Newbie feedback NONCON / Taboo genre

[PopMyCeeri]

Hi
I'm new author PopMyCeeri and I'd love some feedback on a story that I've posted.
It is n the NonCon/ Reluctance category as it really has a fee categories within it.

Megan and her family
Little Megan's Family Ties is currently 2-3 chapters depending on when this post is seen.
The link to ch.01 is here:
https://www.literotica.com/s/little-megans-family-ties-ch-01

Need ideas for where this can go
Is this too much with too many genres going on?
Should it be pacier? Slower? Burnt with fire???

All positive critique and thoughts are welcomed!

 

[Jada59]

Hi
I'm new author PopMyCeeri and I'd love some feedback on a story that I've posted.
It is n the NonCon/ Reluctance category as it really has a fee categories within it.

Megan and her family
Little Megan's Family Ties is currently 3-4 chapters depending on when this post is seen.
The link to ch.01 is here:
https://www.literotica.com/s/little-megans-family-ties-ch-01

Need ideas for where this can go
Is this too much with too many genres going on?
Should it be packer? Slower? Burnt with fire???

All positive critique and thoughts are welcomed!

I only see two chapters.

First let me say that I'm not into incest at all so the dynamics of that makes no sense to me. I also don't get the non-con part. Didn't seem that way to me. But the story also seemed conflicted. She didn't want to see Brad and yet all he had to do was tell her where he was, and then she went in there? Why was she saying mean things to the step-brother if she really wanted him? Why was he away for a year? Why was she calling out their names? I never call out a name unless I'm actually with a person and even then, I probably won't call out their name, Why did the men want her? Just too much I don't understand.

I also didn't feel that the story was erotic. But maybe that's just me.

 

[PopMyCeeri]

Aaaah. So it's a 'burn it with fire' story, then...

Jada59
OK. Asked and answered.
I've tried to match the comments with the story.

"I only see two chapters".
Yup. Said it would be few depending on when the pe dings get loaded up.

"First let me say that I'm not into incest at all so the dynamics of that makes no sense to me."
Noted.

"I also don't get the non-con part. Didn't seem that way to me."
And I think that is the tension between what this site will and won't let you publish.
I saw a post in one of these forums where they spoke about the reality of the taboo/ noncon IRL. Mostly criminal and underage. Neither of which are condoned by the writing or editors of this website. So mostly these are muted non con if you wish to get published here.

"...But the story also seemed conflicted. She didn't want to see Brad and yet all he had to do was tell her where he was, and then she went in there? ..."
Stepdad. Parent figure calling you to come here. I think that might be the answer on that one.

"Why was she saying mean things to the step-brother if she really wanted him? ..."

'...The secret third in a sexy trio fantasy that Megan was deeply ashamed of but couldn't banish from her dreams... although she secretly revelled in the possessive attention, she knew she needed to also hide these feelings...'
Self protection and Diversion tactics.
I think in future writing I'll need to state that more clearly than in this story.
Is there a better way to impart that bit of background info?
Any suggestions would be great!


"...Why was he away for a year?..."
Great Qu! Answered in Ch 02.
I thought writers took time to unfold the story.
Maybe I didn't put enough in this to make it a page turner so readers would continue to find out why. Will need to think about how to do that a bit better in future.

"...Why was she calling out their names? I never call out a name unless I'm actually with a person and even then, I probably won't call out their name, ..."
Not sure what this related to, so I'll have another read to see if that makes it clearer.

"...Why did the men want her? Just too much I don't understand..."
I think that was in Ch02 but if this was a cursory read it would be easy to skip over that bit.

"...I also didn't feel that the story was erotic. But maybe that's just me."
Noted. No worries.

I've so much to learn and improve on so this was super helpful.

Overall Thank you for taking the time to critique the first chapter of this unfolding story.
Aye a good idea to go to the pending chapters and update with useful tips and comments from this and other helpful comments.

I really appreciate it!

I only see two chapters.

First let me say that I'm not into incest at all so the dynamics of that makes no sense to me. I also don't get the non-con part. Didn't seem that way to me. But the story also seemed conflicted. She didn't want to see Brad and yet all he had to do was tell her where he was, and then she went in there? Why was she saying mean things to the step-brother if she really wanted him? Why was he away for a year? Why was she calling out their names? I never call out a name unless I'm actually with a person and even then, I probably won't call out their name, Why did the men want her? Just too much I don't understand.

I also didn't feel that the story was erotic. But maybe that's just me.

 

[PopMyCeeri]

Burning it with fire...or minding the gaps...

Anyone who is OK with the genre wanna weigh in with any critique or comments.
As a reminder Ch 01 is here
https://www.literotica.com/s/little-megans-family-ties-ch-01

 

[LesDesirable]

You like adjectives. You like them very much.

You stopped the story in the middle of the first scene, making it rather incomplete and difficult to rate.

Some ( a lot) of punctuation problems, and some poor dialogue attribution, mostly due to your love of slightly excessive adjectives.

The story itself seems to be something worth pursuing, but that is hard to tell.
Ms. Perfect, Mr. Perfect, Mr. Perfect Jr. almost have sex.

It needs to be refined and completed.