Objectification/Humiliation

[ecstaticsub]

Aaaaand a bump [by request].

Re-reading this old humiliation thread in light of last nights activities was interesting.

Cat mentioned early on that familiarity makes humiliation more difficult... Except that I'm finding familiarity makes it far easier.

I mentioned in the slut/whore thread the other day that there's one person who's ever gotten away with calling me whore; that from him it's like a very disturbing endearment.

The longer we've known each other, the more comfortable I am with him...
The edgier the humiliation gets.
The riskier the humiliation gets.
The more... comforting the humiliation gets.

In a way, it's sick. I mean how insane is it that after an incredibly challenging day (long story), the thing that helped me let go, curl up, and sleep like a baby was a few hours of humiliation, degradation, pain, embarrassment, begging, and a crossing of limits most people still classify as totally unacceptable?

I woke up this morning, sore; smiling. Briefly wondering what the hell was wrong with me to equate last night with love, care, concern, connection. Why do I ask for that [humiliation/etc], especially after days like yesterday? Because I did ask for it. He even wanted clarification - physical or verbal?

And I asked for it.

The odds are actually quite good that I'll continue to ask for it.

I do wonder if I did that ethically... happily diving down that rabbit hole, after an exhausting day, without exactly explaining to him what had led up to the exhaustion.

I get this, I get this.

I've read your post probably 5-7 times since I first saw it and was trying to think of something intelligent to say in response. Obviously I failed.

Thank you for sharing, it is appreciated.

 

[shamegirl]

Cat mentioned early on that familiarity makes humiliation more difficult... Except that I'm finding familiarity makes it far easier.

I mentioned in the slut/whore thread the other day that there's one person who's ever gotten away with calling me whore; that from him it's like a very disturbing endearment.

The longer we've known each other, the more comfortable I am with him...
The edgier the humiliation gets.
The riskier the humiliation gets.
The more... comforting the humiliation gets.

It's exactly the same for me. There are little tortures that just never loose their edge and then he just adds something to it. Bliss!

In a way, it's sick. I mean how insane is it that after an incredibly challenging day (long story), the thing that helped me let go, curl up, and sleep like a baby was a few hours of humiliation, degradation, pain, embarrassment, begging, and a crossing of limits most people still classify as totally unacceptable?


Yeah it's sick. But so's watching X factor. Now those people have issues!

I woke up this morning, sore; smiling. Briefly wondering what the hell was wrong with me to equate last night with love, care, concern, connection. Why do I ask for that [humiliation/etc], especially after days like yesterday? Because I did ask for it. He even wanted clarification - physical or verbal?

When I posted why I like humiliation some one very succinctly summed up my post by saying what we did was kind of an exorcism. Do you think it could be the same for you?

I do wonder if I did that ethically... happily diving down that rabbit hole, after an exhausting day, without exactly explaining to him what had led up to the exhaustion.
I need this spelling out for me, possibly with big easy to read letters and picture diagrams.
Ethically by you or him? Or both of you even?

 

[Netzach]

I do wonder if I did that ethically... happily diving down that rabbit hole, after an exhausting day, without exactly explaining to him what had led up to the exhaustion.

My .02? The degree to which the Controlling Party is in control of and thus responsible for the minefields of the other party is as grossly overstated as "submission is a gift." If you feel it's your mess and your bear trap and YOU are willing to clean up any dumping, there's no ethical lapse on your part, IMO.

Unless your Dom is one of those "total and complete transparency above everything"busybodies in which case your little concealment is against the spirit of the agreement, I suppose.

 

[CutieMouse]

When I posted why I like humiliation some one very succinctly summed up my post by saying what we did was kind of an exorcism. Do you think it could be the same for you?

Mmmmmmm... no. No exorcism here. I get off on certain things because the dichotomy of uptight little ol' me sincerely and desperately begging to do some of the things I find myself wanting [needing] is hot as hell. And I'm lucky enough to be friends with someone who gets that.

Ethically by you or him?

Ethical by me. I work really hard to own my shit, and it was more coincidence than anything that we were both in the mood for similar (if opposite) things, but (also coincidentally) I needed/wanted those things at the end of a very emotionally draining and difficult evening. It was more of a head check than anything - "did I give *enough* information for him to consent to do those things to me?" Which in a way is stupid because it isn't like we did anything that much [if any] darker than we already have a history of doing.

My .02? The degree to which the Controlling Party is in control of and thus responsible for the minefields of the other party is as grossly overstated as "submission is a gift." If you feel it's your mess and your bear trap and YOU are willing to clean up any dumping, there's no ethical lapse on your part, IMO.

Unless your Dom is one of those "total and complete transparency above everything" busybodies in which case your little concealment is against the spirit of the agreement, I suppose.

Not "my Dom"; more like a dear old friend with [thankfully] similar appetites. I'm not a fan of the "gift" thing, and yup - my mess, my bear trap, my shit to clean up if I go south emotionally (wasn't going to happen). Thank you for the reality check.

I think part of what momentarily threw me, is that I really do *need* the dark, mindfucky, humiliating, raw to my core sorts of things - it just so happened that opportunity presented itself on top of an otherwise rather challenging evening. That need isn't something I acknowledge very often, much less let out (hi! wound too tight!); when I do, he's the person I want doing it because I know he gets it - both the need, and the control necessitated by it.

Aaaaaaand I think I may have just officially convinced myself I think too much. You'd think I could just enjoy the whole whore/binder clamps/fuck toy/mild scat stuff but noooooo... I have to go and THINK about it.

 

[FungiUg]

I think I may have just officially convinced myself I think too much.

Noooooo!

 

[CutieMouse]

[snotty elitist rant-ishy thoughts]

There's a thread at Fet right now where some guy is saying he's interested in a "Bimbo Fetish" as a side branch of objectification, but doesn't think it would work long term because being with someone who either pretended to be that stupid, or actually was that stupid, would eventually bore him.

The question was posed - can someone be both valued for their intelligence, and objectified? [His] Answer - possibly so, if one were to view her as a computer, a thinking machine you could fuck, but it would be difficult and take all this elaborate staging like a sci-fi novel or something.

So much of my sexuality is wrapped up in the dichotomy between being that smart, articulate, creative, thinking, valued person and nothing more than a thing to be used for a lover's sexual pleasure...

A computer sci-fi recreation something, script included? Are you freaking kidding me? You gotta stretch that hard?

Some people are not smart enough to play this game.

[/snotty elitist rant-ishy thoughts]

 

[Primalex]

The question was posed - can someone be both valued for their intelligence, and objectified?

*scratches his chin*
Why should I value the intelligence of a fuck toy in the first place?

 

[FungiUg]

can someone be both valued for their intelligence, and objectified?

I sure as hell hope so. My relationship extends beyond sex and D/s, and as much as I enjoy that my lover is my fuck toy to do with as I wish, I also enjoy being able to hold conversations with her and have an adult, intelligent relationship.

If she wasn't smart, I'd walk all over intellectually. Not a great thing to do. So I need her to be intelligent.

But she's also such an awesome fuck toy.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

[snotty elitist rant-ishy thoughts]

There's a thread at Fet right now where some guy is saying he's interested in a "Bimbo Fetish" as a side branch of objectification, but doesn't think it would work long term because being with someone who either pretended to be that stupid, or actually was that stupid, would eventually bore him.

The question was posed - can someone be both valued for their intelligence, and objectified? [His] Answer - possibly so, if one were to view her as a computer, a thinking machine you could fuck, but it would be difficult and take all this elaborate staging like a sci-fi novel or something.

So much of my sexuality is wrapped up in the dichotomy between being that smart, articulate, creative, thinking, valued person and nothing more than a thing to be used for a lover's sexual pleasure...

A computer sci-fi recreation something, script included? Are you freaking kidding me? You gotta stretch that hard?

Some people are not smart enough to play this game.

[/snotty elitist rant-ishy thoughts]

I would've thought it would be more.. satisfying to objectify someone of intelligence.

But that's just me.

 

[rida]

I would've thought it would be more.. satisfying to objectify someone of intelligence.

But that's just me.

Agreed.

And to me it would be even hotter if the one being objectified is more intelligent (perceived or otherwise) than the one doing the objectifying.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Agreed.

And to me it would be even hotter if the one being objectified is more intelligent (perceived or otherwise) than the one doing the objectifying.

There's also something to be said for the bimbo angle, if you're intelligent.

But, only occasionally. The downside of being intelligent is getting bored easily with "the same ol' the same ol'" especially when it comes to the mind games.

 

[RawHumor]

I would've thought it would be more.. satisfying to objectify someone of intelligence.

But that's just me.

Exactly.

Knowing someone is actually intelligent and capable (or more than capable) of carrying on her professional life or other daily chores makes it that much more erotic when she becomes my little submissive bimbo, embarrassed by her mistakes, stumbling over her words, working that much harder to make me proud.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Exactly.

Knowing someone is actually intelligent and capable (or more than capable) of carrying on her professional life or other daily chores makes it that much more erotic when she becomes my little submissive bimbo, embarrassed by her mistakes, stumbling over her words, working that much harder to make me proud.

It's about the contrasts.

If there was no effort involved on both sides to become that bimbo, then it would not be anywhere near as confronting, emotionally. Nor would it have that zing.

 

[JMohegan]

[snotty elitist rant-ishy thoughts]

There's a thread at Fet right now where some guy is saying he's interested in a "Bimbo Fetish" as a side branch of objectification, but doesn't think it would work long term because being with someone who either pretended to be that stupid, or actually was that stupid, would eventually bore him.

The question was posed - can someone be both valued for their intelligence, and objectified? [His] Answer - possibly so, if one were to view her as a computer, a thinking machine you could fuck, but it would be difficult and take all this elaborate staging like a sci-fi novel or something.

So much of my sexuality is wrapped up in the dichotomy between being that smart, articulate, creative, thinking, valued person and nothing more than a thing to be used for a lover's sexual pleasure...

A computer sci-fi recreation something, script included? Are you freaking kidding me? You gotta stretch that hard?

Some people are not smart enough to play this game.

[/snotty elitist rant-ishy thoughts]

If he's only there for the fucking, then your intellect is irrelevant, as is your inner dichotomy. Unless his sense of conquest is amplified by the notion that he bagged an intelligent female, in which case you could say that your intelligence is valued in that respect.

But if he sometimes values discussing, debating, brainstorming, commiserating, joking, etc. with you, then by definition you're only talking about part-time objectification at most.

 

[Honed_Hunger]

[snotty elitist rant-ishy thoughts]

There's a thread at Fet right now where some guy is saying he's interested in a "Bimbo Fetish" as a side branch of objectification, but doesn't think it would work long term because being with someone who either pretended to be that stupid, or actually was that stupid, would eventually bore him.

The question was posed - can someone be both valued for their intelligence, and objectified? [His] Answer - possibly so, if one were to view her as a computer, a thinking machine you could fuck, but it would be difficult and take all this elaborate staging like a sci-fi novel or something.

So much of my sexuality is wrapped up in the dichotomy between being that smart, articulate, creative, thinking, valued person and nothing more than a thing to be used for a lover's sexual pleasure...

A computer sci-fi recreation something, script included? Are you freaking kidding me? You gotta stretch that hard?

Some people are not smart enough to play this game.

[/snotty elitist rant-ishy thoughts]

To the parts in red above hit really close to home for me personally.

I don't care for the ripe fruit that falls from the tree that anyone could pick up. If I were that base in regards to my needs, and this game was only physical in nature, a hundred dollar bill and a craigslist hooker would curb the hunger.

If it were only that simple. ~sighs~


I will only consider a standout among the masses of available sexually females I encounter. Typically, she will be intellectually smart, kind to others, blessed with people skills and have the street smarts to back her shit up.

Also........I must be ''the one'' who wins her over by proving my worth and that my intentions are righteous-n-true.

With the above criteria thus met, her trust, honor and sexual submission to me will be greatly valued. Without such a dynamic in place between the two of us, it will be meaningless to me, and I'll become bored to the point of mental impotence.

 

[Sweetzera]

This thread deserves attention! I am glad the topic is discussed.

 

[Sweetzera]

[snotty elitist rant-ishy thoughts]

There's a thread at Fet right now where some guy is saying he's interested in a "Bimbo Fetish" as a side branch of objectification, but doesn't think it would work long term because being with someone who either pretended to be that stupid, or actually was that stupid, would eventually bore him.

The question was posed - can someone be both valued for their intelligence, and objectified? [His] Answer - possibly so, if one were to view her as a computer, a thinking machine you could fuck, but it would be difficult and take all this elaborate staging like a sci-fi novel or something.

So much of my sexuality is wrapped up in the dichotomy between being that smart, articulate, creative, thinking, valued person and nothing more than a thing to be used for a lover's sexual pleasure...

A computer sci-fi recreation something, script included? Are you freaking kidding me? You gotta stretch that hard?

Some people are not smart enough to play this game.

[/snotty elitist rant-ishy thoughts]

Bimbo fetish. Men are curious creatures. It may be a simple association with famous women who are sexy but portray themselves as bimbos. More likely they become famous because they feed into what men want...?

 

[Netzach]

When a guy wants to be a bimbo it's about escape and alternate personality, when a woman wants to be a bimbo it's about that, but it's also about humiliation - I like to play with class anxiety as well as "being seen as stupid" - there's something SO hot to me about taking a sophisticated person with her own aesthetic elitism and putting her in some dollar store whore getup.

Seriously, I like the kind of girl where making her buy 99 cent lipstick is a kind of punishment.

 

[Ropebunny]

When a guy wants to be a bimbo it's about escape and alternate personality, when a woman wants to be a bimbo it's about that, but it's also about humiliation - I like to play with class anxiety as well as "being seen as stupid" - there's something SO hot to me about taking a sophisticated person with her own aesthetic elitism and putting her in some dollar store whore getup.

Seriously, I like the kind of girl where making her buy 99 cent lipstick is a kind of punishment.

Why oh why did you have to put these ideas in my head! Yesterday I couldn't get the idea of the other half in my white mesh g-string scrubbing the floor with a brush gag attachment while I lazily lick a popsicle and create sticky mess.

Now I want a pretty little blonde thing. I wanna make her buy the cheap budget one ply toilet paper and plain box tampons. Scratch her pretty manicured nails and maybe bite a few of them off her. Make her wear crocs. Make her a fashion criminal

 

[IrisAlthea]

Why oh why did you have to put these ideas in my head! Yesterday I couldn't get the idea of the other half in my white mesh g-string scrubbing the floor with a brush gag attachment while I lazily lick a popsicle and create sticky mess.

Now I want a pretty little blonde thing. I wanna make her buy the cheap budget one ply toilet paper and plain box tampons. Scratch her pretty manicured nails and maybe bite a few of them off her. Make her wear crocs. Make her a fashion criminal

This made me think of this post from very long ago:
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=20016497&postcount=61

Making someone wear crocs though...

 

[Sweetzera]

When a guy wants to be a bimbo it's about escape and alternate personality, when a woman wants to be a bimbo it's about that, but it's also about humiliation - I like to play with class anxiety as well as "being seen as stupid" - there's something SO hot to me about taking a sophisticated person with her own aesthetic elitism and putting her in some dollar store whore getup.

Seriously, I like the kind of girl where making her buy 99 cent lipstick is a kind of punishment.

Interesting perspective. The brain is so mysterious.

 

[Ahlam]

Crocs?! Noooooooooooooooo!

 

[probus]

humiliation...

my thing is kneeling behind a Woman and eating her ass...

 

[Sweetzera]

Regulars!!!

Who has the best one so far. I a rolling here, but also turned on-so honest.

 

[Ropebunny]

This made me think of this post from very long ago:
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=20016497&postcount=61

Making someone wear crocs though...

This is why public humiliation is a hard limit for me. Crocs or hiking boots in a fancy restaurant, I just could not do it. I'd rather go barefoot. But that would still be bad. I prefer my personal humiliation to be a little more private. Could still involve crocs though.