Once Upon a Time.....

[JMohegan]

Inside every grown man is a 6 year old boy trying to escape

That's just what the woman next door said.

I would have objected..... but then I remembered that she also watched me practicing in the backyard to be Robin Hood for a different costume party, several years ago.

As for the damn salty pond, you struck lucky with that one. But if I ever get the chance to visit I will make sure it is THAT week, then we can carry on discussing it (But you have to put that bull whip down first!!)

Come on over any time. Bring the Viking, and I'll be sure to hand him the bullwhip for safekeeping before we have our chat.

 

[shy slave]

Is giving it to another Dom your idea of 'safe keeping' for a bull whip?

 

[shy slave]

I have a problem with speeding.

I like to do it, everything about it is wonderful.

I was banned from driving for six months because of continual speeding.

I have always thought if I were stopped by the police (again) I would offer him sex and hope he would not ticket me.

Knowing my sense of humour, the scenario below seems much more likely!


Speeding

While I was driving down the M4 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the
other side with a radar gun laying in wait.
The copper pulled me over,walked up to the car, and with that classic
patronising smirk, asked:

"Runway too short?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And
just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to
two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."

Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?"

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Speeding ticket: £105.00
Court costs: £45
Look on copper's face: Priceless

 

[FurryFury]

LMFAO!

You are such a delight Shy Slave!!!





I can empathize as I have this nearly uncontrollable urge to offer to suck an officer's dick when he stops me. I love to speed too, as long as the kids are not in the car. I rarely get tickets for some strange reason. Warnings are more likely. *sighs*

Fury

 

[Shankara20]

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to
two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about......

oh my!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[shy slave]

LMFAO!

You are such a delight Shy Slave!!!





I can empathize as I have this nearly uncontrollable urge to offer to suck an officer's dick when he stops me. I love to speed too, as long as the kids are not in the car. I rarely get tickets for some strange reason. Warnings are more likely. *sighs*

Fury

Thanks FF

I have only been stopped twice and it was years ago.

In the UK we have sped cameras, nasty evil boxes on the top of high poles, they lay in wait for innocent people, snap a pic of your license plate and within a few days a letter appears on the door mat asking for money and your license...bastards

I would offer to fuck the speed camera if I thought it would work but I think I would end up arrested on strange charges such as 'sex in public with an inanimate object.'
Although I had sex with my first husband outdoors once, I could have been arrested on the same charges then as well!!

 

[shy slave]

oh my!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL

Have you gone for a lay down Shank??

 

[Shankara20]

LOL

Have you gone for a lay down Shank??

I may just go in the back yard with one of my "big" toys and have 'sex in public with an inanimate object.' after reading that post. My bum is very hungry all of a sudden....

 

[shy slave]

I may just go in the back yard with one of my "big" toys and have 'sex in public with an inanimate object.' after reading that post. My bum is very hungry all of a sudden....

Enjoy yourself

 

[Shankara20]

Enjoy yourself

or I may just go watch some TV....





.....

 

[shy slave]

or I may just go watch some TV....





.....

WHAT!!!

TV instead of playing!

I am shocked, you should go and play like the rest of us perverts.

There, now look what you have done, you have brought out my Domme side

*sigh*

 

[Shankara20]

WHAT!!!

TV instead of playing!

I am shocked, you should go and play like the rest of us perverts.

There, now look what you have done, you have brought out my Domme side

*sigh*

Yes Ma'am!




now look, my sub has surfaced....

 

[shy slave]

Yes Ma'am!




now look, my sub has surfaced....

lol

 

[FurryFury]

Thanks FF

I have only been stopped twice and it was years ago.

In the UK we have sped cameras, nasty evil boxes on the top of high poles, they lay in wait for innocent people, snap a pic of your license plate and within a few days a letter appears on the door mat asking for money and your license...bastards

I would offer to fuck the speed camera if I thought it would work but I think I would end up arrested on strange charges such as 'sex in public with an inanimate object.'
Although I had sex with my first husband outdoors once, I could have been arrested on the same charges then as well!!

That truly sux!

But sex in the outdoors?

*purrrrrrr*

Fury

 

[shy slave]

I have been making some changes to my lifestyle since having that fitness check.

So far I have been to the gym every week, I had thought it would be more than once a week but I am too caught up in study/work/sleep to manage more than once at the moment.

I am now taking danish lessons. I am a long way off from being able to hold even the most basic of conversations but I have made a start and there are only two students in the class so the teacher can spend plenty of time helping us individually.

Finally I am cutting down on my choc habit. Knowing I have 41% body fat has made a mental difference to my will power to control the cravings. That said, I get very real cravings which are difficult to manage. I have never smoked cigarettes so I don't know how it compares but I am aware of very specific times that I need chocolate and other times when I simply want it.
The 'need' time is the hardest point. I gave up choc in 1998 for a year but gradually started back eating it again. This time it is harder than I remember it being.

My solution to the 'need' is to buy choc I don't like. I know that sounds mad, but if I buy the type I like, I just want/need more.
If I buy the one I don't like, I get the 'hit' I crave but I am not tempted to eat more than it takes to take the edge off.

Of course it may happen that my taste buds will adjust and I will end up loving choc I previously disliked. *sigh*

But I am at least making an effort, and all for him

What is funny is if a friend had told me years ago about the lengths she was going to for a man I would have told her off and said she needed to find a new man!!

How things change

LOL

 

[shy slave]

Well I have managed to go to the gym every week except last week, when life was too hectic to actually fit everything in.

I am staying off the chocolate, it has been days since I last had some, and just a few minutes since I last thought of some lol

I sound like I have been good, but actually life has been too busy to get caught up in pleasure things.

It isn't easy for me to say I have been going to the gym when there is no/or little physical evidence to support my claim.

He knows I have no wish to be disrespectful, but he equally knows how hard it is for me to go and do something I have spent a lifetime avoiding.

Perhaps I will just give him lots of wild monkey sex to keep his mind focused elsewhere

JM's thread on ceding control has really helped to remind me that Andante does not ask for small non-issues to be obeyed and therefore when he does want something to happen I should do it.

I am learning Danish three hours a week and during class it makes sense. Then I hear it spoken and suddenly my brain goes numb and I can't think of any words!!

My new sentence is

'I can't speak danish' lol

My teacher is not impressed, he says I can do it I just need time and practice.

I seem to be surrounded by Doms *sigh*

 

[shy slave]

I will be in Denmark for a whole week from Monday, and of course I am really looking forward to it (I hate that dancing nana, so imagine it is here lol).

I plan to keep the fairies quiet with threats of the exercise bike if they encourage me to say dumb things.

But they have already been whispering in my ear.....

I have found some red high heels in my size and I have some red lace knickers to go with them , so of course they are packed ready to go with me

This started the fairies off about what else I needed to take with me...

The bad fairy (who is not really bad just full of ideas that sometimes have consequences) said I should ask him if there was anything specific I needed to take with me on this trip.
I admit it is not like the bad fairy to be so very thoughtful, but it is a good idea; so I asked him.
He said 'No, not really' he also asked if I had anything specific in mind.

Well, what else could I say but 'No, nothing; I just wanted to be sure'

His voice sounded a little suspicious but he never said anything else.

It turns out the good fairy thinks I should take my gym things with me in case there is an opportunity to use them.

She had told the bad fairy about the idea.

The bad fairy thinks it is down to him to remember or to think about telling me to take these things out there (after all he is charge).
That's why she encouraged me to check with him about anything I should take with me
If he doesn't ask me to, then I am being very good and following his non-orders!!

Now what do I do???

Not take them and end up in trouble because I could have taken them, or take them and offend him because he is the person in control of me.

Problems, problems, problems.

Sometimes this slave things aint easy

 

[Shankara20]

I seem to be surrounded by Doms *sigh*

care for some chocolate little girl?





hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee

 

[shy slave]

care for some chocolate little girl?





hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee

Yes, yes, yes

*cries*

I will swop you red panties for a smalll piece of chocolate (not hersheys though!).

Oh, I can't swop you those panties, they are to wear with the red shoes

*cries even more*

Shank you are a mean, mean man.

 

[shy slave]

care for some chocolate little girl?





hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee

What a shame I am too old to be lured into dirty old mens car with the promise of chocolate

LOL

 

[Shankara20]

What a shame I am too old to be lured into dirty old mens car with the promise of chocolate

LOL

darn.....


*sigh*

 

[shy slave]

darn.....


*sigh*

 

[chris9]

Shy, it sounds as if you are doing very well and you can be very proud of yourself.

A little advice/experience with learning languages, I hope you don't mind: When I started learning Italian, I took classes two hours a week in one go. I did learn the grammar and much of the words, could read it fairly well, understand it a bit, but not speak one sentence. One word, fine. But trying to build a whole sentence, with the right words, the right grammar, everything, was impossible. The sentence would be perfect in my head, but always refused to come out. Then I went to Florence for a month to attend a language school. I didn't know anybody. In my class all the other students could talk, understand, everything. I couldn't. The first week was just awful. Then something in my head clicked. After the weekend on which I talked almost nothing in Italian I started speaking, not caring anymore if it came out right or with mistakes. From then on all was well.
I never really managed to talk Italian to someone I could talk German to, so in your case I suppose Andante is not really the best person to talk to. But maybe you can do an intensive course in Denmark with a group of people who refuse to talk English to you. If you know some of the grammar and words until then -which you are learning in your class- you'll manage to get the speaking going eventually.

 

[ShyGuy68]

I will be in Denmark for a whole week from Monday, and of course I am really looking forward to it (I hate that dancing nana, so imagine it is here lol).

To bad you won't be in my area!!!

 

[snowy ciara]

Dearest Shy,

I would suggest taking the gym clothes anyway. Because Andante seems reasonable (except for his anti-cookie stance), and it seems to better to be prepared for anything than be found lacking.

P.S. Who stretched out this thread so far to the right? The rest of them are doing okay.