Old vs New BDSM

[quietwillow]

Some folks like to follow the "Old Order" complete with protocol and leather standards (earning a leather, not talking to someone's sub without asking the Dom first, etc.

Others prefer to follow the new ways which are not as strict as the old ways.

Which do you prefer and why?

What parts of the old have you incorporated into your way of BDSM?

quiet

 

[artful]

Some folks like to follow the "Old Order" complete with protocol and leather standards (earning a leather, not talking to someone's sub without asking the Dom first, etc.

Others prefer to follow the new ways which are not as strict as the old ways.

Which do you prefer and why?

What parts of the old have you incorporated into your way of BDSM?

quiet

Respectfully,...though I have had D/s relationships for many years. I have no idea of what the differences ARE between the old and new. I will however be following this thread,...and hopefully learn more.

ALL my experience has been one on one,...and I developed the relationships with WHAT we both needed,...not according to GROUP perceptions of what it SHOULD be.

 

[Lancecastor]

When in Rome....

....do as the Romans.

Take a place like The Bovine Sex Club, which is around the corner from where I lived in Toronto.

Some nights, the room would be filled with Old Guard types, so you addressed women thru their Dom, which coulde gettest tiring, my leige.

Some nights there'd be a public scene in play and you'd either watch or participate.

Tourist nights (weekends) the suburbanites would be there pretending, and they'd consider guys like me as Old Guard.

In private....that depends on who I'm with.

I do like formality now and then, but generally I'm fairly spontaneous and fun-loving.

Cheers;
Lance

 

[Ebonyfire]

What parts of the old have you incorporated into your way of BDSM?

I am as strict as I need to be to accomplish what needs to be done with the submissive at hand.

When faced with a plethora of information, I choose what is best for Me and mine.

For example, I like the use of rituals. I find that rituals reinforce and comfort my subs.

Eb

 

[Daddyslilpet]

Honestly, I would have to guess that my flavor of BDSM is more new than that of the old style. We are not into a bunch of rituals and such in a formal way.

Actually, as Art said above, I'm not sure I know what the differences really are. We do what works for us, and I suppose that's really all that matters in the grand scheme of things.

Great thread quiet, thank you.
~smile~
dixi

 

[lilredwolph]

i have thought about this for awhile now and i have decided that i am from the old order, i guess 20+ years can do that to a person.

when in public:
i do not speak unless spoken to
male dom's do not speak directly to me
female doms do not speak to me directly or indirectly (this is my doms doing)
i do not look doms in the eyes unless the situation calls for it and even than i get permission from my dom to do so
i walk 3 steps behind my dom on his left side at all times (unless directed not to)
i do not order food for myself
if in a bar/club i do not order drinks
i go nowhere alone except for the ladies room

the list goes on and on and on...

but that was then (a week ago) and this is now (i am now Domless).

but i know that my lack of posting here is due to my "old guard" standards that i hold within myself, for myself.

now that i am on my own i am not sure how or what i'll be, i have been thinking about stepping out of the lifestyle because i know it will be very hard for me to find a Dom that can except my standards for myself or for them

 

[Grvdigger]

Each needs to find thier own way. What is right for Me is not for another. As long as I have respect for them and what they do then they should have it for Me. As for what I like....I am a mix. I like most structure from the old ways...but once I have come to know a sub and thier Dom/me...I like to be able to talk to them freely.

 

[Ebonyfire]

i have thought about this for awhile now and i have decided that i am from the old order, i guess 20+ years can do that to a person.

when in public:
i do not speak unless spoken to
male dom's do not speak directly to me
female doms do not speak to me directly or indirectly (this is my doms doing)
i do not look doms in the eyes unless the situation calls for it and even than i get permission from my dom to do so
i walk 3 steps behind my dom on his left side at all times (unless directed not to)
i do not order food for myself
if in a bar/club i do not order drinks
i go nowhere alone except for the ladies room

the list goes on and on and on...

but that was then (a week ago) and this is now (i am now Domless).

but i know that my lack of posting here is due to my "old guard" standards that i hold within myself, for myself.

now that i am on my own i am not sure how or what i'll be, i have been thinking about stepping out of the lifestyle because i know it will be very hard for me to find a Dom that can except my standards for myself or for them

I think there is room for "all" ways. I am sad to hear about your situation. I hope things go well for you. There are plenty of "old guard" Doms out there, I am sure.

Ebony

 

[lilredwolph]

thank you Eb!

my problem is i have spent so much time (10 yrs) under what's his name that i don't know if i know how to be anything other than "his".

maybe i'll get myself a little prissy boy and be a whole new me

p.s. i have it boxed and ready i just have to get my butt to the post office

 

[Ebonyfire]

I am a waiting

Get a man biscuit instead, they last longer!


You will get back into the swing of things.

Eb

thank you Eb!

my problem is i have spent so much time (10 yrs) under what's his name that i don't know if i know how to be anything other than "his".

maybe i'll get myself a little prissy boy and be a whole new me

p.s. i have it boxed and ready i just have to get my butt to the post office