Ode to lemonbread

[RawHumor]

This turned into a pretty nice thread, despite some people tracking dirt into it.

Wipe your shoes next time, folks.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

Her big boobsies wouldn't confuse you about her being a young guy, that's for dayum sure.

I got duped into messing around with a girl once, I still shudder to think of it. Five seconds in, I was tearfully looking for the d. I am 100% hetero...

 

[girlsmiley]

I try.

I know how it can be on the internet. I know words can hurt, even if they're said by people hiding behind the anonymity. Being a girl who takes thing far too personally, I try not to do that to other people. It's not that I'm never harsh, I am when I need to be, but I won't be rude to someone for the hell of it. That's not who I am.

I had a dream (just a minute ago) that I was visiting a woman in jail. I tried talking to her, but she wouldn't listen. She was really getting ugly so I turned to leave. I noticed another chick in the cell next to her. She'd heard the whole thing, and she looked at me with the saddest eyes. Like she was about to cry.

 

[lemonbread]

I had a dream (just a minute ago) that I was visiting a woman in jail. I tried talking to her, but she wouldn't listen. She was really getting ugly so I turned to leave. I noticed another chick in the cell next to her. She'd heard the whole thing, and she looked at me with the saddest eyes. Like she was about to cry.

Aww. I'm a sucker for sad eyes.

 

[lemonbread]

I think you're obliged to post "the girls" at this point in time.

Bra selfie!

(Idk what the weird ghosting effect is, I tried to only crop it.).

 

[Jennifer]

Very cute!

And Zumi said boobies.

 

[smoothg103rd]

Bra selfie!

(Idk what the weird ghosting effect is, I tried to only crop it.).

You are attractive.

 

[The Greek]

Bra selfie!

(Idk what the weird ghosting effect is, I tried to only crop it.).

Very beautiful picture...including the seductive looking head tilt. Thanks for sharing

 

[IrezumiKiss]

I got duped into messing around with a girl once, I still shudder to think of it. Five seconds in, I was tearfully looking for the d. I am 100% hetero...

Was she trying to stealth convert you, or something? I hear that sorta thing happens sometimes. Watcha'self, now.

Bra selfie!

(Idk what the weird ghosting effect is, I tried to only crop it.).

Absolutely delicioso. I'd have a salami and meatball pizza with a balsamic vinaigrette swirled on top, and asiago cheese crust with you any day!

 

[lemonbread]

Thank you.

 

[unregistered]

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

Was she trying to stealth convert you, or something? I hear that sorta thing happens sometimes. Watcha'self, now.



Absolutely delicioso. I'd have a salami and meatball pizza with a balsamic vinaigrette swirled on top, and asiago cheese crust with you any day!

It was my own damn fault. I went to a swinger club with a lit dude who was passing through town but could not get in on his own. I was curious so I went. We were pounced on by a couple of regulars. He wanted to fuck her so he went to find a condom. Now I am in this room with a married couple and she is begging me to eat her out while hey husband watched. Why not, I figured. Maybe this will open up a new world of opportunities. So I did it. Cue the price is rights tuba fail music because I was instantly disgusted. That was the most sexually foul thing I have ever done. And i have sinned a lot... I mean a lot. I blame society. Luckily he came back quickly and fucked her whole the husband and I watched.

 

[doowdniw]

I won't be rude to someone for the hell of it. That's not who I am.

From what I've seen, you may be in the minority around here.

 

[girlsmiley]

It was my own damn fault. I went to a swinger club with a lit dude who was paying through town but could not get in on his own. I was curious so I went. We were pounced on by a couple of regulars. He wanted to fuck her so he went to find a condom. Now I am in this room with a married couple and she is begging me to eat her out while hey husband watched. Why not, I figured. Maybe this will open up a new world of opportunities. So I did it. Cue the price is rights tuba fail music because I was instantly disgusted. That was the most sexually foul thing I have ever done. And i have sinned a lot... I mean a lot. I blame society. Luckily he came back quickly and fucked her whole the husband and I watched.

That sounds horrible. The whole thing.

 

[girlsmiley]

Aww. I'm a sucker for sad eyes.

So am I. Usually.

If there's one thing I've learnt here it's that you can't be a sucker for sad eyes. Some bitches here are just fucking evil, nasty cunts no matter how nice or sad they act. I've learnt the hard way with a few in this very thread.

It sucks to say, but some of the cunts here really aren't worth the effort.

Enjoy your stay LB. I got you.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

It was my own damn fault. I went to a swinger club with a lit dude who was paying through town but could not get in on his own. I was curious so I went. We were pounced on by a couple of regulars. He wanted to fuck her so he went to find a condom. Now I am in this room with a married couple and she is begging me to eat her out while hey husband watched. Why not, I figured. Maybe this will open up a new world of opportunities. So I did it. Cue the price is rights tuba fail music because I was instantly disgusted. That was the most sexually foul thing I have ever done. And i have sinned a lot... I mean a lot. I blame society. Luckily he came back quickly and fucked her whole the husband and I watched.

I swear, you always come with the best sex adventure tales. My fave will always be that one time that married dude who was crushing on you bent you over in a fit of heated passion and started doing you raw, then came to his senses and pulled out a split second before blowing his load all over your backside.

I'd trade all the politics bullshit in here for more hot sammich stories like that. Maybe the only other person who could match you was Naughty. She had some great ass sex doozies to tell, too.

 

[Littlefinger]

Bra selfie!

(Idk what the weird ghosting effect is, I tried to only crop it.).

Omg! Very nice and tantalizing! You've got that coy look on your face and I love it.

 

[Littlefinger]

I swear, you always come with the best sex adventure tales. My fave will always be that one time that married dude who was crushing on you bent you over in a fit of heated passion and started doing you raw, then came to his senses and pulled out a split second before blowing his load all over your backside.

I'd trade all the politics bullshit in here for more hot sammich stories like that. Maybe the only other person who could match you was Naughty. She had some great ass sex doozies to tell, too.

^^^Truth.

I always pay attention when I see Funk post. Whether it's interesting tales like this - delivered in superb, storyteller flare as well - or her very down-to-earth no-nonsense commentary on social and political issues.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

I swear, you always come with the best sex adventure tales. My fave will always be that one time that married dude who was crushing on you bent you over in a fit of heated passion and started doing you raw, then came to his senses and pulled out a split second before blowing his load all over your backside.

I'd trade all the politics bullshit in here for more hot sammich stories like that. Maybe the only other person who could match you was Naughty. She had some great ass sex doozies to tell, too.

You forgot about the part where the guy started crying after he came.
(And of course I did hear from again wanting to "hang out" a few months later.)

 

[Littlefinger]

I do. Today I had a salami and meatball pizza with a balsamic vinaigrette swirled on top, and asiago cheese crust.

Seven Hells! Sounds absolutely delicious! You and I would have fun times adventuring in the kitchen.

Tonight I've got some Bob Evans mashed potatoes but I don't like just eating mashed potatoes, especially not like a whole bowl of it by itself. So, I got some Perdue roasted chicken slices to put in it and some sliced black olives and real bacon bits. I don't know, I've been on an olive craze lately. Like I'll be standing at my register and be like, "I feel like having olives... but I also want ice cream... *lightbulb*" just kidding but sometimes it's just like that. I don't have a lot of failure stories yet with my experiments.

Do you like sharks? I'm kind of into sea life right now and greenland sharks freak me out. They're supposedly really big and they have these kind of white, blind eyes and they move slow in the cold waters. They just look eerie.

 

[lemonbread]

Omg! Very nice and tantalizing! You've got that coy look on your face and I love it.

Glad you enjoy it.

And the others.

 

[lemonbread]

Seven Hells! Sounds absolutely delicious! You and I would have fun times adventuring in the kitchen.

Tonight I've got some Bob Evans mashed potatoes but I don't like just eating mashed potatoes, especially not like a whole bowl of it by itself. So, I got some Perdue roasted chicken slices to put in it and some sliced black olives and real bacon bits. I don't know, I've been on an olive craze lately. Like I'll be standing at my register and be like, "I feel like having olives... but I also want ice cream... *lightbulb*" just kidding but sometimes it's just like that. I don't have a lot of failure stories yet with my experiments.

Do you like sharks? I'm kind of into sea life right now and greenland sharks freak me out. They're supposedly really big and they have these kind of white, blind eyes and they move slow in the cold waters. They just look eerie.

I think naughty things when i see "adventuring in the kitchen".

I've never really gotten into sharks. I don't dislike sharks, I suppose. I'll have to google those.

 

[Bert Notorius]

It was my own damn fault. I went to a swinger club with a lit dude who was passing through town but could not get in on his own. I was curious so I went. We were pounced on by a couple of regulars. He wanted to fuck her so he went to find a condom. Now I am in this room with a married couple and she is begging me to eat her out while hey husband watched. Why not, I figured. Maybe this will open up a new world of opportunities. So I did it. Cue the price is rights tuba fail music because I was instantly disgusted. That was the most sexually foul thing I have ever done. And i have sinned a lot... I mean a lot. I blame society. Luckily he came back quickly and fucked her whole the husband and I watched.

mr.essex.

 

[Littlefinger]

I think naughty things when i see "adventuring in the kitchen".

I've never really gotten into sharks. I don't dislike sharks, I suppose. I'll have to google those.

We could do some of that too. I'm partial to eating you out.

 

[Killswitch]

We could do some of that too. I'm partial to eating you out.

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