Now this was really funny

Never evil

@}-}rebecca---- said:
Dear Mr Assassin

Respectfully were you born EVIL or is something you have carefully cultivated over time

Kind regards

@}-}rebecca----
Wickedness, like fine wine, grows richer over time.
 
@}-}rebecca---- said:
~Makes Note ~ Mr Assassin has an extensive Cellar.
No, a very selective palate/pallet. Pity about hard text. You can play with nuance so much better with the spoken word. Even more so with a slight, deliberate drawl.

i drink one wine only (and not often) but when i do drink, it's to the dregs.

In that, i find black humor, of the sweetest & most bitter varietal of all.
 
Last edited:
shy slave said:
OMG
Gracie, don't do it!


Have things got that bad!!

ps Blue suits you

:p

Yeah, you're not gonna fool people with that blue suit. We all know it's you. I'm taller that that. :p
 
OVERDOSE VICTIMS

I'm sending these graphic picture s of overdose victim s not for shock
value, but rather in the hope that you will have a frank discussion with
friends and family about respecting moderation, understanding limits, and
knowing when to just walk away. Remember...

This did NOT have to happen.
 
graceanne said:
OVERDOSE VICTIMS

I'm sending these graphic picture s of overdose victim s not for shock
value, but rather in the hope that you will have a frank discussion with
friends and family about respecting moderation, understanding limits, and
knowing when to just walk away. Remember...

This did NOT have to happen.

1. awwwwwww
2. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
3. hmmmn promising....
4. someone get a dog for that coat pronto.........never comfortable looking at this breed......think the breeders need a damn good slap for manipulating genetics to this extent

5. dang thats a Mother of a cat ..........intreaguing to look at but has to be abusive to feed an animal to this point
 
Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged

Schizophrenia -- Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality Disorder -- We Three Queens Disoriented Are

Amnesia -- I Don't Know if I'll be Home for Christmas

Narcissistic -- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

Manic -- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and
Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire
Hydrants and

Paranoid -- Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me

Borderline Personality Disorder -- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

Personality Disorder -- You Better Watch Out, I'm Going to Cry, I'm
Going to Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells

Agoraphobia -- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My
House

Autistic -- Jingle Bell Rock and Rock and Rock and Rock

Senile Dementia -- Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House In
My Slippers and Robe

Oppositional Defiant Disorder -- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House

Social Anxiety Disorder -- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While
I Sit Here and Hyperventilate
 
TNRkitect2b said:
Pastor Bemoans the Occult Influences in the Chronicles of Narnia

*wipes tears from eyes*

Ok, now this wacko says that the Narnia books and movie are laced with "a bewitching and a deceptive occult indoctrination."

This about a movie and a series of books that lay on the christian allegorical symbolism so thick that it makes some moderate christians give up in disgust.

Read and marvel at the quackery!

I'd laugh, but Dh's brother and sister have fallen prey to similar idiocy. They annually email me the Onion's "interview with J.K. Rowling" and exhort us to prevent the children coming in contact with such.

I blame moderate christians(myself included) for letting the brand be stolen by fundamentalists, or as I insist on calling them now... lesser christians.
 
TNRkitect2b said:
Pastor Bemoans the Occult Influences in the Chronicles of Narnia

*wipes tears from eyes*

Ok, now this wacko says that the Narnia books and movie are laced with "a bewitching and a deceptive occult indoctrination."

This about a movie and a series of books that lay on the christian allegorical symbolism so thick that it makes some moderate christians give up in disgust.

Read and marvel at the quackery!


That person is an outright idiot!!

And then when I read to the end I had to bow my head in shame. He lives in my state. :eek:
 
graceanne said:
Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged

Schizophrenia -- Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality Disorder -- We Three Queens Disoriented Are

Amnesia -- I Don't Know if I'll be Home for Christmas

Narcissistic -- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

Manic -- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and
Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire
Hydrants and

Paranoid -- Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me

Borderline Personality Disorder -- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

Personality Disorder -- You Better Watch Out, I'm Going to Cry, I'm
Going to Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells

Agoraphobia -- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My
House

Autistic -- Jingle Bell Rock and Rock and Rock and Rock

Senile Dementia -- Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House In
My Slippers and Robe

Oppositional Defiant Disorder -- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House

Social Anxiety Disorder -- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While
I Sit Here and Hyperventilate

ROFL

:D
 
TNRkitect2b said:
Pastor Bemoans the Occult Influences in the Chronicles of Narnia

*wipes tears from eyes*

Ok, now this wacko says that the Narnia books and movie are laced with "a bewitching and a deceptive occult indoctrination."

This about a movie and a series of books that lay on the christian allegorical symbolism so thick that it makes some moderate christians give up in disgust.

Read and marvel at the quackery!

Talk about paranoia. Reminds me. I was listening to the radio the other day and their was this song on about a single mother who gets a flat. The guy who's changing her flat asks if she's got kids and the song goes at that point

'she could have lied, but she didn't have time. All she said was 'she's five'. He said 'i saw the car seat, I love kids, does she have your eyes?'

This chick called the radio station to say they shouldn't play that song cause the guy is obviously a child molester. Otherwise why would he want to know what color her eyes are. :rolleyes:
 
graceanne said:
Talk about paranoia. Reminds me. I was listening to the radio the other day and their was this song on about a single mother who gets a flat. The guy who's changing her flat asks if she's got kids and the song goes at that point

'she could have lied, but she didn't have time. All she said was 'she's five'. He said 'i saw the car seat, I love kids, does she have your eyes?'

This chick called the radio station to say they shouldn't play that song cause the guy is obviously a child molester. Otherwise why would he want to know what color her eyes are. :rolleyes:

:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

And they think people in the BDSM world are freaks!!!
 
Christmas patience test

Wrapping Presents (With a Cat)

1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.
2. Go to wardrobe and collect bag in which present is contained, and
close door.
3. Open door and remove cat from wardrobe.
4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.
5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.
6. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons,
scissors, labels, etc.
7. Lay out present and wrapping materials on table, to enable
wrapping strategy to be formed.
8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the
drawer since last visit, and collect string.
9. Remove present from bag.
10. Remove cat from bag.
11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.
12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.
13. Cut the paper to size, trying to keep the cutting line straight.
14. Throw away first sheet because cat tried to chase the scissors
and tore the paper.
15. Cut second sheet of paper to size by putting cat in the bag the
present came out of.
16. Place present on cut-to-size paper.
17. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present, wonder why edges now
don't reach, and find cat between present and paper. Remove cat and
retry.
18. Place object on paper, to hold in place, while cutting
transparent sticky tape.
19. Spend next 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent
sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.
20. Seal paper down with transparent sticky tape, making corners as
neat as possible.
21. Look for roll of ribbon; chase cat down hall and
retrieve ribbon.
22. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.
23. Re-roll up ribbon and remove paper that is now torn,
due to cat's enthusiasm in chasing ribbon end.
24. Repeat steps 12-22 until down to last sheet of paper.
25. Decide to skip steps 12-16 in order to save time and reduce risk
of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that you
know is right size for sheet of paper.
26. Put present in box, and tie down with string.
27. Remove string, open box and remove cat.
28. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for lockable room.
29. Once inside room, lock door and start to re-lay out packing materials.
30. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close
door and re-lock.
31. Lay out last sheet of paper. (Admittedly this is difficult in the
small area of the toilet, but try your best!)
32. Seal box, wrap with paper and start repairs by very carefully
sealing down tears with transparent sticky tape. Now tie up with
ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst affected areas.
33. Label, then sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulating
yourself on making good of a bad job.
34. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.
35. Spend next 15 minutes looking for cat, before coming to obvious conclusion.
36. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.
37. Retrieve all discarded sheets of wrapping paper, feed cat and
retire to lockable room for last attempt, making certain you are
alone and the door is locked.
38. At time of handing over present, smile sweetly at receiver's face, as
they try to hide their contempt at being handed such a badly wrapped present.
39. Swear to yourself that next year, you will get the store to wrap
the darn thing for you.


Warning: I cannot be held accountable for the above message as apparently
my cat has learned how to type!
 
graceanne said:
LOL YOu gotta start posting spew alerts with these things!

I agree with gracie, once again I have a monitor covered with tea and a son looking at me in a strange 'do i call the men in white coats' way as I laugh out loud whilst reading the cat and wrapping presents instructions.
:)
 
Number of physicians in the U.S. : 700,000
Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year : 120,000
Accidental deaths per physician : 0.171
Number of gun owners in the U.S. : 80,000,000
Number of accidental gun deaths per year
(all age groups) : 1,500
Accidental deaths per gun owner : 0.0000188

Therefore, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than
gun owners.

Benton County NewsTribune on the 1999-11-17
 
shy slave said:
I agree with gracie, once again I have a monitor covered with tea and a son looking at me in a strange 'do i call the men in white coats' way as I laugh out loud whilst reading the cat and wrapping presents instructions.
:)

It reminded me of wrapping presents with a two year old. Very similar, excpet that with two year olds then you gotta hide the present or they'll open them. I do my wrapping on christmas eve, after the kids go to sleep, for that reason.
 
Back
Top