Opinion

rockinbbw

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Dec 15, 2009
Posts
70
I feel like this is a like minded group of people, hence the enjoyment I get from chatting with lit people. I am married, and care about my husband, but I have such a sexual appetite that I do not want sex with just him. There is more to it than that- but is this normal, or am I a dirty slut that has no business being married unless the guy is equally as sexually charged as I am?
 
I feel like this is a like minded group of people, hence the enjoyment I get from chatting with lit people. I am married, and care about my husband, but I have such a sexual appetite that I do not want sex with just him. There is more to it than that- but is this normal, or am I a dirty slut that has no business being married unless the guy is equally as sexually charged as I am?

It's a fair question, but it's a question that I think can only be answered by you and your husband. Does the thought of you being fucked by someone else turn him on? You mention that he's not as "sexually charged" have you spoken to him about your desires and fantasies?
 
re:

No he does not want me to have sex with anyone else, and yes I have told him what I want and he said those things do not turn him on, so I just go through life mostly in my own world.
 
No he does not want me to have sex with anyone else, and yes I have told him what I want and he said those things do not turn him on, so I just go through life mostly in my own world.

Well, I think that your world is someplace I'd like to play too. ;)

PM Sent
 
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I understand your predicament. I'm in a similar one. My wife has little desire for sex, and when she does, its pretty predictable. I mean, come on a blowjob every now and then would be nice for a change. I've thought many times about stepping outside the marriage for a little excitement.
 
Well, you're going to get 100 PMs from guys telling you what you want to hear so they'll have a chance with you (LOL). But in all honesty, you need to tell your husband how you feel and if you cannot come to a solution that involved you two being married, then a divorce is your only option.

Would you want somebody going behind YOUR back, cheating on you? I don't think so. And no, you wouldn't be a slut - you'd be a cheater. That's not cool.
 
I've been in relationships like that and, in the end, the need for physical AND emotional satisfactoin always won out. Having just one, but not both, leads to an emptiness that we try to fill. I wish there was easy answer, but there isn't.

And now, for the required "I wish I lived in Oklahoma" comment since you and I share the same sexual worldviews (and you're hot...) :)
 
Ive asked for an open marriage several times so I could have my cake and eat it to so to speak. I have morals, but they can occasionally be effed up. I feel that since he has caused a large amount of emotional pain over the years, it justifies me filling the emptiness in other ways. He is controlling and Im not one that likes to be controlled (non sexually) I dunno, Its more than about the sex I guess. But someone did answer my question- that most of us that are married are here because we are lacking something somewhere else. And he was right. Made a little light bulb go off in my head. ding ding
 
i know i did get married for other than love

but i love my live and wife, and even getting caught and forgiven, being out here (Omaha) and due back home by Wed. all i have wanted to do is hook up or hang out with a woman. but now,,,, it doesnt matter so much i made it thru without being bad
 
I feel that since he has caused a large amount of emotional pain over the years, it justifies me filling the emptiness in other ways.

Um, is it just me, or does this sound like a terribly unhealthy dynamic?

If you are empty, and he's controlling, and you can't have the sort of sexual life that you want, and he's not open to an open relationship, why are you still together?
 
Kids, Money, family, and the courts around here really dont give a shit about emotional abuse.
 
I don't think an unmatched sexual appetite is that unusual. I find myself in the same situation. I 'self-medicate' here through the forums. With chat, cam and some masturbation here online, I keep the other things working in my RL. I don't think it works for all people but I find my wife a great person on all fronts, just that we have a difference in sexual appetite. I get my release here and the rest of my life works well :)
 
Everyone is different and require different types of stimulation, I thought the same but find comfort in knowing the difference between fantasy and reality. I feel that it keeps you in touch with your own sexuality, meaning you are not a mindless soul desperatly searching to find yourself. You know what you want and know what you like, so let everyone else continue searching for what you have already found.Its nice to know where you are at sexually and it gives you energy to focus on other issues in your life.?. Is that silly or what?Its just my opinion.:)
 
I don't think your a dirty slut and the situation you find yourself in is pretty normal. It's highly unusual for two people to be totally compatible sexually. It's always a matter of give and take however, in some case such as yours were there seems to be no give on your husband's part I think it would me not only advantageous but, healthier for you to do a little exploring. So what are your limits? What would you like to do? The first thing is do whatever exploring you wish within your own comfort zone.
 
:)

Awesome responses everyone. Glad to know I am not totally out of line. I love it here on lit. Especially men who love us curvy women.
 
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