Newbie Questions about S&M

[Shadowbender55]

I'm fairly new to this, so please, go easy on me with this.

I'm wondering how S&M works and what it takes to be a master. Because in my experience of B&D, I'm more comfortable of being in a dominant role with the whip rather than the one being whipped.

Does S&M work the same way?

Just wondering.

 

[graceanne]

I'd start by going through the bdsm library thread. Theres a sticky at the top. Also pay attention and participate in conversations.

 

[myinnerslut]

im getting confused about your abrrieviations... you say youve been the dominant already? you already have experience with whipping somebody? what exactly are you trying new? being more specific might get more responses

 

[Shadowbender55]

Right

I'd start by going through the bdsm library thread. Theres a sticky at the top. Also pay attention and participate in conversations.

Sure, I"ll have a look. Thanks

 

[Shadowbender55]

Hmmmm.

im getting confused about your abrrieviations... you say youve been the dominant already? you already have experience with whipping somebody? what exactly are you trying new? being more specific might get more responses

Well, as someone said that I shoudl try looking through the BDSM library thread. So I'll start from there before I answer that.

 

[Never]

Questions from a vanilla:

What's a dragon tail?
What's a double sweep?

Google is not being kind today.

 

[Never]

I'm fairly new to this, so please, go easy on me with this.

I'm wondering how S&M works and what it takes to be a master. Because in my experience of B&D, I'm more comfortable of being in a dominant role with the whip rather than the one being whipped.

Does S&M work the same way?

Just wondering.

The sadist whips the masochist, rarely the other way around.

If you're a sadistic dominant, I doubt anyone who shows interest will want you to be whipped. Being a sadistic dominant doesn't make one a Master, however. One can be a Master without being a sadist.

 

[Kailey_86]

i would try taking a look at this site. It was very very helpful for me when i was first starting out. It has all sorts of information on being a Dom and a sub and D/s.

www.submissiveloving.com

 

[Shadowbender55]

THat much.

The sadist whips the masochist, rarely the other way around.

If you're a sadistic dominant, I doubt anyone who shows interest will want you to be whipped. Being a sadistic dominant doesn't make one a Master, however. One can be a Master without being a sadist.

That much I understand so far. But what happens in real deep S&M relationships? I heard something about the use of a contract or something along those lines, what's that about?

 

[Shadowbender55]

Sure

i would try taking a look at this site. It was very very helpful for me when i was first starting out. It has all sorts of information on being a Dom and a sub and D/s.

www.submissiveloving.com

Sure, I'll look at it.

 

[Never]

That much I understand so far. But what happens in real deep S&M relationships? I heard something about the use of a contract or something along those lines, what's that about?

I've always thought of a contract as being slightly anal. Business deals are written down, relationships are constantly worked through.

Others find them romantic, symbolic, respectful, safe, and/or a ritual of commitment.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

That much I understand so far. But what happens in real deep S&M relationships? I heard something about the use of a contract or something along those lines, what's that about?

are you talking about Sadist/masochist or are you talking about Master/slave? S&M USUALLY refers to Sadomasochism..and M/s usually means Master/slave. B&D refers to Bondage & discipline. i'm not sure if you have your abbreviations messed up or what, but usually in a S&M (Sadomasochism) just means someone in the relationship is a Sadist and the other is a masochist, it has nothing to do with submission and Dominance, well it doesn't have to anyway. so i think in order to get good answers you will need to be a little more clear on what exactly your looking for. in Master/slave there is alot of times a contract, but not always. *shrugs* your question and abbreviations have confused me

 

[catalina_francisco]

That much I understand so far. But what happens in real deep S&M relationships? I heard something about the use of a contract or something along those lines, what's that about?

Contracts are usually for more than just SM, and are up to those involved whether they want one or not. We thought about it, but when it came down to getting together, we didn't bother having one.

Catalina

 

[Never]

Any answers to my questions?

 

[Shadowbender55]

Which?

Any answers to my questions?

Which questions did you mean?

 

[Never]

What's a dragon tail?
What's a double sweep?

They're newbie questions as well.

 

[Shadowbender55]

I See.

What's a dragon tail?
What's a double sweep?

They're newbie questions as well.

Oh, okay. I see what you mean.

I was told that there was a BDSM library here in this forum, so maybe it might be in there.

 

[Never]

Nevermind,

Double swing: weild two whips, one in each hand, simultaneously, in a pleasing rhythmic pattern.

Dragon tail: a design of whip, usually made of a single piece of suede (or similarly soft and pliable leather), rolled up on the diagonal to form an uneven cylinder. The end furthest from the dowel ends in a singular layer of material. Swinging it is most similar to snapping or cracking a towel; it makes a similar sound, and a similar (if substantially greater) sting when landed properly.

No, it's not in the library.

 

[trisquel_astur]

What's a dragon tail?
What's a double sweep?

They're newbie questions as well.

Hi, Never! and welcome to this part of the sensuality world.

Here you have a site with a very complet glosary of BDsM terms

I hope it will be useful for you, and of course you can ask all that you want.

 

[Never]

trisquel_astur:
"Hi, Never! and welcome to this part of the sensuality world."

Hmm.. I've been here for a few years. Thank you though. Good to know the welcome wagon is still coming around.

"Here you have a site with a very complet glosary of BDsM terms

I hope it will be useful for you, and of course you can ask all that you want."

Nice link.

 

[trisquel_astur]

Hmm.. I've been here for a few years. Thank you though. Good to know the welcome wagon is still coming around.

Well, I realized that you are in Lit sice a lot (your number of posts is very high!), but never seen before in the BDSM area. Myabe my mistake. But well as first time we talked, "Pleased to meet you!"

Nice link.

Thanks.

 

[Never]

I don't post much here anymore. However, I was around when cymbidia made the original thread in the GB and later founded this forum. It wasn't that long ago but forums are like cats, for every one year in the real world, seven years pass for them.


It's a pleasure to meet you as well.

 

[trisquel_astur]

As you can see I'm a lot much newbie than you.

I don't go too much to GB, thought I should.

 

[Lorelei_11]

i would try taking a look at this site. It was very very helpful for me when i was first starting out. It has all sorts of information on being a Dom and a sub and D/s.

www.submissiveloving.com

I'm new here as well. I'll check it out, thanks. I'm not positive what the exact definitions are, this is what I've been looking for.

 

[the captians wench]

That much I understand so far. But what happens in real deep S&M relationships? I heard something about the use of a contract or something along those lines, what's that about?

Contracts can be as formal or informal as the two participating make them. And like others have said this usually refurs to Master/slave relationships rather than SM.

Jounar and I have something of a contract. It's something of a ritual of ours, (one of the very few we have) and started when I first submitted to him. When he first accepted me as his sub, the very first assignment I was given was to send him an email stating that I submit to his command yatta yatta yatta. Then with every new thing that we've added to my regular rutine, ie sitting on tacks when ever he has the whim and orgasm control and what not, I send a new email stating what it is that I agree to.

I've heard of some where their hard limits are listed, and others where deal breakers are listed so like I said, what it is is really up to you.