I would like feedback on my first story please

[Bangerb]

I just published my first story and have had a few comments. I would like a little more feedback if I can get it. I welcome bad along with good as I believe it will help me to produce better future stories for the readers.
This is the first chapter in the story, I do not know how many total chapters there will be but right now I have three more already written and ready to publish. I wanted to wait a bit before publishing more to see how the first chapter is received.
Thank you in advance.

Author name: Bangerb
Categories: Incest/Taboo
Story link:
https://literotica.com/s/watching-dena-watch-me-ch-01

 

[annabellebrito]

I'll give it a read.

 

[Bangerb]

Thank you so much annabellebrito. I hope you like it and I believe the next chapters get better, with content and writing.

 

[Bangerb]

A little choppy but hot AF

Thank you so much. I've had stories in my head for a long time but have never written before. Can you explain more about "choppy"? I appreciate your feedback.

 

[Bangerb]

Chapter 2 was published today:
https://literotica.com/s/watching-dena-watch-me-ch-02

Have a read if you'd like. Chapter 3 is pending and 4 and 5 are completed and will be sent in to publish in order.

 

[yukonnights]

I only have one major concern -> Delete this comment because it is ridiculous;

Anonymous 6 days ago
Pulled out the 'boss'? the 'Captain'? The 'hog'?. Come on, are you 16? Horrible story.

As I was reading, your clever use of the many ways to describe the Dad's cock was going to be my praise for such imaginative descriptions. The only minor issue I noticed was your use of the lower case i in several places — a very unobtrusive oversight and not a big issue IMO. Very well written and fun to read.

 

[Bangerb]

I only have one major concern -> Delete this comment because it is ridiculous;

Anonymous 6 days ago
Pulled out the 'boss'? the 'Captain'? The 'hog'?. Come on, are you 16? Horrible story.

As I was reading, your clever use of the many ways to describe the Dad's cock was going to be my praise for such imaginative descriptions. The only minor issue I noticed was your use of the lower case i in several places — a very unobtrusive oversight and not a big issue IMO. Very well written and fun to read.

Thank you so much for the compliment. I like to have a little bit of comedy in the stories I read so I thought I would try for that in my first written story. I just thought it would get a bit monotonous seeing:

"and I pulled my cock out...."

"I got my cock out and...."

"I slid my cock out and then....."

There are only so many ways to say you pulled your cock out.
I have since found that it is a little difficult to insert a lot of humor into a story that contains so many exotic scenes so I try to sneak it in when I can.

Again thank you.

 

[IsabellaEmily]

Just seeing this thread today, but I will definitely give a read through your stories. Always on the lookout for new erotica to read!

 

[LucieLou007]

I just published my first story and have had a few comments. I would like a little more feedback if I can get it. I welcome bad along with good as I believe it will help me to produce better future stories for the readers.
This is the first chapter in the story, I do not know how many total chapters there will be but right now I have three more already written and ready to publish. I wanted to wait a bit before publishing more to see how the first chapter is received.
Thank you in advance.

Author name: Bangerb
Categories: Incest/Taboo
Story link:
https://literotica.com/s/watching-dena-watch-me-ch-01

I have read all chapters loved them and left a message along with a very high rating

 

[Bangerb]

Thank you LucieLou007! That is very kind of you. I read your stories as well and enjoyed them alot and gave you lots of ️

 

[AimEnigmaClick]

I promise to get to this! I'll give you my opinion as soon as I read it!

 

[Bangerb]

I promise to get to this! I'll give you my opinion as soon as I read it!

Thank you! There are now 6 chapters published and #7 is pending. I hope you enjoy.