Old News

[Calamity Jane]

What's a girl to do when she's fucked up... she knows she fucked up... she said her apologies... paid her dues... and didn't repeat the behavior. But the behavior gets thrown in her face over and over again, even years later?

Gods, I know I'm not perfect. I know I'm pretty fuckin far from perfect. But I try. And usually I'm a pretty good person. But just ONE little slip. One instance of desiring privacy in conversation, and suddenly all my past fuckups are fair game. I'm talking shit that happened 5+ years ago.

Is this remotely fair? Am I the one who's irrational? I'm going crazy with never knowing what one little thing I say is going to open that nasty little vault of past indiscretions that my husband has stored away...

ARRRGHHHHH!!!!

/rant

 

[Ice Cold]

Sounds like a fair enough rant. No one is perfect, and no one should expect another person to be, we all make mistakes. Most of us learn how to correct them. Soemtimes things happen plain and simple. People try to move past them. The problem is when someone else doesn't let them. It sounds like a case of being forgiven, but the act not being forgotten... and that's very hard to live with. Best of luck.

 

[patient1]

No. It's not fair.

Not when your mom does it.

Not when your spouse does it.

Not when you do it.

It's a barrier to intimacy & trust if you can't let the past stay in the past. If punishment / pennance have been done, then what's done is done & should remain that way.

Sure, it's natural not to trust somebody that's made a mistake,
just as it's natural not to trust somebody who brings it up again after they've agreed it's over.

Not much help, was it?

 

[Calamity Jane]

No. It's not fair.

Not when your mom does it.

Not when your spouse does it.

Not when you do it.

It's a barrier to intimacy & trust if you can't let the past stay in the past. If punishment / pennance have been done, then what's done is done & should remain that way.

Sure, it's natural not to trust somebody that's made a mistake,
just as it's natural not to trust somebody who brings it up again after they've agreed it's over.

Not much help, was it?

You're so right P1... that's exactly my problem. I don't feel I can trust him with my 'self' if that self is seen as so imperfect and unfogiveable... *sigh*

Just a rant with no answers i suppose. Thanks for your input though my friend.