OK Boys And Girls, I Need Some Help..

[Harmony_1985]

For those of you who have been keeping up in the cafe today, you'll have seen that my boyfriend and I have had a good discussion/arguement about the fact that I am into the lifestyle and am very curious about exploring my submissive side.

Well after a big talk, he's said that he's going to give it a go for me, meaning he's going to try the lifestyle out, being my dominant.

That said, I don't think he understands or really has an understanding of it, so what I need is some website links that will help him understand the lifestyle and the role of a dominant better.

Any help or advice for him would be most appreciated guys!

 

[subwannabe]

All that is useful but there are so many variables involved that at some point you will have to give him pointers on how far you are willing to go or how far you want him to go. You can generalize somewhat so that he can come up with his own ideas down the correct road you want to travel. Good luck.

 

[Harmony_1985]

The thing is, he has no idea, so we're looking to research some stuff we might want to try first, so if anybody knows of any links that might help him, it would be appreciated.

Not to mention, I don't think he understands the idea of BDSM in total, and he needs a bit of reading up first.

I think he might be a little bit scared lol.

 

[cherokee_dove]

Harmony,

This link leads to Wikipedia. It has quite a reading area, and more links to click by clicking the blue words within the definition.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM

 

[ultramarineblue]

The library here has a lot of really good reading too.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Start here, at the beginning of the library, see what topics apply to your situation, and flow on through. Good luck.

 

[CutieMouse]

When Someone You Love is Kinky

Lit's BDSM Library


Library link on checklists

In addition, you are interested in it, so it might be worthwhile to explain what you see as "BDSM"/want from that sort of relationship.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Is your b/f the Master in your sig line?

 

[CutieMouse]

Is your b/f the Master in your sig line?

Good [and interesting] catch...

 

[Puman]

Good [and interesting] catch...

mmmmmmm uitgevang.

 

[Harmony_1985]

No, he's not. Daddy is someone I maintain an online relationship with, he's helping me explore what I like and don't like, and we write an SRP on here.

My boyfriend and I have a LDR, and I rarely see him, so we're looking to research while we're apart, then try when we're together.

 

[CutieMouse]

No, he's not. Daddy is someone I maintain an online relationship with, he's helping me explore what I like and don't like, and we write an SRP on here.

My boyfriend and I have a LDR, and I rarely see him, so we're looking to research while we're apart, then try when we're together.

So Daddy knows about boyfriend/Master-material, and boyfriend/Master-material knows about Daddy?

 

[Puman]

Thanks for clearing that up.

 

[Harmony_1985]

So Daddy knows about boyfriend/Master-material, and boyfriend/Master-material knows about Daddy?

Yah, they know of each other.

 

[CutieMouse]

Okay, cool. I was just thinking if they for some reason didn't, it might be a little Dom-ego crushing.

 

[Harmony_1985]

No no, Daddy knows about my A, and A knows about Daddy.

A understands that I'm probably into this far more than he'll ever comprehend, and he knows I've been talking to other people involved in it to learn more about it myself.

 

[FFOTS4Life]

WOW SIS! That was definitely not the response I expected out of him....wow that kind of blows my mind. I'm glad that he is at least willing to try. What did G say about all this? I hope it all works out....I'm sending my love your way.

 

[Harmony_1985]

G doesn't know yet cos he's not been on MSN for a week and a half =/

 

[VelvetDarkness]

How are things going sweetheart?

 

[Harmony_1985]

So so. We've had another discussion about Daddy and he was a bit miffed about me keeping aspects of it from him, but other than that it seems to be going ok.

We've had a couple of discussions and looked at some websites, he seems quite receptive.

 

[SlaveNano]

The Informed Consent web site has a very good bdsm dictionary and a message board where bdsm things are discussed, events publicised etc. The web address is.

http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/dictionary/BDSM/

 

[HotheadKali]

I started collecting websites when I realized that I was at a "point of no return" (in the best possible way!) in this lifestyle for research purposes. Here are a few that I found helpful.

1) Various essays-- http://www.the-iron-gate.com/
2) http://sexgeek.wordpress.com/
3) http://www.sexuality.org/
4) http://www.seekers.org.uk/ (A very helpful website--navigation is through the vertical bars on each side)
5) http://www.leathernroses.com/lnrhome.htm
6) http://www.xeromag.com/franklin.html
7) http://www.symtoys.com/ideas.html
8) And the ever-necessary BDSM-checklist! http://www.soulshaven.f2s.com/newchecklist/printerfriendly.php3

It's very easy to say "Just do what feels good," but I know that it can be hard to figure out what feels good, or where to start. I hope this helps you on your journey.

Good luck!