No Love Lost- A Story of Lit-Ex's

[PinkInPink]

At some point, if you hang around long enough, everyone here will fall in love, have a thing, or cyber with someone else here. It's inevitable. Likewise, the end of said togetherness is often a foregone conclusion.

Let's talk about it.

Do you have a Lit ex who left a particular impression on you, good or bad? Someone who taught you things about yourself, or helped you realize things you don't want to be a part of? Share it with us. Name names if you'd like, keep it to yourself if you'd prefer, but let's hear your experiences.

 

[PinkInPink]

Though I haven't posted for a long time, I've lurked on and off for a while and am just now feeling comfortable enough to come out of the room I walled myself into.
One of the first people I met here was a gentleman who is no more (here). He took me under his wing and kind of showed me around here. He was polite and funny and caring and made me his priority.
Eventually, as apparently these things do, we met in person. There were no surprises, we were both what we were expecting, and things worked well. We didn't share any physical intimacy until we had met a few more times, and then... magic.
Because we were so far apart, we maintained a long distance relationship, both in real life and here. As my alter ego, we had an understanding that what happened on the boards stayed on the boards.
Unfortunately, being a woman, I got overly protective. He was a flirt, with any woman who crossed his path. In hindsight, it was harmless. He was just a genuinely funny and caring guy who liked women to feel good about themselves. Now, I realize he never would have stepped out on me, but my insecurities got the better of me and I drove him away.
If ever there was something I regret....
He doesn't take my calls or respond to my emails, which I guess is fair considering the things I said to him.
Anyway, I guess this is me openly apologizing and hoping he's still lurking about. If you read this J, I'm sorry for everything and hope you're well.

 

[LikeableMe]

I no longer let people on here get close to me, or anyone in life actually! But I found a “professional” friendship with one guy, with whom I discussed issues he was having at work, and the changes I was trying to make with mine. He suddenly disappeared. Disappointed, as friends are few and far between these days, but I wasn’t broken by it. That was a little over a year ago now! I still wonder how he’s doing occasionally.

Had one guy keep trying to pull me into a relationship, without even trying to get to know me first. So I may have annoyed him, but I’m very guarded, until I really know someone. You can’t commit to someone who won’t even get to know you! (Sorry! You seemed cool, but you pushed things too far)

I have two friends on here currently, who fortunately seem very understanding about my lack of free time, and the fact that I’ve had a couple of health scares this year already, and that it can take me weeks to reply to messages, which I regret. Extremely grateful for the understanding.

And one guy - this one guy, who will know who he is, who came to mean more to me than anyone who has been in my life in any capacity. Makes me want to cry just saying that, but no matter what happens, I will never speak badly about him. I may be hurting prematurely, I don’t know, but I’m trying not to assume or judge. No one gets that from me, this is a first. He holds the match that could turn my heart to ash.

So I haven’t exactly answered the thread title, but those are my experiences. I feel it would also be nice to hear about friendships made here that have lasted! Though that may be a separate thread lol

 

[LikeableMe]

Though I haven't posted for a long time, I've lurked on and off for a while and am just now feeling comfortable enough to come out of the room I walled myself into.
One of the first people I met here was a gentleman who is no more (here). He took me under his wing and kind of showed me around here. He was polite and funny and caring and made me his priority.
Eventually, as apparently these things do, we met in person. There were no surprises, we were both what we were expecting, and things worked well. We didn't share any physical intimacy until we had met a few more times, and then... magic.
Because we were so far apart, we maintained a long distance relationship, both in real life and here. As my alter ego, we had an understanding that what happened on the boards stayed on the boards.
Unfortunately, being a woman, I got overly protective. He was a flirt, with any woman who crossed his path. In hindsight, it was harmless. He was just a genuinely funny and caring guy who liked women to feel good about themselves. Now, I realize he never would have stepped out on me, but my insecurities got the better of me and I drove him away.
If ever there was something I regret....
He doesn't take my calls or respond to my emails, which I guess is fair considering the things I said to him.
Anyway, I guess this is me openly apologizing and hoping he's still lurking about. If you read this J, I'm sorry for everything and hope you're well.

I can relate to this. I’m experiencing similar. I hope he sees this and understands

 

[done_got_old]

At some point, if you hang around long enough, everyone here will fall in love, have a thing, or cyber with someone else here. It's inevitable. Likewise, the end of said togetherness is often a foregone conclusion.

Let's talk about it.

Do you have a Lit ex who left a particular impression on you, good or bad? Someone who taught you things about yourself, or helped you realize things you don't want to be a part of? Share it with us. Name names if you'd like, keep it to yourself if you'd prefer, but let's hear your experiences.

No Lit ex because I live in the real world where I don't need/want online relationships.

 

[AlwaysFara]

At some point, if you hang around long enough, everyone here will fall in love, have a thing, or cyber with someone else here. It's inevitable. Likewise, the end of said togetherness is often a foregone conclusion.

Let's talk about it.

Do you have a Lit ex who left a particular impression on you, good or bad? Someone who taught you things about yourself, or helped you realize things you don't want to be a part of? Share it with us. Name names if you'd like, keep it to yourself if you'd prefer, but let's hear your experiences.

Okay, I’ll play.
When I first got here I was very naive about BDSM. I still am, but I do have some experience now. I’m a work in progress.

Anyway.
As a woman, if you say you’re a sub here, and you’re genuinely new, and not an alt, guys are going to creep out of every sewer hole here and try to Dom you.
Being new, and curious, and sex starved, and a person who is who she says she is, I took these creeps at their word.
As long as someone was bossing me around, I was happy. I edged for days, then forced myself to cum multiple times because he told me to. I did things to myself because another he told me to. You get the idea.
My one limit, UNO, online is that I won’t call someone Master or Sir. I strugggle when Daddy, too.
This guy and I... my Dom (he called himself my Sir, I did not.) discussed this. We also discussed a safe word. Bla bla bla, we got into it one night. He was doin his thing on the phone and whipping me into a frenzy, and he said, call me Master.
I couldn’t.
He demanded I say it.
I could NOT.
He kept pushing... so I whipped out the safe word.
Mind you, that was the only time then, or now, that I’ve EVER had to use one.
So, I said the word.

He HUNG UP on me.

Anyone who is a sub, or a real Dom knows what that does.
I was devastated.

He then texted me and told me I was a bad girl. Which made me cry.
I went from cumming to complete sadness in seconds.
Luckily, I had a great GF here. I called her, and she let me cry for a long long time. She just stayed with me.

After that, I reigned it in, took a look at myself, and started listening to the women and men here that I trust.
That list has been whittled down significantly.
In a way, I’m glad it happened. My relationship and my friendships are close and heartfelt. I won’t have it any other way. I will not suffer fools.

I’ve named names to a few select women, regarding the shit heads.

I name the names of the men I trust here every day. These are people on my FB, in my lives, that I will be friends with on the flesh. Some of them, I am.

Next!!!

 

[AlwaysFara]

No Lit ex because I live in the real world where I don't need/want online relationships.

I do, too. I’ve met a lot of people here and made them part of my real world, too.

 

[PWilton]

It often seems like a story arc in a novel -- a beginning, a middle, and an end. The couple (if I can use that term) starts off chatting about, say, a post someone found interesting, then getting a bit more in detail about the subject, and so on. I have often found that the women I interact with in p.m.'s are much more aggressive and want the most naughty and pervy conversation that we can come up with. At some point, it just fades away. This was surprising to me. I can only go so far with kink....

Sometimes the time zones are a nuisance; often limits the continuation of contact. But, with the right attitude, that can be put aside and be enjoyable.

So I have a couple of Lit ex's, no harm, no foul. And I have one current correspondent with whom I exchange naughty pictures that she likes; I don't mind, and she seems happy with them. I feel a certain affection toward her I must admit.

Another aspect are the Lit Chat rooms. Those can get very hot and intense in their private conversations. But are much more ephemeral.

 

[done_got_old]

It often seems like a story arc in a novel -- a beginning, a middle, and an end. The couple (if I can use that term) starts off chatting about, say, a post someone found interesting, then getting a bit more in detail about the subject, and so on. I have often found that the women I interact with in p.m.'s are much more aggressive and want the most naughty and pervy conversation that we can come up with. At some point, it just fades away. This was surprising to me. I can only go so far with kink....

Sometimes the time zones are a nuisance; often limits the continuation of contact. But, with the right attitude, that can be put aside and be enjoyable.

So I have a couple of Lit ex's, no harm, no foul. And I have one current correspondent with whom I exchange naughty pictures that she likes; I don't mind, and she seems happy with them. I feel a certain affection toward her I must admit.

Another aspect are the Lit Chat rooms. Those can get very hot and intense in their private conversations. But are much more ephemeral.

As long as I've been here, I've never been to the Lit chat rooms. Yeah, there's a reason.

 

[JennyNo1]

I know I've had "Litlationships" from time to time. I have also run across old posts I've made here and there that would indicate that something had gone awry with them and that I was hurting over it. But for the life of me, I can't remember who they were with. Apparently, I moved on rather quickly and with minimal damage done. I only really remember one instance, and that's because we made up and are still close now. I guess the moral of my story is, go ahead and get involved enough to have some fun and maybe a little drama, but not so much that your life is ruined when it's over.

 

[AbsintheFather]

Interesting thread.

I agree

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

You could almost consider Lit to be like a modern day version of the Trail Of Tears.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Lit orgy. We've all basically fucked each other.

 

[AlwaysFara]

Lit orgy. We've all basically fucked each other.

 

[beachbaby179]

I remember each and every one. Not that there were many. But I'm picky about my friends, and even more so about lovers. Online or IRL. Once you're in my life you tend to stay there, maybe in a different way, but still there. I'm still close friends with each of them and we talk frequently.

 

[SassySheDevil]

I remember each and every one. Not that there were many. But I'm picky about my friends, and even more so about lovers. Online or IRL. Once you're in my life you tend to stay there, maybe in a different way, but still there. I'm still close friends with each of them and we talk frequently.

I like to think this would be the truth with me. But I guess if I thought about it. It's not really true. I think I've lost more friends then I have kept. In all the years I've been here, there have only been a few that I have really used the word Love with.
Friends/lovers. They all taught me something important about myself. But I think what you said about them always staying in my life (in some way) is true. They always mean something to me. I always care.
There are things that will always make me think of them. But for the most part. I blame myself for things falling apart. I'm hard to handle. I'm needy. I'm moody. The roller coaster ride of my emotions is hard to ride and it takes a dedicated person to weather the storms. Like the OP said. I'm very much like that.

Jealous, insecure. I could have said her post word for word. Minus the "in person"
stuff I've never had any in person relations with anyone.. Well unless you count cuddling (I'd say sleeping with, but you pervs would think I meant sex) with Fara
Although I did hear some fun rumors back in the day about what a slut I was, and that I walked off into the Sunset with Island Joe even. But I never even met him either. So no walking into the Sunset was had.

 

[PinkInPink]

All valid points.

I've always pondered the way the Lit rumor mill works. When my Lit ex was sent packing, so many people sent me notes of encouragement assuming he was the bad guy in the scenario. It's strange that we often say Lit has no secrets, when the truth is what is real is often only what people want it to be.

The last lit crush I had, after him, was in my head. It was with Tinman. Even though he and I hardly spoke on the boards, and when we did it was just in case anyone passing, I had a huge lady boner for him. I never told him, and it tore my heart out when I saw him flirting with others. Like he wanted to hurt me on purpose. That's silly, but for a long while I was so angry at him I couldn't decide if I wanted to fuck him or fuck him up.

Sorry if that TMI.

Point is, it's weird how the people we might otherwise never associate with here or in real life become such a focus of our attention.

Anybody have a similar experience? I can't be the only crazy one here, can I?

 

[ralf3456]

Yes, fallen in love here...and had my heart broken

 

[TheMrBurns]

If it weren't for someone I fell madly for on Lit I would never have started making audio stories and if it weren't for someone else I fell for I would never have discovered the subject matter of those stories. Absolutely no regrets on any level with anyone I've been romantic/sexual with on here

 

[Asian_Flower]

Lit orgy. We've all basically fucked each other.

I must have been away that day Sassy!

 

[SassySheDevil]

I must have been away that day Sassy!

haha, that's cause you are a good girl.

 

[SassySheDevil]

All valid points.

I've always pondered the way the Lit rumor mill works. When my Lit ex was sent packing, so many people sent me notes of encouragement assuming he was the bad guy in the scenario. It's strange that we often say Lit has no secrets, when the truth is what is real is often only what people want it to be.

The last lit crush I had, after him, was in my head. It was with Tinman. Even though he and I hardly spoke on the boards, and when we did it was just in case anyone passing, I had a huge lady boner for him. I never told him, and it tore my heart out when I saw him flirting with others. Like he wanted to hurt me on purpose. That's silly, but for a long while I was so angry at him I couldn't decide if I wanted to fuck him or fuck him up.

Sorry if that TMI.

Point is, it's weird how the people we might otherwise never associate with here or in real life become such a focus of our attention.

Anybody have a similar experience? I can't be the only crazy one here, can I?

Lit Rumor mill... If you have boobs or a vagina, or both. You are almost always believed first. If you are popular or well liked, You are almost always believed first. Sad, but true.
I've had some very public fights here. Not proud of any of them.

There are always 2 sides to every story and if you are part of the above, most don't care about the other side. But considering I have boobs, a vagina and have been well liked, I've also been beat down myself. So I know both sides.

I have had lit Crushes exactly like you describe. I am that fucked up.. I thought their flirting some how was to hurt me. But truth was. There was a few times, It was. They knew it hurt me. I've never been shy about admitting my crazy. I've never been shy about admitting the worst in me. The jealousy. The insecurity. I also admitted it was my demons. But if you are willing to play with them, just to get me riled up, I don't really feel bad for you when my crazy comes out to play.
But because of all the times I've been hurt, I've closed myself off a lot more. I don't like to get close to people anymore. I push people away more now. I keep my PMs off more now. I even spent a good amount of time in therapy trying to deal with my weaknesses.
But I come back for the genuine people. The real friends I've made along the way. The few that are real and genuine. That are honest. I've met 8 people from Lit (will be 9 next week) Lit has changed me in many ways. But I am still me in many ways also. I care deeply and I love hard.

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

Well, those of you who know me, know that I can be a bit soft when it comes to relationships. I enjoy the connection so I can get wrapped up in things quickly. But for true feelings, those come slower if ever. I can think of the people I've truly fallen head over heels for on my hand. One, in another time on Lit. Pulled me in deep. I was younger and unsure of myself. I knew that I had some idea of my sexuality. I'd explored different avenues here and there but she was older and showed me that so much could be had. It could also be shared with someone. We fell, we crashed, we gave each other our hearts and then RL stepped in and I wasn't strong enough to deal with it. I ran and while I don't think I ruined her life, the next time we talked I heard the pain in her voice. I tried again, over and over, she rightfully rejected me. I wasn't able to give her what she wanted and I wasn't ready to be real about what I wanted. So I left, I came back last year. Rekindled a few things, started a few others. Met people, played, came, thought I found a couple of somethings, but again it wasn't the total thing. Some had others, some ghosted, some simply weren't on the same page. Some of them I'm friends with still, some we talk in passing, some have gone silent. Everyone hurt, everyone took something and that is easy to focus on. I hear every day about someone's pain. But everyone you contact leaves something too. That something isn't always good but it changes a bit of you making you different than you were before. We adapt to our new self and sometimes we close off but in my experience. Leaving yourself open to a little pain, leads to great things. I've started something new, something a bit scary and a bit wild. It's young and fresh and growing fast and it worries me because it can end badly, but I don't want to shut myself off to that possibility of how amazing it can be because of that. I ramble because I see so much pain in the people of lit. The women and men both share this, but I hate seeing people say they are cutting everyone off. Don't, I know it hurts. I've wanted to claw my heart out of my chest and throw it into the sea to get rid of the hurt, but I healed. I learned I adapted, I did not do it alone. So live, love, lust, embrace the pain along with the pleasure. It makes us stronger. Know that as long as you're on Lit, somewhere in the forum, maybe buried in the post, maybe a not yet explored link, or waiting for a PM, a new experience awaits.

Also, don't think that just because you have a screen and a keyboard between you, that your words and your presence doesn't affect people. Leaving someone hanging, ghosting, or simply being a boar has very real effects on people. Don't harass the women or men exploring their sexuality, don't assume that you can have everything without putting the work in.




*takes a deep breath, and steps off soap box.*

Ignore me, sometimes I tend to talk a lot.

 

[quietlylooking]

All valid points.


Point is, it's weird how the people we might otherwise never associate with here or in real life become such a focus of our attention.

Anybody have a similar experience? I can't be the only crazy one here, can I?

So true... the pot-smoking Ivy league guy... the physicist turned comedian... the Australian chemist... the man who lived where I now live, long before me, and now lives where I used to live... another man, who lived where I now work, and who had a daughter who lived here too. Another one who keeps bees and shares a love of music. And others too. I cherish all of these connections. I would not have met them had it not been for Lit.

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

So who would have the longest list of Lit ex's?