Oh do I ever want to get my fuck on right now.

[Phelia]

Which isn't all too surprising, I suppose, as generally speaking I'm pretty open to the idea at almost all times. But oh boy do I have it badddd right now. I am jonesin' for a bonesin' a.k.a. cruisin' for a sexy bruisin' a.k.a. someone give it to me deep please so I can stop shut up and stop rhyming.

It started this morning as sort of vague desire to kiss various strangers. By three it had manifested into full-blown cockstarving.

Problem is that I think my only choices tonight would be either a) a stranger or b) someone else's boyfriend, and while I am easily slutty enough to be considered a lot of fun at parties, I'm not slutty enough to pull either of those options off. I guess I've got to update my booty call roster for my current locale.

So. Fuck you, world. Because you won't fuck me back.

Anyway, hi! Happy Friday, you scurrilous bunch of bastards.

 

[Luk]

I will not be getting laid either and we are friends. Let's do this.

 

[Phelia]

I will not be getting laid either and we are friends. Let's do this.

Oh it's on. I'm gonna hit that so hard it'd make Tiger Woods blush.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Which isn't all too surprising, I suppose, as generally speaking I'm pretty open to the idea at almost all times. But oh boy do I have it badddd right now. I am jonesin' for a bonesin' a.k.a. cruisin' for a sexy bruisin' a.k.a. someone give it to me deep please so I can stop shut up and stop rhyming.

It started this morning as sort of vague desire to kiss various strangers. By three it had manifested into full-blown cockstarving.

Problem is that I think my only choices tonight would be either a) a stranger or b) someone else's boyfriend, and while I am easily slutty enough to be considered a lot of fun at parties, I'm not slutty enough to pull either of those options off. I guess I've got to update my booty call roster for my current locale.

So. Fuck you, world. Because you won't fuck me back.

Anyway, hi! Happy Friday, you scurrilous bunch of bastards.

*takes syringe of Phelia's blood to make ready for cloning*

 

[RoryN]

These truly are the best threads.

 

[Phelia]

*takes syringe of Phelia's blood to make ready for cloning*

Sounds educational. Can we wear lab coats? With nothing underneath?

And you, sir, have carte blanche to stick whatever you'd like in me. So have at 'er.

These truly are the best threads.

Wait, men like horny women? Huh. Who knew?

 

[Saint Peter]

You should have a nice healthy salad instead.

 

[Phelia]

You should have a nice healthy salad instead.

Hmm. You seem really into salads tonight. Are you getting kickbacks from lettuce farmers? Or maybe you're on the board of trustees for the tomato association of North America?

Or perhaps you'd just really like to have yours tossed?

 

[Luk]

Oh it's on. I'm gonna hit that so hard it'd make Tiger Woods blush.

I wouldn't expect anything less from you.

 

[Saint Peter]

Hmm. You seem really into salads tonight. Are you getting kickbacks from lettuce farmers? Or maybe you're on the board of trustees for the tomato association of North America?

Or perhaps you'd just really like to have yours tossed?

Yes, please.

Hold the croutons.

 

[Sonny Limatina]

I don't understand what any of this has to do with politics.

 

[Morcheeba]

Which isn't all too surprising, I suppose, as generally speaking I'm pretty open to the idea at almost all times. But oh boy do I have it badddd right now. I am jonesin' for a bonesin' a.k.a. cruisin' for a sexy bruisin' a.k.a. someone give it to me deep please so I can stop shut up and stop rhyming.

It started this morning as sort of vague desire to kiss various strangers. By three it had manifested into full-blown cockstarving.

Problem is that I think my only choices tonight would be either a) a stranger or b) someone else's boyfriend, and while I am easily slutty enough to be considered a lot of fun at parties, I'm not slutty enough to pull either of those options off. I guess I've got to update my booty call roster for my current locale.

So. Fuck you, world. Because you won't fuck me back.

Anyway, hi! Happy Friday, you scurrilous bunch of bastards.

I read this with Lady Gaga's voice singing to "Bad Romance" - is that wrong?

 

[RunningJib]

Not at all

I read this with Lady Gaga's voice singing to "Bad Romance" - is that wrong?

In fact it is encouraged . . .

I'm in a very bad way as well. Almost committed a gave sin at work this morning

 

[Phelia]

I wouldn't expect anything less from you.

Love is a battlefield!

Yes, please.

Hold the croutons.

K. Say when.

I don't understand what any of this has to do with politics.

The only person I'll get fucked by tonight is Barack Obama and his ludicrous bleeding-heart liberal policies!

Better?

I read this with Lady Gaga's voice singing to "Bad Romance" - is that wrong?

No, that's fine, but I think of myself as more of a Ke$ha. It's like...really? ALL of your songs are about being a pisstank-drunk of a whoreface?

We are of kindred souls.

In fact it is encouraged . . .

I'm in a very bad way as well. Almost committed a gave sin at work this morning

I have an interesting story about how I handled it at work but instead I'm going to focus on how your typo makes it look like agave sin which makes me think you drank too much tequila and now I want a margarita. Sorry wow I am really distracted right now.

 

[pointless]

i find getting off the internet helps a great deal when one is trying to get laid.

 

[Sonny Limatina]

I have an interesting story about how I handled it at work but instead I'm going to focus on how your typo makes it look like agave sin which makes me think you drank too much tequila and now I want a margarita. Sorry wow I am really distracted right now.

'Handled it at work.'

Heh.

 

[Phelia]

i find getting off the internet helps a great deal when one is trying to get laid.

Ohhhh shut up I get more pussy than you'd know how to handle. Sob sob sob.

'Handled it at work.'

Heh.

*whistles innocent-like*

 

[pointless]

Ohhhh shut up I get more pussy than you'd know how to handle. Sob sob sob.

hooray for you. i'm still right.

 

[RunningJib]

I have an interesting story about how I handled it at work but instead I'm going to focus on how your typo makes it look like agave sin which makes me think you drank too much tequila and now I want a margarita. Sorry wow I am really distracted right now.

Oh, its not that easy. You see, across the street there's a cemetery and hence my (almost) lack of control.

I'm telling myself that it's the full moon that is having this affect upon me, but I know better. The creature is stirring again. Very difficult to concentrate today. At one time, had to take hold of my desk, lest I begin to stroke my hardness
So tell me, if you are so inclined, how did you relieve your tension?

 

[Phelia]

Oh, its not that easy. You see, across the street there's a cemetery and hence my (almost) lack of control.

I'm telling myself that it's the full moon that is having this affect upon me, but I know better. The creature is stirring again. Very difficult to concentrate today. At one time, had to take hold of my desk, lest I begin to stroke my hardness
So tell me, if you are so inclined, how did you relieve your tension?

Um.

What?

 

[Sonny Limatina]

Um.

What?

That's where I dropped out. Scanned forward to "full moon" and got off the bus in Harlem.

 

[Luk]

That's where I dropped out. Scanned forward to "full moon" and got off the bus in Harlem.

Lots of dead folk in Harlem.

 

[RunningJib]

Your story

Um.

What?

Love to hear your story about you handled it at work. Do tell

 

[Sonny Limatina]

Lots of dead folk in Harlem.

Jib just got a chubby.

 

[Phelia]

Annnnd I'm officially turned off until at least May of 2011. Worked like a charm. Thanks, guys!