No, honey, not in front of the cows...

[minsue]

Having Sex Until the Cows Come Home

Sat Sep 11,11:16 AM ET

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - What's a big cud-chewing Scottish cow have to do with preserving public decency?

According to the mayor of a small Dutch town, allowing Highland heifers to graze in a nearby nature reserve will help deter couples who have scandalized the upright citizens of Spaarnwoude with their open-air sex antics.

Mayor Ellen van Hoogdalem-Arkema said the brazen behavior of amorous outdoor enthusiasts has angered and embarrassed people walking their dogs in the reserve or taking their grandchildren for a stroll.

"Visitors experience great annoyance from people having sex in public and apparently the presence of the cows turns the people off having sex," the mayor said.

The idea of using cows to cool passions in the park originated from another nature reserve south of Amsterdam, which saw an unexpectedly serendipitous reduction in sex prowlers after allowing the cows to graze in its fields.

Van Hoogdalem-Arkema said that the reserve's status as public land made problem tricky to solve and urgent.

"I just got off the phone with a man who was cycling in the area with his children, when suddenly two naked men came running across the road." she added with a sigh.

 

[Guest]

Contralry to the popular belief, most of Dutch people are church-going conservative, and rather detest the going-ons in Amsterdam.

Not that I know any Dutch people apart from Rude van Nesterroy and Hornyrob.

 

[minsue]

Contralry to the popular belief, most of Dutch people are church-going conservative, and rather detest the going-ons in Amsterdam.

Not that I know any Dutch people apart from Rude van Nesterroy and Hornyrob.

Before the article, I had no preconceived notions of the sex lives of the Dutch. Now I'm just concerned for the cows.

 

[Guest]

Udderly preposterous.

 

[Weird Harold]

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - What's a big cud-chewing Scottish cow have to do with preserving public decency?

According to the mayor of a small Dutch town, allowing Highland heifers to graze in a nearby nature reserve will help deter couples who have scandalized the upright citizens of Spaarnwoude with their open-air sex antics.

...

Yet another example of the Dutch political approach to solving problems -- Address the Fucking Problem instead of passing new laws or throwing money at it.

 

[Guest]

What a load of bullocks.

 

[RebeccaLeah]

Udderly preposterous.

*Cracking up and muffling it in my pillow*

My sanity was already on threads, I think that just snaped another one.

Christ that's weird.

 

[Weird Harold]

What a load of bullocks.

Actually I believe "Highland Heifers" are in remarkable short supply of that commodity.

 

[Guest]

Actually I believe "Highland Heifers" are in remarkable short supply of that commodity.

LOL! True.

Ok, how about this: What a load of tits!

 

[Weird Harold]

Ok, how about this: What a load of tits!

I cn go with that, but spelling-buddy says, "On cows, they're teats, not tits -- alhough it's pronounced the same."

(apparently he pun in my first post was a bit to subtle -- I expected some comment by now. )

 

[Black Tulip]

Contralry to the popular belief, most of Dutch people are church-going conservative, and rather detest the going-ons in Amsterdam.

Not that I know any Dutch people apart from Rude van Nesterroy and Hornyrob.

Excuse me?

 

[Guest]

I cn go with that, but spelling-buddy says, "On cows, they're teats, not tits -- alhough it's pronounced the same."

(apparently he pun in my first post was a bit to subtle -- I expected some comment by now. )

Spelling-buddy isn't getting enough.

(I just gave my brain a poke and re-read your first post, "Fucking Problem". *snicker*)

Lou

 

[RebeccaLeah]

I cn go with that, but spelling-buddy says, "On cows, they're teats, not tits -- alhough it's pronounced the same."

(apparently he pun in my first post was a bit to subtle -- I expected some comment by now. )

I noticed sweetie. and laughed at that too.

 

[Guest]

http://www.addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/tier/cowcool.gif


Moo.

 

[Black Tulip]

I'll have you all know that the problem is more the fact that the fucking couples are homosexuals. I do wonder if there would be such a lot of noise if it was heterosexuals.

The silly cow [] thinks gays will be too scared of the Highlanders to drop their pants.
Hm, this is starting to sound like a whole different story.

 

[RebeccaLeah]

I'll have you all know that the problem is more the fact that the fucking couples are homosexuals. I do wonder if there would be such a lot of noise if it was heterosexuals.

The silly cow [] thinks gays will be too scared of the Highlanders to drop their pants.
Hm, this is starting to sound like a whole different story.

Too furry? All the gay guys I know like smooth and hairless.

 

[Guest]

I'll have you all know that the problem is more the fact that the fucking couples are homosexuals. I do wonder if there would be such a lot of noise if it was heterosexuals.

The silly cow [] thinks gays will be too scared of the Highlanders to drop their pants.
Hm, this is starting to sound like a whole different story.

Bloody good thing they're gay, at least the cows will be safe.

They tried that around here, but with sheep. You can imagine the results. Damn randy sods.

Lou

 

[Guest]

LMAO!!

I really like randy sods.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I don't know about highland heifers, but with american cows there is a distinct aroma, O'de de cow manure, that renders playful romps in the pasture problematic. Not to mention finding six feet of open space that isn't already occupied by a cow pat or three.

-Colly

 

[Guest]

LMAO!!

I really like randy sods.

LOL!

I must say I'm rather partial.

 

[Guest]

I don't know about highland heifers, but with american cows there is a distinct aroma, O'de de cow manure, that renders playful romps in the pasture problematic. Not to mention finding six feet of open space that isn't already occupied by a cow pat or three.

-Colly

Yeah, but some of us like it DIRTY!!!!!

Ok, maybe not that kind of dirty.

 

[Black Tulip]

Bloody good thing they're gay, at least the cows will be safe.

They tried that around here, but with sheep. You can imagine the results. Damn randy sods.

Lou

That was bloody stupid, I'd say. Poor sheep, don't you have the Animal Defendants or something?

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Anyone reading this thread would conclude that there are no farmers here.

I may be only a city chick, but even I know that fearing the cows it irrational. It’s the fear of the large pies that cattle leave lying around in any field they have been in, which is the deterrent.

The scientific word for it is, I believe, cow flop.

 

[Weird Harold]

I'll have you all know that the problem is more the fact that the fucking couples are homosexuals.

Perhaps that's why Highland Heifers were chosen instead of Steers or Bullocks (Note that's bUllocks not bOllocks -- i.e. steers that still have their bollocks.)

 

[Black Tulip]

LOL

Who said it's irrational to fear cows? Ever been up close to a Highlander? They have awfully fierce horns and it's a lot of muscle you have in front of you.

But to be honest, I rather face a cow than a horse. Now, that is a scary animal. Cows just stand and sniff, horses kick when you're not looking.




Harold,

If they used Bullocks, I think the animals would be pretty safe. Those are not ones to mess around with.