On a mission...

[WrongFrog]

To write the most ridiculously trope heavy spoof I can manage. I'm humbly coming before the AH masters of absurdity to help me add to my list:

Werewolves (complete with spoiled alphaholes)
Cinderella story
Completely neglected/abused but somehow insanely sexy heroine
Not Like Other Orphan Girls
Suspiciously Dubious Consent
Teacher Student (that sneer looks familiar...)
Bullies everywhere!
Billionaire with entitled attitude
Sweet naive Innocent who fucks like a pornstar somehow
Tortured Vampire Hero
Super Special Secret Power Reveal


So far I can check the following sex scenarios off my list, but I'm open to more suggestions!

Degradation/humiliation with bonus foot fetish
Awkward spanking scenario (but she likes it of course)
Phone a friend, please Regis.
That does not go there (please use flared bases, folks) and other serious Health Department violations in kitchens.
Bad BDSM roleplaying
Lesbian encounter (lady's maid style)
That's not what a spin cycle is for
It's too big! Complete with unrealistic measurements
I'm so grateful you rescued me! I'm on my knees in gratitude!

To Be Added:
Ejaculations Of Unusual Size* (Lumiere)
Wait, aren't they mortal enemies? WHY ARE THEY KISSING???* (Priscilla)

I'm deeply invested in making this a wholly unhinged and farcical romp. For... Science. Yes, we'll go ahead and blame science. Please contribute to this very important research!

 

[TheLobster]

I find your lack of mom on son's lap disturbing.

 

[WrongFrog]

I find your lack of mom on son's lap disturbing.

I simply can't do incest, even as satire. Besides, she's an orphan!

 

[Lumiere_Amie]

Copious amounts of cum - Help me, I'm drowning!

 

[Priscilla_June]

Weird love triangle where the guys are an easier ship than with the girl!

Idk if that is a trope, I’m bad at this

 

[Boobytrap73]

Virgin has amazing sex and climaxes her first time.

~BT73

 

[TheLobster]

Characters need money and somehow the only way to get is to make a porno.

 

[WrongFrog]

Characters need money and somehow the only way to get is to make a porno.

Have you listened to "My Dad Wrote A Porno?" It's delightfully funny.

 

[WrongFrog]

Weird love triangle where the guys are an easier ship than with the girl!

Idk if that is a trope, I’m bad at this

That would be so funny.

 

[Agent0069]

A guy washes, shaves, applies make-up, and suddenly looks indistinguishable from the females to the point of other straight guys wanting to have sex with him.

 

[ElectricBlue]

The problem with this as a spoof, is that it's probably already been written a hundred time and the authors have thought it was serious. Have you checked the Top Lists?

 

[SimonDoom]

I find your lack of mom on son's lap disturbing.

I agree. Without that, it seems very amateur-hour to me. Like one isn't really trying.

 

[M_K_Babalon]

I simply can't do incest, even as satire. Besides, she's an orphan!

Ah, so you're a yankee, huh‽

 

[WrongFrog]

Ah, so you're a yankee, huh‽

*Hangs head in Shame*

Only half! My real daddy was a true Mississippi Mud Pie!

 

[NoTalentHack]

Daddy issues with no underlying trauma
No-lube anal without problems
“Is it okay if my two 18 year old girlfriends join in?”

 

[WrongFrog]

The problem with this as a spoof, is that it's probably already been written a hundred time and the authors have thought it was serious. Have you checked the Top Lists?

And Amazon, Dreame, Wattpad, AO3.....

Have some sympathy for the blind, lame old nag, here. I'm just trying to amuse myself and others while the glue truck rumbles up the drive.

 

[WrongFrog]

No-lube anal without problems

Oh shoot, I already raided the butter dish...

 

[TarnishedPenny]

I find your lack of mom on son's lap disturbing.

Satisfying, but disturbing. It’s like the sun rising in the west or politicians apologizing for having lied.

 

[lovecraft68]

The infamous "sticky ropes of semen" I read here. The popularity of that author makes one wonder if its really a parody here.

 

[lovecraft68]

And Amazon, Dreame, Wattpad, AO3.....

Have some sympathy for the blind, lame old nag, here. I'm just trying to amuse myself and others while the glue truck rumbles up the drive.

EB is bitter. Anything he takes shots at is due to his jealousy of not having attained it, so therefore he needs to denigrate it.

 

[lovecraft68]

Virgin has amazing sex and climaxes her first time.

~BT73

All while fucking like a pro porn star including deep throating a 10" cock even though she's never given head before.

 

[lovecraft68]

I find your lack of mom on son's lap disturbing.

I applaud it. Dipping a bit into Simon's interest in how far we can suspend disbelief, I enjoy writing/reading taboo stories, but find the mom/son lap thing lame and eye rolling.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

I'm humbly coming before the AH masters of absurdity to help me add to my list:

... and then he woke up.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Male and female Just Roommates, Really! Until the inevitable happens.

Of course, there’s the outta-the-stadium favourite, the tall, amazingly handsome, well-hung but super-shy billionaire who rescues the starving D-cup maiden (preferably when her bicycle breaks down during an unseasonal blizzard) and gets coaxed into sharing the last bed in the hotel. (Sorry, pardon me while I go get a breath of some fresher air.)

 

[Rob_Royale]

Sounds like the Kentucky Fried Movie of erotica.