L
LilyMelb
Guest
Hey all...
Was just reading the Trained to Come thread, which got me thinking about a subject a friend and I were discussing recently, so am interested to hear others' views....
As subs, my friend and I have both had Doms who've insisted on orgasm control - ie. only allowed to cum with permission. Now I can't speak for my friend, but as a sub I know I like this aspect of my current relationship because it reminds me constantly (hey, I'm constantly horny, lol) of the power exchange and exactly who is in control (ie. not me, lol).
My friend, however, had a big bust up with her Dom which brought all the usual emotional upheavals any relationship break up has, vanilla or D/s... but as time went on, even after the emotional healing started, she found it very very difficult to regain personal control of her ability to cum - ie. she still found it pretty much impossible to cum without 'permission' for far far longer (months, a year or more perhaps) than it took her to start to apparently emotionally get over the ended relationship. When she finally was able to enjoy orgasming for her own simple pleasure again, it took a great deal of psychological and emotional work on her part to get to that point.
Now, this could be simply because she wasn't as emotionally 'over' the broken relationship as she'd thought... we've all had broken hearts and I for one know that my sex drive near dissapears when I'm heartbroken, that ain't a D/s thing, just a human being thing...
... but I was interested to know what others thought about the connection between the orgasm control rules my sub friend obeyed in her relationahip and her inability to cum for so long after the relationship ended....
Just an additional - a third sub we were both speaking to at one stage about this said she'd experienced similar and after one bad break up, one of the boudnaries she set in any future D/s relationship was that orgasm control was a hard limit - her orgasms were hers and hers alone to control .......
Anyway, just thought I'd see what others think.
Ta for your thoughts...
Lily
Was just reading the Trained to Come thread, which got me thinking about a subject a friend and I were discussing recently, so am interested to hear others' views....
As subs, my friend and I have both had Doms who've insisted on orgasm control - ie. only allowed to cum with permission. Now I can't speak for my friend, but as a sub I know I like this aspect of my current relationship because it reminds me constantly (hey, I'm constantly horny, lol) of the power exchange and exactly who is in control (ie. not me, lol).
My friend, however, had a big bust up with her Dom which brought all the usual emotional upheavals any relationship break up has, vanilla or D/s... but as time went on, even after the emotional healing started, she found it very very difficult to regain personal control of her ability to cum - ie. she still found it pretty much impossible to cum without 'permission' for far far longer (months, a year or more perhaps) than it took her to start to apparently emotionally get over the ended relationship. When she finally was able to enjoy orgasming for her own simple pleasure again, it took a great deal of psychological and emotional work on her part to get to that point.
Now, this could be simply because she wasn't as emotionally 'over' the broken relationship as she'd thought... we've all had broken hearts and I for one know that my sex drive near dissapears when I'm heartbroken, that ain't a D/s thing, just a human being thing...
... but I was interested to know what others thought about the connection between the orgasm control rules my sub friend obeyed in her relationahip and her inability to cum for so long after the relationship ended....
Just an additional - a third sub we were both speaking to at one stage about this said she'd experienced similar and after one bad break up, one of the boudnaries she set in any future D/s relationship was that orgasm control was a hard limit - her orgasms were hers and hers alone to control .......
Anyway, just thought I'd see what others think.
Ta for your thoughts...
Lily
