Not sure where to place this thread (please read though)

[VirginDebs]

Help with a Problem

As you can see from my nick, I'm still a virgin.
I've been looking on-line for a guy to take my virginity, but then realised how stupid and dangerous that is.
I am great friends with a 43year old guy at college. Hes not very attractive...long curly hair, big bushy beard etc, but is a great friend. Hes been flirting with me a bit, and I thought...what the heck? if hes up for sex with an 18year old, then at least that way I can loose my virginity! So I sent him a txt and asked if he was up for it. When I sent the txt I got a knot in my stomach and felt really nervous. He told me face to face that yes he was up for it, he was shocked by the offer, but said I could go over to his on Saturday. We spent last night txting, talking about Saturday, a lot of sex talk etc.
Now, I'm really excited and I cant wait to finally loose it...but my 2 best friends are telling me how wrong it is and not to go through with it.
I was wondering what every1s views on this are? I'm not asking for a 'should I do it or not' answer, cos I know thats only something I can decide. But I'd just like opinions.
Thanks.
Love, Debs
xxx

 

[lick me twice]

Re: Help with a Problem

As you can see from my nick, I'm still a virgin.
I've been looking on-line for a guy to take my virginity, but then realised how stupid and dangerous that is.
I am great friends with a 43year old guy at college. Hes not very attractive...long curly hair, big bushy beard etc, but is a great friend. Hes been flirting with me a bit, and I thought...what the heck? if hes up for sex with an 18year old, then at least that way I can loose my virginity! So I sent him a txt and asked if he was up for it. When I sent the txt I got a knot in my stomach and felt really nervous. He told me face to face that yes he was up for it, he was shocked by the offer, but said I could go over to his on Saturday. We spent last night txting, talking about Saturday, a lot of sex talk etc.
Now, I'm really excited and I cant wait to finally loose it...but my 2 best friends are telling me how wrong it is and not to go through with it.
I was wondering what every1s views on this are? I'm not asking for a 'should I do it or not' answer, cos I know thats only something I can decide. But I'd just like opinions.
Thanks.
Love, Debs
xxx

Chose someone you know and are comfortable with. The fact that he's older may help as well, In my exsperiance , Older Guys are gentler and spend more time getting you excited.

 

[Filly Gal]

Girl! Don't let being 18 and horny cause you to make a bad choice.

The guy is 45 and last got laid in 1995?

The save yourself for a true love is a bunch of romantic BS!

Your first time should be of mutual fun, desire, lust and passion. Not with some 19 year old drunk moron college guy slobbering all over you.

Certainly not with some 45 year old guy that needs to shave, lose 20 pounds and wants to play sexual Daddy!

If you stepped back from this would you REALLY want in a few years look back and say this was a "good" choice for you??

Think this through and honor yoursef with your choice!!

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

Debs, I understand your desire to feel the power of love as well as see where you would rather have someone who is experienced to be your first time lover, but are you sure this is what you really wish to do? With this man? Yes, he's been a friend, but what is his agenda? Is it out of his friendship for you that he is offering to be your first? Or, is it to feed his ego so that he can brag to his friends he laid an 18 yr. old?
I dunno Deb, being the age of this guy, I question his motivation. I applaud you for not wanting some drunken 10 year old peer, pawing all over you and not taking the time to introduce you to the joys of sex, but I also wonder what this man is about.
Take it slowly, is the advise I offer and please! If you go thru with this, no matter what he might say... make him use condoms!!! You don't know where he's been and what he might have; I'd hate the thought of your explorations costing more than your virginity. Life has only begun for you m'dear, don't throw it away for nowt.
*I'm not saying yea or nay, only to step outside of your desires and look with a critical eye at the possible motivations, k?
peace VDebs

~kym~ voice of experience
** There's no shame in remaining a virgin, btw.

 

[VirginDebs]

Thanks for every1s replys.

Dont worry, I have a pack of condoms and wont let him do anything without them! (Well, I'll do a blow job without one...I prefer to swallow!).

I'll be honest...he doesnt know Im a virgin yet. I dont wanna tell him before the day, in case he turns round and says he doesnt wanna do anything. Was maybe thinking of telling him Sat, when we're together.

 

[VirginDebs]

Just a quick bump

 

[irishguy2004]

good luck

Just a quick bump

Hiyta Debs,

Hope it works out for u..
Dont be rushed into it though...
xxxx

 

[VirginDebs]

nah dont worry, I wont let him force me in2 anything I dont wanna do.

I just dont know how 2 go about telling him Im a virgin...

 

[VirginDebs]

Wut shud I do about the virginity matter?

 

[VirginDebs]

Shud I tell him? Or let him find out himself?

 

[WantonWitch]

You're right only you can make the decision, but some of the above folks have made some very valid points. Only if you truly feel you are not going to look back on this as a mistake should you go through with it.
Being a virgin at 18 isn't a problem you need to get rid of like split ends. Be very sure it's what you really want to do.

Good luck whatever you decide

 

[Stryderthorongil]

Hi VirginDebs,

Interesting question you have posed here. Not sure you want it, but just an opinion from a guy. Losing your virginity, for a guy or a girl, is not a prize or a package you give to someone else. It is really something you give to yourself. It is something, that should include flirting, romance, seduction, and friendship. It should involve trust above all else. Ask yourself, is this somebody who can be your friend beyond the sexual experience? Why do you need to lose your virginity in the first place? Peer pressure? All good questions, but what is comes down to is what is best for you. To be honest, if I was your 43 year old friend, a true friend, I would have told you no, unless there was a true attraction and romance between us. I like looking back on my first experience with a smile, and knowing that she is still a very good friend (and no, I am not married to her).

Ultimately it is up to you. As far as telling him? What ever makes you feel comfortable. Perhaps you will rethink things if you tell him and watch his reaction.

By the way, STD's can be transmitted orally too, so be careful out there.

Stryder

 

[VirginDebs]

Its tomorrow and I'm getting nervous...

 

[kikmosa]

Its tomorrow and I'm getting nervous...

Definetly tell him before, he needs to know so that he doesn't hurt you. By letting him find out for himself you could end up in a lot of pain. Not the way you want to remember your first. I also agree with the others, be careful and make sure this is really what you want. The first time should be a beautiful thing you can treasure for all of your life.

 

[ElusivButterfly]

I don't know but when I go through your posts and you state that you lied when you joined Lit (you were 16/17), that you are a submissive and looking for a master, give blow jobs and the like, asking for anyone to come "do" you basically, well it just makes me wonder.


Where is your head at?

 

[VirginDebs]

I am submissive, Id like a Master. I have given blowjobs and I was looking for someone to take my virginity.
So why are you on about?

 

[ElusivButterfly]

I am submissive, Id like a Master. I have given blowjobs and I was looking for someone to take my virginity.
So why are you on about?

Well why didn't you just get one of you b/f's to do it? I am just wondering why you would go on the internet when you obviously have guys right there where you are? Why look for total stranger for you to give something that, once it is gone, will be gone forever? AND why take a chance on messing up a friendship by having sex? Sorry but I know no 18 yr. olds who could honestly handle a friendship with benefits. It is difficult for alot of people much older than you are and who knows if this guy could handle that either?

 

[Stryderthorongil]

Well why didn't you just get one of you b/f's to do it? I am just wondering why you would go on the internet when you obviously have guys right there where you are? Why look for total stranger for you to give something that, once it is gone, will be gone forever? AND why take a chance on messing up a friendship by having sex? Sorry but I know no 18 yr. olds who could honestly handle a friendship with benefits. It is difficult for alot of people much older than you are and who knows if this guy could handle that either?

I have to agree with ElusivButterfly.

Stryder

 

[VirginDebs]

because Ive only ever had 1 boyfriend and sex just didnt happen there.
Im not attractive which is why Ive not managed 2 pull any1 my age.
If we loose each others friendship, then thats our problem isnt it.

 

[WantonWitch]

because Ive only ever had 1 boyfriend and sex just didnt happen there.
Im not attractive which is why Ive not managed 2 pull any1 my age.
If we loose each others friendship, then thats our problem isnt it.

Hold on there honey, calling yourself unattractive won't help your self esteem much, which in turn won't let you give out the right image to others. Feeling happy with yourself is a great part of sexual attraction to others.
Also as discussed in another thread elsewhere being able to converse is also preferred over model girl/boy looks and an empty space between the ears.

As for the boyfriend, maybe he wasn't ready to. Guys do get the same insecurities as we do you know.

You sound like you are already starting to think twice about what's going to happen. Don't go through with it unless you are 100% sure it's what you want.

 

[ElusivButterfly]

because Ive only ever had 1 boyfriend and sex just didnt happen there.
Im not attractive which is why Ive not managed 2 pull any1 my age.
If we loose each others friendship, then thats our problem isnt it.

Sex didn't happen?...you mean you giving blow jobs and liking to swallow and such isn't sex (unless you lied about all that too)? You are proving my point...that along with the fact that you now seem to be getting a lil attitude because you don't like what you hear/read, you are not mature. I have kids much older than you so I know what I am talking about when I say you do not seem mature enough to handle it. Yes your friendship is yours, but if you don't want opinions or comments then why broad cast yourself here?

I know you don't want to hear all this but...YOU are the one who came to an open forum and asked for opinions...I am giving mine....but no one says you have to like it.

 

[VirginDebs]

Yes I know I gave blowjobs, I mean we didnt have sexual intercourse!

I just didnt think they'd be any stuck-up people here. I was asking for help, not criticism.

 

[ElusivButterfly]

Yes I know I gave blowjobs, I mean we didnt have sexual intercourse!

I just didnt think they'd be any stuck-up people here. I was asking for help, not criticism.

I am not trying to criticise you. I am just hoping you will see more than what is right in front of you. I am about as open-minded as they get, far from stuck-up. From what I can see though, you just want to see/hear what you want and if someone isn't right in line with you, then they are stuck-up? I just happen to think your making a mistake...Maybe it is the Mother in me that wants you to think everything out completely so you don't hurt yourself (which is where I see you heading) is all. Emotional trauma is far worse than some person slapping you...

 

[VirginDebs]

It went great...we didnt go 'all the way' but did a lot of foreplay.
He is very trustworthy, and was honest with me and told me he was having doubts aswell.
I'm seeing him again Sunday night.

 

[dr.bong]

from a guy

Don't just do it, for the sake of doing it. Wait until you feel like you really want to, and to be with someone you really want to.

let me know what happens