Not Quite Sadism...

[SexyCleric]

So, I have an inquiry, and I couldn't phrase it correctly for google, so I bring to your wise selves... What does one call themselves when they take pleasure and satisfaction from inflicting fear on others? To keep things simple, I'd usually just say I'm a sadist, but it's not quite accurate enough... It's not the pain I get off on, but the fear I see in her eyes when she looks at me, if that makes sense.

If I were Batman, I'd have a hard-on for the vast majority of any given night.

Phobophiliac is the closest I've managed. Anyway, who has a good term, or a similar interest?

 

[Loverskitten]

So, I have an inquiry, and I couldn't phrase it correctly for google, so I bring to your wise selves... What does one call themselves when they take pleasure and satisfaction from inflicting fear on others? To keep things simple, I'd usually just say I'm a sadist, but it's not quite accurate enough... It's not the pain I get off on, but the fear I see in her eyes when she looks at me, if that makes sense.

If I were Batman, I'd have a hard-on for the vast majority of any given night.

Phobophiliac is the closest I've managed. Anyway, who has a good term, or a similar interest?

I think instilling fear falls under the Sadism umbrella, much like foreplay goes with sex. Some fear is part of the fun.
Why must we label everything anyway. If you have to call yourself something other than a Sadist, how about "a meanie" :wink:

 

[SexyCleric]

I think instilling fear falls under the Sadism umbrella, much like foreplay goes with sex. Some fear is part of the fun.
Why must we label everything anyway. If you have to call yourself something other than a Sadist, how about "a meanie" :wink:

Thanks, and you raise a valid point. Just found that people tend to get a bit on guard if you wear the sadist label.

I label everything because that grants you power over a thing! You name it; some part of it will always be yours. Also, yes, I have been called a meanie before. Feels good.

 

[LucyH]

I'd call it sadism, yeah. And for what it's worth, I enjoy both scaring people and hurting them, and they make me smile the same way.

 

[HottieMama]

Mental sadism...That's what I would call it...

 

[sereneone4u]

Yes, I say mental sadism too.

 

[PaulBlart]

Call it what you will, it does fall under the sadism umbrella. The pain inflicted on another can be physical, emotional, or a combination. Instilling fear in another underscores dominance over them. As with any kink, though, it's important that your partner is a willing participant. Especially with this. True fear sometimes means there is no consent or there is real life victimization. Tread lightly. Now, having been on the submissive side of things, I have been truly fearful in play sessions with a domina even though I was consenting to what happened to me. Having my mouth used to snuff out her lit cigarette being one example. I knew that I could use my safe word, but I chose to endure it.

 

[MichaelWest]

I knew that I could use my safe word, but I chose to endure it.

And that is the bar many dominants and/or sadists set for themselves. To lead one past where the bottom has set a limitation upon themselves they seek to break past. Physical, mental, emotional, all the points of departure and levers. Being a dominant in a relationship is hard but rewarding work, sadism is pure fun.

 

[Loverskitten]

Call it what you will, it does fall under the sadism umbrella. The pain inflicted on another can be physical, emotional, or a combination.

Yes, if it walks like a duck, etcetera.
Why would you feel better being called a "mental Sadist"? It's not just pain Sadists enjoy, humiliation, emotional, fear, it all goes together.
I remember the first time I was called a Sadist, I thought it was an insult. I argued with the name caller. But I DO enjoy the control, I do enjoy the flinching, and the fear.
Just the other night while chatting with a potential pet, he confessed to me that he gets very jealous, my mind immediately went to how I can exploit this... and the most cruel scenario popped in my head. Only then did I realize that I was so turned on my pussy had that throbbing ache. I knew I had to make this scene a reality.
Yep, I'm a Sadist, and a meanie. I say embrace it, say it proud, maybe we should have our own parade, ya know for community awareness and such (evil laugh)

 

[Pelagie]

I agree with Loverskitten. You're a sadist (nothing wrong that!) and you should embrace it so you can enjoy yourself.

 

[SexyCleric]

As with any kink, though, it's important that your partner is a willing participant.

Of course; that's rule one.

Plus, knowing the target is as excited by it as you are is part of the appeal.

[wistful] Why, I remember the first time I noticed how hot fear was; girlfriend at the time had done something inane to piss me off, and we started arguing. I lost my temper and punched the wall about three inches away from her face, breaking through the cheap drywall. She yelped and slid down the wall to her knees, and I distinctly remember her wide eyed look. It flipped a switch in me, and I started getting hard. Grabbed her by the arm, hauled her to her feet, spun her around and started pulling clothes off. Couldn't have been more than a minute later, I was balls deep. We both came harder than we had in a long damn time.

They say a little fear gets the heart pumping...

 

[eastern sun]

Of course; that's rule one.

Plus, knowing the target is as excited by it as you are is part of the appeal.

[wistful] Why, I remember the first time I noticed how hot fear was; girlfriend at the time had done something inane to piss me off, and we started arguing. I lost my temper and punched the wall about three inches away from her face, breaking through the cheap drywall. She yelped and slid down the wall to her knees, and I distinctly remember her wide eyed look. It flipped a switch in me, and I started getting hard. Grabbed her by the arm, hauled her to her feet, spun her around and started pulling clothes off. Couldn't have been more than a minute later, I was balls deep. We both came harder than we had in a long damn time.

They say a little fear gets the heart pumping...

This is my kind of kink! We spent the first year of our marriage this way.

My husband doesn't identify as a sadist, either, by the way. I'm not sure it matters.

 

[sereneone4u]

Of course; that's rule one.

Plus, knowing the target is as excited by it as you are is part of the appeal.

[wistful] Why, I remember the first time I noticed how hot fear was; girlfriend at the time had done something inane to piss me off, and we started arguing. I lost my temper and punched the wall about three inches away from her face, breaking through the cheap drywall. She yelped and slid down the wall to her knees, and I distinctly remember her wide eyed look. It flipped a switch in me, and I started getting hard. Grabbed her by the arm, hauled her to her feet, spun her around and started pulling clothes off. Couldn't have been more than a minute later, I was balls deep. We both came harder than we had in a long damn time.

They say a little fear gets the heart pumping...

Very hot

 

[SexyCleric]

This is my kind of kink! We spent the first year of our marriage this way.

My husband doesn't identify as a sadist, either, by the way. I'm not sure it matters.

It could matter. Who knows?
Ultimately, the label doesn't seem to be that large a concern, but dammit; I care.

Serene, I'm glad you like it.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I can relate to this idea because I have often wondered if I am truly masochistic. I am not sure if I like pain, but I do pursue fear.

 

[Pelagie]

That's something I've wondered too. I consider myself masochistic but I am not into pain. The idea of being flogged does nothing for me. Kaya recently posted a definition of masochism. This part stood out to me the most "a person who finds pleasure in self-denial, submissiveness, etc." So while I don't enjoy pain, I definitely find pleasure in submissiveness and the act of submitting to someone.

 

[PaulBlart]

That's something I've wondered too. I consider myself masochistic but I am not into pain. The idea of being flogged does nothing for me. Kaya recently posted a definition of masochism. This part stood out to me the most "a person who finds pleasure in self-denial, submissiveness, etc." So while I don't enjoy pain, I definitely find pleasure in submissiveness and the act of submitting to someone.

I'm also a masochist. I do find some types of pain incredibly arousing, but fear has no sexual component for me. Self-denial, yes!, submissiveness, definitely! We all have our own individual hard wiring. For me, even though something may not be arousing, the act of willingly submitting to it is important to me. As someone pointed out above, a good dominant will push us past where we perceived our comfort zone to be. I would never say I was comfortable with being a human ashtray or being smothered to the point of almost passing out, but I have submitted to it because it is what she wanted to do. Perhaps pain may not be your thing, but it is satisfying to your lover. Would it not be an act of submission to endure it for his/her pleasure? I think sometimes we, as submissives, try to control too much. To a certain extent, it has to be this way, because it isn't play if we aren't consenting. But by approaching a situation with the mindset that we are there for the other's pleasure and not the other way around, we open ourselves to new experiences and deepening of submission.

 

[Pelagie]

If I were to go into a pain-type scenario with the mindset (and that is most important, I think) that I was willing submitting myself for the pleasure of someone one(being whipped), then I know I would find pleasure in it. But from not the act of receiving pain, but from the act of submitting. I hope that makes sense. Being in pain is not a comfort zone thing for me. I just have very very very little interest in it. I've never submitted to anyone with an interest in causing me physical pain so the scenario above has yet to play out.