Cali visiting her guy, so it’s easy for me: “Love you! Stay safe!”

 

[AveryElle]

You’re certainly not alone.

My wife and I both are lucky that we can do our jobs from home, but we’ve got a kid in diapers and kids in elementary school.

It’s been very stressful but also, we’re all so much closer. Every night we play outside together, play games, laugh, etc..... where in a normal world, we are just going from jobs, to school activities, to sports, and then to bed.

Hang in there... it will end!

In case you hadn’t read it:
Two Parents. Two Kids. Two Jobs. No Child Care.
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/22/opinion/coronavirus-parenting-burnout.html

 

[Guyblue82]

In case you hadn’t read it:
Two Parents. Two Kids. Two Jobs. No Child Care.
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/22/opinion/coronavirus-parenting-burnout.html

I hadn't seen this.... But I'm attributing that to the NY times usually having a big fat paywall in place.

I'm going to read this when I take my 20 minute bathroom escape....

 

[AveryElle]

I hadn't seen this.... But I'm attributing that to the NY times usually having a big fat paywall in place.

I'm going to read this when I take my 20 minute bathroom escape....

I subscribe. The work they are doing these days is more than worth the price.

Oh, and my work pays for it

 

[JustAnotherFlower]

I'm a stay at home Mom to two kiddos under the age of four. The first two weeks were hell. My husband was working his usual swingshift rotation, the weather was shitty, we couldn't escape the house to be loud or burn off nervous energy. After my husband was laid off, it was great for the first day or two, but then the learning curve kicked in. You see, when Daddy is off and home, the kids see him as their playmate. It was difficult for everyone but we survived. The kids have been great until the last few days when my son has started to act out. Is it normal almost 4year old behavior or is it due to stress? I don't know.. so we're taking it a day at a time.

And.. how am I? It changes by the hour. I am in serious need of an hour or three to myself, but I'll survive.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

Today was brutal. My youngest is on the autism spectrum and today was his last day with 2 of his therapists who've been working with him for the last year. He transitions into a pre-school program next week, but we still don't know what that's going to look like with the distance learning. It also hurts to not be able to say a proper goodbye to the awesome people who've helped so much in his progress the last year. Doing his last month over video just wasn't the same.

 

[lacandy]

I was a SAHM for 15 years and this is waaayyy harder.

Where my kids end up mentally on the other side of all this is really the only thing I worry about. They are both good students so work is getting done (though I think I ask the boy about 100 times a day if he’s done his work).

My boy is super social and not having those daily interactions is really hard for him. (And not being able to charm his new full time teacher is tough ). He goes on drives from time to time to just act like things are normal.

My daughter thinks this is the greatest thing in the world! Not having to deal with people? She’s in heaven. I hate that! She was getting out of her shell more just when this happened and now I worry she’s going to retreat back into herself.

There are good days (tonight we did a paint night and tomorrow is movie night) and then there are times that once the house is quiet I cry for a bit. I’ve had a few not so good parenting moments where I said something along the lines of “This is hard for me too!”

But we keep trying to make things less stressful for them and hope that things resemble normal sometime soon.