NJ female teacher 43 has sex w/ boy 13

[dickE]

She was sentenced to 5 years probation 'caus judge said he saw nothing wrong with the relationship and that the boy did not appear to suffer any psychological harm.

Comments??

 

[peachykeen]

Entirely inappropriate! The law is the law. Absolutely unacceptable.

 

[dickE]

She was sentenced to 5 years probation 'caus judge said he saw nothing wrong with the relationship and that the boy did not appear to suffer any psychological harm.

Comments??

At 14, I was lucky enough to be "taken-in-hand", so to speak, by a loving, very sexy female friend of the family in her early 40s and taught what sex was, how to accomplish it, how to hold my cum, with whom to have it and when........"hands-on".....oral as well as strait......for the better part of a summer. I WASN'T late for a lesson!!

Mostly because of this, later on, no girl's "first time" with me was ever an unpleasant experience. If they'd have known, they'd have thanked my 40 year old lover for her guidence.

The only problem I have with this recent teacher and student relationship is the fact that she's a teacher. Otherwise, I believe every early-teenage boy should be assigned to a woman of 40 for a summer of instruction and experience.....valuable experience.

 

[dickE]

Entirely inappropriate! The law is the law. Absolutely unacceptable.

Well, PK.............you prevail. The teacher was re-sentenced Fri to 3 years in prison.

 

[peachykeen]

A teacher who involves him or herself sexually with a student is breaching a huge trust. Not just that of the minor child, but of the parents, other students, school, state, etc. The issue is not the consequences to the child alone, but the fact that the teacher has gone beyond the boundaries of what is acceptable and appropriate for an adult in a position of authority.

 

[Tantanah]

A teacher who involves him or herself sexually with a student is breaching a huge trust. Not just that of the minor child, but of the parents, other students, school, state, etc. The issue is not the consequences to the child alone, but the fact that the teacher has gone beyond the boundaries of what is acceptable and appropriate for an adult in a position of authority.

You are exactly right. She deserves to be in jail.

 

[dickE]

A teacher who involves him or herself sexually with a student is breaching a huge trust. Not just that of the minor child, but of the parents, other students, school, state, etc. The issue is not the consequences to the child alone, but the fact that the teacher has gone beyond the boundaries of what is acceptable and appropriate for an adult in a position of authority.

Ok PK, lemme axe ya this, then...............her being a teacher completely aside, what do you think about mature, unrelated women and boys having sex?

 

[peachykeen]

As a general rule I am uncomfortable with the concept. OK, deep personal revelation here: when I was 13 I was "initiated" to sex by an man in his late 40's. He made it seem like he was doing me this "favor" of giving me experience,, that as a result of my 'letting him teach me' I would be a wonderful lover with future partners, etc etc. At the time I belived that bullshit. Why? I was lonely and sd. My parents were divorcing, I had moved to a new area, everything in the world seemed beyond my control. So suddenly here was this person telling me how special and wonderful I was and how he could "help" me. It wasn't until my later teens (and got some perspective and maturity) that I realized how I'd been manipulated while I was so vulnerable, and I was very very angry about that for some time. What decision making capacity did I have at 13? He was the adult. No adult has any right to put a child in that position, I do not care how "well-intentioned" they think they are being - it is selfish, not some grand altruistic gesture for the good of humanity.

So I try not to make grand sweeping generalizations normally, and I know my experience was just my experience, but I find it difficult to accept that an older person getting sexually involved with someone in their early/mid teens is not in some way a predator.

 

[dickE]

As a general rule I am uncomfortable with the concept. OK, deep personal revelation here: when I was 13 I was "initiated" to sex by an man in his late 40's. He made it seem like he was doing me this "favor" of giving me experience,, that as a result of my 'letting him teach me' I would be a wonderful lover with future partners, etc etc. At the time I belived that bullshit. Why? I was lonely and sd. My parents were divorcing, I had moved to a new area, everything in the world seemed beyond my control. So suddenly here was this person telling me how special and wonderful I was and how he could "help" me. It wasn't until my later teens (and got some perspective and maturity) that I realized how I'd been manipulated while I was so vulnerable, and I was very very angry about that for some time. What decision making capacity did I have at 13? He was the adult. No adult has any right to put a child in that position, I do not care how "well-intentioned" they think they are being - it is selfish, not some grand altruistic gesture for the good of humanity.

So I try not to make grand sweeping generalizations normally, and I know my experience was just my experience, but I find it difficult to accept that an older person getting sexually involved with someone in their early/mid teens is not in some way a predator.

Thanks, PK. You're sweet to reply.

I agree with you totally--in fact I wouldn't be so polite as you--where it's men and girls OR men and boys, but there just seems to be a subtle difference when it's a mature woman and a boy.

 

[peachykeen]

why? because teenage boys are known for being soooooooo much more mature than teenage girls?

 

[dickE]

why? because teenage boys are known for being soooooooo much more mature than teenage girls?

No, PK........because 13, 14, 15 year old boys are horny, hard all the time and curious as hell about sex by nature....like a little gun that needs to be aimed in the right direction before someone gets hurt.

In fact, I think boys are less mature! That's why they need some guidence.

 

[crystalizedjoy]

I totally agree with PK, the fact that the woman abused her trust as a teacher was totally unacceptable, and I hope the rabid bitches get her in prison.

In general, it does seem beneficial for a boy to get "taken in hand" at a younger age. Personally, I was a walking hard-on for about 3 years, and was totally unmanagable because of it. An older woman keeping me in check would have been great. I think because younger girls are generally more sensative then their male counterparts, a similar relationship has nearly the reverse effect on them. Unfair, perhaps, but thats reality, and I can't help that.

 

[PassionFruit]

This is not right.I wonder why she can't find a man her own age.Thats pretty sad.

 

[Guest]

 

[peachykeen]

exactly. are we saying that "well boys just need sex more", is that it? what century is it?

 

[RhumbRunner13]

Peach and Emerald......

...I'm NOT trying to support older men and young girls but Your posts raise a question in my mind. You both say that "years later" you realized..., but how much of that feeling could be from what society taught you in those years? I'm not getting this out very well, am I.

It's like DickE had an experience that he values and treasures, but our societry does not make victims out of males involved with sex. You seem to have had the same physical experiences but somehow after a couple years seemed "victimized".

I think we will see true equality when there is no difference in the way society presupposes differences in males and females. I know THAT is REALLY simple!! Of course that would be "equality".

I'm just not sure why sex for a 14 male is viewed with a "wink and nudge" but a 14 year old female is later percieved to have been a victim, even in her own mind. Is she a victim because she bcomes to truely believe that, or because the messages she recieves for the next 5 years TELLS her she is.

OK, I'm confused. D0o you guys understand what I'm trying to say?

Rhumb

 

[Guest]

Re: Peach and Emerald......

 

[Cheyenne]

Re: Peach and Emerald......

I'm just not sure why sex for a 14 male is viewed with a "wink and nudge" but a 14 year old female is later percieved to have been a victim, even in her own mind. Is she a victim because she bcomes to truely believe that, or because the messages she recieves for the next 5 years TELLS her she is.

I don't think they are saying that sex for a 14 year old male SHOULD be viewed with a wink and a nudge, it just is.

Luckily, I don't have the experience of an older male taking advantage of me as a young teen. But I can say that when I was 13, 14, 15, I thought I was a LOT more mature than I actually was. It took more years of development and security before I could look back and realize that. The adult should already know that the young teen isn't as mature as she thinks she is. Playing into their feelings of maturity is taking advantage of them.

One thing I remember from my high school sociology class when I was 16, almost 17 and many of those in the class were already 18. The teacher asked us to think about how much we changed and matured in the three years between 15 and 18. Then he told us that the same level of changes would occur between now (as 18 year olds) and when we'd be 21. The teacher was correct, too.

 

[mritsme]

I think there is valid points of view from all, as a male when i was 13 or 14 i would not have turned down an older lover and it would not (or i feel it wouldn't) have messed me up, but in the same reguards to it i have kids of my own and if that ever happened to one of them i would not be happy about it. I think one should wait tell marriage or alot older just because i had kids at young age and if i could go back and do it over with the kids part i probably would. And if teenagers star having sex at 16,17, 18 that is a thin line with me but how does a parent go about that when i was doing it at 16? But i think 13 is way to wrong and should not have happened.

 

[dickE]

Hmmmmm opened a can o' worms, didn't I ? *)*

 

[RhumbRunner13]

Hmmmmm opened a can o' worms, didn't I ? *)*

No Dick, I think it's a GREAT DISCUSSION! As long as we can keep it on a reasonable level and not get trolls calling names.

As to maturity advancing with age...write down your "philosophy of life at 40 and compare it to your beliefs at 50!

Or 50 to 60....

Rhumb

 

[peachykeen]

for myself it's not like anyone told me I was a 'victim', I was just very angry, starting to engage in sefl-destructive behavior, et etc. As I started to work out why I was this way (on my own for a few years before going into therapy) I realized a lot of it had to do with what had happened with this man, and the circumstances surrounding it. I was angry at my parents for being so involved in thier own pain that they couldn't see mine, I was angry at the school counselor I tried to talk to who blew me off, I was angry at a lot of people. It's hard to explain if you haven't been there. The simple fact is that if this man was a decent human being who was truly interested in my well being he would have helped me deal appropriately with what was going on in my life, not fucked me.

 

[crystalizedjoy]

oh, I agree girls are just as horney as boys are during that time, but for whatever reason, males are less frequently traumitized and hurt by sex then women are. fair? not really, but i can't help that at all...

 

[Guest]

 

[crystalizedjoy]

i agree that that trust shouldnt be broken, regardless of the gender of the child, but society generally is more protective of young girls then young boys. not the way it should be tho, but it is..