New Story - Instruments

[KevinSir]

have posted a new story - BDSM themed ... called 'Instruments'.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=465779


would love some feedback, ratings and comments.. I appreciate your time and comments.

Kevin

 

[PacoFear]

Not bad. But where's the story? It reads to me like a decent character introduction.

 

[KevinSir]

To be honest, Paco, that's kinda what it is... I suppose this is more of a vignette and the next story that I post will have more of Jax, he's really proving to be an interesting character. But thank you for your input as always..

 

[elfin_odalisque]

I agree with Paco's analysis but would go a bit further.

From your other story I liked the emotion, but this is cold, factual and I would have clicked back if it wasn't a Feedback thread. This is just a blow by blow account of a BDSM scene with no hint of emotion or power exchange.

Less of the whips, crosses and so forth and more of the thought processes of control and submission. Those more knowledgeable than me say it is all in the mind.

The question often asked about story writing, and I think Paco alludes to, is why should we care about the characters? These pair are very two dimensional.