Online D/S

[Leliana]

Good evening everyone,

I would like to know what is your take on online D/S relationships.

I have had many discussions with Dominants, some of them looking for an online relation but have to admit I don't understand how it can really work. Don't you need to share more than words with a lover, to feel his touch, to just be with him completely?

Leliana

 

[Bandit58]

Hi Leliana
Here's an interesting discussion to get you started:

Online and Real Life BDSM

 

[mellian]

it is not real, and to easy for a sub to get away with things, even with a webcam and mikes on...

-mellian

 

[Liana26]

I'm too paranoid for online D/s. The whole time I'd be thinking that the guy I'm talking to is probably a thirteen year old that'll cum at the sight of a bra strap.

 

[SweetDommes]

It's not for everyone, it's not for us ... but it does work well as an intro for some, and some people like to keep it there - and it is as real as those involved make it, just like skin to skin interactions.

 

[lindiana]

So true!

it is not real, and to easy for a sub to get away with things, even with a webcam and mikes on...

-mellian

Points at herself.

 

[lindiana]

So true!

I'm too paranoid for online D/s. The whole time I'd be thinking that the guy I'm talking to is probably a thirteen year old that'll cum at the sight of a bra strap.

Again, points at herself.

 

[bdsmToy]

Hi Leliana
Here's an interesting discussion to get you started:

Online and Real Life BDSM

rite on

 

[Singularity]

For Some, It Works Well

I have a D/s relationship that is exclusively online lasting for more than three years now. It takes more work, and definitely more trust, as well as a knack for communicating the nuances of sensations and emotions with words. I think those who are word and book-image oriented can make it work for them.

If you are a very visual person and one for whom the hands-on touch is essential; then nope, no joy.

And the ability to be able to inflict some pain and punishment on yourself is a clear must for the sub, too.

But with the right person and the right chemistry, it can be quite liberating and wonderful.


Sin.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: For Some, It Works Well

I have a D/s relationship that is exclusively online lasting for more than three years now. It takes more work, and definitely more trust, as well as a knack for communicating the nuances of sensations and emotions with words. I think those who are word and book-image oriented can make it work for them. ...

Sin.

If an online relationship works for you, more power to ya. But be warned, that admission will not garner you a lot of credibility with many posters here. It's unfortunate, but it's true.

Personally, I think that whatever gets someone's rocks off is their business. If it works for you... go with it.

 

[Marquis]

Here is an excellent thread on the topic of online BDSM:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=306061

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: For Some, It Works Well

I have a D/s relationship that is exclusively online lasting for more than three years now. It takes more work, and definitely more trust, as well as a knack for communicating the nuances of sensations and emotions with words. I think those who are word and book-image oriented can make it work for them.

If you are a very visual person and one for whom the hands-on touch is essential; then nope, no joy.

And the ability to be able to inflict some pain and punishment on yourself is a clear must for the sub, too.

But with the right person and the right chemistry, it can be quite liberating and wonderful.


Sin.

Glad to hear someone found success. We usually only hear the poo-poo from the doubters, or the disasters. Hat's off to you, and best of luck in the future.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Re: Re: For Some, It Works Well

online D/s: it's a no-go.

I concur.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: Re: Re: For Some, It Works Well

I concur.

Nice creative editing. Care to quote the entire piece?

 

[rosco rathbone]

Re: Re: Re: Re: For Some, It Works Well

Nice creative editing. Care to quote the entire piece?

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: For Some, It Works Well

Nice try though

Love your website by the way.

Click me for a search with the word online.

 

[graceful]

The only comment I can make, it that they did help me become more informed in the beginning, but as time passed, I realized that they were mostly just fantasy.

 

[babiesmiles]

Just a little thought here

What against fantasy, graceful ?
In my opinion fantasy is a great resource to feed the mind and the soul !

I'm not a fan of online relations , but if a thing works ( and if it lasts for 3 years it seems to work for sin ) I'm happy for people who are able to do it and enjoy it . Everyone is made in a different way on earth and that is "the good" of human beings ... it would be extremely boring to live if everyone was made the same way ! I dont believe in absolute truths

 

[blackwatch1881]

this is just from experience of those Ive spoken to, I'm not saying this goes for all... just my little nugget of experience...

I befriended a sub n she was a purely online girl, but that was purely because she was married, so she couldnt be marked. So the only option she had was to keep it all online, but that was enough for her and it made her happy. So i supose it making her happy is a good thing, but its just the married thing that bothered me a little because her hubby didnt know.

But saying that, I also met a Dom who was purely online because he was married n his wife knew n it brought them closer.

My personal preferance has to be skin to skin though, theres just some of the heavy/extreme pain that I just couldnt do myself, n its just not the same

 

[jdmct]

online d/s

Bravo Babiesmiles!!
Fantasy is essential to fulfillment.
The biggest sex organ in your body is your brain.

 

[jdmct]

online D/S

Both parties can make it work if they want to badly enough

 

[MintSoda]

I've been interested in an online D/S relationship since I was first introduced to the idea by a wonderful Mistress years ago. Online play allows me to explore the possibilities of my bi side and D/S fantasies without ruining my real life relationship. Let's face it, if you don't really know for certain it's a lifestyle you want to live then going into it with a real life relationship can be a very good way to end up single and marked.

My actual problem has been finding an online Mistress worth anything. Since my first one I've managed one or two little gems, but for the most part dominant women online are few and far between. I've actually sort of been working with a friend in developing a dominant role for her, but I'm not sure it's something she will actually take to and enjoy.

BDSM incorporates so much it's hard to find a perfect match and with my specific tastes maybe I'm being unrealistic in being able to find an online mistress.

 

[shy slave]

I have a D/s relationship that is exclusively online lasting for more than three years now. It takes more work, and definitely more trust, as well as a knack for communicating the nuances of sensations and emotions with words. I think those who are word and book-image oriented can make it work for them.

If you are a very visual person and one for whom the hands-on touch is essential; then nope, no joy.

And the ability to be able to inflict some pain and punishment on yourself is a clear must for the sub, too.

But with the right person and the right chemistry, it can be quite liberating and wonderful.


Sin.

I am glad it has worked out for you Sin.
ADR makes the point that it may not gain you credibility here but i am not so sure that is true.
There are people on Lit in online relationships who are considered to be more than credible.
I had a Dom from Lit and our relationship was completely online. Like graceful it gave me a starting point. I cared a great deal for him and he gave me the courage to look for someone in r/t.
Leliana if you decide to go online remember its like any relationship -communication is the key. If you need a lovers touch then it may be a place to try but not stay. If you can imagine the feel of their hand and revel in it then, like Sin, it could be perfect.
Whatever you decide there will be doubters so at ADR said If it works for you... go with it.

 

[Singularity]

I'd Like To Say Thank You

to those who supported the idea that an onine D/s relationship can be "real" in its own way and have lasting value and meaning.

I had originally drafted a reply saying something to the effect that those who only see skin-on-skin as being the only credible alternative were the ones who were self-limiting, but I'm glad I never posted it. It was composed with a bit of peevishness, but it doesn't matter as much to me now.

I like to blend and combine both in-person and online relationships, and I find each emphasizes different aspects and dimensions of a relationship. So, to me, there is no one way to skin the cat. I'm an omnivore and happy wandering back and forth across the dividing line.

So, thank you again.


Sin.

 

[A Desert Rose]

I am glad it has worked out for you Sin.
ADR makes the point that it may not gain you credibility here but i am not so sure that is true.
There are people on Lit in online relationships who are considered to be more than credible.
I had a Dom from Lit and our relationship was completely online. Like graceful it gave me a starting point. I cared a great deal for him and he gave me the courage to look for someone in r/t.
Leliana if you decide to go online remember its like any relationship -communication is the key. If you need a lovers touch then it may be a place to try but not stay. If you can imagine the feel of their hand and revel in it then, like Sin, it could be perfect.
Whatever you decide there will be doubters so at ADR said If it works for you... go with it.

Yes there are a lot of people who have posted here in online relationships and many of them no longer do or do so in a very limited manner. That alone speaks to the condescension. Readers may also take note of the 2 posters who followed me - up there - and their comments on online relationships. And of course we have a half dozen threads that touch on this topic and there is a great deal of deriesion in them for those who are involved in online relationships.

Call my comments a lie if you want. I think there is plenty of evidence here that online relationships are not found to be credible by a great many.

And you know what? I still don't care. People do what they do for a myriad of reasons. My experiences are nothing like Leliana, nor her's like mine. If this is what pleasures her and her partner(s), then I couldn't be happier for her.