New Poem

[KatPurrs]

KatPurrs here with a humble request for feedback on my new non-erotic poem. It's titled
"How Many Layers Have I?" The link is:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=23280

Thanks very much!

 

[PAUL C]

Feeling for you

I can understand and I feel for you.

 

[KatPurrs]

It's OK Paul C

It's just a poem and the poems I write are a mixture of fact and fantasy. And I'll never tell which is which. You are very sweet to post.

BTW, I read your story, "Full Circle" the other night. Wish I had the link right now for whomever reads this, but, anyway, I thought it was GREAT!

Kat~

 

[JUDO]

Nice Start!

KP -

You and I have talked poetry several times now. You latest is a wonderful new direction for you. I really like what it says, how it says it and what it says about you.

Funny thing was, when I got to the closing "title/line," I thought to myself...Where's the rest of it?

Where's the rest of the poem where the poet goes over all her lost loves, all the times she's been fooled by love, taken advantage of, left? Where are the lessons she's learned or thought she learned? Where are all the foolish locales where lust has teased the romantic into believing it was Love?

You know, another 15 stanzas might cover it, along with the appropriate hopeful closing to bookend the marvelous beginning.

I thought your poem was a good...no, great beginning, but I wanted the rest...the layers...the sturm und drang of a life filled with love just out of reach (And yet, that life still hopeful).

Don't get me wrong. I liked your poem, but this is what it aroused in me, reading it.


- Judo

 

[KatPurrs]

It's always a pleasure, Judo

But Jeez, there ain't room enough on this site for me to get into all the places you wished my poem would take you. ALL my lost loves, times I was fooled, taken advantage of,lessons learned,foolish locales?

Ok, I'll tell ya one:
The most foolish locale where lust led me was when I was in high school.....my boyfriend and I fucked in a walk-in closet of a model home in Miami. There! HA! How do you like me now? ; )

It sounds like you are leading me to write a story, but I'm too chicken (or lazy) to attempt a story. Maybe some day. Actually, to be honest, and to get a giggle out of you so you can say, "I told you so!", I did submit a story and it was rejected because it was too short LOL! So I turned it into my poem, "The SheGuy" : )
Keep the critiquing coming Judo. I really do thank you for letting me know your thoughts! I'm glad you liked it despite it's brevity!

Kat~

 

[Guest]

Brought back some "personal" memories

As I "think" I mentioned, I've written several poems, most of which I wrote during times of my teenage years growing up...loves lost etc.

Your poem brought back some memories of that time which was for me at least, a very enjoyable period of my life, even the sad/bad times...

I liked the poem just for that reason alone...but enjoyed the poem because it was also a very enjoyable read too!

To sleep......perchance to dream - William Shakspear

I am.........

 

[JUDO]

Epic!

KP -

Well, it's just that the subject matter you're dealing with is wonderful stuff. Besides, haven't you ever read any Epic poetry?

We have hundreds of short poems here at Lit, but I have yet to see one poet really let it all out.

Browning's 'Evangeline' is hundreds of stanzas long! A magnificent poem. The allegorical use of layers (like rings on a tree) would be a wonderful metaphor to follow with the many loves lost that fill a life.

Who cares about prose? Write the poem!


- Judo

 

[KatPurrs]

Thanks Sandman

I'm glad you found it to be an enjoyable read and thrilled that it stirred up some old memories for you. The thought that my work can do that to anyone is what keeps me going.

And, BTW, I'm still basking in your "Afterglow". ; )

 

[KatPurrs]

You're right Judo

I love your idea about using the rings of a tree to signify each love in a lifetime. But if I did that, I'd become known as the General Sherman!
Maybe that's what I'm afraid of... Didn't they end up cutting that sucker down? ; )

What about you? You should set the precedent and write Lit's first epic poem using whatever metaphor worked for you. The tree-thing or whatever. I think that's an even better idea!

Thanks for everything, as always! Glad you like my subject matter. I can only write what I feel, be it on a personal level or second-handedly from people I know.

Kat~

 

[Natalie Nessus]

 

[KatPurrs]

Thanks Nessus

I'm glad you did too! Don't be a stranger now, will ya...and did you vote, I hope. : )

Oh, and BTW, about that other thread re Dopefish,
do you really think? Has my naivete caught up with me AGAIN!! LOL! If so, at least I wasn't alone! Good ploy if it was! But SO self-deprecating! Is there no limit to what we'll do to get attention here?

 

[RisiaSkye]

Nice read

Just took a look, and I liked it.

I disagree that it needs more development. I think that the futher story would make the basis for an exceptional series, but I think that this stands on its own very well. In fact, it might be a shame to lose the rather haunting lament quality in a longer work. As a separate but connected introduction; that, I can see.

In any case, nice work.

Risia

 

[Natalie Nessus]

 

[KatPurrs]

Nessus......link us when they post

I'd love to see what you dug up! And I doubt you need worry about "quality". There is so much freedom in poetry. The old "poetic license" security blanket, you know. Stories are so much more difficult! I'm struggling with one right now.

I'm beginning to wonder about my work. Both you and Sandman had flashbacks to your youth and the poems you wrote then. Since I've hit my 50s, I find myself saying quite often that I still feel like a teenager. Now it sounds like I'm writing like one. (Not that that's a BAD thing) And am always relieved when I get to the part of the posts that reassure me that it is still "good stuff".

Looking forward to your poems. I have to warn you though, that I don't critique well. It would have to really suck for me to say anything negative. And I don't have the credentials to do the job other than having a love of poetry, that is.

Take care,
Kat~

 

[PAUL C]

Full Circle

Thanks for saying you like my story Kat.

It is in the lesbian sex category. Written from the female POV by a man. There's a novelty value to it at least.

The link:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=7819

I still think this one of your better poems. Very personal.