"Night Night"

[My Erotic Tail]

The night has falling once again~
time for bed...lets cover you to your head..
tucks ya snug as a bug in a rug...smiles (~_*)
Place a flower for you to see, The flowering...
growing bond between you and me...
sits beside you and opens my book of tales.

"Ok Ready? First how was your day?"
....Night Night has gone thru a
few changes since it began back in nov....
A few of you always seem to send me some
great stuff for night night...I dont use all of them
but they are greatly appreciated...if you want
or have a really good joke or tid bit of wisdom
You can now post it here...Perhaps this will help
the growing number on my list...hehehe
(Those who know the Night Night know what to expect)

As some of you know I do various jobs...Im really
a busy body...Martial Arts...Construction...Drive a
truck in a Moving buissness...My step-dads
cabinet shop and a few other un-attractive titles..hehe
"Well how was my day?"

A day in the life of Art

I get asked this question alot..."How do you come
up with so many Ideas for your stories...well Its like
today...I came up with 3...and this is one of them
and how...

Birds and the BEES ....by Art
I spent the day with Betsy...Now betsy is very
attractive and pretty to say the least...beautifull
she is not really demanding but I get all giddy when
I am around her...men are that way...I was playing
with betsy's hair when a lil brown bird came and
landed on her. Smaller than a sparrow so my guess
it was in the finch family...Now Betsy froze..she was
probably just as stunned as I was...I watched this
cute little bird being very still myself...

Then came along a BEE...now this Bee was flying
around this little bird that was sitting on Betsy...lol
the little bird was plain..nothing special about it
other than it was on Betsy and playing with a
Bee..or watching the Bee fly around the bird..

My guess is this bird and this Bee had a thing for
each other cause they were close to the same size.
The other birds probably didn't aprove of a bird and
a Bee having relations so they were by us....They
probably told this bird "Hey you cant have a BEE
for a friend thats just not right...matter of fact other
birds probably eat Bees...but any way...They were
admireing each other as I was admireing Betsy
we were all having a birds and the Bees moment..lol

Then Betsy moved and they went else where to
have their intimate moment Im guessing....but I
learned something....did you..???????
Bee with whom ever makes you happy no
matter what others might think...especiallly when
it comes to the Birds and the BEEs...hehehehe

So me and Betsy talked about her baby she is having
in the next two days...excited she is...even though
she didnt say it I know...smiles...so I will write a
story in (non-english) in her honor...since she
dont speak english...hehehehehe...really she
probably would say he he he he ...especially
when her foul is born...smiles...she is a beautifull
Indian Paint (black and white ) Interacial my guess
lmao....she has some great horse sense...lol

Any way as I was going out the gate I stopped
and said bye and that I loved her big brown eyes
and some things that are romantic...she likes that
and while I was standing at the gate a Hawk come
and landed on the gate...not three feet from where
I stood...guess he come to talk to Betsy about her
baby too....well that was magnificent..I mean
really I froze...guess I did that alot today...
I am sure that the Indians would take that to be
a good omen...but we all looked at each other
and then the Hawk was probably uncomfortable
with a threesome and left....hehehehe thats what
betsy said...smile....

so again...the birds and the bees....Bee with whom
ever makes you happy....smile...I want to beee
with you all on Lit so I come to play....smile....

(This is a true story)...hope you enjoyed a day
in the life of Art.........smiles.......
"Ok, Ready?" opens my book and starts to read....
Betsy said to tell ya'll .........hehehehehe

Little Donnie had just learned to count on his fingers.
One day his uncle came to visit and little Donnie
was anxious to show off his newly acquired
skill. He asked his uncle to give him an addition
question. So his uncle
asked, "What is three plus four?"

Little Donnie counted it out on his
fingers and said, "Seven."

His uncle said, "Listen Donnie,
you can't count it out on your hands because
someday when you are in school,
a teacher will get mad at you for it. Now
put your hands in your pockets."

So little Donnie put his hands in
his pockets and his uncle asked, "What is
five plus five?"

His uncle saw movement in little
Donnie's pockets, and then Little Donnie
said, "Eleven!"

Lmao...hehehehe betsy liked it too...smiles
turns the page....smiles...

"Once upon a time.' looks at you and smiles...
THERE once was a shaolin priest named
Da Mo...who ventured out from his temple in
search of enlightenment to carry back to his
fellow brotherin..and share learnings from the
world.....he was traveling one night when it was
raining and getting dark...he was wet, cold and
tired as he found his way along in the dark.
He came to a cave. Well the gods must be
smileing on me he thought as he made his
way into this cave out of the rain. His feet
stepped and crunching sounds came from
stepping on crunchy things but made
his way in farther thinking it must be wood
blown into the entrance cause not to much
farther in his feet felt soft straw that he
balled up and layed down on in
this pitch black damp cave. He fell asleep
from his weary travel thinking that the gods
have taken care of him this evening and gave
him shelter.....in the middle of the night
Da Mo woke up thirsty and listened as he
heard water dripping so he felt his way over
to the sound and felt what he thought was
a gobblet of liquid. The water was
dripping into some container that he
quickly smelled and tasted and quinched his
thirst. the gods have truely blessed me this
night he thought as he went back to
sleep. .................The next morning he
awoke to see that the crunching was bones
he had stepped across, and the straw was
hair of long dead and left. and the
container of water was a skull that he had
drank from. well Da Mo got a little ill and very
upset....but he went back to his temple
enlightened from a lesson he learned.
"Know what that lesson was??????????"....
......ENEMY'S OF THE MIND..................
every thing was a blessing till his mind had
told him that it was not. The mind rejected its
blessings once the mind knew what
was given to him to comfort him........
and his bodies...his needs were met...
but the mind rejected them...

*Looks at you and smiles...
Turns the page....

After a hardy rainstorm filled all the potholes in
the streets and alleys, a young mother
watched her two little
boys playing in the puddle through her kitchen
window. The older of the two, a five year old lad,
grabbed his sibling by the back of his
head and shoved his face into the water hole.
As the boy recovered and stood laughing and
dripping, the mother runs to the yard in a
panic.

"Why on earth did you do that to your little brother?!"
she says as she shook the older boy in anger.

"We were just playing 'church' mommy" he said.
"I was baptizing him in the name of the Father,
the Son and in the hole-he-goes.

Hehehe "Oh My"....
"Ok Nightly Comment...smiles...

Stories get 10,000 to 20,000 reads and more...
but they don't get that many votes, Elizabetht
wrote a story in humor on this topic that I
recomend...so if you read, please vote...thanks.

I have decided from the poll I took to keep
"night night " as a PM because I enjoy the
personell feedback as you obviously enjoy
it that way tooo...smile, but with the growing
number on the list and those who send me
their "Night Night" stories I created this thread,
so you can also tell your Nightly tale...smiles.
(Hoping this works)

Nightly read...
I felt this story would be good for the first
"Night Night" on this thread because its a
fairy tale type story so enjoy...
..........Sleeping Cutie..........
Hope you have a great night

"Night Night "...turns out the light...
"Good night every one"
........................................................

This is how the "Night Nights" have been since
Nov 2003, when I first started it, the overwhelming
amount of people on my list has obviously a
need to grow, perhaps you have an idea or a
"Night Night" you want to share...please do, plus
feedback and thread lovers can play with this as
much as you like...enjoy.

The kids grew up and are gone...I recall one of the
best things was our nightly read...I encourage
a nightly read and miss those days...so this is why
this has all come about....smiles...

(Till tomorrow night..."Night Night")

 

[bamagirl]

WooHoo I love the night nights and I get to be the first to respond.

great thread idea Sweetheart

 

[mystic_Arrival]

Yay I'm first after her

Art, I am so glad to see that you share well with others lol.

You bring light into so many lives, I am glad to see you have decided to let some more people bask in the wit that you were blessed with

 

[LadyShianne]

Night Night

I received this from a friend.. thought it was cute...



If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome including toilet-flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD!


Here's what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in his room.

"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?"

I put my best hamster-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom.


One of the little rodents was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed.

I immediately knew what to do.

"Honey", I called, "come look at the hamster!"

"Oh my gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies."

"What?" my son demanded.

"But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"

I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife.

"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired. (I actually think she said this sarcastically!)

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together).


"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.

"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me. (Again with the sarcasm, you think?)

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. "Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."


"OH, Gross!" they shrieked.

"Well, isn't THAT just Great! What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little hamster babies?" my wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was being snotty here, too, don't you?)


We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later. "We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.

"Its breech," my wife whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.

"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gingerly tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.


"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)


"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly.

We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.

"I don't think hamsters do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.)

The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass. "What do you think, Doc, a c-section?" suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting," he murmured.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?" I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.

"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This hamster is not in labor.

In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um.... um... masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back."


He blushed, glancing at my wife. "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron."

We were silent, absorbing this. "So Ernie's just...just...Excited," my wife offered.

"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we
understood. More silence.

Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.

"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my FLAWLESS manliness.

Tears were now running down her face. "It's just...that...I'm picturing you pulling on it's... it's...teeny little..." she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned.

We thanked the Veterinarian and hurriedly bundled the hamsters and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.


2 Hamsters $10
1 Cage ..... $20
1 Trip to the Vet .... $30
Memory of your husband pulling on a hamster's wacker................
...Priceless.

 

[LadyShianne]

Night Night for Mothers...

This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's okay honey, Mommy's here."

Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can't be comforted.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.

This is for those who become mothers by marrying a man with children. Who take on the responsibility by CHOICE not because the HAVE to.

This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors.

And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars..

And that when their kids asked, "Did you see me, Mom?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize
how child abuse happens.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the (grand)mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the words.

This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat.

For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year. And then read it again. "Just one more time."

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.

This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home -- or even away at college.

This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches, assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them
up. Right away.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them.

For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14 year olds dye their hair green.

For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting.

For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war.

What makes a good Mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips?

The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?

Or is it in her heart?

Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?

The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?

The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home?

Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?

The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation... And mature mothers learning to let go.

For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.

Single mothers and married mothers.

Mothers with money, mothers without.

This is for you all. For all of us...

Hang in there. In the end we can only do the best we can. Tell them every day that we love them. And pray.

Please pass along to all the Moms in your life.

"Home is what catches you when you fall - and we all fall."

 

[Joseki Ko]

Tasteless joke

Hy guy's

Nice to be here :-]

Let me add a tastless joke here


Whae did the Mexican Fireman name his two sons?


Jose

and




Hose B

 

[bamagirl]

here is one I always enjoyed

Little green snakes can be dangerous



If you always thought those little green garden snakes were O.K., read
on:

Green Garden Grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes.


A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of potted plants, and during a
recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.

The husband who was taking a shower ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.


About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him in the butt.

He thought the snake had bitten him and he fainted. His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out.

About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.

Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief. But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor man, seeing her laying there passed out tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

An ambulance was again called and it was determined that the injury required hospitalization.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now the police had arrived.

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake.

They called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch.

One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table that was on one side of the sofa.

The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog, who startled, jumped up and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car and set it on fire.

Meanwhile the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire house was blazing. Neighbors had called the fire department and the arriving fire truck had started raising his ladder as they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten square city block area.

Time passed. Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was rebuilt, the police acquired a new car, and all was right with their world. About a year later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked his wife if she thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

She shot him.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Such informative stories......lol.

Hamsters masturbate? Does yours know about Masturbation month?

~A~

 

[My Erotic Tail]

TGIF "Night Night"

The night has come and off to bed you run...
curl on up and let me tuck you in,,,,
sit next to you with a Texas size grin...
open my book of tales...lol
"Ready"..."How was your Day???

A Day in the life of Art..

We can learn something new every day if we
only open our minds to the lessons...
I was mowing the yard today, now I got a huge
yard down off the river and I hadn't gotten
to the back acre in awhile and It was growed up
pretty tall.

Tootleing along with the lawn mower I come across
a snake, it wasn't poisonous but nice size any way,
this snake went after the lawn mower then back up,
I pushed the lawn mower towards it thinking it will
go off but no it coiled up ready to bite, I didn't run
it over but went about my mowing and this sucker
charged at me, I was shocked and turned the mower
and pushed it at it, it coiled up and didn't run.

Now we all know how loud a mower is and I've
seen a few snakes on the river and they mostly turn
tail and run, lol but not this one. Well I went on and
finished the yard and left the brave snake alone.

I figuered it like this, when you come on some one
elses turf you better expect a fight or for them to
defend whats theirs even if its mine, the snake didnt
know that, he thought I was on his land and was
willing to fight for it. The same with our homes, our
family and of course....our words. But we make the
choice of killing, fighting or choosing peace, I try to
always choose peace and tranquility if I can...but
Here is an example of emotions flared and how to
realize that were not always right and there is two
sides to a story...Ying Yang

Next...

A~ sends this for night night
Just a thought.... no offense intended....
In light of the current Administration's position
on gay marriage, shouldn't the President's
reelection slogan be:
"Bush and Dick: The Way God Wants It"
TGIF

Turns the page...

I was walking along lit one day
It was a merry merry kind of day...ok ok
I found this in the "Care to share" thread
so I'm shareing....smiles...

An old Cherokee was teaching his grandson about life.

'A fight is going on inside me', he said to the boy.
'It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves.
One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret,
greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment,
inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope,
serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy,
generosity, truth, compassion, and faith'.

'The same fight is going on inside you, and inside
every other person, too.'

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then
asked his grandfather, ' Which wolf will win?'.

The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed.'

"Hungry?..."hehehehehe...turns the page...

In a texas classroom~...hehehe
A professor at the University of Texas
was giving a lecture on the supernatural.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks
"How many people here believe in ghosts?"

About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you
who believe in ghosts, do any of you think
you've seen a ghost?" About 40 students
raise their hands.

"That's really good. I'm really glad you take
this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked
to a ghost?" About 15 students raise their hands.

"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"
3 students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one
question further...
Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"

Way in the back, Bubba raises! his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses, and says,
"Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture,
no one has ever claimed to have made
love to a ghost. You've got to come up
here and tell us about your experience."

The big redneck student replied with a nod
and a grin, and began to make his way up
to the podium. When he reached the front
of the room, the professor asks,
"So, Bubba, tell us what it's like to
have sex with a ghost?"
Bubba replied, "Heck! From way back there
I thought you said "Goats!"

"Oh my"..hehehehe

"Ok Nightly comment"...smiles
I find it very amussing and perhaps a bit
disturbing when I open an e-mail or Pm
rather and in the first line of the paragraph
somebody is wanting to lick some part of my
body, Now if I was on the street and met some
one do you think they would say "Hi, I want lick
you till your all wet?" I hope not, hehehehe
but to top it off they think I'm a girl, now they
didn't even bother to ask hey e-email me back
if your female...nope they jumped right in there
and began licking some part of my anatomy when
I assume they are male, I must confess I havn't
had to many women, start their conversation with hey
can I suck you off,, now some how that probably
wouldn';t bother me but at the same time they are
more than likly in alaska or india or some far off
place where I won't be anytime soon...smiles,
so just thought I'd share that...you women put
up with some wierdos Im sure, so tell me about it
and don't leave out the details....lmao...kidding..

"Ok nightly read" lets see what I got tonight..
Here we go...this ones short and eroticly sweet..grin
Nightly read
don't dis me for any grammer
it was one of my first...smiles

"Night Night" ...turns out the light....

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Staurday Night nite~

Get to bed and cover up...
Time for the night night stories..
Tucks ya snug and opens my book..
turns at you and gives a look...smiles...
"Ready?"..How was your day?

"My day?" mmmm "ok"

A day in the life of Me!

I learn something new every day..
I reflect on my day and say "hey"
what did I do or learn then I pass it on..
Today was raining ...storming actually
so I spent the day cleaning house, laundry
went to town and the store then I sat at this
box (computer) I was in a ...what shall I call it..
a discussion most of the day, a controversy
has flared up over my poem "YDD is a Ying Yang

This poem started from the multiple comments
this person has left on many poems. And the
emotions one dear freind felt when they were
hit by their first posts...by this YDD and their
commentries. I was upset then thought about
it and conversed with a very wise teacher and
friend over the matter.."The Dragon of blue."
They enlightened me that I was taking the wrong
approach to their critism. To learn from it and teach
the right way to deal with it...So I wrote the poem as
a lesson that I learned in "Exeptance is the key to
Tranquility" any way a thread started in a semi
defense of this person and their right to comment..
Here is the link

The lesson for today is our words and actions
effect those around us...so be good...be KIND..
But most of all be happy...but be respectful of
others creations and art. We become defensive
its our nature. Just like the snake in yesterdays
night night...hehehe (No it wasn't a one eye'd one)

So remember we all live in this world together
and treat others as you would want to be treated.

one last thing...I like the fire in Elizabetht..hehehe
thank you sweetie for standing up for me when I
thought I was on my own in a den of lions...hehe

"Now for the good stuff...hehehe

Young Bill was courting Mabel, who lived on
an adjoining farm out west in cattle country.
One evening, as they were sitting on Bill's
porch watching the sun go down over the hills,
Bill spied his prize bull fucking one of his cows.
He sighed in contentment at this idyllic rural
scene and figured the omens were right for him
to put the hard word on Mabel. He leaned in
close and whispered in her ear, "Mabel, I'd sure
like to be doing what that bull is doing."
"Well then, why don't you? "Mabel whispered back.
"It is YOUR cow."

"Oh My"..heehehehe
turns the page...hehehehe

A young man excitedly tells his mother he's
fallen in love and is going to get married.
He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring
over three women and you try and guess
which one I'm going to marry."
The mother agrees. The next day, he brings
three beautiful women into the house and sits
them down on the couch and they chat for a
while. He then says, "Okay, Ma. Guess which
one I'm going to marry." She immediately replies,
"The red-head in the middle." Stunned, the
young man says, "That's amazing, Ma. You're right.
How did you know?"

"I don't like her," she says.

Lmao...hhahahaha...lol
looks at you and smiles...turns the page...

True Story... A female news anchor who, the
day after it was supposed to have snowed
and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked,
"So Bob, where's that 6 inches you promised
me last night?" Not only did he have to leave
the set, but half the crew did too... they were
laughing so hard.

"OK nightly comment...hehehe

He who fails to prepare....
preepares to fail....

Nightly read...
short poem...by Art...
Tools for sex

"Night Night"...turns out the light....

 

[ABSTRUSE]

A lovely nightnight it was, thanks MET.
~A~

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Sunday nite "Night Night"

With out fail let me tell ya a tale,
Hop on the bed and pull the covers to your head.
I sit on down with my upside down frown...smiles..
Open my book...give you a look...hehehe..
"How was your day??"

MY DAY?...humm "Well"

I saw on the news where our soldier got loose
and escaped from being a hostage...
"WONDERFUL" so I guess this will be a day
in his honor...although with war there is not
much honor given when were shown mistreating
the same people that walk up and blow themselves
as well as fellow soldiers up...sad...and heartfelt.

"War is Hell" any way you look at it...
so HIP HIP HURRAY for our soldier that is safe.

Ok..opens my book of tales..this first one is
from Elizabetht...smiles.....
OIL
There are a lot of folks who can't understand
how we came to have an oil shortage here in
America. Well, there's a very simple answer.
Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just
didn't know we were getting low. The reason
for that is purely geographical. All our oil is in
Alaska, Texas, California, and Oklahoma.
All our dipsticks are in Washington, DC.

smiles ok...another...hehehe

A guy stops by to visit his friend. They talk
for a while and then the friend asks,
"My feet are cold. Would you be so kind
as to go get me my sneakers please?"
The guest obliges and goes upstairs.
There he sees his friend's daughters,
both very good looking. Being the adventurous
and quick thinking kind, he says: "Hi, ladies!
Your daddy sent me here to have sex with
you!" They stare at him and say, "That can't
be!" He replies, "OK, let's check!" He shouts
at his friend down the stairs, "Both of them?"
"Yes, both of them!"

"lmao" heheheheeh...ok
the ying yang to this is coming...
This was posted on Eagle's Cry Thread
Which I encourage every one to visit in
light of todays event's
By Ladyhianne Thanks S~ this is moving...

I was sitting alone in one of those loud,
casual steakhouses that you find all over
the country. You know the type--a bucket
of peanuts on every table, shells littering the
floor, and a bunch of perky college kids racing
around with longneck beers and sizzling platters.

Taking a sip of my iced tea, I studied the crowd
over the rim of my glass. My gaze lingered on
a group enjoying their meal. They wore no
uniform to identify their branch of service, but
they were definitely "military:" clean shaven,
cropped haircut, and that "squared away" look
that comes with pride.

Smiling sadly, I glanced across my table to the
empty seat where my husband usually sat.
It had only been a few months since we sat in
this very booth, talking about his upcoming
deployment to the Middle East. That was when
he made me promise to get a sitter for the kids,
come back to this restaurant once a month
and treat myself to a nice steak. In turn he would
treasure the thought of me being here, thinking
about him until he returned home to me.

I fingered the little flag pin I constantly wear and
wondered where he was at this very moment.
Was he safe and warm? Was his cold any better?
Were my letters getting through to him?

As I pondered these thoughts, high pitched female
voices from the next booth broke into my thoughts.

"I don't know what Bush is thinking about. Invading Iraq.
You'd think that man would learn from his old man's
mistakes. Good lord. What an idiot! I can't believe
he is even in office. You do know, he stole the election."

I cut into my steak and tried to ignore them, as they
began an endless tirade running down our president.

I thought about the last night I spent with my husband,
as he prepared to deploy. He had just returned
from getting his smallpox and anthrax shots.
The image of him standing in our kitchen packing
his gas mask still gives me chills.

Once again the women's voices invaded my thoughts.
"It is all about oil, you know. Our soldiers will go
in and rape and steal all the oil they can in the name
of 'freedom.' Humph! I wonder how many innocent
people they'll kill without giving it a thought?
It's pure greed, you know."

My chest tightened as I stared at my wedding ring.
I could still see how handsome my husband looked
in his "mess dress" the day he slipped it on my finger.
I wondered what he was wearing now. Probably
his desert uniform, affectionately dubbed "coffee
stains" with a heavy bulletproof vest over it.

"You know, we should just leave Iraq alone. I don't
think they are hiding any weapons. In fact, I bet it's
all a big act just to increase the President's popularity.
That's all it is, padding the military budget at the
expense of our social security and education.
And, you know what else? We're just asking for
another 9-ll. I can't say when it happens again that
we didn't deserve it."

Their words brought to mind the war protesters
I had watched gathering outside our base. Did no
one appreciate the sacrifice of brave men and
women, who leave their homes and family to
ensure our freedom? Do they even know what
"freedom" is?

I glanced at the table where the young men were
sitting, and saw their courageous faces change.
They had stopped eating and looked at each other
dejectedly, listening to the women talking.

"Well, I, for one, think it's just deplorable to
invade Iraq, and I am certainly sick of our tax
dollars going to train professional baby killers
we call a military."

Professional baby killers? I thought about what
a wonderful father my husband is, and of how
long it would be before he would see our children again.

That's it! Indignation rose up inside me. Normally
reserved, pride in my husband gave me a brassy
boldness I never realized I had. Tonight one voice
will answer on behalf of our military, and let her
pride in our troops be known.

Sliding out of my booth, I walked around to the
adjoining booth and placed my hands flat on their
table. Lowering myself to eye level with them, I
smilingly said, "I couldn't help overhearing your
conversation. You see, I'm sitting here trying to
enjoy my dinner alone. And, do you know why?
Because my husband, whom I love with all my
heart, is halfway around the world defending your
right to say rotten things about him. Yes, you have
the right to your opinion, and what you think is none
of my business. However, what you say in public
is something else, and I will not sit by and listen to
you ridicule MY country, MY president, MY husband,
and all the other fine American men and women who
put their lives on the line, just so you can have the
"freedom" to complain. Freedom is an expensive
commodity, ladies. Don't let your actions cheapen it."

I must have been louder that I meant to be, because
the manager came over to inquire if everything was
all right. "Yes, thank you," I replied.

Then turning back to the women, I said, "Enjoy the
rest of your meal."

As I returned to my booth applause broke out. I was
embarrassed for making a scene, and went back to
my half-eaten steak.

The women picked up their check and scurried away.

After finishing my meal, and while waiting for my
check, the manager returned with a huge apple
cobbler a la mode. "Compliments of those soldiers,"
he said. He also smiled and said the ladies tried to
pay for my dinner, but that another couple had
beaten them to it.

When I asked who, the manager said they had
already left, but that the gentleman was a veteran,
and wanted to take care of the wife of "one of
our boys."

With a lump in my throat, I gratefully turned to the
soldiers and thanked them for the cobbler.
Grinning from ear to ear, they came over and
surrounded the booth. "We just wanted to thank
you, ma'am. You know we can't get into
confrontations with civilians, so we appreciate
what you did."

As I drove home, for the first time since my
husband's deployment, I didn't feel quite so alone.
My heart was filled with the warmth of the other
diners who stopped by my table, to relate how they,
too, were proud of my husband, and would keep
him in their prayers. I knew their flags would fly a
little higher the next day.

Perhaps they would look for more tangible ways
to show their pride in our country, and the military
who protect her. And maybe, just maybe, the two
women who were railing against our country,
would pause for a minute to appreciate all the
freedom America offers, and the price it pays to
maintain it's freedom.

As for me, I have learned that one voice CAN
make a difference. Maybe the next time protesters
gather outside the gates of the base where I live,
I will proudly stand on the opposite side with a
sign of my own. It will simply say, "Thank You!"
"I truely liked this story thanks Shianne~
Turns the page...smiles...
Smiles..."Oh My"...lol

Nightly Read: The long awaited...smiles..
Hawk and a Dove 2
of all my tales Hawk and a Dove is my fav.
So here is the continueing story..and I shine
with pride...thanks Raven Wilde for the edit
and adding your special touch...smiles..
enjoy. and everone have a great week.

"Night Night"...turns out the light..

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Mon Nite~

Rush to bed and covers to your head...
got a tale waiting to be read....
smiles... sits down and opens
my book of tales....never fails....well?
"How was your day?"....

Arts day......

7 spanish angels at the alter of the sun....

Yep, it's a song I know but thats what I
thought about when I went to feed the
7 magnificent horses this morning...
it was monday and I was running late..
got to work with a note....no work today
so as I walked off the ole gray mare...she
ain't what she use to be...hehehe come up
nudging me pushing me back to the barn
then the other lovely's come a running...

yep I was surrrounded by 7 spanish
angels....well....horses...telling me to
feed them...now any body who has or had
animals knows when their hungry they can
talk...well tell ya their hungry..hehehehe

SoI feed them and they were not shy
about getting to the alfalfa beads...oats
and grain mix...I 'm here to tell ya animals
can talk...

thumbs thru the pages....oh yes this one..

"Han's the counting horse..." some might
recall this tale but perhaps Ill tell it differently
cause its been a long time but Hans was a smart
horse...he did math...you say "Hans whats 2+2...
and Hans would stomp its hoof 4 times...people
were amaze at the acuracy of Hans and his math.

always a spectacle around...people asking Hans
"Hans whats 5+5-5.." and hans would stomp his
hoof 5 times...wow thats cool....well a local
university caught wind of this and wanted to
test ole Hans and his math skills...(of course..lol)

Well they tested Hans in so many ways they
discovered a few things...he couldn't stand in
another room and ask the question...you had
to look him in the eyes...but he could do algebra
equations...multiply and divide...so on....

finally one day they figured it out...the secret to
Hans and his math...wasn't that Hans could do
math he was very perceptive...he watched the
persons anticipation. as he stomped his hoof
he would watch the question'er and as he got
to the number ( the person asking the
question was looking for) Would show it in
their face...he sensed the expression on
a persons face and body....and Hans was
rarely wrong......smiles....

smiles...turns the page.......
"Ok...here we go..."

A horse named bill...
an old miner was walking along a stream with
his horse named bill...looking for gold and never
had any luck when he come across an Indian
walking his way...

the miner asked the Indian if he knew where he
could find some gold...the indian didn;t know
what he meant...."Yellow rock" the miner said.

"Oh like this?" and pulled out a gold nugget..
the miner about flipped said ""YES, where did
you get it?"...the Indian said "Found it"...lol

The miner wanted that gold piece so they made
a trade...the gold for the horse named bill...
well the miner went his way and the indian
went to his village and they asked him...
"Where did you get the horse???"
Indian said "from a man for a rock"..well they
all got a good laugh...the Indian got a bill for a
rock...hehehe and the miner paid a bill for a
nugget of gold...but both were happy....lol

"ok" turns the page...hehehehehehe

The racing-car driver picked up a girl after
a race, went home with her and took her
to bed. He fell asleep only to be awakened
suddenly when she smacked him in the face.
"What's the matter?!? Didn't I satisfy you
when we screwed?" he asked. "It was after
you fell asleep that got you into trouble,"
said the angry woman. "In your sleep, you
felt my tits and mumbled, 'What perfect
headlights.' Then you felt my thighs and
murmured, 'what a smooth finish.'"

"What's wrong with that?" asked the driver.
"Nothing, but then you felt my pussy and
yelled, 'who the hell left the garage door
open?'"

lmao...lol...hahahahahahah
turns the page....

In pharmacology, all drugs have a generic
name, Tylenol is Acetaminophen, Advil is
Ibuprofen, and so on. The FDA has been
looking for a generic name for Viagra, and
announced today that they have settled
on Mycoxafloppin.

hehehehe

Nightly comment......
Anger is the fire that will consume you....
burn you...and leave you in a filthy ash....

Nightly read....by Art
Dragon of Anger (a poem)

smiles and closes the book of tales...
covers ya up...tucks ya snug....

"Night Night"...turns out the light.....

 

[someplace]

Thank you so much. This is just wonderful! Nitey nite to you too.

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Tue Night

Bed time,
hop in bed covers to your head...
How was your day?

My day...?

a sweet big brown eyed cutie was nudging
me for treats...I said "No" but it's hard for
a man to say no to a woman...so I feed her
grain twice...she whinnied at me in thanks
and I smiled....animals do talk you just
have to listen....smiles

ready for a stroy to be read?
"Once upon a time..."
Little Red Riding Hood was on her way to
see her grandmother in the forest.
Her mother warned her "Don't walk through
the forest, take the path, or else the Big Bad
Wolf will catch you and suck your tits dry!"
Little Red started towards her grandmother's
house but decided to take the shortcut through
the forest anyway. The turtle stopped Little Red
and warned her "Turn back and use the path,
because if the Big Bad Wolf finds you, he'll suck
your tits dry!" Little Red was almost there,
so she kept going through the forest. Sure enough,
the Big Bad Wolf jumps out of nowhere and tells her
"Take off your shirt Little Red Riding Hood -
I'm gonna suck your tits dry!!". "Oh no you don't",
yells Little Red, as she pulls up her skirt,
"You're gonna eat me just like the story says!"

turns the page....

Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of
math class, obviously not paying any
attention, when the teacher calls his name.

"Yeah teach?" he replies.

"If there are three ducks on a fence
and you shoot one of them with a shotgun,
how many are left?" asks the teacher.

Matt answers "Well, teach, if I shoot one
of them with a shotgun, the loud noise is
gonna make them all fly off."

"No, Matt, there will be two left if you
shoot one with a shotgun, but I like the
way you're thinking." the teacher responds.

"Well, teach, I've got a question for you...
There are 3 women that come out of
an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her
ice-cream cone, one is licking it, and
one is sucking on it. Which one is married?"

The teacher, a little taken back by the
question answers, "Well, uh, gee Matt,
I guess the one that's sucking on the ice cream."

Matt replies "No teach, the one that has
the wedding ring on her finger, but I like
the way you're thinking!"

turns the page...laughing....

questions...(scroll down for the answers)

1.A man and his son are in a car accident.
The father dies on the scene, but the child is
rushed to the hospital. When he arrives the surgeon says,
"I can't operate on this boy, he is my son!"
How can this be?

2.A man is wearing black. Black shoes,
socks, trousers, lumper, gloves &
balaclava. He is walking down a black street
with all the street lamps off.
A black car is coming towards him with its
light off but somehow manages to
stop in time. How did the driver see the man?

3.Why is it better to have round manhole covers
than square ones? (This is logical rather than lateral,
but it is a good puzzle that can be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used by a very well-known
software company as an interview question for prospective employees)

4. A man went to a party and drank some of the punch.
He then left early. Everyone else at the party
who drank the punch subsequently died of poisoning.
Why did the man not die?

5. A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for
a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun and
points it at the man. The man says 'Thank you'
and walks out. (This puzzle claims to be the best
of the genre. It is simple in its statement, absolutely
baffling and yet with a completely satisfying solution.
Most people struggle very hard to solve this one yet
they like the answer when they hear it or have
the satisfaction of figuring it out.)

SOLUTIONS


1. The surgeon was his mother.

2. It was day time.

3. A square manhole cover can be turned and
dropped down the diagonal of the manhole.
A round manhole cannot be dropped down
the manhole. So for safety and practicality,
all manhole covers should be round.

4. The poison in the punch came from the ice cubes.
When the man drank the punch, the ice was fully frozen.
Gradually it melted, poisoning the punch.

5. The man had hiccups. The barman
recognized this from his speech and drew
the gun in order to give him a shock.
It worked and cured the hiccups-so
the man no longer needed the water!!

Looks at you with a big grin...hehehe
Turns the page...

Nightly comment...
Honor above all things...
for if you loose it...your not living right


Nightly read:
Warrior Haiku by Joseki ko

"Night Night" turns out the light

 

[Raindear816]

The Donkey and The Goose A TRUE Story

Night Night, and here's a bit of southern humor from Florida....

es & HUGS To all.....

ok here's a lil redneck tale that true from a friend we affectionately call Maggot---

Maggot lives on a farm like me. He was just before taking another dip of Copenhagen, but paused to tell me a story that occurred on his farm the day before.

Turns out, Maggott had a donkey which was good for nothin' that loved to eat the chickens' corn and leave nasty trails all over the pasture.

Maggot's Momma bought a goose to keep the donkey company. The goose had a penchant for the corn that the donkey hadn't digested when he left a nasty trail. Pretty soon, the donkey and the goose were like velcro.

One day, the goose, in his infinite wisdom decided that picking the corn out would be much easier if he followed the donkey as close as possible.

The donkey felt the need to "have a movement", so he assumed the usual position.

The goose saw his opportunity to retrive one last piece of GOLDEN corn from the Donkey's still open poop-shoot (the original word was sphincter!).

When the goose hopped up to get the corn, its bill poked the donkey's butt, causing the donkey to squat deep --then jerk up fast and run.

Unfortunately, the goose's head became lodged in the donkey's ass. No matter what the goose did to get out, it just made the donkey tighten and run faster.

Picture this....a donkey--"hee-hawing", bucking and running for his life...while the greedy goose trapped in the darkness of the donkey's anus, flapped his wings frantically against the donkey's flanks (hind quarters) to no avail.

Finally, the goose went limp from lack of oxygen and pure exhaustion. The donkey eventually stopped, his sphincter relaxed, dropping the greedy and now very dirty, yet relieved goose from his butt.

"The DONKEY AND THE GOOSE AIN"T FRIENDS NO MORE" says Maggott.

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Night Night hump nite

Time for bed and a story to be read....
climb under the covers and tucks ya snug
sitting down I open the book I've found...
"Ready?"...looks at you and smiles....

"Oh my Ash~
that was funny thank you...

"How was your day?"

"Mine?...Just ducky,,,really went
to moms and helped her get the pump
working that feeds into the river for sumpting
the rivers water to quench her grass and garden.
Then the stumps were piled up around the pier
so I waded out to push them off back down
river and why is that they were just out
far enough that my rubber boots were
about 1 inch to short...yep even while
wearing them the water flooded in them
and I got wet any way...so when we say
I want to get it wet we can't but if
we want to keep dry...well hehehehe
we get wet....well the river was lovely
as always and a tranquil sunset was worth
the endeavor.....and how was your day?"

This is from S~

Once there was an elephant,
Who tried to use the telephant-
No! No! I mean an elephone
Who tried to use the telephone-
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
That even now I've got it right.)

Howe'er it was, he got his trunk
Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
The louder buzzed the telephee-
(I fear I'd better drop the song
Of elephop and telephong!)

Laura E. Richards

hhehehehehehe...thanks S~
opens th book and starts to read....

I woke up this morning
I woke up this morning
At quarter past seven.
I kicked up the covers
And stuck out my toe.

And ever since then
(thats a quarter past seven)
They havent said anything
Other than "no."

They havent said anything
Other than "please dear,
Don't do what you're doing."
Or "lower your voice."

Whatever I've done
And however I've chosen,
I've done the wrong thing
And I've made the wrong choice.

I didn't wash well
And I didn't say thankyou.
I didn't shake hands
And i didn't say please.

I didn't say sorry
When passing the candy.
I banged the box into
Miss Wietlelson's knees.

I didn't say sorry.
I didn't stand straighter.
I didn't speak louder
When asked what I'd said.

Well, I said
That tomorrow
At quarter past seven

They can
Come in and get me.
I'm staying in bed!!

hehehehe zzzzzzz...thanks Myst~
turns the page...ok joke time......

A couple drove down a country road,
not saying a word. An earlier discussion
had led to an argument, and neither
would concede their position. As they
passed a barnyard of mules and pigs,
the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives
of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied.
"In-laws."

hehehehehe turns the page...lol

The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls'
school was lecturing her students on
sexual morality. "We live today in very
difficult times for young people. In moments
of temptation," she said, "ask yourself just
one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth
a lifetime of shame?" A young woman rose
in the back of the room and said, "Excuse
me, but how do you make it last an hour?"


loks at you and smiles......(~_*)
turns the page......

Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom
one day only catch him sitting on the side
of his bed sliding on a condom. Johnny's father,
in attempt to hide his full erection with a
condom on it, bent over as if to look under
the bed. Little Johnny asked curiously
"What ya doin dad?" His father quickly replied,
"I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed,
to which Little Johnny replied "What ya gonna
do, fuck him?"

Closes the book of tales.....smiles...

Nightly comment:
Everyone is three people...
who their family and freinds see them as....
how they see them selves...
and who they really are...

Nightly read: Steppin' on Toe's

there are so many I wish to link here
and will but elizabetht has several new ones
and Annora's Red Doors which are great sessions
of a sex theropist...and more...links in my
signature if you can't wait till they get put
on the Night Nights list.....smile...Jo...Crim...LadyS~

"Night Night" turns out the light....

 

[someplace]

Very very fun! Thanks so much.

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Thru Night Night~

Climb in bed and get ready for a story
to be read...cover up and tuck ya snug...
Sits and opens my book of tails...lol
"Ready?" ..smiles..."How was your day?"

"My Day?"

As always I learn something new...
of course today was a very hard working
day, I got to pressure wash and scrub the
outside of the ranch house and guest house
and they are huge, when I come home from
lunch I checked my stories as I always do...
there sat an ugly comment on a story????
Some people are so deeply twisted they
are like the spider webs that clinged to the
outside of the house. Those that practice to
decieve, the web they weave. Well like the
webs that are in your house I just took a
broom and swept it away,...smiles...not to fret
all clean now...hehehehehe...if you have a
comment from some one that shows a poor
mentality...just delete it and call it cleaning
house....smiles...SEE...all clean...hehehehe

The other thing that got me today is that
animals don't get imbaressed, if you can
thing of an animal that does please tell me.
this horse walks up and raised its tail and
let out one loud and deathly fart, and walks
about two steps then shits, they don't go
running around a building like I do to pee.
they just wiz where they are. A hawk came
flying low and landed on the fence, I looked
at it and it looked at me and poop, while
looking at me, they just don't care where
they go....lol...or perhaps their trying to
tell me something....lmao....

The lil foul is doing great, it was experimenting
with water today and of course turns every thing
into play, by splashing water and thought that
was cool so it did it for fun many many times
It was cute....ok story time.....

A woman goes to her doctor, complaining
that her husband is 300% impotent.
The doctor says, "I'm not sure I understand
what you mean." She says, "Well, the first
100% you can imagine. In addition,
he burned his tongue and broke his finger!"

lol....turns the page...lol

A mother and her son were flying Southwest
Airlines from Oakland to Kansas City.

The son, who had been looking out the
window, turned to his mother and said,
"If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats
have baby cats, why don't big planes have
baby planes? The mother, who couldn't think
of an answer, told her son to ask the flight
attendant.

So, the little boy asked the flight attendant,
"If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats
have baby cats, why don't big planes have
baby planes?" The flight attendant asked,
"Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"
He said that she had.

With a clever grin, she said, "Tell your mother
it's because Southwest Airlines always pulls
out on time."

lmao...smiles and pulls.....out.......
my bookmark...hehehehehehee

In reaching his plane seat, a man is
surprised to see a parrot strapped into
the seat next to him. The man asks the
stewardess for a cup of coffee and the
parrot squawks, "And why don't you get
me a whisky you bitch." The stewardess,
flustered by the parrot's outburst, brings
back a whisky for the parrot but inadvertently
forgets the man's cup of coffee. As the man
nicely points out the omission of his coffee to
the stewardess, the parrot downs his drink
and shouts, "And get me another whisky you
slut." Visibly shaken, the stewardess comes
back with the parrot's whisky but still no
coffee for the man. Unaccustomed to such
slackness, the man decides that he is going
to try the parrots approach, "I've asked you
twice for a cup of coffee wench, I expect you
to get it for me right now or I'm going to slap
that disgustingly ugly face of yours!" Next
thing they know, both the man and the
parrot are wrenched up and thrown out
of the emergency exit by 2 burly stewards.
Plunging downwards to the ground the
parrot turns to the man and says, "For
someone who can't fly, you sure are a
lippy bastard... "

Close's my book of tales....

Nightly comment,
The tangled web they weave,
those who sign anonymously...smiles.

and ...

The only thing constant........
is change.....

Nightly read: Samurai (a poem by Art)

"Night Night" turns out the light

 

[My Erotic Tail]

TGIF Nite Nite

A little tale to help you shut your eyes...
covers tucked and snuggled good...
Open my book and start to read...
"Ready?".......
There once was a monastery that was
very strict. Following a vow of silence, no
one was allowed to speak at all. But there
was one exception to this rule. Every ten
years, the monks were permitted to speak
just two words. After spending his first ten
years at the monastery, one monk went to
the head monk. "It has been ten years,"
said the head monk. "What are the two
words you would like to speak?"
"Bed... hard..." said the monk.

"I see," replied the head monk.

Ten years later, the monk returned to
the head monk's office. "It has been ten
more years," said the head monk.
"What are the two words you would
like to speak?"

"Food... stinks..." said the monk.

"I see," replied the head monk.

Yet another ten years passed and the monk
once again met with the head monk who
asked, "What are your two words now,
after these ten years?"

"I... quit!" said the monk.

"Well, I can see why," replied the head
monk. "All you ever do is complain."

*Looks at you and say's*...
"wonder if they were allowed to write?"
turns the page.....hehehehe

Confusious Says...

Woman who cooks beans and peas in
same pot very unsanitary.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Baseball very funny game--man with
4 balls no can walk!!

Woman who dance while wearing jock
strap have make believe ballroom.

Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.

Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.

Secretary not permanent, till screwed on desk.

A girl's best asset is her 'lie'ability.

Support bacteria -- it's the only culture
some people have!

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor.

Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake
with smelly finger.

Baby conceived on back seat of car with
automatic transmission grow up to be
shiftless bastard.

Boy who go to bed with sex problem
wake up with solution in hand.

Kotex not best thing on earth, but next
to best thing.

Man with athletic finger make broad jump.

He who fishes in another man's well
often catches crab.

Man who speaks with forked tongue
should not kiss balloons.

Man who lose key to apartment not
get new key.

He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.

Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.

Man who argue with wife all day get no peace at night.

Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.

He who eats too many prunes, sits
on toilet many moons.

Elevator smell different to midget.

hehehehehehe.."Oh MY"...lol
turns the page....

"How was your Day?...
(now don't be shy ...surely you have had something
happen in your day that has enlightened your
life ....share with me....smiles)

My Day!!!"

I came across a birds nest today that had fallen
from a tree that was poorly fastenend...
it had 6 pinkish speckled eggs in it. So put the
nest back with a ladder and put wet mud around
it and made sure it was fastened better...Then
kept my eye on it to see if mom and dad would
come back...well they did...purple martins...
cute they went back to taking care of the nest
...must be the strong winds we've had
lately...the winds of change?" But the time
taken to put a home back together is well
worth it.....

Nightly comment: Forgiveness will not change the
past ...but will enlarge the future.

Nightly Read: Mirror Mirror 5 (by Elizabetht)

"Night Night" turns out the light

 

[TantaLiza]

Sendin' out a TN hug and kiss....

Thank heavens I'm home!!!!

~A

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Saurday Night~

The Night has come and sleepy time.
Hop in bed and let me read a tale...
sits and opens my book..."Ready?"
"How was your day?"......"Mine?"

I went to my moms and she found a box
that had...well guess?...yep pictures.....
seems moms like to reflect back at the
family photos...your mom like that?...
well its nice to spend a few minutes with
the one who brought you into this world
so don't forget mom tomorrow....smiles...

"Ready for the nightly tale?"
The earliest Mother's Day celebrations can be traced back to the spring celebrations of ancient Greece in honor of Rhea, the Mother of the Gods. During the 1600's, England celebrated a day called "Mothering Sunday". Celebrated on the 4th Sunday of Lent (the 40 day period leading up to Easter), "Mothering Sunday" honored the mothers of England.

"During this time many of the England's poor worked as servants for the wealthy. As most jobs were located far from their homes, the servants would live at the houses of their employers. On Mothering Sunday the servants would have the day off and were encouraged to return home and spend the day with their mothers. A special cake, called the "mothering cake," was often brought along to provide a festive touch."

Smiles...turns the page...

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where
you think you have to go, young man.
Midnight is past your curfew!"

MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money
your father and I spent on braces, Mona,
that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: "Humpty, if I've
told you once, I've told you a hundred times
not to sit on that wall. But would you listen
to me? Noooo!"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what
you've discovered, Christopher. You still
could have written!"

BABE RUTH'S MOTHER: "Babe, how many
times have I told you to quit playing ball
in the house! That's the third broken window this week!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Mike, can't you
paint on walls like other children? Do you have
any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, Napoleon.
If you aren't hiding your report card inside
your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!"

CUSTER'S MOTHER: "Now, George, remember
what I told you - don't go biting off more
than you can chew!"

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with
the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear
a baseball cap like the other kids?"

BARNEY'S MOTHER: "I realize strained plums
are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting
to look a little purple."

BATMAN'S MOTHER: "It's a nice car, Bruce,
but do you realize how much the insurance
is going to be?"

GOLDILOCKS' MOTHER: "I've got a bill here
for a busted chair from the Bear family.
You know anything about this, Goldie?"

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But, Albert,
it's your senior picture. Can't you do something
about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"

JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story, but
now tell me where you've really been for
the last three days."

SUPERMAN'S MOTHER: "Clark, your father and
I have discussed it, and we've decided you
can have your own telephone line. Now will
you quit spending so much time in all those
phone booths?"

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course
I'm proud that you invented the electric
light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light
and get to bed!"

hehehehe...smiles...turns the page...

"Here are some interesting animal facts
concerning mother hood.

A baby baleen whale depends on its mother's
milk diet for at least six months.

A baby Harp seal doubles its weight in only
five days after birth, thanks to the amount
of protein in its mother's milk.

It takes a horse sixty days to double its birth weight.

A female kangaroo that has become a
recent mother holds a reserve embryo
inside of her after her first baby has
crawled into her pouch. This embryo is an
"emergency back-up" baby, should the first
one die prematurely.

A mother giraffe often gives birth while
standing, so the newborn's first experience
outside the womb is a 1.8-meter (6-foot) drop.

An AT&T survey estimated that 122.5 million
phone calls to Mom are made on Mother's Day.
Other Mother's Day findings revealed that 11
percent never call their mothers, and 3
percent of the 68 percent planning to ring
Mom up called her collect.

If frightened or threatened, a mother rabbit
may abandon, ignore, or eat her young.

In 340 B.C., Aristotle observed that dolphins
gave birth to live young that were attached
to their mothers by umbilical cords. For this
reason, he considered dolphins and related
creatures to be mammals. Twenty-four centuries
later, biologists agreed with him.

In the vast majority of the world's languages,
the word for "mother" begins with the letter M.

Just like people, mother chimpanzees often
develop lifelong relationships with their offspring.

Kittens are born both blind and deaf, but the
vibration of their mother's purring is a physical
signal that the kittens can feel - it acts like a
homing device, signaling them to nurse.

Missy is the name of Snoopy's mother from
the Peanuts cartoon strip.

Mother Mexican free-tailed bats find and nurse
their own young, even in huge colonies
where many millions of babies cluster at up
to 500 bats per square foot.

Mother prairie dogs will nurse their young
only while underground in the safety of the
burrow. If an infant tries to suckle above
ground, the mother will slap it.

The average woman in 17th-century America
gave birth to 13 children.

The eggs of the marsupial frog are laid in
a brood pouch on the mother's back, and
the young hatch out in a zipper-like fashion
from the pouch.

The embryos of tiger sharks fight each other
while in their mother's womb, the survivor
being the baby shark that is born.

There is a strong bond between mother
and child among orangutans. Orangutan
infants cling almost continually to their
mothers until they are 1½ years old.

When baby opossum are born, they are
so small that an entire litter can fit in a
tablespoon. They live inside their mother's
pouch for three months before climbing out
and riding on her back."

"Interesting."...smiles and turns the page...

Little Johnny had to pee one night when he was
headed towards the bathroom and saw his mom
rubbing herself and saying.."God I need a man"

The next night little Johnny had to pee in the middle
of the night again and on the way to the bathroom
he saw his mom in bed with a strange man....

The next morning little Johnny asked his mother...
to pray for him a new bike..The mother said.."You
can pray for you a new bike?"..Little Johnny replied.
"I did and nothing happen, your prayers work better!"

hehehehehehe...smiles...closes the book....

Nightly comment: Courage is the key to unlocking
the chains of fear, For the only thing to fear is
fear itself. For life is a roller coaster ride which
some go with the flow, except and enjoy, others
hang on for fear and worry, and still some never
open their eyes and become sickened.

Nightly read: River Boat (the journey begins)

"Night Night"...turns out the light...

 

[Raindear816]

nitenite

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Mother's Day Night~

Grab ya a drink and curl up and get
ready...for tonight is Mother's Day Nite~
A special treat for you as I was lucky
enough to have this tale come out at the
right time..."Ready?".....

This nightly read has a wealth of information,
humor and tales...all in the name of .....Moms!

.............Mother's Day tale.............

Nightly comment: The bond between a Mother and
child is unmatched and grows as a flower to bloom
forever.

"Night Night" ...Turns out the light...

 

[Raindear816]

nitenite Art:kiss and bama HUGS!

[color=sky blue]

Sweet Dreams[/color]