online love - possible or not

[Darien]

Online love is very possible,, Love comes in many different ways,, you can love someone's mannerisms, physically hold and feel the energy, experience the way they make you feel,, I've experienced the ultimate love in person from my online friends,, and I will say,, honesty has to be present in every conceivable aspect of your relationship,,, I have at least three friends, for life,, and I love all three of them,, I have met each of them,, our memories will last forever,,,not all were totally physical,,but as real as life,, therefore as real as love can be

 

[Angel]

perhaps im going to make people angry with me but i think when you are chatting with someone online theres alot of gaps and you fill in the gaps that are missing yourself ... so you end up making the person be something she/he is not ... someone that you can "love"


i think meeting someone online can be a stepping stone before meeting them and then falling in love then but i dont think you can say you love someone until you've met them for real ... just my opinion

Not true. I fell in love with BK after meeting him online. Meeting him in person just confirmed it. He *was* the gap that was missing in myself.

 

[luv2tvl69]

I will apologize ahead for this being so long, I have current feelings on this subject. I dont know about being IN love online. I dont fall IN love easily--bad history, deep scars. I definitely am in LIKE and in LUST with WC. However there are many levels of love, maybe being IN True Love is an elevation from one level to the next until you feel many levels for 1 person...regardless of differences, flaws, habits etc. I dont think there is single answer to what love is to someone--It can vary from person to person depending on individual needs.
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Main Entry: love From Merriam-Webster online
Function: noun
1 a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates> b : an assurance of love <give her my love>
2 : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion <love of the sea>
3 a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration <baseball was his first love> b (1) : a beloved person : DARLING -- often used as a term of endearment (2) British -- used as an informal term of address
4 a : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) : brotherly concern for others b : a person's adoration of God
5 : a god or personification of love
6 : an amorous episode : LOVE AFFAIR
7 : the sexual embrace : COPULATION
8 : a score of zero (as in tennis)
9 capitalized, Christian Science : GOD
- at love : holding one's opponent scoreless in tennis
- in love : inspired by affection
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-We respect each others feelings and desires--We treat each other respectfully.
-We were both new at cyberworld and helped each other feel comfortable with it, we guided each other thru out insecurity with it.
-We trust each other (a big issue with me). Maybe thats naive, but I know how open and honest I am with him (flaws and all) and I feel he is the same with me. I have had physical relationships and have been lied to to my face by most all of them, so phsyically seeing someone doesnt mean they dont lie.
-We want good things for each other and motivate one another with support and encouragement.
-We have shared very personal details of our lives with each other--good and bad.
-We cant wait to get home to share our day with each other. We are on each others minds often throughout the day.
-We like learning/and exploring about each other, our lives, who we are, our desires. We try to learn about each others interests to better understand each other. By knowing me as he does, he was able to tell that I was upset by something he said...he didnt mean to upset me, but he was able to tell just by my typing response that I was upset. How many can say their significant other or spouse can sense that. We of course talked thru it and everything is fine.
-We respect each others opinions even when we dont agree. And we accept each other differences, and there are many.


Alot of the words in the description definitely apply. Does that make this love? I dont know. Yes we have cyber/phone sex, and its very incredible, but its so much more than that. I dont feel IN love, but I definitely strongly feel something ...I know we have an incredible mental and emotional relationship--we connect. In ways I have rarely connected in person with a guy. My heart feels fuller, alive. If we ever physically met, could I fall IN love with him---I think so, in time. Thats 1 of the reasons I dont think I could meet him--our lives are definitely not moveable right now (we live on opposite coasts). I'd be afraid of loving someone I just cant be with--too painful. Who knows what the future brings...I just hope he is in my life for a long time, even if only by computer and phone. He has become very important and special, he brightens every day, makes every obstacle seem nonexistent. He truly makes me feel happy and special. I cant speak for him, but I think he feels the same.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

i think meeting someone online can be a stepping stone before meeting them and then falling in love then but i dont think you can say you love someone until you've met them for real ... just my opinion

I think that is your opinion.

You can fall in love online... I have been in love with 3 people.. 2 online... and true love never dies... it still exists.

I would say anything is possible. Never say Never. You never ever know what is possible until you try or let it happen.

Never will Never have me ....

 

[SweetCherry]

I do believe in online love. I've known Draco for over a year and we've been involved in our relationship for most of it. It started as a deep and meaningful friendship and built from there. It's not just cyber/phone sex. It's the fact he's there for me whenever I need him.

I don't know how anyone else's situation is, but I know friends and members of his family and do talk and chat with them. It's not like it's just him and I involved here. He's got kids and so do I. I love talking to his girls, and it always makes me smile when I get the mail and there's a letter with a picture someone has drawn for me in there. I have a strong bond built with not only him but his daughters as well.

I know him as well as I know anyone. I've seen his dark side and I know his flaws. I don't care. He also knows mine. Part of loving someone is accepting their flaws. I wouldn't change one thing about him. I admit he's not perfect, (and neither am I) but I wouldn't expect him to be. I love him just as he is.

I look at it as it's hard to have a totally sexual-based relationship when you've never met them. You have to move past the cyber/phone sex and get deeper into someone's head. I've moved to that place and seen what I need to. I love him with all my heart and soul and when I'm finally in his arms, I'll be the happiest woman on earth.

 

[Orlanth]

Another thing I haven't seen any one bring up yet. It goes to show that sex is not a must need thing for a reltionship to work. Reltionships can work over extreme distance, with out psyical (spelling?) contact.
You get to know the person well, and that makes it even more special when you finaly met in person.

That's if you find the right person like alot of people have. There is a high risk that things won't work. But it can happen. Siren and woofy, SC and Draco, and many others. I have had 2 online reltionnships, one turned out bad, because she was using me to get inmto the country. The 2nd, I'm still in, and it is going great. So it can happen. But there is a high chance it isn't real.

With real love, you should love their mind and not thir looks. And with reltionships over the internet, that can happen. I have seen it and have been apart of it.

 

[Bubblegum *sugarless*]

I participated in a cyber wedding. I was the bride. May seem corny to some, but we took it seriously. Now, after 7 months together online (5 since the wedding) we are busy planning our real life wedding. *Shrug* Love is just funny sometimes.

 

[beckbabe]

Ahem, I was referring to another couple girl. I think you may know the whole sad story. For a very few, love can be found online, but I know a hundred stories of people getting hurt for every one love story. As a married woman with a husband online, it's worrisome that people who are married in real life to others get "cyber married".

 

[beckbabe]

Ever try to make a point and forget to say...CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Another thing I haven't seen any one bring up yet. It goes to show that sex is not a must need thing for a reltionship to work.

Physical sex may not be absolutely necessary for every love relationship, but for most it is the biological imperative - the underlying reason lovers get together in the first place.

I don't want to seem to over analytical here, but if I am going to have a loving relationship with a woman, it is going to involve physical sex.

Face it, that is the main reason most lovers, straight, bi, or gay, get together - and for some it is the only reason - although not for me; I want someone whom I can respect, love, get along with, share life with (the ups and downs) and who wants the same from me.

I have been thinking about this lately, and I was going to start a thread on it, but this is as good a place as any: I was wondering what I (and others) were here for?

Usually I get to know someone before I ask them out; I want to know their religious, political, philisophical views, and more - I want to get a feel for their personality before I even ask them for a date. Doesn't make for very many dates, but I usually enjoy them.

Anyway, if we like each other then it might develop into a relationship, but I usually only have sex after I have developed strong feelings for them. Sometimes we are not compatible sexually - there are a lot of people out there that have very strong sexual inhibitions, such that they are totally passive and just endure sex, or at best are fairly passive. I want an lover that is comfortable with her sexuality and is not passive. Since I am a sexual person, sex is important to me and since it is one of the primary reasons for a relationship with a lover, it is best if the sex is good, preferably great - it makes me happier (and hopefully my lover is happy too), and happy lovers makes for a better relationship.

So, I was thinking that maybe it would be better if people did it the other way around; find people that they would be sexually compatible with, then get to know them better and if they like each other then form a relationship. Without a lot of casual sex, which can be risky in many ways, a somewhat anonymous meeting ground where people can feel freer to talk about their sexuality, their sexual needs and desires, can be a very good thing to have. If nothing else I have learned a few things about various people's desires on this board - and I have only been here a few days.

This might save a lot of time and a lot of hurt feelings. I think a significant percentage of relationships fail, at least in part, due to sexual imcompatibility.

What do you guys/gals think?

You get to know the person well, and that makes it even more special when you finaly met in person.

It is certainly better that you get to know a person well before you get involved with them. Some time spent in public and private correspondence, sharing views, personal history, needs, likes and dislikes would maybe build a better foundation for a relationship than the often superficial knowledge you usually get after you go out on several dates with someone.

STG

 

[Guest]

 

[SexyChele]

I agree with Mistress Honey and SG - you can definitely meet people on line and feel an "attraction", maybe even something stronger. But until you meet in person, there is always a trust issue. Anyone can be whoever they want to be on line, it's harder to hold up that image in person.

And I am totally in agreement with beckbabe. I've known a few people who have met on line - even married. But I know far, far more people who would have sworn they were in love, only to have their hearts ripped out. I think the later happens with far more frequency than most are willing to admit.

But that's only my .02 worth...

 

[april-wine]

i think it has everything to do with openess and honesty....finding that one who will be honest, is the tricky part....i know i have loved, been in love....keeping it all in perspective, relizing the object of your affection is not perfect, will only help when moving to the real world....

 

[Simply Me]

I guess unless you have experienced it, it is hard to understand. Before coming to this computer world, I laughed at people who had online relationships, I thought how sad their life must be to have to resort to this. Since then, my opinion has changed. Dragon and I started out as friends, simply talking with one another, giving and getting support for various things going on in our lives. We developed a close friendship, and from there, our feelings started changing. I knew him better than I would have known someone that I was seeing who lived in my town. I guess because of the barrier of the screen, you are able to be more open about things, about who you are, and what you want in life.
I was in love with Dragon before ever meeting him. I met his heart and soul in here. We were lucky in that we were both honest with one another. We talked on the phone frequently.
Having met him in real life now, I love him just as much as I did before we met. The only difference now, is that I can touch him, see him smile, see him look at me. But he is the same person he was on here..

 

[Latina]

I don't know about Internet, but Frank and I met by phone, talked nightly for weeks, before meeting in person. We knew a lot about each other before we met. Our second date, we felt such an attraction that we got into VERY serious kissing. By our third date, I think we knew it was love, and that led to sex on our fourth date. So I think the love may have started BEFORE we met in person. I suppose the same could happen meeting via the web.

-- Latina

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Men's cocks are like snowflakes: no two are exactly alike, they are all beautiful, and it's fun to catch one on your tongue.

 

[*Lazer*]

You guys crack me right up. Siren and Wolfy are two people who met on this bb and married and are very happy. That alone should prove that online love is not only possible but stands the test of time. As far as getting to know each other with the advent of video cams etc. it has allowed people to become closer and share their everyday lives with each other. Before the internet there were letters. People got to know each other and became friends and even married based on what they knew from the written word. At the very least you know if they can read and write

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

You guys crack me right up. Siren and Wolfy are two people who met on this bb and married and are very happy. That alone should prove that online love is not only possible but stands the test of time. As far as getting to know each other with the advent of video cams etc. it has allowed people to become closer and share their everyday lives with each other. Before the internet there were letters. People got to know each other and became friends and even married based on what they knew from the written word. At the very least you know if they can read and write

I think most people in this thread do not deny the possiblility of online love, but are debate the ease, the success rate, and whether a person could be in love without physically meeting someone.

STG

 

[Orlanth]

Hey *Lazer* read the posts will you. I have used Siren and woofy as an example of online love.

 

[Vivid Blossom]

I guess unless you have experienced it, it is hard to understand. Before coming to this computer world, I laughed at people who had online relationships, I thought how sad their life must be to have to resort to this. Since then, my opinion has changed. Dragon and I started out as friends, simply talking with one another, giving and getting support for various things going on in our lives. We developed a close friendship, and from there, our feelings started changing. I knew him better than I would have known someone that I was seeing who lived in my town. I guess because of the barrier of the screen, you are able to be more open about things, about who you are, and what you want in life.
I was in love with Dragon before ever meeting him. I met his heart and soul in here. We were lucky in that we were both honest with one another. We talked on the phone frequently.
Having met him in real life now, I love him just as much as I did before we met. The only difference now, is that I can touch him, see him smile, see him look at me. But he is the same person he was on here..

I totally agree with you Simply. Darien and I were friends first -- I was even involved with someone else. But I fell in love with his kindness, his sense of humor, his wisdom, all those things. And yes -- honesty is essential. When we met in real life and I walked into his arms it was the most natural thing in the world. We are still together -- even though we live apart -- we keep in touch by phone and by e-mail and through posts.

But also - as he posted earlier -- there are different kinds of love and you can also love more than one person whom you met online. I also have friends I have met online whom I love like sisters, like children, as dear life-long friends. Some I have met, some I have not yet -- but I know when we meet it will also be like I have known them forever.

And Congratulations Bubble. Hugggggggggles.