Orgasming help

[devilchild_ange]

I'm new to this site and I've looked all around and can't really find an answer to my question. I've tried other sites and asking and I never get a response. Am I having an orgasm or not? It doesn't matter what I try, whether it be masturbation, sex, fingering, toys, whatever, I always can get to the point where my whole body is spasming but I get no release. No fluid. After awhile my body starts to ache from it spasming so much that I have to tell my boyfriend to stop. It feels amazing, but I can only take so much. I'm tired of making it to the top of the roller coaster and not being able to make it to the bottom. And along the same lines, what's the difference between climaxing, having an orgasm and coming? Or are they all the same thing? And on the opposite side of things, if a guy comes, does it automatically mean he had an orgasm? If no, what's the difference and how can you tell, because my boyfriend isn't one for making sounds?

Thanks to all that can help.

 

[SweetErika]

First off, welcome.

It doesn't matter what I try, whether it be masturbation, sex, fingering, toys, whatever, I always can get to the point where my whole body is spasming but I get no release. No fluid.

An orgasm doesn't necessarily mean a release of fluid. Sometimes there's fluid with an orgasm; usually it's simple lubrication, but sometimes women can release g-spot fluid, which can be like peeing, but it's not urine at all - it's clear or slightly cloudy, odorless and usually a bit sweet. If you've heard of squirting/gushing, g-spot orgasms and fluid is what that means, but we can have g-gasms without releasing fluid, too - it all depends on the woman and orgasm.

Your vagina and uterus contract rhythmically during orgasm, and usually the other muscles in the body spasm. For most, it feels like a great physical release and a natural high. If you don't feel the contractions or release, try backing off some when you're at the top, then going at it again - a lot of times that pushes me over the edge because my body needs some time (even a break for a minute or three can do wonders) to reset/resensitize itself. There are a lot of other things you can try, too, so don't worry if you're not there yet.

And along the same lines, what's the difference between climaxing, having an orgasm and coming? Or are they all the same thing?

They're all the same thing.

And on the opposite side of things, if a guy comes, does it automatically mean he had an orgasm? If no, what's the difference and how can you tell, because my boyfriend isn't one for making sounds?

Men do two things: ejaculate (release semen) and orgasm (rhythmic contractions and a feeling of release). They usually do both at the same time, but it's possible to orgasm without ejaculating and vice versa. Once they ejaculate, it's usually over for them for at least a few minutes, until they can and want to get hard/ go again (but, not all men can go multiple rounds in the same day, and the time between--the refractory period--varies with age and individual.

Because they usually ejaculate and orgasm at the same time, "come/climax/orgasm" is generally used to describe both acts.

From what I've heard, it's pretty unsatisfying for men to ejaculate without orgasming; maybe it's kind of like your ice cream cone dropping to the ground just as your tongue starts that first lick - really disappointing. When my husband ejaculates without orgasming (always when he tries to stop himself too late, or just can't), his semen kind of just blurps out, instead of shooting with force, but I obviously don't know about your guy's ejaculation patterns.

Does that answer your questions?

 

[emptynester]

You might try reading the thread posted by Mr.GGG "Try this and report back to me". It is a long thread but I suggest starting with the initial thread. He posted it originally (as MrG) back in 2002 but has since updated it (Mr.GGG). If you read it you will understrand.

Anyway, it is a great technique and has helped many.

 

[emptynester]

THE TECHNIQUE

Quick Backgrounder

The G&A Spot(s) are a bunch of nerve clusters which trigger endorphines (natural painkillers) during child birth. These nerve concentrations are below the surface and protected. The clit is not protected and the nerves are right on the surface. Any guy who tries to handle a clit roughly usually gets a heel up the side of his head. The GSpot is different. Once it has been triggered you can NOT treat it like a clit. Beat it up! Guys have been taught to be gentle with "that " area. Yes for the clit. NO for the G&A's.

Basic Technique ideas:

#1: Make sure she goes for a tinkle (urinates) just prior to this. The best way to “experiment ” is for the woman to relax over a bunch of pillows, face down, bum up in the air and legs comfortably wide apart. In that position with her guy either at the side, straddling one leg or sort of in the middle, the best way is with his thumb - inserted and pointing down towards the bed. If you press the thumb into the vagina until the heel of the thumb is pressing into her lips the GSpot will be right under the fat part at the end of your thumb. It’s no harder to find than that. It is a small bump roughly the same size as that fat part at the end of your thumb too so it feels a little like there’s another thumb pressing back. (ALL women have this - all women may not react the same way) Start to rub it. You can rub like you’re trying to get a spot out - back and forth or sideways or in a circular motion - it doesn’t matter. DO NOT do it too hard at first but once it puffs up and gets a little hard, that's when you can get rough with it. She'll feel like she has to go for a pee about then. Ignore her. Hold her down. Tell her to go ahead. Ladies you aren't going to pee. It just comes from some kind of build-up and "about to release" feeling. Just hang on and tell him harder or faster to increase that feeling. The first time or two it takes a few minutes. Once you've done it a few times you can usually get the first orgasm in under two minutes - no matter what and then repeats every 30 seconds to a minute for as long as she can stand it. An average night means between 8 and 15 giant "O's". A marathon brings between 35 and 50 !!! Trouble walking the next day but Man) Man is it worth the shakes the next day.

#2 is: when you've triggered an orgasm, wait about 30 seconds, maybe a minute (no more)and then start again. Just as hard. Right away. It'll happen over and over as many times as you repeat it. DO NOT BE GENTLE !! Depending on what kind of shape she’s in, a slightly longer wait between orgasms is wise(ie. let her start to breathe again). My friends described those orgasms as like being hit by a train. It seems to involve the entire body. If they’ve never had a GSpot orgasm they are going to be amazed. When you do it to them again and again they will be astounded.

 

[emptynester]

Technique of Mr.GGG

Devilchild,

As you can probably tell, I am new to posting on LIT also. The following post was the technique I was telling you about from Mr.GGG's thread. I didn't have time to copy it before but figured it out this morning.

Hope it works for you. It really is amazing.

 

[devilchild_ange]

Thanks to all that replied.
emptynester - thanks for the how to for g-spot orgasms. I'll have to give that a try.
sweeterika - thanks for all the info. It cleared up some things.

 

[girlygirl_76]

I was married for 9 years and thought I was having awesome vaginal orgasms. They've always been much more satisfying to me than clitoral ones. I've always tried to do my share... knowing just how to arch my back and when and where to squeeze to get myself off. I started using a dildo more and realized just what I'm capable of.

Prior to having male involvement I was strictly clitoral. I work up to an orgasm... spasm and its over, but too soon and not satisfying. After male involvement things changed..it was finally satisfying... I knew just where to aim him. I wasn't long before I started "leaking" at first I thought I was peeing... it's not supposed to be possible... and held back. Then I got brave and didn't hold back and did some research on what was happening. Apparently theres some spongy stuff on the upper part of your vagina that fills up with fluid, some possibly from your bladder cuz it has glands and such. I have to admit..sometimes mine does smell like pee. I was given a set of Jean Auel's Clan of the Cave Bear Books in 7th grade. They taught me alot... one of things being that if you push "up", you'll release fluid. I experimented a little and when I cum (as in release fluid) I come obscene amounts. I consider an orgasm a totally different thing. Vagianlly I can go and go and go before I spasm and have to stop. It's amazing, exhausting and definately can't get any better.

 

[Harleigh_Wood]

this was very informative. thank you.