urguyscott
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2015
- Posts
- 1,393
Use to be a court recorder and legal clerk and have witnessed some really dumb lawyers. Most of them of course go into politics which explains Washington D. C.
These are not mine. Those you would never believe. Please add your own.
Attorney: Ho many were boys?
Witness: None.
Atty: Were there any girls?
Wit: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
Atty: How was your first marriage terminated?
Wit: By death.
Atty: And by whose death was it terminated?
Wit: Take a guess.
Atty: Can you describe the individual?
Wit: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Atty: Was this a male or female?
Wit: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
Atty: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
Wit: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Atty: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
Wit: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
Atty: All your responses MUST be oral. OK? What school did you go to?
Wit: Oral.
Atty: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
Wit: The autopsy started around 8:30 pm
Atty: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
Wit: If not, he was by the time I finished.
Atty: Are you qualified to give an urine sample?
Wit: Are you qualified to ask that question?
Atty: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Wit: No.
Atty: Did you check for blood pressure?
Wit: No.
Atty: Did you check for breathing?
Wit: No
Atty: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Wit: No.
Atty: How can you be sure doctor?
Wit: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Atty: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
Wit: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practing law.
(Wasn't Biden a lawyer? Ah, that explains everything.)
These are not mine. Those you would never believe. Please add your own.
Attorney: Ho many were boys?
Witness: None.
Atty: Were there any girls?
Wit: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
Atty: How was your first marriage terminated?
Wit: By death.
Atty: And by whose death was it terminated?
Wit: Take a guess.
Atty: Can you describe the individual?
Wit: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Atty: Was this a male or female?
Wit: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
Atty: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
Wit: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Atty: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
Wit: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
Atty: All your responses MUST be oral. OK? What school did you go to?
Wit: Oral.
Atty: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
Wit: The autopsy started around 8:30 pm
Atty: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
Wit: If not, he was by the time I finished.
Atty: Are you qualified to give an urine sample?
Wit: Are you qualified to ask that question?
Atty: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Wit: No.
Atty: Did you check for blood pressure?
Wit: No.
Atty: Did you check for breathing?
Wit: No
Atty: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Wit: No.
Atty: How can you be sure doctor?
Wit: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Atty: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
Wit: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practing law.
(Wasn't Biden a lawyer? Ah, that explains everything.)
