Oh how weak I am...

[lne_iii]

I went for my "last visit" today...

Didn't go nearly as planned.
Didn't go at all as planned.

After the fireworks, I told her I was going to be disappearing for a while...
She got upset, and I agreed not to.

 

[ImSkye]

I'm sorry

Skye

 

[FurryFury]

I went for my "last visit" today...

Didn't go nearly as planned.
Didn't go at all as planned.

After the fireworks, I told her I was going to be disappearing for a while...
She got upset, and I agreed not to.

Let me guess deep down you LOVED that she got upset, am I right?

It made you feel a glorious spark of hope of being important, maybe even loved by her, am I right? The thing is, such sparks can and will burn you over and over if you let them.

Now let's review, she quit with you, didn't she??

If so then to me, it sounds like she is being pretty selfish. It sounds like she is also unable to stop and let the past be in the past. She is sending double messages too.

Of course I have no way of really knowing. I also don't know exactly how you said what you said.

However, I don't blame you for being "weak." Why? Because she gave you the message you hungered for if I'm not mistaken. That's very hard to walk away from isn't it? I understand that.

*hugs*

Fury

 

[jadefirefly]

Oh, sweetie.

That's not good for you. It isn't good for her either. She's hurting you only to postpone her own pain. It's selfish and misguided.

Don't allow yourself to help her hurt you both, sweetie. It's that damn band-aid analogy again... it hurts now, but it'll be better than dragging it out over a long period of time.

*hugs*

 

[lne_iii]

Thing is, I want to remain friends...all such as that...
But, damn, it's hard.

We've both "moved on" ...or, let's put it this way, I'm trying.

Grr...

And no, Ms. Fury, I don't at all love when she gets upset, it hurts me.
See, I can still "read" her, something she detests sometimes, because she can't "read" me at all, few can.
I can tell when she's being genuine or not.
And this was one time she was being genuine.

But, after I said that I wouldn't fall off the radar, she did get into a fake "pouty" routine that I always let her think I believe. But I know how to work around that too.

Gahh...

Her boyfriend is coming back into town next week, he just graduated basic training and ait (advanced infantry training) for the National Guard and all that...
That was the reason I gave for "disappearing"...

She said that if he couldn't handle my being around, he could find somewhere else to live.

Now that, ladies, is what gave me hope, be it false or otherwise.

I feel so selfish/stupid...
I don't think we could ever work out again...
Hell, I wouldn't even want to try.
I just don't want anyone else to have her.

 

[satin_coals]

hey dude firstly .. i'll give you a big, warm *huuuuugggggg* cos it sound slike you need one

listen up .. it may feel like that now .. but trust me; one day someone else will come along, and even if you're still friends with your ex, and care about her still (you probably always will .. I have a tiny place kept inside where a few of my more deep and meaningful ex's stay) you WILL move on, and continue on with your life.

I reckon the best advice is to have some 'time out' from each other. It's really hard to let someone go completely (which I think you may still need to do) when you are still around each other. Friendship is great but once you have BOTH moved on completely. but please, do not give up hope because there will be others

you are not weak, what you are feeling is SO natural when you obviously cared about her so dearly.

I think I speak for most of us here when i say we're here if you need to talk, or scream take care of yourself

~~~FallyN~~~

 

[FurryFury]

Thing is, I want to remain friends...all such as that...
But, damn, it's hard.

We've both "moved on" ...or, let's put it this way, I'm trying.

Grr...

And no, Ms. Fury, I don't at all love when she gets upset, it hurts me.
See, I can still "read" her, something she detests sometimes, because she can't "read" me at all, few can.
I can tell when she's being genuine or not.
And this was one time she was being genuine.

But, after I said that I wouldn't fall off the radar, she did get into a fake "pouty" routine that I always let her think I believe. But I know how to work around that too.

Gahh...

Her boyfriend is coming back into town next week, he just graduated basic training and ait (advanced infantry training) for the National Guard and all that...
That was the reason I gave for "disappearing"...

She said that if he couldn't handle my being around, he could find somewhere else to live.

Now that, ladies, is what gave me hope, be it false or otherwise.

I feel so selfish/stupid...
I don't think we could ever work out again...
Hell, I wouldn't even want to try.
I just don't want anyone else to have her.

I find that perfectly understandable.

I could say more but I've probably said too much as it is.

I hope it gets easier to move on for you both.

Fury

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Dude.... 5 words of advice:

Let go, and let God.

I hope you find peace, bro.

 

[chris9]

I'm not sure I agree with everyone else. It's harder to move on when you remain contact and maybe even friendship. But if you want to stay friends, it's a not so bad thing to do.

My advise, asked or not, needed or not, wanted or not, is not to completely cut her out of your life. Give her some space, take some for yourself, start calling other friends first, thinking of others first, asking others to do stuff first. Eventually you'll be just be friends. Or you won't. One never knows how that goes...

 

[FurryFury]

Okay, here is more for you; I think you need to break your habit to this woman. The habit you likely have of thinking of her first when something happens and wanting to share it with her, needs breaking. The habits of wanting to pick up the phone or go see her, these too need to be broken. Maybe you have a need to hear her voice or smell her scent.

I don't know what your exact addictions/habits are but I know we get into routines where that other person makes up a great deal of our thoughts and needed time, you know?

I think you need the space (both of you,) to break those sorts of rote behaviors and make new ones with someone else before you can hope to truly be comfortable platonic friends.

I find this to be true for me. I truly hate letting go of people or things I enjoy doing. It's a mourning of loss for me, the loss of dreams and connections.

Does this make sense to you? If not just disregard.

Fury

 

[lne_iii]

Yes, Ms. Fury, I understand.

It's just alot easier said than done.

Thank you all for your kindness/advice/support.
-hugs- for those that gave them.

LNE

 

[FurryFury]

You are very welcome.

Fury