Orgasm from intercourse

[Guest]

Hi,

I've been with my girlfriend for five years, and she just cannot come from sexual intercourse.

I mean that she doesn't come with my cock inside of her; fingers and tongue and so on, that is fine.

She finds it hard to orgasm with her legs apart - she tenses them, and straightens them.

Any advice on how we change this habit!?!

A serious question, folks!

 

[Lust Engine]

Does she cum from masturbation? It just sounds as though she's really REALLY tense or just trying too hard. Whatever the reason, just be tender and re-assuring to her that it's okay. There's no need to be pressured into having an orgasm; besides it could be something the both of you work towards.

But seeing as how I'm speaking from a guy's point of view, I think the lovely ladies of Lit here would be more helpful with the practical matters at hand here.

Hang in there... the both of you!

 

[SexyChele]

*sigh* Men have to realize that not all women (in fact, the majority) cannot achieve orgasm through vaginal stimulation alone. That's what that little lovely nub it right above the vagina. It's our "pleasure center"! And it really doesn't get rubbed long enough or hard enough to acheive orgasm through penetration alone.

I have never orgasmed with a man inside of me. I can orgasm through fingering or oral, yes. But not through penetration alone. And you know what? It don't matter to me. I love the feeling of being penetrated, and as long as I cum sometime during the encounter, what difference does it make?

As far as your g/f needing to keep her legs straight and tenseness you speak of, well, you might as well be speaking of me. Yeah, I know there are women who can come in any position, but there are women that have "a" position that works for them. I've been told it is possible to "retrain" a woman, but I am 42 and no one has been sucessful yet. Even when I've tried myself.

My question to you would be: How does your girlfriend feel about this? Does she have a desire to change? And if she does, does that desire come from pressure from you, or from a desire to really change? (Believe me, I've had men "blame" me for not being able to cum from just having them pound their cocks into me - my body just doesn't work that way, and they are the ones who need to deal with it, not me) If you girlfriend is happy with the way things are, then I would reconsider your motives.

Your girlfriend may always be this way. She might change. But if either or both of you are making a bigger deal of this than is necessary, it can ruin a sex life.

Just my .02 worth. I'm other lovely ladies respond as well.

 

[Guest]

This is HER request!

It may have sounded as if I was putting pressure on, but she is the one who brought this up last night.

Yeah, I'd love it if she came with wild abandon every time I slipped into her, but i know that isn't a real-life thing.
However, she does want to come through sex - although, I may put some of the blame on women's mags and sex in the city!

She likes coming with her vibe in her, with me sucking her nipples and playing with her clit. She likes the feeling of being "full" when she comes. We just cannot manage it with 'penis-in-vagina' intercourse.

It isn't a depressing thing, and it doesn't mean our sex life suffers, BUT it is something we both feel could change.

Even if it is only a once in a blue-moon thing, it'd make those moons worth waiting for!

PS. I'm of average size. Not that it matters, but I know there is bound to be the odd comment about it sooner or later!!

 

[Norton77]

I AM DEVILMONKEY - forgot my login details!

I'm a moron, but I couldn't remember my log-on details so was on here as DevilMonkey.
I am actually he.

I swear it!

I'm still looking for suggestions to help us achieve simultaneous orgasm during sex.... or for my girlf. to cum during intercourse.

And, I'd love to hear if anyone has any views on threesomes when you are in a relationship.

 

[Guest]

Don't feel so bad her about not orgaming when penetrated. My wife didn't either until just recent years. We've been married 20.

As long as you take care of her real good in other ways, mouth, gingers etc.

We actually have a friend who's husband divorced her because she couldn't "feel" him. He kept complaining, " can't you feel my big cock"?
He was an asshole

 

[SexyChele]

Didn't mean to offend, DM. I've just had too many men "demand" that I cum when they are inside, regardless of whether my clit was receiving proper stimulation or not.

Here's a suggestion, not sure if it will work or not, but it might be worth a try. Try fingering your girlfriend, getting her very worked up. As she gets close to orgasming, slip inside of her and have her either finger her clit or place a vibe on it. Allow for her to straighten out her legs - that will be very important! It might seem a little awkward, but remember, you are only starting out. She may orgasm this way, she may not. You may or may not be fully inside of her the first (few?) time(s). If this works, keep it up, or try various positions, such as entering her from behind while she is lying on her stomach, or when she is on her side.

Have her remember it is all about enjoyment and pleasure, period. Women's mags are only out to sell more mags, and from what I've heard about "Sex and the City" it is so far from reality as to be comedic. Play around, be adventurous. But remember two things: She needs direct clitoral stimulation (and there is nothing wrong with that) and her legs need to be together/straight. It is workable, but takes patience.

Now, exactly what type of threesome did you have in mind? MMF? FFM? And what are you curious about?

 

[huskie]

*sigh* Men have to realize that not all women (in fact, the majority) cannot achieve orgasm through vaginal stimulation alone. That's what that little lovely nub it right above the vagina. It's our "pleasure center"! And it really doesn't get rubbed long enough or hard enough to acheive orgasm through penetration alone.

I have never orgasmed with a man inside of me. I can orgasm through fingering or oral, yes. But not through penetration alone. And you know what? It don't matter to me. I love the feeling of being penetrated, and as long as I cum sometime during the encounter, what difference does it make?

As far as your g/f needing to keep her legs straight and tenseness you speak of, well, you might as well be speaking of me. Yeah, I know there are women who can come in any position, but there are women that have "a" position that works for them. I've been told it is possible to "retrain" a woman, but I am 42 and no one has been sucessful yet. Even when I've tried myself.

My question to you would be: How does your girlfriend feel about this? Does she have a desire to change? And if she does, does that desire come from pressure from you, or from a desire to really change? (Believe me, I've had men "blame" me for not being able to cum from just having them pound their cocks into me - my body just doesn't work that way, and they are the ones who need to deal with it, not me) If you girlfriend is happy with the way things are, then I would reconsider your motives.

Your girlfriend may always be this way. She might change. But if either or both of you are making a bigger deal of this than is necessary, it can ruin a sex life.

Just my .02 worth. I'm other lovely ladies respond as well.

ya.....well....... You'v never had ME mount you from behind either Missy!!!!!! now bend over!!!!!

 

[babygirl79]

I had the same problem as your girlfriend until about 4 years ago. I was dying to know what the rage was all about .... orgasming with a dickin you. So, I went out and get my clit hod pierced. I can have an orgasm now during intercourse, but only if I'm riding the guy. ONly once have I had an orgasm in a missionary position. I have never had one in a "doggie" position, or on my side. I have had a few while I was more or less standing on my head (using the bed for support)... but that's a hard position to master, so I won't even TRY to explain it.

Also, vibes make it actually harder for a woman to reach orgasm with a man alone. Sorry men, but vibes know exactly what to do (because we're putting them here.. there.... and everywhere).... it takes down our sensitivity levels if we use them too often. I know it may be hard... but have her try not using her toy (s) for a few weeks, then try sex again....

If you guys are into the missionary position... then while you're in here... rub her clit (instead of using the vibe to rub it)..... ask her what feels good. Before I got my clit hood pierced... sure sex felt good... but now it feels GGGGGGREAT (show her you're a tiger)

 

[tom_novak]

My g/f has trouble coming in the missionary position. When she gets on top (preferrably if I'm sitting up), she gets all the stimulation she needs. We tried missionary with a pillow under her butt and she came. Sometimes it's about finding the right angle of entry. And sometimes, as I've learned from other women, it's not going to happen. As long as you can bring her off and she's happy, you're doing all right.

As for the threesome, is it your idea or hers?

 

[Matrixcubed]

Just a thought

This is just an idea, I mean my girlfriend and I have never had vaginal or anal sex (we just aren't ready, but have done most other things imaginable).

But when you are penetrating her, like others have said, you really need to pay attention to her clit and other "hot spots". I mean, unless you are hitting her gspot when you do this (which it sounds like you aren't) then while penetration is nice it just doesn't give the feelings like other places do.

Also, I think the pleasure from penetration, at least as my girlfriend describes it is mostly pschological from the feeling of something being in there. It's like the feelings of love she has for you..... it can be the most important loving part of the encounter, without being the most physically pleasurable.

 

[Norton77]

My gf has started a new job and is a little tired right now (past day or two) so all sex ideas are off for a bit.
I will certainly take on board all that has been said... i think it is just a matter of her using anything BUT a vibe to come......
Next time we are "at it" I'll go slow, tease her, make her wet, make her tingle all over, tease her clit, her pussy, and then slowly start to slide into her, all the time playing with her clit.

And i'll be using all the help you've all given, so thanks!
I'll keep you posted!

As for a threesome, well.
We are in a relationship, obviously, and both fantasize about having another guy join us.
My girlf only wants a cock to suck as she gets fucked by me - we've tried using a vibe on her whilst she sucks me, but it isn't the same (we presume!).
So, we do want this, but it is a little daunting since she has only ever been with me (other than the odd fumble before we met), and it's a little strange to meet someone to do it with.

We've been to naturist saunas, and enjoyed playing with one another whilst one or two guys were getting turned on, but it's just aking things that extra step.

What makes it "worse" is that we've had a sort-of threesome with her best female mate - they both sucked me off.
They weren't weird with each other after and didn't fall out, but it was a little strange!

For her, anyway, since I have done this sort of thing before.

 

[sheath]

It sounds like you and your girlfriend really do pay attention to each other and try very hard to make your sex life the best it can be. Kudos for that!

Orgasming with penetration, I think, has everything to do with angle. In some positions your shaft will rub right across her clit, and if you keep it up long enough it might work. If you hit on something she likes, don't try to change it or make it even better. Just KEEP doing it until she tells you to stop! There are very few things in the world that compare to that feeling of having an orgasm while he is deep inside you.

Keep trying. It is WORTH it to make her feel that just once!

S.

 

[Norton77]

Happened once, a year or three back!

She has had one or two orgasms during intercourse, but not many.
They came about (excuse the pun) from her already cumming once before my cock was introduced.

"Hello, this is my cock."

Sorry!

 

[as332]

A suggestion only

One thing you could try is her on the bed, on her back, you can then enter her, but keep movements to a minimum. THen with your fingers play with her clit.... An old girl friend had the same problem, this is how we 'cured' it. Being on the edge of the bed (or other platform) means her legs were over hanging and could not be straightened. Also she got used to me feeling her, although at times she would play with her clit and I with her breasts (and vice versa). Bottom line is she gradually got used to me beig inside her during sex and orgasm.

 

[Norton77]

Big problem is...

The biggest problem is that she has health issues with her knees... they dislocate at random, almost.
the last time, she was simply walking to the kitchen.
So, she feels a little on-edge sometimes.

Hey ho.

No more three-some suggestions, I see?
We are both into watching (never been able to!) and being watched (in theory, anyway!).

No sex this week.
So, I'll let you all know when I can try the tips!!

 

[Norton77]

Upset

Well, just to update you all, we haven't had sex for over two weeks so i have no chnace of making her orgasm from penetrative sex.

She is just not a sexual lady.

BOLLOCKS!

 

[PaulX35]

Re: This is HER request!

It may have sounded as if I was putting pressure on, but she is the one who brought this up last night.

Yeah, I'd love it if she came with wild abandon every time I slipped into her, but i know that isn't a real-life thing.
However, she does want to come through sex - although, I may put some of the blame on women's mags and sex in the city!

She likes coming with her vibe in her, with me sucking her nipples and playing with her clit. She likes the feeling of being "full" when she comes. We just cannot manage it with 'penis-in-vagina' intercourse.

It isn't a depressing thing, and it doesn't mean our sex life suffers, BUT it is something we both feel could change.

Even if it is only a once in a blue-moon thing, it'd make those moons worth waiting for!

PS. I'm of average size. Not that it matters, but I know there is bound to be the odd comment about it sooner or later!!

DM,

Women orgasming through intercourse is the biggest myth existing. It's the exception rather than the rule, as Masters & Johnsson showed as far back as the late seventies.

One thing you might want to try --carefully though-- is withdrawing as far as physically possible during intercourse, and then try and rub your pubic bone over the area of her clit, which will usually happen whenever you slide in again. Gyrating a little, in stead of just up-and-down can also help. It's no guarantee, but your girlfriend might guide you a little, to find out if it works for the two of you. I know of two women turning out to be able to orgasm that way, but as said, it's not a guarantee; it's against the odds even, but you might want to try it. Spread legs don't help, is my experience.

Paul

 

[Goodguy2]

Try this DM

You and your gf need to try the spooning position. You being behind her obviously. In this position, you are not only able to rub her clit but also both of her breasts. One with your mouth and the other with your free hand. Try stimulating her until she is very relaxed and arroused and then slip yourself into her. In this position, she can straighten out her legs all she wants. Aso, you do not need to thrust too much until she is just about to cum and when she is finally inthe throughs of cumming.

Try it. I think you both will enjoy it.

Take care,

GG2