orgasm

[Cazper]

I think many hit it right on the spot. The more you concentrate on the actual release the more difficult it will be to achieve. You have to relax and get your mind off of the actual release. I also suggest watching a porno... picture yourself in the situation on the screen as you play with yourself... hopefully before you know it you will be orgasming beyond control Good luck!!!

 

[College_geek]

Re: Re: When I was 21...

Let me guess, they were textbooks in states Bush carried in 2000.

Right here is where I would normally laugh and agree in jest, but now that I think about it, I don't remember talking about the clitoris or the female orgasm exclusively in my high school freshman health class. We didn't have textbooks for it, but I don't remember talking about it. Actually, we only talked about orgasm briefly when discussing ejaculation and putting on a condom properly. A lot of the stuff we did in the "sensitive issues" part of it had to do with sexual identity, sexual orientation, sexual abuse, STDs and HIV, stuff like that. I don't remember a lot of the orgasm stuff. Maybe it was because I was still really nervous and embarrassed about stuff like that at that time. Intrigued and curious, but embarrassed.

 

[freddyandeddy]

Unfortunately, here in the US, we still harbor plenty of baggage from Puritan times, which heaps on the guilt and connects sex with god and procreation and blah blah blah...

Herecomestherain has it right on target. My wife and I have indeed made sex and the pursuit of better intimacy a pastime akin to taking up a sport, etc. We "practice" by viewing porn, reading erotic literature, cruising tasteful adult sites, , and talking about how to improve and learn in areas yet explored (BDSM, toys, etc.).running our own website . We like to think of orgasm as something that happens when the conditions are right, the two people are in-sync, and the trust within one's self to go beyond the Big O Barrier is deep.

A great book my wife has read is For Herself , by Lonnie Barbach, which helps women achieve orgasm through trust in themselves and some practical exercises and masturbation techniques.

 

[Zergplex]

Re: Re: Re: When I was 21...

Right here is where I would normally laugh and agree in jest, but now that I think about it, I don't remember talking about the clitoris or the female orgasm exclusively in my high school freshman health class. We didn't have textbooks for it, but I don't remember talking about it. Actually, we only talked about orgasm briefly when discussing ejaculation and putting on a condom properly. A lot of the stuff we did in the "sensitive issues" part of it had to do with sexual identity, sexual orientation, sexual abuse, STDs and HIV, stuff like that. I don't remember a lot of the orgasm stuff. Maybe it was because I was still really nervous and embarrassed about stuff like that at that time. Intrigued and curious, but embarrassed.

Honestly CG our school did a real crappy job in the sex ed department. They probubly changed it by the time you reached it but for me they didn't even mention orgasms or ejaculation at all. They need to revise the system and fast or the present day children are gonna be out doing stuff that the current system doesn't even know about. Sex education is supposed to ready you to understand your sexuality and help you make resposible decisions (or at least thats how I view them) and you can't do either if they leave large amounts of information out.

-Zergplex

 

[SlowGuy]

Re: Re: Re: When I was 21...

Right here is where I would normally laugh and agree in jest, but now that I think about it, I don't remember talking about the clitoris or the female orgasm exclusively in my high school freshman health class.

That's certainly true. All my conservative-bashing aside, schools have always emphasized procreation rather than sex and now they have self-esteem and diversity issues to further distract them.

Jumping from reproductive mechanics and social issues allows them dodge puritanical hot-buttons like pleasure. In their defense, even if you're not into promoting abstinence among minors, it would be like pouring gasoline on a hormonal fire. (Just thinking about it has launched some fantasies of my teachers getting all flushed while going on about the pleasures of multiple orgasms. )

Fortunately, kids have easy access to their parents XXX DVD collection, so they can pickup tips on all sorts of unsafe sex practices and learn what fake orgasms and fake breasts look like.

All this reminds me of one of my favorite SNL skits with a parody of Clinton's Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders:
"As I have said, time and time again if masturbation is not taught in the home, then it must be taught in the schools! Every year many of our young people graduate from high school completely unable to masturbate! And of those who can, most are able to do so only at a fifth-grade level!"

 

[SlowGuy]

Re: Re: Re: When I was 21...

[Sorry, duplicate post. Lit's acting up, tonight.]

 

[SlowGuy]

Re: Re: Re: When I was 21...

[Dup]

 

[herecomestherain]

SlowGuy, that is one distracting av!

You've hit the nail on the head. Sex ed is generally about the mechanics of reproduction and health not about the concept of pleasure. The original comment about the lack of information about pleasure in sex ed books was made in the doco I was watching that got me started on this rave "The Clitoris -Forbidden Pleasure" by a rather wonderful woman who runs classes with difference in the UK where pleasure is discussed. Young people learn about orgasm and to value and respect their bodies and hopefully go on to grow up and be happy.

I do love this quote; "All teaching in all subjects aims to stimulate interest. It would be odd if this were not true of sex lessons." Roger Probert, Birmingham headmaster, 1973. Hmmm.

I had the pleasure recently of attending a major Sexpo event in the company of friends, one of whom is around 23 years old. I was blown away with how open and happy to discuss, explore and learn about sex and pleasure this young woman was. The experience gave me hope that in some small way we may have left some of the Puritanical crap behind us. I'm hoping that she is a typical example of her age group.

Oh and yes I do think that sex gets better and better. It's always been very good, but age,experience,hormones,expertise and study all help to make it terrific. Did I mention dedication and practice? LOL

 

[SlowGuy]

SlowGuy, that is one distracting av!

Thanks. At the risk of disappointing, my gluteals aren't as large as they appear in the AV.

I do love this quote; "All teaching in all subjects aims to stimulate interest. It would be odd if this were not true of sex lessons." Roger Probert, Birmingham headmaster, 1973. Hmmm.

That is a great quote.

I had the pleasure recently of attending a major Sexpo event in the company of friends, one of whom is around 23 years old. I was blown away with how open and happy to discuss, explore and learn about sex and pleasure this young woman was. The experience gave me hope that in some small way we may have left some of the Puritanical crap behind us. I'm hoping that she is a typical example of her age group.

We're lucky in out here in the Bay Area to have a lot of "sex-positive" events. The local sex toy co-op has extensive education and after-hours programs. Seeing the variety of people in the store and at the events is encouraging, but probably not representative of the US as a whole.

Oh and yes I do think that sex gets better and better. It's always been very good, but age, experience, hormones, expertise and study all help to make it terrific. Did I mention dedication and practice? LOL

That is one of the great things about sex, especially for women.

Also sex, like tennis, is something you can get better at by practicing with a machine. You'll want to avoid Onanist's Elbow, though.

 

[freddyandeddy]

I'm from the Bay Area as well and one of the most fun events going is the Exotic Erotic Ball. We went last year and had a blast! Very open and sexuality-positive. Sure, it's at the dumpy old Cow Palace (I can't believe I actually saw Foreigner and Emerson, Lake, and Palmer there in the late 70's), but this is more than made up for by the thousands of people in the coolest getups you've ever seen. Great vibe.

 

[SlowGuy]

I'm from the Bay Area as well and one of the most fun events going is the Exotic Erotic Ball. We went last year and had a blast! Very open and sexuality-positive. Sure, it's at the dumpy old Cow Palace (I can't believe I actually saw Foreigner and Emerson, Lake, and Palmer there in the late 70's), but this is more than made up for by the thousands of people in the coolest getups you've ever seen. Great vibe.

Yeah, there's that, plus the Folsom Street Fair and the Gay Pride Parade, even the Bay to Breakers Run. It's all good.

 

[freddyandeddy]

And Halloween on Castro Street! Ah, the memories...

They used to have something called The Hookers Ball way back when, which was fun as well.

 

[coppertop429]

As far as the sex-ed talk is going...
We were never taught about the "pleasures" of sex in sex-ed, more the physical/anatomy aspect instead. Kinda weird though...my biology text book this year has a chapter on "animal reproduction" that actually has a section which explains the "different stages of human orgasm." What, there are stages? It was news to me .

 

[jpred75]

sex-ed

I'll have to agree with those about the high school sex-ed. However, when I started college the literature was a lot more liberal. It was actually in a Biology class that I first came in contact with a discussion about the female orgasm. It went on for nearly a week before we got back into whatever it was we were supposed to be studying.

I think the key is more relaxing and enjoying what is going on rather than focusing on the target of orgasm, and practice.

 

[lovechild27]

Everyone keeps saying When I was in Hs they didnt teach that in sex ed...

they still DONT! Its kept out of school...parents dont want it. SAd but true...many people dont want their kids to learn about it and dont think it is important....especially if its their kids.

 

[coppertop429]

Everyone keeps saying When I was in Hs they didnt teach that in sex ed...

they still DONT! Its kept out of school...parents dont want it. SAd but true...many people dont want their kids to learn about it and dont think it is important....especially if its their kids.

Yeah, that's right...and I agree that it's sad.

On the other hand, though, I can see why maybe they try to avoid the whole topic of pleasure (whether right or wrong). I mean, having sex (oral or otherwise) is a big decision, one that's best made after a lot of thought and understanding of the consequences and proper protection. By ignoring the idea of orgasms entirely, maybe parents/teachers/etc are hoping to keep fewer kids from having sex. I mean, if they knew about how great it felt (in more detail), it would probably encourage more sexual relationships in younger teens. Again, this is just me seeing their side of the story....I'm still not sure it's right to keep people ignorant, though. As in most cases, the whole concept of sex -- orgasms and all -- ought to be addressed.

 

[jpred75]

Everyone keeps saying When I was in Hs they didnt teach that in sex ed...

they still DONT! Its kept out of school...parents dont want it. SAd but true...many people dont want their kids to learn about it and dont think it is important....especially if its their kids.

Here in the bible belt it'll probably be a long time before they ever open sex-ed up in HS. I'm not sure how I'd feel right now if my children were high school age. Hopefully I would have discussed sex with them enough that I would be comfortable them learning the rest in a classroom situation. Better than them trying to learn it "other" ways.

 

[College_geek]

I can see where most parents are coming from though. If I were a parent, I don't think I'd want my kid having sex "advertised" to them at school (more so than it's advertised in the media alone). However, I do think that both orgasms should be mentioned. Maybe not into how wonderful it feels, but maybe into what exactly it is. I know that I would've been interested in that in 9th grade.

But what I think is more important than sex-ed in high school is for parents to talk to their kids about it, especially at an appropriate age. My mom told me about sex and gave me a book or two when I hit puberty at around 9. It was a lot for my innocent 9 year old brain to take in, but I think it was okay because I didn't really understand it all. Her description wasn't that graphic, as it shouldn't be for a 9 year old (at least not me as a 9 year old), so I thought sex was just the man entering in the woman and sitting there. I didn't learn about the technicalities of it all until about 3 years later when she gave me another book that was more in depth and discussed masturbation and other forms of sex instead of the straight forward vaginal intercourse. It worked for me, but every person is different Hopefully parents and their children can find what works for them.

Just my early morning, Super Bowl induced, 2 cents.

 

[kiwis29]

I was never able to have an orgasm till I was 22. I am now 30 yrs old. Sure I had sex in HS did I enjoy it..HELL NO!!Not as much as I do now anyways..

As far as the whole sex education thing in school, myself as a parent of three, two girls and one boy, I think sex education should be discussed to the full extent of it..They need to talk about the pleasures of sex and the consequences of good sex. I think that kids now days need to be told the truth. I certainly let my daughters know everything that is going on in my life..I know that my own mother did not tell me anything about that time of the month and what happens and why. I started my period in school in the fifth grade..I freaked out..My relationship with my girls is totally different than that. My oldest girl is 9 and my 2nd daughter is 5 and they know what is going on with me when I am having my period..I think now a days kids need the truth good or bad.. The experimenting stage is too risky and I think if they know the truth they might be a little more laid back on the whole subject of sex..It won't be so much the FORBIDDEN FRUIT kind of thing..Maybe this is just total rambling garbage but I hope I made sense..

 

[College_geek]

As far as the whole sex education thing in school, myself as a parent of three, two girls and one boy, I think sex education should be discussed to the full extent of it..They need to talk about the pleasures of sex and the consequences of good sex. I think that kids now days need to be told the truth. I certainly let my daughters know everything that is going on in my life..I know that my own mother did not tell me anything about that time of the month and what happens and why. I started my period in school in the fifth grade..I freaked out..My relationship with my girls is totally different than that. My oldest girl is 9 and my 2nd daughter is 5 and they know what is going on with me when I am having my period..I think now a days kids need the truth good or bad.. The experimenting stage is too risky and I think if they know the truth they might be a little more laid back on the whole subject of sex..It won't be so much the FORBIDDEN FRUIT kind of thing..Maybe this is just total rambling garbage but I hope I made sense..

Good point. It's nice to actually hear it from a parent's point of view, especially since I'm far from being at parent at this point.

I guess instead of continuing with the same formula, they should have some trial sex-ed programs that are revised to include the pleasures of sex, and do a study to see if it changes what the students do. Whether it makes them less experimental or more likely to go have sex. I also think that sex-ed programs should encourage masturbation, since it's a safe form of sex, and it's a way to explore one's body and get in touch with it before they have an encounter with someone else.

 

[freddyandeddy]

As a teacher who has worked at all levels (elemetary through high school), I can tell you that it's a travesty that we don't do more to educate these kids on ALL aspects of sex. Did you know I'm not allowed to discuss the subject AT ALL? I could be fired for even innocently helping a student and took a huge chance some years ago while at a Jr. High School in Hollywood. I had a 13 year old girl who was seeing an 23 year old male and I found out they'd had sex. She threatened to kill herself if I told the school or her parents and here was a straight A student who'd fucked up bigtime. I'm not going to go into how it all turned out, but it would have been nice if someone could have given her all of the information to at least act responsibly in this situation, especially informing her of the LAWS against such a thing.

 

[College_geek]

As a teacher who has worked at all levels (elemetary through high school), I can tell you that it's a travesty that we don't do more to educate these kids on ALL aspects of sex. Did you know I'm not allowed to discuss the subject AT ALL? I could be fired for even innocently helping a student and took a huge chance some years ago while at a Jr. High School in Hollywood. I had a 13 year old girl who was seeing an 23 year old male and I found out they'd had sex. She threatened to kill herself if I told the school or her parents and here was a straight A student who'd fucked up bigtime. I'm not going to go into how it all turned out, but it would have been nice if someone could have given her all of the information to at least act responsibly in this situation, especially informing her of the LAWS against such a thing.

Yeah, that definitely is a big problem. Stuff like that scares and upset me.

With all this sex-ed program problem talk, I do have to say the one thing I really liked about it. I don't know if there are schools that don't do something like this (and I assume that there are a lot somewhere), but my class had some older teenagers and early twenty-somethings from the Cape's Gay/Straight Alliance come and talk about their experiences, the group, and how they came to terms with their sexual orientation. It was a really intriguing class that day.

 

[freddyandeddy]

Sheesh, that wasn't even the worst of it. I had a 12 year old with TWO kids, whose 16 year old brother had fathered FOUR.

Oh, and the parents at our school would riot if we ever tried to bring in a group like you're talking about. Too bad as it sounds awesome.

 

[Zergplex]

Yeah, that definitely is a big problem. Stuff like that scares and upset me.

With all this sex-ed program problem talk, I do have to say the one thing I really liked about it. I don't know if there are schools that don't do something like this (and I assume that there are a lot somewhere), but my class had some older teenagers and early twenty-somethings from the Cape's Gay/Straight Alliance come and talk about their experiences, the group, and how they came to terms with their sexual orientation. It was a really intriguing class that day.

They came to my class a few times, which I guess means the schools are getting better. Then again I have talked to alot of my online friends who were never even TAUGHT about gay people in school, now I think that is horrible. If they avoid homosexuals I wonder what they actually teach in chose schools...

-Zergplex

 

[kiwis29]

In summer of 2002 I went back to my hometown for my 10 yr High school reunion and there were at least 5 guys that had come out of the closet. Some of us kind of knew in HS that they went the other way but they never disclosed that to anyone. Not a big deal to any of the other classmates. They were as awesome ten years later as they were in HS. Anyways, back to the topic at hand I definately agree with you College_geek I think that they need to inform kids that masturbation is not a disgusting thing, like so many children are so well known to believe. It is not gross it is actually an awesome practice..I personally loved it when I was in HS not that I told anyone, I would have probably died if anyone knew that I masturbated and how often I did it..LOL I think there needs to be a sex ed. class implemented in all schools nation wide that teaches girls and guys alike the whole pregnancy deal..Girls wear that big prego belly for a week than they have the child and have to see what it is like to be a mom and dad and get up for 3:00 feedings, maybe they should even have babysitting classes where they are required to babysit someones child once a month or more than that some children don't behave badly for babysitters till they are familiar with that person..I don't know what they need to do but something needs to be done with these kids that are so young and having babies. I could not even imagine what life would be like for me now if I would have had my kids when I was in HS..