Normal? Fingering Issues.

[VoyageToBeyond]

fascinating thread to say the least - from history and the social construction of the hymen as a symbol of female purity to the politics of religion and sexuality! Never realized masturbation was so laden with meanings!

Is it that every time we masturbate it is a mode of resistance to American/Puritan norms? If so, it seems we have a hole army of guerilla rebels! lol

On that note, think I'll go find a good story to read!

 

[TheDivineRose]

In Psychology I learned that children go through a phase where they touch themselves (i think its 3-6) and parents are told to "redirect" them. That's why I had coloring books and television! Its perfectly natural for little children to want to explore their bodies; why do people talk it down? Nice point SubNebGuy.

Now if only someone could tell me why my male neutered cat keeps trying to get sexual at me -_-.

 

[aneverydaygent]

i agree. try really getting your self in the mood first... get really turned on, massage your breast, play with your clit, get your finger soaked before you even try to finger ur self... be above all, be relax and comfortable....
)

 

[SweetErika]

In Psychology I learned that children go through a phase where they touch themselves (i think its 3-6) and parents are told to "redirect" them. That's why I had coloring books and television! Its perfectly natural for little children to want to explore their bodies; why do people talk it down? Nice point SubNebGuy.

Now if only someone could tell me why my male neutered cat keeps trying to get sexual at me -_-.

From what I understand, children touch themselves from the time they are babies on up. They explore, it feels good, so they do it, unless/until they are taught it's bad/dirty/wrong.

I think we'd be a lot better off if parents taught their kids that it's perfectly fine and healthy for people to touch themselves and feel those feelings, but they should do it in a private setting. A lot of problems would be minimized or eliminated if we, as a culture, encouraged curiosity, openness and self-pleasure from the beginning in age-appropriate ways.

I can see redirecting a child's attention if they're touching themselves in public when they're too young to understand public vs. private, but at home, I don't see any reason to intervene in most cases.

 

[Eilan]

Keep in mind that if anything has ever gone inside you--just about anything, from tampons to exploratory fingers to OB/GYN implements--you are technically no longer a virgin.

Would you believe that speculum didn't even call the next day?

I'm still not over it.

 

[CWatson]

The speculum got your virginity and it didn't call?

...Dag, yo.

(...Though, I have to admit, it's slightly reassuring to hear that it's possible to out-asshole a guy. *wry smile*)

 

[infinity706]

fascinating thread to say the least - from history and the social construction of the hymen as a symbol of female purity to the politics of religion and sexuality! Never realized masturbation was so laden with meanings!

Is it that every time we masturbate it is a mode of resistance to American/Puritan norms? If so, it seems we have a hole army of guerilla rebels! lol

On that note, think I'll go find a good story to read!

If a puritan guy went on a date, he spent the night in bed with the woman. She just had to be tied up in cloth from the waist down. Not even today would you generally get to be in bed with every woman you date. Sometimes there was a board put in the middle to try and encourage things to not go beyond fondling, though. Now, I guess every date was amazing for any women that got off on having their tits played with. Saying the puritans were anti sex is a bit misleading. They were more against premarital pregnancy than sex play in general. Of course, when you did get married, you were legally entitled to get fucked a certain amount. If you didn't get your quota of fucking you could literally get it by court order.

 

[phelon]

on the orginal topic

IT sounds like you have mixed issues, some psychological, and some physical,
as a guy with many lady friends who have been through many sides of the issue... I recommend making sure your hymen is opened by the doctor if it isn;t already, that will remove the 'breaking' part of your first time and should hopefully give you one less worry about pain.

After that, well.. it sounds like you have had some real issues with 'morality' of a warped sense that based not only given you this fear of extreme pains, but quite possibly right and wrong of touching yourself. To work on this, you can try counseling. Other than that, find a good guy or girl... and enjoy it when it happens.

in the mean time, you might consider there are objects that can make adequate dildos any truely smooth somewhat round object starting at about 3/4 an inch diameter up to about an inch and half works.. usually 4 to 6 inches long.. if your worried and for easier clean up, put a condom on it. from pictures i have seen and ladies i have talked to, hairbrush handles are popular, also the handles for the kitchen spoons if they are round nor flat.

 

[Noira]

The hymen does not cover the entire entrance of your vagina. It is entirely possible to put a finger there or tampon or whatever and still have your hymen intact

And it's also very possible to break it on a tampon. I know I did. And various other women I know did.

Hymen does not = virginity. That's an ancient and STUPID idea, pardon my immaturity, to control women, I'd think. But it's possible to break it horseback riding, swimming, running, gymnastics... anything that involves vigorous leg movement can be enough to break your 'cherry'. For me, a wonderful combination of tampons (oh, the PAIN the first couple times I wore them) and pysical activity and fingering has worn my hymen down painlessly. I believe that for any woman, it should be that way. Why the hell should it have to HURT WHEN I HAVE SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME?

I'm a virgin, actually. I have no qualms with fingering. I know that the first time I wore a tampon it was indescribably painful, and then it stopped hurting a few times later, and well, if a guy is a douchebag enough to not want me because I've worn tampons, and things besides his dick have gone into my pussy, meh, he's not worth it.



I'm a virgin. I have not had sex with a man or a woman. Well, dang that thar tampon! I musta somehow had sex with it! I'm not a virgin because of it! Nah, virginity is a state of mind. If you haven't had sex, you're a virgin. Hey, some people are born without a hymen. =P

As for insertation, I couldn't stand using my fingers at first and started with a smooth, really really small SHAVER handle, and moved up to a TOOTHBRUSH, and then a couple sharpie markers, and then a hairbrush... quite like the hairbrush, myself. Don't feel you have to jam your fingers up there. Myself, I find it difficult to get a good orgasm without any insertation, and my fingers are usually around and all... Easier to clean too. I also suggest if you do try to play around with fingering, start in the shower. It removes the 'dirty' fear. We're taught and conditioned as children that down there is icky and being somewhere clean kind of helps that.

I never found I had any pain from fingering or any insertation play but it was likely because I worked up slowly... my hymen snapped on a tampon and what was left I didn't suddenly force to break with a huge object. Start small, get used to the sensations. It shouldn't HURT, if you're aroused enough. And goodness, don't go and stick random objects up there. I'd think the bacteria could cause pain. Heck, if your hands aren't clean...

I keep that hairbrush I use now CLEAN.

Masterbation is not devirginizing. Virginity is whether you've had sex with someone. Some people aren't even born with them. Does a guy lose his virginity if he tugs on his cock? I don't think so. So why should we lose ours if we try stick a finger or two in? EXACTLY! Same difference. Just try to not worry about it. There's a lot of conditioning that can prevent you from enjoying yourself. I know too many people who think it's disgusting. Poor people. =(

 

[sarod]

I'll mail you a toy if you send pics of yourself using it!

In Psychology I learned that children go through a phase where they touch themselves (i think its 3-6) and parents are told to "redirect" them. That's why I had coloring books and television! Its perfectly natural for little children to want to explore their bodies; why do people talk it down? Nice point SubNebGuy.

Now if only someone could tell me why my male neutered cat keeps trying to get sexual at me -_-.

 

[sarod]

You're 18, and you said you are to broke to buy a toy? By these things said, you are still at home with your parents? Talk them into buying some produce. Tell them you are hungry for cucumbers, zuccini, a banana, or if you really want to be stuffed, some corn on the cob! Peel the ears of their husks and corn silk, and go to town. The bumpy cob will add extra sensations. If the size scares you ( Corn is long and thick) then go for a small cucumber or a zuccini. Most zuccini bought in stores is fairly small. Just make sure to get any fuzz off of the zuccini, as it can irritate and pentrate the skin like a sliver of wood.

In Psychology I learned that children go through a phase where they touch themselves (i think its 3-6) and parents are told to "redirect" them. That's why I had coloring books and television! Its perfectly natural for little children to want to explore their bodies; why do people talk it down? Nice point SubNebGuy.

Now if only someone could tell me why my male neutered cat keeps trying to get sexual at me -_-.