Newbie with Question

[BerksMartin43]

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[Eilan]

Welcome to Lit.

I certainly can't speak for everyone else, but I'm flattered, not insulted, to recieve PM's like the ones you've described.

I think it's probably all in your delivery. A polite PM would certainly be more well-received than a "Hey, baby! Wanna fuck?" message. For most people, anyway.

 

[SweetErika]

Welcome to Lit.

I certainly can't speak for everyone else, but I'm flattered, not insulted, to recieve PM's like the ones you've described.

I think it's probably all in your delivery. A polite PM would certainly be more well-received than a "Hey, baby! Wanna fuck?" message. For most people, anyway.

Complete agreement here. It depends on the situation, but I also appreciate it when someone has taken the time to fill in their profile or tell a little about themselves and contribute. A question or two that isn't of the "Wanna cyber/fuck/meet?" or "Are those your tits?" variety is a good way to kick off a conversation.

 

[phoenix1224]

I would suggest posting on the boards for a little while FIRST in order for people to get a bit of a feel for you.

One thing that you might want to keep in mind is that a lot of the Lit ladies DO have Lit guys...

There was a newbie a few months back that was flirting with pretty much every woman that he came into contact with on the GB... Including MY woman (which is no big deal... so long as it's innocent flirting... and it's kept on the boards)... But, when he began to send naughty PMs to my woman, I had to PM him to politely tell him to back off... I really HATED having to do that...

So, again, post on the boards for a bit, let everyone get a feel for you, and when you find yourself flirting back and forth a bit with someone, THEN send them a PM.

And, as already stated, be POLITE about it... DON'T send a PM saying something like "Hey, I like your tits in your AV," or "Wanna fuck?"... THOSE types of PMs are frowned upon.

 

[Bandit58]

Phoenix pretty well said it, I know I don't like getting the "hey I like your av wanna fuck/cyber/roleplay" crap especially from guys young enough to be my son *shudder*

A nice polite "hello I read your post on such-and-such a thread and I'd like to get to know you better" goes down a whole lot better. And if they're really offensive PMs I set Gil on to them

 

[SweetErika]

I would suggest posting on the boards for a little while FIRST in order for people to get a bit of a feel for you.

One thing that you might want to keep in mind is that a lot of the Lit ladies DO have Lit guys...

There was a newbie a few months back that was flirting with pretty much every woman that he came into contact with on the GB... Including MY woman (which is no big deal... so long as it's innocent flirting... and it's kept on the boards)... But, when he began to send naughty PMs to my woman, I had to PM him to politely tell him to back off... I really HATED having to do that...

So, again, post on the boards for a bit, let everyone get a feel for you, and when you find yourself flirting back and forth a bit with someone, THEN send them a PM.

And, as already stated, be POLITE about it... DON'T send a PM saying something like "Hey, I like your tits in your AV," or "Wanna fuck?"... THOSE types of PMs are frowned upon.

Great advice, and I always look at profiles and post history when I get a pm from someone I'm unfamiliar with.

I'd like to add if it's strictly platonic and the person PMing me has no intention of cybering or anything like that, I usually don't care about how much they've posted. I've met some amazing people who weren't big on posting or stuck to one thread.

 

[Leeleigh]

I read every pm I get, cause I am a writer here. I always thank those who take the time to tell me what they think about what I have written, good or bad.

I was getting lots of pm's over a remark I made in a thread. Some of them were nice, others were of the "here is a picture of my cock, wanna fuck it" variety. It would be nice if people would remember that I am a person with a brain and intelligence first and foremost, not just a woman with a vagina.

The best way to pm someone is to remember that they are a person behind that name, and treat them with some respect and dignity from the beginning. If repect and dignity is not what they want, they will let you know, and you can go from there... but you have not offended someone who could become a great friend/buddy right off the bat. Its always better to err on the side of caution.

 

[BerksMartin43]

Thank you Folks

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[Leeleigh]

Thank you all so far for your responses and I have taken them all on board and don't worry I am definately not the sort to send ignorant PM's ... that is why I like most of the boards I have seen so far on here because the people are able to string more than 2 words together ..

Many thanks and hope to see some of you around

The only way you can learn is to ask questions. And as far as PM's go, if people don't want them, they have the ability to turn them off under their preferences.

 

[Bob Briton]

Thank you all so far for your responses and I have taken them all on board and don't worry I am definately not the sort to send ignorant PM's ... that is why I like most of the boards I have seen so far on here because the people are able to string more than 2 words together ..

Many thanks and hope to see some of you around

Hi (is it?) Martin.
Welcome to the Lit

You will do well with your PM's as you asked about it in the first place! Great replies too.

I took a couple of months to get to know people and I remember my first PM well.
Dead chuffed I was. And after a while you start yahooing/MSN friends too.

Have fun..

 

[Etaski]

Aarrrgh! Cute Kitty but the curiosity is killing me!!!

Mr. Bob Briton,

I'm intensely curious as to what "dead chuffed" means. Will you please tell me? My UK slang is rudimentary at best.

(btw, I did a brief search on msn, but only came up with "he was dead chuffed", "he felt dead chuffed", "he'll be dead chuffed when he does," sentences. Is it a good thing or a bad thing?!)

 

[Quoll]

Mr. Bob Briton,

I'm intensely curious as to what "dead chuffed" means. Will you please tell me? My UK slang is rudimentary at best.

(btw, I did a brief search on msn, but only came up with "he was dead chuffed", "he felt dead chuffed", "he'll be dead chuffed when he does," sentences. Is it a good thing or a bad thing?!)

Hope you don`t mind Bob.

Dead Chuffed = Very Very Happy or thereabouts.

Absolutely stoked I could help.

 

[Bob Briton]

Mr. Bob Briton,

I'm intensely curious as to what "dead chuffed" means. Will you please tell me? My UK slang is rudimentary at best.

(btw, I did a brief search on msn, but only came up with "he was dead chuffed", "he felt dead chuffed", "he'll be dead chuffed when he does," sentences. Is it a good thing or a bad thing?!)

Hi Etaski

Thanx quoll for explaining it perfectly.

We do have strange slang here where a negative word like "dead" is used to amplify a postive word.

The best example is "Lit is bollocks" means that Lit is rubbish or crap.
But "Lit is the dog's bollocks" means Lit is the best thing yet!

Oh great quote in your signature..The Sandman is my all time favourite.

 

[Etaski]

Thank ye muchly!

I appreciate that, thank you, BobBriton and quoll!
Something negative to amplify a positive....yes, I've met with slang like that in the States, too, but sometimes it still makes me do a double-take like your post did. ("Dude, that was so Bad! Like, totally Phat!" Or something like that.....The first time a guy told me he thought a lady was Phat, I thought he was a jerk. "What do you mean? She's skinny as a rail!")
And I'm quite glad you recognized the character in the line! Sandman is one of those truly fantastic worlds, in the original meaning of the phrase.

Oh...and the original topic of the thread! My only experience with PM's so far is guys wanting cybersex (though I don't think I understood for the longest time---it wasn't as obvious to me, surprisingly). But I always thought sharing ancedotes and thoughts was a good way to feel around for people's receptiveness to furthur conversation!

 

[Etaski]

"Dead Chuffed" would make a good name for a band! (a la Dave Barry, Miami Herald funny guy).

Jus' sayin'.

 

[JRaven]

Somtimes, I get a PM from someone that says he likes my AV. I usually send a PM reply and thank them.

Yesterday, I got a PM from a guy that described (in 2nd person ) how he was going to suck on and chew my tit. Then he offered to allow me to finish his fantasy.

His PM was deleted. Don't be that guy.

Jenny

 

[BigM]

Yesterday, I got a PM from a guy that described (in 2nd person ) how he was going to suck on and chew my tit. Then he offered to allow me to finish his fantasy. His PM was deleted. Don't be that guy.

Jenny

This sounds like something a wussy Alan Alda would say, but as a guy, it embarrasses the hell out of me to see my fellow man act so hard-up. Then again, maybe it works for him.

 

[BerksMartin43]

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[Ravin the Poet]

I don't get PM's so I don't have an answer

But, I think it would be good. I don't see anything wrong with sending a PM. The person can read it and then delete it if they don't want to reply. I know people never respond to me, but it's expected when your younger and they see you as "inmature"


Ravin

 

[zukethecuke]

Hi Etaski

Thanx quoll for explaining it perfectly.

We do have strange slang here where a negative word like "dead" is used to amplify a postive word.

The best example is "Lit is bollocks" means that Lit is rubbish or crap.
But "Lit is the dog's bollocks" means Lit is the best thing yet!

Oh great quote in your signature..The Sandman is my all time favourite.

"Dead" doesn't always refer to something that's died. In phrases such as "dead reckoning," "dead center," and "dead ahead" it means "exactly" or "absolutely". In phrases such as "dead of night" or "dead of winter" it has a similar meaning, referring to the period of greatest intensity.

 

[lovablo]

The only way you can learn is to ask questions. And as far as PM's go, if people don't want them, they have the ability to turn them off under their preferences.

Well I am asking a question wanting to learn something. I am new to Lit and have my PM's turned off. If I were to turn them on when and how would I get my PM's? I hope this doesn't sound to stupid but like I said I am new here. Do you just receive them while you are logged on to lit? How do you know you have a PM? I am thinking of changing my preferences and updating my profile, but don't want anyone other than myself to see my PM's. Thanks for the advise and schooling.

 

[BerksMartin43]

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[rcuhljr]

Well I am asking a question wanting to learn something. I am new to Lit and have my PM's turned off. If I were to turn them on when and how would I get my PM's? I hope this doesn't sound to stupid but like I said I am new here. Do you just receive them while you are logged on to lit? How do you know you have a PM? I am thinking of changing my preferences and updating my profile, but don't want anyone other than myself to see my PM's. Thanks for the advise and schooling.

Well only you can see your PM's hence private messages. When you get one the little box in the upper right will tell you, for example mine says...

Welcome, rcuhljr.
You last visited: Today at 05:30 PM
Private Messages: 0 Unread, Total 54.

if I get a new one private messages turns bold. You can click on it to check your PM box (basically like email, but only on these forums) and reply/forward, etc. etc.

in fact for this example just consider PM's email, that instead of using an email address for, you use the persons posting name.

 

[lovablo]

Virgin

How many post do you have to make to loose your virginity?

 

[rcuhljr]

100 posts