Obscenely Alive

[dr_mabeuse]

Since I've already talked about my continuing and ongoing battle with severe depression, I want to talk about one of the things that seems to be helping more than anything else: filthy, obscene, passionate sex.

As I was bumping along in the emotional muck, I was lucky enough to have a woman write me about some stories I wrote, and we almost immediately fell into an intense on-line relationship of nasty, intense, totally uninhibitied cyber sex. There are plans to get together, but that's not the point.

I've been interested in D/s, from the D side. She's interested from the s side. We came together like the opposite poles of two huge sexual magnets with a huge burst of energy and emotion., shocking in its intensity.

But I'm not even sure if the D/s part is important. What's important is how utterly clear it now is to me that, for me at least, Sex is Life. No matter how perverse, how filthy, or even how apparently degrading (and don't condemn it until you've tried it), the sexual urge is the urge to live. It's all good.

I'm not saying anything so stupid or simplistic as that I live to fuck. It's not that simple. I mean that the energy that runs my sexual engine is the same energy that keeps me alive. It just became so obvious to me as we would talk and feed on each other's sexual energy and desire, and I would feel the blood flowing, the interest picking up, breathing increasing, <*L* you know the story> till finally I'm just about standing up and clawing at the screen.

Sexual healing, I guess.

So now when I think of people and insitutions who try to control this urge, to repress it, to keep it down, to tell us that it's wrong and evil, I just want to laugh. Because I've been there and I know the truth, and sex is absolutely the healthiest, most life-affirming thing we've got going. All of it. No matter how obscene it seems. In fact the dirtier the better.


---dr.M.

 

[wildsweetone]

depression then sex

The first thing that occured to me when I read your posting dr is this... (it's not easy to explain well, but I'll give it a go)
In my opinion:

Depression is uncontrollable.

Sex is something tangible one can use to regain control over one's own body.

The depth of the depression can make the comeback into the world touch the opposite end of the spectrum to depression.

Make any sense to you?

Eventually, the pendulum does swing less vigorously, but enjoy it while it's at its extreme height.

 

[hiddenself]

I will twist it a bit -- if it can be a cure, can the lack of it be a contributing cause? In other words, can the lack of a strong, passionate sex life (for a prolonged period of time) bring on or exacerbate depression (in people susceptible to it)?

 

[Chicklet]

depression stinks

hey there,

I'm glad you have anything that can bring you up out of a slump. When I'm depressed it takes me weeks to get out of it...and I don't know that anything *I* do actually helps. it just eventually goes away.

-Chicklet

 

[Guest]

In another thread begun by Dr. M. there is much discussion of the role chemistry plays in one's emotional life. Here I cannot help but think of those lovely endorphins that kick in merely by doing aerobics, running, weightlifting, etc.

When I was low over a breakup once my best friend forced me to go to a gym with her (something I thought I'd never do). I got into a daily routine and I remember after a week merely looking forward to the high I felt after a workout. I'd lie on my back afterwards all sweaty and smelly and think, Wow, this is as good as sex. Well, not really, but close given my circumstances.

On the other hand, a basic symptom of depression is loss of libido, but obviously not universal. Another symptom is reclusiveness, one cuts oneself off from society and family, so I can see a sexual or romantic attachment might just get one out of the house, or 'out' into cyber space.

Lastly, re. sex = life, and mentioned in a silly thread some time ago, a study of elephants once reported how after the death of a cow the lead bull tried to mount her, antropomorphicaly it seemed, trying to give her life.

 

[Pure]

Yes, indeed, sex is a life force. Unfortunately depression often kills the desire, or makes one avoid going after it; iow maybe the plumbing IS working, but the person 'mopes' around home.

I can see sex as possibly a cure, though impersonal sex might not be. More I can see it as a distraction, though a helluva good one. Iow you can't fuck 16 hours a day.

But. If you know a source of joy, that can be a beacon light in depression; be glad there is one. Perhaps it's even a reason for living?

J.

 

[Guest]

sex-work prescription

Seriously, this leads me to wonder about the statistics that show more women suffer from depression than men.

Men have the easy outlet of prostitutes. I have often in my life wished I could buy sex. I know there are call-men and gigolos but I'm talking about easy services, e.g., a group of dudes on a familiar corner type thing.

I had a friend who did this - made an arrangement with a guy and paid him for just-sex. He began to not want to get paid, i.e., wanted a thang, so she fired him.

Just a thought.

Perdita

 

[Master_Vassago]

DR.M, while you have always had my upmost respect, as a writer and a good human being in general around here, I applaud your honesty here even more. '

I myself battled with manic depressive tendencies my entire life thus far. I have only sought professional help once. Kind of a mandate from a place I worked. But I am one of the people that refuses to medicate myself and allow my life to revolve around taking pills. I learned that I could control the depression most days by doing things that made me happy. Sweet Leaping Jesus, sex was one of those things.

When the depression hits even now, it can produce a week or two long funk that is hard to get out with, usually stemming from lack of sex.

But, I do know that feeling, that rush when you find something that lifts you out of the depression and gives you hope and something to fix on and dive right into. So run with it, have the delicious cyber sex and by all means if you can meet this woman and get the carnal pleasure in the flesh do it.

I think I got way off topic but oh well. Thanks for sharing Dr.M

 

[Slutlet]

Interesting that your D/s fetish seems to be untangling the knots in your soul. I'm just some poster on a porno web site, so don't pay too much heed, but wierd sex can be a great way of resolving stuff.

I once had a boyfriend who'd been abused by a sibling, and when the mode of abuse had translated itself into our sex life his mood swings seemed to disappear.

'Course he broke up with me soon afterwards, so i tend to avoid looking to closely at this story for a moral

 

[The_old_man]

This is one of the reasons I began to wright porn.

During periods of extreme disinterest on my wifes part, I would generate a fantasy situation to give some semi-reality to my masturbation. Eventually I began to wright then down so I could "rerun" some of the 'better' ones. Each time I re-ran a fantasy I would embellish or edit it.

Then the internet. I began using other's fantasies. Eventually I found "Literotica."

When I asked my wife to edit one of my stories for posting, she "Got into the story." The result was that we now are both writing out our fantasies. Life is good!