Pain and Anger

[P. B. Walker]

I thought I would post on a topic that hit close to home yesterday... I was on a daytime road trip for work when some... (excuse the french) little pussy boy prick fuck-stick cut right front of me and a dumptruck, barely missed my bumper by 6 inches. And when I laid on my horn to let him know what I thought about his driving style he had the fucking gall to give me the finger thru his sun roof. Ohhhh I was pissed... I sped up and was intent on running him off the road (my vehicle easily outweighing his by a ton), but the little son-of-a-bitch scooched off an exit... bastard!

So anyway, I was so mad I was shaking... and I thought to myself... "ohhh I could just beat him mercilessly". That was a weird thought. Some people have no problem inflicting pain. Some people just can't. Some can only inflict pain by pumping themselves up to do it (i.e., getting their game face on). After this little incident I was so angry, I could have flogged someone raw. Of course, I know that is totally the wrong time to adminster a punishment or discipline. I don't condone that at all (SO PLEASE DO NOT confuse what I'm saying and think I am condoning that).

However, for the rest of the ride I thought about this. And I have to wonder what other people have to do in order to get into the mindset to inflict pain. I sometimes have to get myself in to that anger mode... I'm not angry at any one person, but I'm in that mood where I've kinda of turned off my internal safety features that keep me from inflicting pain. Otherwise I would be too guilty to hurt anyone. I know this is mainly a question for Doms, and Dommes, and Switches, but subbies should feel free to answer if they have something to share

So... what does it take for you to get into your pain inflicting mindset?

PBW "Getting my 'mean-on' "

 

[Daddyslilpet]

Great thread, PBW. I am not a Domme or switch, but would love to hear what others have to say on this.


dixi

 

[WriterDom]

What is pain to some is pleasure to others. I'm only interested in the ones that find what I do pleasurable. If it's punishment, there is no problem getting the mindset for that.

 

[Quint]

This is something that T and I talk about quite frequently. I do tend to get excited when the daily shit of his life get him into a fury, because I can see all kinds of sadistic potential in that. However! Both of us know that this is not the right time for BDSM because it would be dangerous. Not enough of the "Sane." So it's just the allure of "oh god he could genuinely hurt me right now," which doesn't translate very well in real life when I remember just how much pain hurts. (HA!)

So when he gets seriously pissed, he vents verbally. He's excellent on anger control. And then when the anger is gone but all that restless energy remains...**** ensues.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I do not have a pain inflicting mindset

If I did, I would call it something else...FIGHTING. lol


Now the mindset I do have is a dominating one. It first starts when sissy or bitchboy comes into my door and undress and kneel in their spot on my floor. It changes Eb the woman into Eb the Mistress.

Within that context I do what is necessary at that given time.

Ebony

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: I do not have a pain inflicting mindset

If I did, I would call it something else...FIGHTING. lol


Now the mindset I do have is a dominating one. It first starts when sissy or bitchboy comes into my door and undress and kneel in their spot on my floor. It changes Eb the woman into Eb the Mistress.

Within that context I do what is necessary at that given time.

When I am angry, the people who know me know to stay out of my way.

Ebony

 

[~Dream~]

I thought I would post on a topic that hit close to home yesterday... I was on a daytime road trip for work when some... (excuse the french) little pussy boy prick fuck-stick cut right front of me and a dumptruck, barely missed my bumper by 6 inches. And when I laid on my horn to let him know what I thought about his driving style he had the fucking gall to give me the finger thru his sun roof. Ohhhh I was pissed... I sped up and was intent on running him off the road (my vehicle easily outweighing his by a ton), but the little son-of-a-bitch scooched off an exit... bastard!

So anyway, I was so mad I was shaking... and I thought to myself... "ohhh I could just beat him mercilessly". That was a weird thought. Some people have no problem inflicting pain. Some people just can't. Some can only inflict pain by pumping themselves up to do it (i.e., getting their game face on). After this little incident I was so angry, I could have flogged someone raw. Of course, I know that is totally the wrong time to adminster a punishment or discipline. I don't condone that at all (SO PLEASE DO NOT confuse what I'm saying and think I am condoning that).

However, for the rest of the ride I thought about this. And I have to wonder what other people have to do in order to get into the mindset to inflict pain. I sometimes have to get myself in to that anger mode... I'm not angry at any one person, but I'm in that mood where I've kinda of turned off my internal safety features that keep me from inflicting pain. Otherwise I would be too guilty to hurt anyone. I know this is mainly a question for Doms, and Dommes, and Switches, but subbies should feel free to answer if they have something to share

So... what does it take for you to get into your pain inflicting mindset?

PBW "Getting my 'mean-on' "

_____________________________________

I think that the 3 emotions of Anger,jealousy,and Hate all lead people to inflict pain onto others..'I want you to hurt as much as you hurt me ,etc.. however when my Master inflicts pain(through spankings etc) it's because He knows that I find it "pleasurable"

when I go to inflict pain upon my child,I am not spose to be "Angry" however because they have "chosen"to disrespect me or disobey me,I have to resort to some sort of "pain' to "get to them',taking away priveleges,a swat on the butt if a young child,depriving them of time w/ me or friends etc ..all can be very painful ..I try to avoid these emotions and consequent Reactions at all cost..

 

[cymbidia]

I have to wonder what other people have to do in order to get into the mindset to inflict pain. I sometimes have to get myself in to that anger mode... I'm not angry at any one person, but I'm in that mood where I've kinda of turned off my internal safety features that keep me from inflicting pain. Otherwise I would be too guilty to hurt anyone. I know this is mainly a question for Doms, and Dommes, and Switches, but subbies should feel free to answer if they have something to share

It seems to me, PWB, in thinking back over things, that the vast majority of the dominants to which i've subbed have nnever allowed anything approaching anger to permeate our intimate time together. Perhaps they did and i didn't see or know it, but i think it more likely that they were wired, possibly, to feel the flogger striking my ass, over and over and over, as pleasureable - especially since i gave positive feedback with regard to my noises and movements when they were focused on that flogging.

I know that as a group they all enjoyed--required, even--their physical dominance over me, or someone like me. People like that, men and women who are sexually/emotionally/physically dominant, breathe that play. The inhale and exhale the scent and sound and sight of the toys, of skin turning colors under their hand, of the sounds of pleasure and pain as they're combined. I'm not sure they could do what they do for us if it were fueled by anger.

Anger denotes a loss of control, to me. In my mind, BDSM play with a focused, centered, skilled dominant is usually as far from "loss of control" as any sexual setting could be.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Pain and Anger

Anger denotes a loss of control, to me.

I agree. In fact, no sub I have ever had has ever done anything to cause me to be angry. They know me just as much as I know them.

And, if by any chance I have come home out of sorts or angry. Just seeing them seems to gladen my heart.

Ebony

 

[P. B. Walker]

Anger might be the wrong word for what I was thinking. I was more just looking for how a Dom/me/Switch gets into the correct mindset to inflict pain. Do they ever find themselves gritting their teeth or clenching their fists? Stuff like that. It may not be anger, but it is an aggressive feeling. I'm not exactly sure how to describe it...

Anyhoo... maybe someone will pop in and read my mind... LOL

PBW

 

[Ebonyfire]

Anger might be the wrong word for what I was thinking. I was more just looking for how a Dom/me/Switch gets into the correct mindset to inflict pain. Do they ever find themselves gritting their teeth or clenching their fists? Stuff like that. It may not be anger, but it is an aggressive feeling. I'm not exactly sure how to describe it...

Anyhoo... maybe someone will pop in and read my mind... LOL

PBW

Never. It is a very different thing (on my part) to deliver what my subby needs that that given moment.

Eb

 

[WriterDom]

Anger might be the wrong word for what I was thinking. I was more just looking for how a Dom/me/Switch gets into the correct mindset to inflict pain. Do they ever find themselves gritting their teeth or clenching their fists

No, there is no gritting of teeth, or Tiger Wood's fist pumping. It's a very calm comfortable place inside with an excitement that's hard to put into words. It's an art. A very focused mindset. Kind of like eating pussy. There is some teasing and foreplay, but after a while it's just tongue and clit. A feeling of being wired into her responses and guiding her to the little death.

 

[WillowPuss]

Robuck read this thread with me.

He says that he is never angry when we play, and especially when we play hard.

For him - He gets harder the more I respond ... He now knows me so well that he is able to guage the moment that I am about to safe word - then then may give me another couple of whacks - just to push a little and then change tactics.
(I suppose that is why I have only ever had to safeword as I was physically uncomfortable - never the pain safeword.)

Without getting the responses from my body, my whimpers, my eyes (when I am not blindfolded) He does not, and tells me He would not, continue.



Sorry PBW - don't suppose that answer helped.

 

[Hecate]

Inflicting pain? or distributing sensation?

I like to think I understand what you mean ... I remember my first babystepps into "pain-land". I never thought I could do "it"... really seriously hurt anyone... let alone someone I care for.

So I tried the "recall the last time you felt like hurting someone" routine ... tried to project my aggression, but failed misserably. It took way too much effort to recall that "bad vibes" feeling in a powerfully good vibes charged environment, so that I did not have enough "RAM" to process the signals of my sub, my own pleasure and some creativity and caring fantasy simultaneoulsy to the anger-recall.

What now works for me (though it comes most natural in the meantime) is a "warming up" routine. Just like the sub needs to be warmed up to the pain (you don't just go and start straight with the heavy stuff, at least I don't) I need to get into the flow. And to see how the sub reacts, strives, craves more and more sensation I feel I can give it. I never think of it as pain as in the "ouch, that is not good" way, but I release the energy that I can feel is "absorbed" so to speak by my sub. So my "visciousness" is not so much a product of my own aggression (for lack of a better word) but more what is drawn from me by the desires and craving of my submissive counterpart. Just to get it straight - I am not talking "topping from the bottom" , it is more some kind of energy flow that seems to urge on (or out) the "heaviness" of my ministrations.

To see my pet getting all hot and flushed and bothered is all I need to give my best shot *winks* - and as WD said, for me too I get to a place of "calm", just giving into that magic feeling of controlled power.

Not sure if that is making any sense at all .... but that is best I can decribe it.

 

[P. B. Walker]

Re: Inflicting pain? or distributing sensation?

I like to think I understand what you mean ... I remember my first babystepps into "pain-land". I never thought I could do "it"... really seriously hurt anyone... let alone someone I care for.

So I tried the "recall the last time you felt like hurting someone" routine ... tried to project my aggression, but failed misserably. It took way too much effort to recall that "bad vibes" feeling in a powerfully good vibes charged environment, so that I did not have enough "RAM" to process the signals of my sub, my own pleasure and some creativity and caring fantasy simultaneoulsy to the anger-recall.

What now works for me (though it comes most natural in the meantime) is a "warming up" routine. Just like the sub needs to be warmed up to the pain (you don't just go and start straight with the heavy stuff, at least I don't) I need to get into the flow. And to see how the sub reacts, strives, craves more and more sensation I feel I can give it. I never think of it as pain as in the "ouch, that is not good" way, but I release the energy that I can feel is "absorbed" so to speak by my sub. So my "visciousness" is not so much a product of my own aggression (for lack of a better word) but more what is drawn from me by the desires and craving of my submissive counterpart. Just to get it straight - I am not talking "topping from the bottom" , it is more some kind of energy flow that seems to urge on (or out) the "heaviness" of my ministrations.

To see my pet getting all hot and flushed and bothered is all I need to give my best shot *winks* - and as WD said, for me too I get to a place of "calm", just giving into that magic feeling of controlled power.

Not sure if that is making any sense at all .... but that is best I can decribe it.

Actuallly that made a hell of alot of sense Hecate. You almost pretty much sorta kinda did read my mind. The warm up routine sounds like the way to go. And I can totally relate to it since I'm heavy into sports (biking, etc) and I would never unleash the fury contained in these legs (LOL... laying it on thick now) without a proper warm up.

Thanks for that lengthy reply... it definitely explained alot.

PBW

 

[cymbidia]

The link below is to an essay called Dominant Space, and we've discussed its ideas round here a few times over the last year or so. As a matter of fact, one of the most distinguished members of this forum (if s/he wants to out him/herself, so be it; i won't) wrote a story based loosely on one of the ideas offered here.

It's worth reading and is particularly germane to this discussion, as well.


Dominant Space
http://members.aol.com/MasterNik/DomSpace.html

 

[Hecate]

Were you looking for this cym?

Pushed Too Far

 

[cymbidia]

Re: Were you looking for this cym?

Pushed Too Far

Indeed i was, Lady, as well you know.

The story Hecate wrote, oh, two springs ago (gods! the time flies!) was engendered, in part, by this essay. It was painful for her to write and is not, i think, among her favorites. Still, it's true and real in the emotional content and is an example of what one of the most deeply thoughtful and caring dominants i know sees as the most horrifying possiblity if anger is allowed into the playspace between her and her submissive.

Hecate would not go here.
Shadowsource would not go here.
WD would not go here.
James would not, Risia would not, MzChrista would not, Ebony would not - none of the dominants we know so well here, switch or not, would carry anger into a scene with them.

To do so is wrong.



Go read Hecate's story.
It's a good one.

 

[Dr. B Evil]

That was you?

That was you in the dump truck? MiniMe said it was a Hollywood censor. Sorry about that.

 

[SpectreT]

Anger is not the word; PBW said that pretty early on, and I've been cudgeling my brain for the right word(s) to convey what I suspect he was talking about. (If I'm fulla shit, fellow goateed one, let me know)

Agression is probably the best single word to describe the mental quality which is channeled and focused to "Mentally and Emotionally prepare to Distribute Sensation".

Key phrases are Channeling and Focusing. Self-control is essential to do this, and emotional states like anger make it impossible to channel and focus.

As far as D/S goes (and I'm finally revealing a little something about how D/S colors my daily existence here), I tend to mold myself to people I'm with; I'm not terribly aggressive in my day to day life, but when people need instruction, inspiration or discipline, I'm right there to feed them what they need to succeed, even if what they need is my size 10 1/2 EEEE boot right in their ass to get 'em movin'.

Hecate said it more poetically than I, but the feeling's the same. It's about what others need, and I can find within myself to deliver.

 

[P. B. Walker]

Anger is not the word; PBW said that pretty early on, and I've been cudgeling my brain for the right word(s) to convey what I suspect he was talking about. (If I'm fulla shit, fellow goateed one, let me know)

Agression is probably the best single word to describe the mental quality which is channeled and focused to "Mentally and Emotionally prepare to Distribute Sensation".

Key phrases are Channeling and Focusing. Self-control is essential to do this, and emotional states like anger make it impossible to channel and focus.

As far as D/S goes (and I'm finally revealing a little something about how D/S colors my daily existence here), I tend to mold myself to people I'm with; I'm not terribly aggressive in my day to day life, but when people need instruction, inspiration or discipline, I'm right there to feed them what they need to succeed, even if what they need is my size 10 1/2 EEEE boot right in their ass to get 'em movin'.

Hecate said it more poetically than I, but the feeling's the same. It's about what others need, and I can find within myself to deliver.

Thanks for the links Cym and Hecate... I will definitely take the time to read them.

SpectreT... I like what you said about channeling and focusing. That definitely makes sense to me.

PBW

 

[catalina_francisco]

Maybe of interest?

 

[ownedsubgal]

I thought I would post on a topic that hit close to home yesterday... I was on a daytime road trip for work when some... (excuse the french) little pussy boy prick fuck-stick cut right front of me and a dumptruck, barely missed my bumper by 6 inches. And when I laid on my horn to let him know what I thought about his driving style he had the fucking gall to give me the finger thru his sun roof. Ohhhh I was pissed... I sped up and was intent on running him off the road (my vehicle easily outweighing his by a ton), but the little son-of-a-bitch scooched off an exit... bastard!

So anyway, I was so mad I was shaking... and I thought to myself... "ohhh I could just beat him mercilessly". That was a weird thought. Some people have no problem inflicting pain. Some people just can't. Some can only inflict pain by pumping themselves up to do it (i.e., getting their game face on). After this little incident I was so angry, I could have flogged someone raw. Of course, I know that is totally the wrong time to adminster a punishment or discipline. I don't condone that at all (SO PLEASE DO NOT confuse what I'm saying and think I am condoning that).

However, for the rest of the ride I thought about this. And I have to wonder what other people have to do in order to get into the mindset to inflict pain. I sometimes have to get myself in to that anger mode... I'm not angry at any one person, but I'm in that mood where I've kinda of turned off my internal safety features that keep me from inflicting pain. Otherwise I would be too guilty to hurt anyone. I know this is mainly a question for Doms, and Dommes, and Switches, but subbies should feel free to answer if they have something to share

So... what does it take for you to get into your pain inflicting mindset?

PBW "Getting my 'mean-on' "

P.B. Walker...the situation you described above sounds soooo like my Master. in the past (before osg was there to save the day, lol) he would think nothing of chasing that person down for miles, or until the next stoplight, at which point if he were pissed enough he'd get out of his vehicle and pummel the person thru their open sunroof. now he doesn't generally go to such extremes, because i'm usually there to calm him somewhat, but that sort of thing continues to anger him a great deal...other people behaving ignorantly or stupidly. or if he just has one of those days at work where the stress is just coming down and down upon him...that will make him very angry. when he gets into that mode, he does one of two things, to soothe himself and give himself a release...go to the gym and lift weights, or come to me and beat the pulp out of me. as a slave, it feels wonderful for me to know that i can be sort of a medicine for him. i know his anger or frustration or whatever is not directed at me, just that it's within him and needs to be released. i'd rather he use me than some weights any day.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Re: Pain and Anger

i know his anger or frustration or whatever is not directed at me, just that it's within him and needs to be released. i'd rather he use me than some weights any day.

the masochists mantra?!! LOL. I can relate.

Catalina

 

[ownedsubgal]

Re: Re: Re: Pain and Anger

the masochists mantra?!! LOL. I can relate.

Catalina

yes, and unlike the gym, we are free!