No Topic

[Guest]

No sweets, the paper towels.

Oh, you mean kitchen roll!

 

[ABSTRUSE]

tell me you wouldnt kiss laurens ass and ill lick your toes

Who wouldn't kiss her ass? duh.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Okay. It is 3:11 a.m. here in Texas, USA and I'm sitting on the back patio with my laptop. (I love wireless.) Sitting here, being cool, minding my own business and writing and what walks around the corner?

Guess...







Go ahead and take your time...







You'll never ever guess...






Give up?






A fucking SKUNK!

Yes, go on and laugh your pretty asses off. Skittish little fucker too. I saw him and decided, "Okay Lucky, you're in a pickle. If you frighten the damn thing he'll spray and you'll smell worse than a cow's ass for at least a week." So what do I do? I sit very still of course and eye the ugly bastard. He sniffs around the patio and stops in front of the grill to check me out.

Guess he figured I was harmless (shows you what stupid fucks they are) and went on about sniffing the patio. I was instant messaging with someone and when I went to respond, the noise of my fingers hitting the keys caused him to raise his tail and I froze, holding my breath. He let his tail down slowly and went on about the sniffing.

I slowly and quietly exhale and tentatively take a sniff. Nothing. "Thank God!" I say to myself and return to the screen, typing as softly as is humanly possible. Then what happens? A gentle breeze drifts across and the distinct smell of skunk spray enters my nose. "Damn, Damn, Damn!" I think loudly inside my head but am outwardly silent.

After a moment I realize that it was just a small spray and I decide that typing is dangerous. So here I sat and watch the ugly rodent sniff around and then you want to know what he does? Of course you do, or you wouldn't still be here reading this. He starts walking toward me! I'm in a patio chair with my feet propped up on another patio chair and that nasty ass thing walked right under my legs!



My lungs begin to ache and I realize I'm again holding my breath. He passes by without incident and then decides to have a snack of cat food that is sitting about eighteen inches away from the bottom of my chair. Good grief! So I sit here. Ten minutes that little bastard sits perched (ass toward me of course) at the cat dish, stealing MY cat's food.

(I am so damn glad I can't hear you all laughing your asses off. That would just really send me over the edge.)

So I'm sitting here, can't type, can't get up to pee which I desperately need to do all of a sudden, am afraid to let the legs of my chair down (I always sit leaned back on two legs) and he dines quite happily right beside me. I think to myself, "This is a sign. An omen. But what in the hell does it mean?"

Then I have a flash of anger because I don't have my digital camera out here with me. (Sadly, I normally do. I'm rarely without a camera of some sort.) And then my angel smiles on me. I look to my right and there beside me on the table is my new cell phone. COMPLETE WITH CAMERA!! Ha Ha Ha, ya little fucker! Lucky will have the last laugh on your ass tonight, because without the picture, no one would hav ever believed this way too long tale.

Flip the lid on the phone, snapped three pictures of his ugly ass and felt quite smug all the while. He finally finished and wandered off into the yard. So that is my No Topic for this evening. I hope you all burn for laughing at my unfortunate circumstances this evening and I will send myself the photos, resize them and post them tomorrow.

Ta!

~lucky

 

[Guest]

A fucking SKUNK!


~lucky

just so you remember... skunks are wonderful things:

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I'll believe it when I see the photos.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Having a little bit of a HTML Hell over there, Vella?

 

[neonlyte]

Wonderful Lucky!

or is that

Wonderful, Lucky.

Looking forward to the pics.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

New poem is up!

 

[Guest]

Having a little bit of a HTML Hell over there, Vella?

yep.. working on putting things into tables.. dont seem to work as well here on lit as they do on my other pages.. hrm.. i shall overcome!

 

[Lauren Hynde]

yep.. working on putting things into tables.. dont seem to work as well here on lit as they do on my other pages.. hrm.. i shall overcome!

If you need help, let me know.

 

[Guest]

If you need help, let me know.

yep, PM on its way.. im flubbin big time.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I can see

 

[Guest]

I can see

i think the problem is that i cut and paste my code from an outside editor.. notepad.. and it included spaces here on lit and lit read them as line breaks.. still modifying

 

[minsue]

I'll believe it when I see the photos.

After the earlier cat fight, I already believe it.


If it helps, I'm too sleepy still to laugh out loud, Lucky. I just grinned really big throughout your post.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

i think the problem is that i cut and paste my code from an outside editor.. notepad.. and it included spaces here on lit and lit read them as line breaks.. still modifying

On top of that, there's the font size thingy. I fixed it (on the txt file attached - just copy/paste) but really, I don't see much benefit of using a table, with the layout you chose. There's only 1 thing on the right side, and that would have worked better is it was in a continuous line with the elements from the left...

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Well, my night sucked, I would have worn Lucky's skunk like a mink stole and paraded naked through town. It would have been more fun.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Hi, Abs.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Hi, Abs.

Hi sweets,

 

[minsue]

Hi, Abs.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Well, my night sucked, I would have worn Lucky's skunk like a mink stole and paraded naked through town. It would have been more fun.

Cheer up sexy. It's a beautiful day and you're here with us, what could be better? (Don't answer that.)

 

[cantdog]

Aww, Abs

Did you have better expectations of the night?

I love the skunk parade image, though. Give the skunk a cigar, too.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Re: Aww, Abs

Did you have better expectations of the night?

I love the skunk parade image, though. Give the skunk a cigar, too.

Thanks Cantdog. Well I did have a good day, so I just expected a night that was likewise, oh well.

Hey, I meant to tell you, I really like your AV.
How are things up north? This is a busy time up there isn't it?

 

[Guest]

Well, my night sucked, I would have worn Lucky's skunk like a mink stole and paraded naked through town. It would have been more fun.

Sweetheart, I've only just seen this.

Apologies for being sickeningly annoying with my OTT PMs.

Lou

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Sweetheart, I've only just seen this.

Apologies for being sickeningly annoying with my OTT PMs.

Lou

Lou, I always love your PM's, no apologies allowed.
~A~

 

[Guest]