New Story: Morocco

[OttoRank]

I know this is shameless... but I'm so happy. My first "baby" got published today. I'd like to invite anybody and everybody to take a peek:

Morocco

my tip of the hat to Lady Cibelle and Techsan for giving me some editorial considerations.

obviously, I wouldn't have shared this if I wasn't interested in comments, feedback, bouquets or brickbats.

 

[OttoRank]

BAD URL Good URL

This is crazy... the URL in the post above won't work. when I copy and past it it's getting screwed up. what gives?

 

[fieryjen]

This is crazy... the URL in the post above won't work. when I copy and past it it's getting screwed up. what gives?

It works fine for me.

 

[OttoRank]

just worked for me... then it didn't... oh well. Thanks for the feedback.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Otto, in your "reply" thread box, there is a button to "insert a link" (it looks kind of like a blue ball with a paperclip at the bottom, should be 6 from the right on the button row up top). If you click that, and type in the name of your story first, and then insert the link, it will show up like this:

Morocco

and FWIW, it's a good story, worth reading... twice...

 

[OttoRank]

You are my goddess!

 

[BlackShanglan]

Congratulations on your first posted story. You've got a wonderful style through it - rich, pleasantly lingering, and very evocative of the place. I'll confess to some qualms about how Hamid is depicted, but that's more a "content" issue; in terms of how it's written, it's quite an impressive first piece. Well done!

Shanglan

 

[Stella_Omega]

NIce! there's a little hint of Hemingway, in the brevity of your sentences. it's a virtue I'd like to see more of.

 

[Aurora Black]

Congratulations, Otto. Lovely work.

 

[OttoRank]

Hamid

Congratulations on your first posted story. You've got a wonderful style through it - rich, pleasantly lingering, and very evocative of the place. I'll confess to some qualms about how Hamid is depicted, but that's more a "content" issue; in terms of how it's written, it's quite an impressive first piece. Well done!

Shanglan

Thank you so much for your considerations... I'd appreciate your nuance on Hamid... I originally had language around him that focused on his "youth" that, as I read the rules of "Lit", could run afoul of "pedo" issues. Did I underplay him, in your opinion?, or... was it a bit of a cliche on his equipment?

 

[dirtylover]

mm

yep, you had me with that one - very evocative, I'd like to see more of your writing and something longer...

 

[BlackShanglan]

Thank you so much for your considerations... I'd appreciate your nuance on Hamid... I originally had language around him that focused on his "youth" that, as I read the rules of "Lit", could run afoul of "pedo" issues. Did I underplay him, in your opinion?, or... was it a bit of a cliche on his equipment?

Let me send this in PM. It really is good work, and I don't want post a list of what are probably obscure personal quirks on my part.

 

[OttoRank]

yep, you had me with that one - very evocative, I'd like to see more of your writing and something longer...

Thanks, kindly... I'm challenged. I entered this place as I've had a few of these little "dirty storyettes" lying in the corners of my respectible desk... and quite frankly... felt they ought to fly someplace...

 

[OttoRank]

NIce! there's a little hint of Hemingway, in the brevity of your sentences. it's a virtue I'd like to see more of.

I'm flattered. Thank you

 

[silverwhisper]

otto: i liked this quite a bit and hope to see more from you in the future. soon, i hope. :>

ed

 

[OttoRank]

otto: i liked this quite a bit and hope to see more from you in the future. soon, i hope. :>
ed

Thanks so much... I've been pleasantly surprised by the warm and critical environment. Both on the board and some PM's I've received have allowed me to consider new and fresh (and much deeper) aspects of this little piece. I haven't felt/thought/engaged in "art" for quite a while and it very refreshing! This Lit place.... for all it's ... well, noise... is quite a community!

 

[silverwhisper]

you know, it's a funny thing: i noted in my comments that i thought i detected a certain indebtedness to anais nin, and now that i've looked at your profile, i understand why. :>

btw: consider adding this to your sig once your second story goes up: http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/memberpage.php?uid=625990&page=submissions

this links directly to a page listing all of your submissions.

ed