New to all of this...

[MelancholyBaby]

Hi all,

I've never posted about this before so bear with me a bit. Over the last few years I've been feeling more and more attracted to other girls. I think they are so beautiful and I fantasize about what it would be like to have a female best friend who was also a lover. Yet I feel very comfortable with men and want to get married eventually, etc. I guess I am really curious if that makes me bi or bicurious? I don't know...are you supposed to lean toward one sex or the other? Or is it ok to desire a girl sexually but feel that you may never want to be in a serious (other than good/best friend) relationship with someone of her gender? I guess I shouldn't exclude that I could potentially fall in love, after all it hasn't happened yet. I'm pretty confused by all of this. If someone could shed some light on it I would really appreciate it.

Thank you,
mb

 

[none2_none2]

Hi all,

I've never posted about this before so bear with me a bit. Over the last few years I've been feeling more and more attracted to other girls. I think they are so beautiful and I fantasize about what it would be like to have a female best friend who was also a lover. Yet I feel very comfortable with men and want to get married eventually, etc. I guess I am really curious if that makes me bi or bicurious? I don't know...are you supposed to lean toward one sex or the other? Or is it ok to desire a girl sexually but feel that you may never want to be in a serious (other than good/best friend) relationship with someone of her gender? I guess I shouldn't exclude that I could potentially fall in love, after all it hasn't happened yet. I'm pretty confused by all of this. If someone could shed some light on it I would really appreciate it.

Thank you,
mb

I'm going to guess you are a young person. I wouldn't rush to put labels on yourself. There is nothing strange about thinking about both sexes after all each gender is about half the population. So it seems kind of silly that someone would never think about loving someone from 50% of the population. I would just go with whatever you feel inside at the time and just not worry about what it is or is not.

For me I several things went into how I ended up:
Straight side:
On one hand I wanted to sire kids: not lots, but just a few. I also wanted the comfort of normality. Likewise, I found some women attractive, and never thought of straight sex as gross as some people say.
Gay side:
On the other hand I yearned for a man's love. I also found muscles, masculinity, and body hair extremely attractive. Complicating the gay side, I have very little attraction to penises. Furthermore, after many failed relationships on the gay side, I seriously was ready to go str8.

However, as i said I was really wanting to sire kids. So the first thing I did was check my fertility. I found out that my sperm count was VERY low. It would have taken a lot to be able to sire kids. I realized that to marry a woman and put her through all these fertility issues that would have been MINE would be asking a lot. Likewise, my eyes might still look when I saw a guy who was my type. So to have a woman put up with a mate with fertility issues and a mate who might look at hairy guys even if I never strayed, would have required her to be a saint. So I gave it up the effort to go straight.

I will always regret not having sired kids. The only bright sides are:
1) I never put a woman through hell with my stuff; 2) I have a guy I love now who has changed my attitudes as to whether guys can settle down, be monogamous, and be happy, loving, and satisfied.

 

[HotBloodFairy]

Over the last few years I've been feeling more and more attracted to other girls. I think they are so beautiful and I fantasize about what it would be like to have a female best friend who was also a lover. Yet I feel very comfortable with men and want to get married eventually, etc. I guess I am really curious if that makes me bi or bicurious?

You are considered bicurious if you have never acted upon your feelings. You are considered bi if you have been with both sexes.

I don't know...are you supposed to lean toward one sex or the other? Or is it ok to desire a girl sexually but feel that you may never want to be in a serious (other than good/best friend) relationship with someone of her gender?

No you don't have to lean toward one sex or the other. It IS ok to like a girl sexually and not want to get serious. There are many girls out there who feel like this as well.
You are young and you have much time to decide what you really want. The only way to find out what will work for you is to try it. If it's gunna happen, it's gunna happen. If you try it and find out it's not for you, it won't be the end of the world. It's ok to be confused.
Good luck finding your real answer; for the real answer only lies within you.

 

[LoboBoy]

I'm going to guess you are a young person. I wouldn't rush to put labels on yourself. There is nothing strange about thinking about both sexes after all each gender is about half the population. So it seems kind of silly that someone would never think about loving someone from 50% of the population. I would just go with whatever you feel inside at the time and just not worry about what it is or is not.

For me I several things went into how I ended up:
Straight side:
On one hand I wanted to sire kids: not lots, but just a few. I also wanted the comfort of normality. Likewise, I found some women attractive, and never thought of straight sex as gross as some people say.
Gay side:
On the other hand I yearned for a man's love. I also found muscles, masculinity, and body hair extremely attractive. Complicating the gay side, I have very little attraction to penises. Furthermore, after many failed relationships on the gay side, I seriously was ready to go str8.

However, as i said I was really wanting to sire kids. So the first thing I did was check my fertility. I found out that my sperm count was VERY low. It would have taken a lot to be able to sire kids. I realized that to marry a woman and put her through all these fertility issues that would have been MINE would be asking a lot. Likewise, my eyes might still look when I saw a guy who was my type. So to have a woman put up with a mate with fertility issues and a mate who might look at hairy guys even if I never strayed, would have required her to be a saint. So I gave it up the effort to go straight.

I will always regret not having sired kids. The only bright sides are:
1) I never put a woman through hell with my stuff; 2) I have a guy I love now who has changed my attitudes as to whether guys can settle down, be monogamous, and be happy, loving, and satisfied.

I like your posts a lot lol.

We seem to have a similar outlook on what we want from our relationships...something that a lot of other gay guys scoff at.

 

[Anniejustagirl]

Hi all,

I've never posted about this before so bear with me a bit. Over the last few years I've been feeling more and more attracted to other girls. I think they are so beautiful and I fantasize about what it would be like to have a female best friend who was also a lover. Yet I feel very comfortable with men and want to get married eventually, etc. I guess I am really curious if that makes me bi or bicurious? I don't know...are you supposed to lean toward one sex or the other? Or is it ok to desire a girl sexually but feel that you may never want to be in a serious (other than good/best friend) relationship with someone of her gender? I guess I shouldn't exclude that I could potentially fall in love, after all it hasn't happened yet. I'm pretty confused by all of this. If someone could shed some light on it I would really appreciate it.

Thank you,
mb

your curiosity makes you very very..... human.
over the years i've come to learn that sexuality is a very fluid commodity. My only hard and fast rule... never say never. i listen to my head and follow my heart... i hope that you do the same...

explore yourself and your attractions... put it out there and have fun with it... just be yourself and see what connections happen along the way. Every life experience has value... be safe and enjoy your journey!

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

Remember that your purpose in life is your own happiness. That simple truth eliminates so much confusion. Try to pursue it wisely, with a view to lifelong flourishing.

 

[Tymeless]

also thats what a marriage partner is supposed to be a best friend and a lover if they aren't that then its not something u should consider marrying imo it shouldn't matter what sex they are.