Only if you reply honestly

[HowMayIPleaseU]

I definitely think both men and women need it...

 

[DenverFunguy]

Hello and Thank you!

And from your photo you not only sound like your very beautiful but look it as well! By the way, I love the little note to Santa!

I will spend some time reading your other posts in the hopes of finding out more about you. Should you like to do the same with mine I’m a very open book and welcome you into my mind. Pardon the mess I’m quite dirty in the fun type of way! LOL

You sound quite lovely!

 

[renojohnny]

To answer your original question, I am that guy. The problem is my wife doesn't appreciate me being there for her.

 

[ImaginativeBF]

Of course...

Don't we all desire to experience or re-experience what we perceive to be missing from our relationships? The question is how do we approach gratifying that unfulfilled desire, whether it's to be cherished, fucked or both.

 

[swilly1364]

cant answer for the women

wife left on monday was supose to be back on the 19th and i found out yesterday that she wont be back till the 21 and she will not only miss my b-day(today) but family x-mas party and to have someone to hold and cuddle with would be such a releif

 

[WinterBlueAbby]

I agree with those who said that many men and women "need" or crave it. I have desires that are unfulfilled, so I seek an outlet and combine it with my real life. If someone is out there, like here who offers you all the emotional support you lack without the negative influences of the daily grind, then it is so easy to turn to that someone else to fill those needs.

But that is what fantasy is. You can't escape life, death, conflict, no matter how far you search. As long as the needs are filled and the proper perspective is kept, then is there any harm in seeking or giving a little emotional support, loving or pampering elsewhere?

 

[kitylady4more]

This is where I am at right now! My husband does not talk to me. Tells me that he doesnt really feel anything and when he is angry with me it is shared in a rather mean way! Almost like I am a child and I have done all that I can to piss him off (his words)! The words of Dr Phil keep running through my head that when you have a child/parent relationship as husband/wife then be ready to deal with the one "treated as the child" to rebel and run away! I feel like I am not good enough for him. I dont clean the house perfectly, I dont look like a playboy bunny(perfect), I dont have dinner ready exactly when he wants it, I am not pretty enough, I dont do everything to his tune.....etc.....

Sorry didnt mean to go there! Anyways you understand what I mean! I just want someone to hold me, tell me all will be ok and caress me WITHOUT the intent of how you can get me to suck "your" dick.

It is frustrating cause I always tell him how I feel and I tell him that he can tell me anything. Most of the time it is to tell me how he hates the way I did this or that! I just want that comfort of the big strong arms to be around me and know that I am genuinely a real person and that my exsistience is really still needed!

My kids may be the only thing really keeping me alive......

 

[kitylady4more]

How many married women do crave another man not just for sex, but to be loved and pampered and to be heard and a shoulder to cuddle on ?

Im sorry my reply is Yes I want this!

 

[Chocolate_Bear]

I'd love to give it to you Kity, I'm dying for someone to devote myself to completly.

 

[avvikande]

Whom was it who sang that song, Mary Chapin Carpenter maybe, "Shouldn't I have this, shouldn't I have all of this and ... passionate kisses, passionate kisses, from you"...

Of course I want this. Want the sex part too. Want the whole enchilada. Want, want, want. Or is it need, need, need. We are a society of want and need. Does knowing that make me want any less? Nah.

Some nights I can be in the same room he's in and have him not even speak to me for 4 hours. Until it's time for him to leave for work and then he says, "ok, see you in the morning". WTF? *sigh*

But communication happens two ways right? So you talk to someone's back for a few hours, and ask the same questions over and over in search of a response... it's very endearing *sarcastic little head nod*.

I've petitioned for someone capable and able to buy the house next door so I can have an "on call" buddy. Alas, the house has sold and it does not appear that he is the "on call" type.

I will continue to piss into the wind, trying to avoid splashback. Everyone wants these guys, no one can find them because they only exist in email. This is my morning revelation

 

[kitylady4more]

Whom was it who sang that song, Mary Chapin Carpenter maybe, "Shouldn't I have this, shouldn't I have all of this and ... passionate kisses, passionate kisses, from you"...

Of course I want this. Want the sex part too. Want the whole enchilada. Want, want, want. Or is it need, need, need. We are a society of want and need. Does knowing that make me want any less? Nah.

Some nights I can be in the same room he's in and have him not even speak to me for 4 hours. Until it's time for him to leave for work and then he says, "ok, see you in the morning". WTF? *sigh*

But communication happens two ways right? So you talk to someone's back for a few hours, and ask the same questions over and over in search of a response... it's very endearing *sarcastic little head nod*.

I've petitioned for someone capable and able to buy the house next door so I can have an "on call" buddy. Alas, the house has sold and it does not appear that he is the "on call" type.

I will continue to piss into the wind, trying to avoid splashback. Everyone wants these guys, no one can find them because they only exist in email. This is my morning revelation

Are you my twin living in the same exsistience that I am? Maybe we should become each others buddy! LOL! Sorry just kidding! Just find it funny to read my story in your story! Have you perfected the art of talking to someones back? I am hoping that someone can prove me wrong regarding the guy only exsisting in email! Heres to us finding that guy!

 

[just2damshy]

You know this applies to guys too of course .... But I know question was to gilrs so I'll not answer, but emotional poverty seems to be everywhere.

Emotional Poverty is an great adjective for this subject, I agree wholeheartedly!

 

[DaBears34]

Emotional Poverty is an great adjective for this subject, I agree wholeheartedly!

Very well said.

 

[just2damshy]

Very well said.

The thing about it is that we all experience emotional poverty. Not just in marriages or with significant others, but in friendships, and even occasionally family.
Hard to maintain any kind of relationship these days in my opinion. Seems like we are all in a hurry to get somewhere and do something, and then have nothing left to spend on others. At least that is what I run into with all types of relationships.

 

[avvikande]

Are you my twin living in the same exsistience that I am? Maybe we should become each others buddy! LOL! Sorry just kidding! Just find it funny to read my story in your story! Have you perfected the art of talking to someones back? I am hoping that someone can prove me wrong regarding the guy only exsisting in email! Heres to us finding that guy!

While I have a twin, I'm pretty sure you're not her. She is far too "good" for the likes of us online trash, lol. And it's Sunday, she'd be in church about now.

I have perfected "back talking"!! The key is to answer your own questions. He will have no interest in answering until you have yourself a two sided conversation, and then he will feel compelled to answer simply because you are making it obvious that he is obviously ignoring you. Will this make any changes for future back talking? Umm no. While he will realize he is being a shit bag, he will not draw the conclusion that he should not do this, and will continue to ignore you forever more. Sorry, truth is a rude morning treat.

I think the way to go is to find a girlfriend, and have a girlfriend with benefits. However, while these "girlfriends" are running amiss online, there seem to be a total lack of them in reality. A little Christmas shopping, a little visit to the local coffee shop for a mocha latte, a little rubbing each others over-ignored clits together... I could like that life.

 

[kitylady4more]

While I have a twin, I'm pretty sure you're not her. She is far too "good" for the likes of us online trash, lol. And it's Sunday, she'd be in church about now.

I have perfected "back talking"!! The key is to answer your own questions. He will have no interest in answering until you have yourself a two sided conversation, and then he will feel compelled to answer simply because you are making it obvious that he is obviously ignoring you. Will this make any changes for future back talking? Umm no. While he will realize he is being a shit bag, he will not draw the conclusion that he should not do this, and will continue to ignore you forever more. Sorry, truth is a rude morning treat.

I think the way to go is to find a girlfriend, and have a girlfriend with benefits. However, while these "girlfriends" are running amiss online, there seem to be a total lack of them in reality. A little Christmas shopping, a little visit to the local coffee shop for a mocha latte, a little rubbing each others over-ignored clits together... I could like that life.

Yeah I hear you! My twin is in church right now too! It is where I should be but having a hard time with that one right now!

Wow, I have done that too and then when he snaps out of it he looks at me and says "Why are you talking to yourself, are you losing it?" and your like WTF??? Put me in a straight jacket and a rubber room! It is crazy! And you want to know the worst thing?, it is when we are watching a sad movie like Gladiator, Man on Fire, Philidelphia, etc....when he will have the few tears running down his face towards the end of the movie and then (very occasionally) he will say, "Why am I such an ass to you?" "Why do you take me the way I am?"..... and I am just floored! It is the most frustrating thing in the whole wide world!

I agree with you on the finding a girlfriend with benefits thing, but they are very few and non existent for the most part! Do we not realize how much fun we can have together while going out for fun? You and I think too much alike it is scary! But in a very good way! To bad you are way up there and I am way down here! But if he ever gets stationed near Canada (which can be HIGHLY likely) lets keep each other in mind!

 

[wordsNguitars]

I tend to be a good listener, and have thus found myself in this type on relationship from time to time... and I have found that it's for all sorts of reasons - someone needs an outlet... unmet needs or wants... but I keep coming down to the fact that it's just so... well, perfect when you can connect with someone compassionately, even for a little while... whether or not there is a sexual element in the relationship (as there usually was in mine)...

and apologies here - a post pre-coffee could not make all the sense that it does in my head - I blame the fingers...

 

[naked_maniac]

Yeah I hear you! My twin is in church right now too! It is where I should be but having a hard time with that one right now!

Wow, I have done that too and then when he snaps out of it he looks at me and says "Why are you talking to yourself, are you losing it?" and your like WTF??? Put me in a straight jacket and a rubber room! It is crazy! And you want to know the worst thing?, it is when we are watching a sad movie like Gladiator, Man on Fire, Philidelphia, etc....when he will have the few tears running down his face towards the end of the movie and then (very occasionally) he will say, "Why am I such an ass to you?" "Why do you take me the way I am?"..... and I am just floored! It is the most frustrating thing in the whole wide world!

I agree with you on the finding a girlfriend with benefits thing, but they are very few and non existent for the most part! Do we not realize how much fun we can have together while going out for fun? You and I think too much alike it is scary! But in a very good way! To bad you are way up there and I am way down here! But if he ever gets stationed near Canada (which can be HIGHLY likely) lets keep each other in mind!

He obviously knows he treats you like crap, but you continue to take it so he will continue to give it. Life is too short to live like you and others have described on this thread. I was in a relationship where I dreaded going home, my ex-wife found fault with everything I did, so I just said, "Fuck it!" and got out. Now I am happy and my stress level is down considerably. If you think you can't leave, you are wrong, you will have friends and family who will support you. They probably already talk among themselves, wondering why you stay with the guy. You are too young to be this unhappy. Good luck!

 

[kitylady4more]

He obviously knows he treats you like crap, but you continue to take it so he will continue to give it. Life is too short to live like you and others have described on this thread. I was in a relationship where I dreaded going home, my ex-wife found fault with everything I did, so I just said, "Fuck it!" and got out. Now I am happy and my stress level is down considerably. If you think you can't leave, you are wrong, you will have friends and family who will support you. They probably already talk among themselves, wondering why you stay with the guy. You are too young to be this unhappy. Good luck!

Thank you for being very truthful with me! I hear you and know that you speak the truth! The problem is my fear! It has gripped me since I was very young! There is no excuse that I am going to give you that will make it all right or change the situation at hand! There have been many days that I have wanted to just look at him and say "Fuck you and get out!", however it has not happened! I only pray that I can take the steps that you have taken and maybe realize where I can be, that there is life after him!

With that being said, you are right, there are others that talk and wonder! Even my mom, aunt, and granny have told me "To grow some balls!" and that is coming from 3 very consecutive women! So I know what everyone else thinks, I know what needs to be done, and i have tried other things.....so here is to choices!

As said by Diane Lane in "Must Love Dogs", when asked by her sister if she would have ever left her husband kevin:

Carol:
You never would have left Kevin,
Would you?

Sarah (Diane Lane):
lf he hadn't left me?
No, l don't think so,

Carol:
But you weren't really happy,

Sarah:
Well, l figured that was the life l picked,
so l had to make the most of it,
l'm not even sure
l deserve a new life now,
Sometimes l think that was supposed
to be my one chance and l blew it,

Carol:
Where did we get these bad attitudes,
you think?........

 

[Chocolate_Bear]

Wow, that's a pretty deep line from a movie, I can totally relate. Thats why we come on here, to find our new and fresh starts

 

[DaBears34]

The thing about it is that we all experience emotional poverty. Not just in marriages or with significant others, but in friendships, and even occasionally family.
Hard to maintain any kind of relationship these days in my opinion. Seems like we are all in a hurry to get somewhere and do something, and then have nothing left to spend on others. At least that is what I run into with all types of relationships.

You are exactly right just2damshy. It seems that the more able we are able to connect with more people - message boards, e-mail, text messages, phone calls, etc. - the broader we spread ourselves the harder it is to maintain relationships of all types. Seems a bit ironic doesn't it?

 

[just2damshy]

You are exactly right just2damshy. It seems that the more able we are able to connect with more people - message boards, e-mail, text messages, phone calls, etc. - the broader we spread ourselves the harder it is to maintain relationships of all types. Seems a bit ironic doesn't it?

Very ironic! All of life is ironic to me. We work work work for the light at the end of the tunnel, only to miss all the the beautiful moments in the tunnel.
Awe now I am all melancholy

 

[DaBears34]

Very ironic! All of life is ironic to me. We work work work for the light at the end of the tunnel, only to miss all the the beautiful moments in the tunnel.
Awe now I am all melancholy

*hands just2damshy a handkerchief, just in case*

We just have to remember those beautiful moments are there for us to see. As Ferris Bueller said (I hope this is at least close), "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around, you just might miss it."

 

[just2damshy]

*hands just2damshy a handkerchief, just in case*

We just have to remember those beautiful moments are there for us to see. As Ferris Bueller said (I hope this is at least close), "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around, you just might miss it."

Thank you sweetheart!
I agree with the quote, but would like to alter it by saying that if you don't stop and look you might get lost. (ack I am so bad today)

 

[DaBears34]

Thank you sweetheart!
I agree with the quote, but would like to alter it by saying that if you don't stop and look you might get lost. (ack I am so bad today)

lol well I sure wouldn't want to get any more lost than I usually am anyway!