New

[Belvino]

Not only am I new to this site, but I am very new to this side of the sex world. Most of the stuff I have done has been rather mild, and I think I prefer it that way, but I am not sure. I never used to like the idea of being tied up, but then it happened and it was hot... a lot of it still scares me and I am just not sure if I will ever go that far. Perhaps it will change, but who knows?

We haven't explored much into the pain scale aside from a few smacks and the rather large plug we used once before that made me sick to my stomach. I don't know what it is about anal play, but sometimes I think I am just too sensitive and have to bail out of the heavy stuff. If you know what I mean...

 

[Stella_Omega]

Never let anyone shame you into going further than you want to. Some people can take a lot, some people not so much-- don't let anyone coerce you into competing.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

As Stella said, don't let anyone push you into competing. This is NOT a competition. Competitions aren't really fun. This is (or should be).

Wander up to our Library and read a few (or few dozen or few hundred) threads, see what interests you, what excites you, what makes you want to run... then start asking questions - or answering them - on topics that float your boat.

Welcome.

 

[Belvino]

Oh, it was not forced at all. I wanted it, but sometimes the feeling gets so intense that it is beyond what I can take. I think I just need to work on increasing my tolerance.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Oh, it was not forced at all. I wanted it, but sometimes the feeling gets so intense that it is beyond what I can take. I think I just need to work on increasing my tolerance.

a laudable ambition

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Oh, it was not forced at all. I wanted it, but sometimes the feeling gets so intense that it is beyond what I can take. I think I just need to work on increasing my tolerance.

There are often things we want but are not yet ready for, or physically/emotionally actually ready to handle. In those cases, it's probably best that we recognize our (current) limitations and work on stretching those boundaries by "increasing [our] tolerance," as you say. Try to push yourself without pushing so hard that you damage something and spoil the future fun that could have been had.

 

[Belvino]

There are often things we want but are not yet ready for, or physically/emotionally actually ready to handle. In those cases, it's probably best that we recognize our (current) limitations and work on stretching those boundaries by "increasing [our] tolerance," as you say. Try to push yourself without pushing so hard that you damage something and spoil the future fun that could have been had.

Of course, you must crawl before you can walk.

 

[Sebastian_Plz]

Yea, sounds like you are doing the 'correct' order of things. Being vocal about your interests and kinks, exploring them, but more importantly, being able to communicate with your partner what is, or is not, working for you. As the other folks have mentioned, you should only do what you are comfortable with and ease yourself into the BDSM world like one enters a warm bath - with deliberate action and a relaxed mindset. Have fun, be safe, but as you have again already heard, make sure you are having fun. Def applaud anyone new to the lifestyle and their desire to push the limits of their comfort zones.