Nonsmokers--Do you date smokers?

[BlondGirl]

Well?

 

[Mistress]

I'm dating one now...who happens to be smoking at the moment



It doesn't usually bother me, some times it makes me sick to my stomach, when that happens I tell him, or I go get some fresh air.

 

[Isolde]

You know, I dont know if indy smokes or not..

Not that it would matter to me at all...

 

[WriterDom]

Can't say I've dated very many smokers if any in the past 4 years. Not that I screen them, it just worked out that way. I'd rather not be around it at all.

 

[ohiobbw]

I find the smell of smoke disgusting and prefer not to date smokers. But if I find myself dating a smoker, I ask them not to smoke around me. (And they also know that if their breath smells like smoke, they won't be getting kissed either!)

 

[Morden]

I have been interested in a woman or two that smokes, but I have never gone out with one. I try not to cause I find it offencive.

 

[SpectreT]

No, I don't. Something about it just bothers me. the smell and taste of a smokers breath do make me nauseous, but it's more than that. Both my parents smoke, and that could be part of it, too.

I dunno.

 

[Angel]

I've dated them before I smoked, and when I've quit.

I'm not going to turn down someone who could possibly be the best thing that happened to me over a cigarette.

Of course, I smoke. So it's a non-issue.

 

[Laurel]

My dad smoked. He'd smoke with us kids in the car with the windows rolled up, in the living room, at dinner time. My clothes always smelled of smoke just from the smoke present in the house. I had red, puffy eyes & a chronic head cold throughout my childhood. Two months after I moved out, the symptoms disappeared completely. I felt wonderful! There's no way I'd go back to living like that.

I have friends who smoke. I don't mind being with smokers outside in the air. I don't think less of smokers (though it IS bad for your health, you naughty folks!). I respect people's right to smoke. I've casually dated a couple smokers. But I would never get seriously involved with a smoker. It's not worth it.

 

[Barb Dwyer]

Smokers don't bother me. But I seriously doubt that I could kiss someone who chewed tobacco.

 

[lavender]

 

[Fenix]

I think it would be stupid to miss out on what could be a great thing over such a stupid thing like if she smokes or not.

 

[Desert Amazon]

 

[lilfrk]

I have asthma because I grew up in a house with smokers. So I'd never date one. I can't imagine sticking my tongue in a smokers mouth, sorry I just can't. Besides I'm married, I'm not allowed to date anymore.

 

[freakygirl]

i'm a smoker, but.. i hate the smell.. especially in a house.. i don't smoke in my car, in my house, around my husband nor my kids.. hell.. i'm starting to wonder why i even bother.. i mean.. 1 pack lasts me.. a week or more.. unless i'm outside and working in the yard.. then i tend to smoke more.. thank god i'm in Washington state where it rains so much, and i can't get outside much..

after having a cig i make sure that i don't smell of it, i use febreeze on my clothes (kinda like a perfume, but it's a fresh clean smell, not a perfume over cig smoke smell) and i brush my teeth each time too.. so my hubby who doesn't like the smell at all.. doesn't have to feel like he is kissing an ashtray..

 

[Laurel]

Fenix, I don't totally agree...For some people, smoking's not a big issue so it shouldn't keep them away from their dream dude/chick. But for me it is a big issue. I do not want to breathe it in my house. I do not want that smell in my furniture. I don't want to be sick all of the time. At the same time, I would never want to force my SO to go outside every time he smoked, like it's some dirty secret. That wouldn't be fair to him. So I would not be a perfect match for a smoker. We would both end up bitter and unhappy - me at having to be around smoke, him at having to hide it all the time.

I'm at a point in my life where I won't settle for "chemistry". If I was suddenly single and was looking for someone, I would want someone with whom I'm compatible on a number of levels, not just sexually. They'd have to be someone I could live with happily, and part of that involves me living in a nonsmoking environment.

When I was younger, I (like many young chicks) put up with a lot because I was so blinded by my infatuation for whatever guy I liked at that minute. I put up with guys who were selfish and rude - not just to me, but to others. Guys who would've scoffed at my current kitty rescue efforts. Guys who would be late CONSTANTLY. Guys who would get annoyed if I showed up at his house with no makeup. Guys who were proudly ignorant and illiterate (but great in bed!). Guys with weird anger issues.

Frankly, I'm too old to be bending over backwards in compromise. I've got a life I enjoy. If I were suddenly single and wanted to bring a man in, that man would have to fit into my life. We'd have to have enough in common that living together would be a comfortable fit, not a forced thing. The smoking thing is important to me. It's not "stupid", not to me at least. Being around smoke affects my health. It makes me unhappy.

If that sounds selfish, oh well. There are too many people (women especially) who are so afraid of being "selfish" that they put up with things they hate until they become bitter, angry people who lash out at their SO like they're the enemy...even though it was the person him/herself who chose to be in that relationship.

Too many people will do "anything" for their mates in the midst of being in love, then when the hormone tide goes out they find themselves living with someone they cannot stand. You have to be honest with yourself about your own needs, and be honest with your partner about those needs as well. And he or she should be just as honest and forthright as you are. There will always be little differences that can be worked out, but if there's serious issues that can't be worked through then it's sometimes best to let it go rather than live together in misery. It's even better if you know about these things ahead of time, rather than waiting till your clothes are in his closet (or vice versa).

Luckily, I have an awesome guy who is my best friend as well as my lover, and a nonsmoker to boot. If he started smoking (which isn't likely to happen) I would still love him and would stick by him. But I wouldn't start a serious relationship with a smoker any more than I'd start one with a guy who hated animals - even if all other things were "perfect".

 

[beckbabe]

I didn't vote, because I smoke, however, I don't like men who smoke. Go figure.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

I'm a smoker, or an almost former smoker. For a few years I only dated other smokers. But in the last 3-4 years I have only dated non-smokers.

I am incredibly cautious when I'm around my significant other about smoking. I try my best to get rid of the smell and taste. It's just part of being polite.

Thats the way it should be too

 

[Jaded Eyes]

I have dated a smoker before, but she was quitting for me, and I kind of fell for her before I knew. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't though...

 

[registered "^^"]

yes

 

[Angelus]

Yes.... I do, and it doesn't bother me in the least. It is her choice and I am not going to tell her to stop just because of me.

And anyway, the best thing I can do is if it bothers me take a step outside and get a breath of fresh air.