Panty Pleasures [her sisters]

[mandm_bc]

We are an adventurous-minded couple in our 20's and 30's and we just wondered if people would mind reading and perhaps providing feedback on our first story, Panty Pleasures. We have written three stories, well she has written two and he one, but we are most proud of this one. All three of our stories are 100% true because we feel fact is more exciting than fiction - for us anyway. Here is the link. We sincerely hope you enjoy it!

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=206418

mandm_bc
Mike & Maggi

 

[Colleen Thomas]

We are an adventurous-minded couple in our 20's and 30's and we just wondered if people would mind reading and perhaps providing feedback on our first story, Panty Pleasures. We have written three stories, well she has written two and he one, but we are most proud of this one. All three of our stories are 100% true because we feel fact is more exciting than fiction - for us anyway. Here is the link. We sincerely hope you enjoy it!

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=206418

mandm_bc
Mike & Maggi

As with any story where the bent is fetishistic you are going to loose some readers. From the Pc's I would say you got through well to your target audience with the work, which is always the gaol

The flow was actually very good for a first endeavor. that's usually the hard part with a story, getting it to move along at the pace you want.

With the up front admission the erotic element was lost on me, I saw very little to complain about. Granted the work is short and reads more like a vingette than anything else, but within that format, I thought it was a pretty strong first effort.

Good luck in future endeavors

 

[mandm_bc]

Thanks for the feedback Colleen! We're definitely proud of that particular story. Thank you for your comments on the flow of the story as well, oddly enough, that one almost wrote itself, it was so easy!

I've been thinking that plot and flow are the most difficult elements in writing these stories. For any story to be successful, it's gotta have some kind of tension, and erotic writing is no different.

Thanks again for taking the time to comment! =)

Mike and Maggi