Non-hand, Masterbation Poll. What have you tried/liked?

[Sparky Kronkite]

Not with a partner and besides you hands?

What has gotten you off?

What device?

What has rubbed you the right way?

 

[Todd]

Mowing the lawn on the rideon mower while naked always gets me off

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

I first felt the wonderful spine-tingles.......

In my youthful hard and reddened dick......

While climbing a rope. But never got off on that.

Next was the handle of the lawn mower - got off on that, was great - but.....

My mom's early/mid-sixties - belt-type exercise machine - turned on of course and me facing backwards i it - with the belt running across the underside of my dick (instead of my ass - which was what you were supposed to do, shake the weight off you see) - and I could apply presure by leaning into it.......

Ladies and gentlemen - I tell'ya - you should find on of these babies on e-bay or dig it out of your parents attic - they are great!!!!!

When I came - especially at that age - the vibration of the belt - flung my spunk all over my parents bedroom.

It was something!!!!

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

C'mon more votes.

.

 

[unusuallyconfused]

Riding on a Harley at a highly revved second shift!!!!!!!!

It's a very vibrating experience.......

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

I'l bet. Did you?

Spooge the seat?

 

[unusuallyconfused]

Ummmmmmmmmm Yep!

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Geesh girl!!!

I wished I could've sniffed it.

 

[unusuallyconfused]

I heard you were the KING Sniffer.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Yeah - you are so right.

Here's my theory.

Generally - women like funny, witty dudes.

But hey - they're all the same, lame shit - right.

So ya gotta be different.

And if you can throw sex into the conversation - in a humorous way without being too blatant - well - you go for it.

AND -

I think most women (not all but most) really like a guy to "go down" back there - you know, provided all is clean and all.

So I figure - I can make this stupid joke, in a slightly sexually charged way - give her the ole sly wink and then, just maybe - latter.......

She'll take me up on it - just to get me back there.

Of course once that happens - the rest will be history.

 

[*bratcat*]

Shower Massagers...

 

[Svedish_Chef]

You are missing Vacuum cleaner
and Blow up doll

Sparkmeister what ARE you thinking?

 

[Barb Dwyer]

OTHER

The stick shift on a manual transmission vehicle... it drives me crazy. (And you thought cell phone users were dangerous!)

A tip of the hat to those vegans on the other thread, but why has no one mentioned the true value of vegetables? How about zucchini, cucumbers, bananas, artichokes? Now you know why your mother always said "Don't play with your vegetables!"

Then there's my personal favorite, Mr. Microphone. Not only does it amplify my orgasms, it reverberates!

 

[Always]

one last post before i leave....

you know those tubes that mini m&m's come in? the long ones are perfect. my steamroller *snicker* (yes i'd rather fuck myself with my steamroller than smoke out of it what does that tell you?) is the Lady's gift to this crazy girl known as me.

cucumbers. i eat them afterwards; it's my favorite kind of dressing... *sighs*

 

[Valdimer]

strawberry scented ass, dont ask.........tightest little thing too......

 

[ohiobbw]

I have this little vibrating ball. I have no Idea what it's supposed to be used for really. Someone got it as a gag gift! It's given me many, many good times!

Sparky, my parents used to have one of those belt thingys too. But at the time, I was too young and innocent to think of any interesting ways to use it!

 

[bluntforcemama]

Duh... lawnmower, what do you think this is? Bush Country?

 

[Mistress]

I've used pill bottle
A travel tooth brush case
Flashlight (Small thin one)
And the best: A wooden stand up paper towel holder.

Hey, when your in the mood and its the right shape then go for it

 

[KillerMuffin]

If my brain is sufficiently into it, I don't require manual stimulation to cum. So I would have to say the computer. Look Sparky, no hands!

 

[Problem Child]

Re: OTHER

A tip of the hat to those vegans on the other thread, but why has no one mentioned the true value of vegetables? How about zucchini, cucumbers, bananas, artichokes? Now you know why your mother always said "Don't play with your vegetables!"

An artichoke?

What's your pussy made of...high density polyethylene?

 

[Barb Dwyer]

No. It's like buttah.

Perfect for dipping, PC.

 

[Problem Child]

Wow, spiny leaves and all?

 

[Barb Dwyer]

That leaves me hurting. Artichokes are supposed to have hearts.

Would my attempt at humor have been more successful had I chosen acorn squash? Or is that "nuts"?

 

[Problem Child]

Forget the artichokes. Stick with zucchini.

Like buttah, eh?

Nice...very nice.

 

[MrBates]

Favorite Dressing.....

cucumbers. i eat them afterwards; it's my favorite kind of dressing... *sighs*

Would LOVE to share a salad with you sometime.......