OK! Here it goes- and I don't know what will happen to me!

[riff]

For the first time in 20 years I have gone 24 hours without nicotine! SHIT! Maybe I will actually succeed in quitting! There is hope! If I did it yesterday, then what stops me from doing it today?

I had set my quit day for Monday, I wore the patch (been taking Zyban). Tuesday I did not wear the patch. Got nervous, bought a pack. Wednesday night I went out, spent way to much money and smoked my ass off. Barely slept a wink.

Thursday morning- a day of reckoning...

i am smoking and surfing the net, feeling some guilt, feeling like a failure because i didn't quit smoking and don't really want to quit.

I light up and inhale. And I gagged. I gagged so hard that I ran the the bathroom and puked. I became filled with anger. I went to my desk, determined to throw the goddamned shit away. When I picked up the ashtray and smelled the ashes, I gagged again. This time I dumped the ashes and butt and crumpled cigarettes into the toilet. And I wretched and dry heaved over commode, looking at those fucking butts and tobacco leaves floating in the water and all I could think was "Hate you i hate you i hate you"

So much anger- i feel violated, raped... if tobacco had a face, i'd smash the teeth in with a nice lead pipe then beat the rest to a bloody fucking mess.. that kind of anger. It's is truly poison.

The insanity is that you crave again. you wanna smoke again.

all day yesterday and this morning when I felt a craving I recalled the pathetic image of myself wretching over the toilet- totally humiliated by addiction- and I got the anger- and I ain't gonna suck the devil's dick no more.

I am no better off than a crackhead or heroin junkie and cigarettes will kill you just as dead. Only it takes a little longer so your loved ones get to watch you suffer and die slowly.

Some of you smoke. Some of you smoke just a little, like drinking or something, and it's not so much a habit as an indulgence. I smoked a pack, occasionally 2, a day- and I have tried to quit at least once a year for the last five years. Honestly, I never made it a day without some form of nicotine. But I finally made it 24 hours. I am gonna win. fuck tobacco.

 

[Ambrosious]

Go read "The Runaway Jury". That made me quit for about 4 hours.

It is an evil, vile, disgusting, expensive, non-healthy habit. The only product that will kill you if you use it EXACTLY AS INTENDED.


I hate it.

<flick flick, puff puff>

There I feel better.

 

[Shylady]

good luck riff

 

[TN_Vixen]

Congratulations

on the 24 hrs. I've honestly never tried to quit. I've been smoking since I was 18 and now, at 34 I still smoke about a pack a day, more when I drink.

There are rare times when a cigarette makes me gag. I can't touch 'em after I've been out drinking the night before... sometimes for a whole day I won't smoke at all.

I know I need to quit someday soon, but I probably won't before I'm 40.

I wish you luck, Riff, and I hope you get the better of it instead of it continuing to get the better of you.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Good luck Riff.

*kicks Ambrosious* this is a non-smoking flight. Please extinguish *kicks Ambrosious* all smoking materials in the receptacles located *kicks Ambrosious* to your left in the smoking facility provided *kicks Ambrosious* by the airport. Thank you. *kicks Ambrosious* Have a nice flight.


Watch out for that first stewardess, sorry, inflight customer satisfaction engineer, she's a killer.

 

[Nobody Special]

I would say your doing a damn fine job if the cigs can make you puke your doing real good...Your going to win ..and I'm rooting for you..

THE WIFE

 

[Juliangel]

Good luck Riff!!!

I have never smoked so I do not know how hard this isbut will keep my fingers crossed for you.

 

[pandora]

Luck to you Riff

and I'm not going to fly anywhere where KM is around....bet you have on heels too.

 

[Ambrosious]

Re: Luck to you Riff

and I'm not going to fly anywhere where KM is around....bet you have on heels too.

Only in some sick, twisted fantasies I'm currently running.

<ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. >

 

[KillerMuffin]

Re: Re: Luck to you Riff

and I'm not going to fly anywhere where KM is around....bet you have on heels too.

Only in some sick, twisted fantasies I'm currently running.

<ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. ouch, quit it. >

Red patent leather stilleto heels with pointy toes and dinky heels. I can barely stand on them so I have to sit to kick.

I'll quit it if you rub my feet Ambrosious. Promise.

 

[Ambrosious]

HeeeHeee!
Ok.
Sure.
Come on over here.
Poor baby. Take those things off and let Ambrosious make it better.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Awwwww you are such a sweetheart Ambrosious, even after I kicked you like that.

Try not to look up my skirt, I'm not wearing underwear.


Oh yes, Riff, really, we do honestly wish you good luck.

 

[Ambrosious]

Riff? Who's Riff?

Oh, that non smoker. Got it. Good luck Riff!

 

[Matthew D]

Hang in the Riff, it will get alittle easier after the first week, just find something to occuppy you mind when you think you want to light one up.... I know what you are going through!!!

 

[Comshaw]

Riff said:
"The insanity is that you crave again. you wanna smoke again."
And:
"I am no better off than a crackhead or heroin junkie and cigarettes will kill you just as dead. Only it takes a little longer so your loved ones get to watch you suffer and die slowly."

I hate to break the news to you, but you are a lot worse off then a heroin junkie. Research has shown that nicotine is more addictive then heroin by a far sight. Look up the chemical composition of nicotine. There are over 1500 chemicals, including such things as strychnine and cyanide as well as carbon monoxide. Do you know what the only thing, commercially, nicotine has ever been used for? An insecticide.


"Some of you smoke. Some of you smoke just a little, like drinking or something, and it's not so much a habit as an indulgence. I smoked a pack, occasionally 2, a day- and I have tried to quit at least once a year for the last five years. Honestly, I never made it a day without some form of
nicotine. But I finally made it 24 hours. I am gonna win. fuck tobacco."

Before you get the idea that I'm one of those crazy-ass anti-smokers, I smoked for, hummmm, well a few years before I finally was able to put them down. I tried for about 10 years to quit and learned a lot about the dynamics of smoking in that time. The point where I finally decided to quit came one day as I was huffing and puffing up a trail with a 50 LB. backpack on, trying my best to keep up with a group of scouts and failing miserably. Took me six months to quit. Got down below 10 cigarettes a day and varied from four to ten for four or five months. I finally had to either quit, or quit quitting. I haven't had one for a year and a half. It ain't been easy. My co-worker quit and said that after six months the smell of cigarettes offended him and made him sick. I was never so lucky. They still smell heavenly to me! Anyway, keep telling yourself you hate them. If I can do it, as a totally additive type, you can. hang in. It's worth it. I can even keep up with my scout troop now! Give me another year and I'll be running their little butts into the ground.

 

[Ezzy]

Good luck riff...

I am in the down to 10 or 12 a day, mostly down to the support I have been getting from my love.


Without her help and encouragemnet, I dont think I would have the determination to even attempt it.

I have gone down to about a third of my old regular consumption.

I have never been able to keep it going in the past, and regret the addiction to nicotine.


Here's hoping.


EZ http://cgi.tripod.com/smilecwm/cgi-bin/s/cwm2/sleep.gif

 

[riff]

thanks to everyone for support and

i will try not to preach, but I am trying to look at this as a fight for my life (and it is) so i am a little preoccupied with it. there is a message board at http://www.findhelp.com/ that I am using (it seems a little dead, but if you ever want to talk about quitting and get and give support, please come.

by the way it is 6PM the day after and I am still with it.

 

[Cheyenne]

Very cool. My dad is also trying to quit- stopped smoking last Sunday. He has been smoking for more than 50 years, and once stopped for several years before starting again. None of us in the family are saying anything to him, hoping not to jinx his efforts or make him go back to smoking rather than admit he finally listened to the rest of us.

I have never smoked and can only imagine how hard it would be to give up.

 

[CreamyLady]

I started smoking when I was 17; I quit when I was 19, and smoked one last cigarette when I was 21. I haven't had another in 26 years.

I wish all of you luck. It isn't easy, and it is amazing when the cravings will hit. I had some very strong cravings last spring, but I didn't give into them. It can be done, and again -- good luck!

 

[Purple Haze]

riff

Nicotine fits only last ten seconds.

No drug has ever asked so much, and given back so little in return...

Breathing is a good thing, ask anybody who can't.

Besides, who wants to be stinky and broke.

It's been done, don't give in. You don't need luck.

 

[Becca Btr N Btr]

You Can Do It! Don't let it win!

riff, here is a little helper to remind you why and what you are fighting! All my best to you and everyone trying to gain more of thier life back from smoking! It is tough....and one thing for sure....it isn't counting on you being tough back!

http://www.animation-central.com/skeleton/Skeleton1.gifhttp://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Heights/3193/skullcome.gifhttp://www.animation-central.com/skeleton/Skeleton1.gif

[Edited by Becca Btr N Btr on 11-25-2000 at 01:26 AM]

 

[Sammyjo]

I smoked on and off in high school. It was never hard for me to quit for weeks, months at a time. I wasn't a "dedicated" smoker.

After graduation, I think I got sucked back in...pressure of full-time school, full-time work...the same old "stress" story that everyone gives for not quitting.

I got pregnant in late 1993. I couldn't stand the smell of cigarette smoke any longer. I wouldn't let my friends smoke in my car, and I quit entirely. The worst part was, the car absolutely reeked of the smell...every time I got in that car I about puked. No amount of cleaning or disinfecting got rid of the smell. I almost praised the high heavens when my tummy got too big to allow me to fit behind the wheel (keep in mind, I'm only 4'11", so I have a hard time reaching now, much less with the 50+ pounds extra I was carrying)...and then it broke down altogether...

Anyway, I have my daughter to thank for saving my life in more ways than one. Had I not gotten pregnant, I might have STILL been on the downward spiral I was on, drinking and drugs, depression. I quit smoking, and haven't taken it up again. And I got my accounting degree, something I had given up on altogether.

 

[Ksss]

Good luck in your "battle" riff. As a smoker who has tried to quit numerous times, remember, it is extremely easy to start smoking again. Once you have quit your biggest battle will be not starting again. I am amazed that with all of the information out about smoking that so many young people get hooked. 30 years ago when I started smoking the info wasn't there and cigarettes were ALOT cheaper then.

 

[riff]

Good luck in your "battle" riff. As a smoker who has tried to quit numerous times, remember, it is extremely easy to start smoking again. Once you have quit your biggest battle will be not starting again.

u r absolutely right, ksss... here is is, Saturday afternoon and I have not used tobacco or nicotine since that humiliating experience Thursday morning. If I have any fears now it is for that event that has not occurred- the "one cigarette won't kill me" moment. Right now, when I have thoughts of "man, a bone would be good right now..." I try to recall myself puking, the smell of vomit, and the idea of something evil ramming it's cock down my throat... that is what thursday morning was like....

nah... I don wanna... (not at this moment anyway!!!)

 

[Skibum]

riff, congratulations and good luck. I was a cigar and pipe smoker as well as a tobacco chewer at one time. I have been done with all that shit for more than 15 years. It took an asthma attack from my son to get me to quit, and I will always have a horrible feeling that exposure to my cigar smoke was one of the things that triggered his asthma.