New Discoveries

[raynchk]

Wow! I recently had a chance meeting with a submissive female and it brought me face to face with my dominant tendencies. I'm 52 and well experienced with sex and relationships, but this came as an awakening. I've read a couple of other posts on here by people asking about, or replying to, the realization they are dominant and what they should do about it.

I'm jazzed, I haven't felt so honest or empowered in a long time. Its as if there was a curtain over some part of my psyche and I wasn't in touch with about 30% of my inner strength, sexuality or zest. I remember discussions with friends in the past, talking about kink and thinking: "wish I had one". Duh... it was there all the time and I chose to not recognize it, chalking some of those weird experiences in my past up to youth or wildness or whatever. I've known the value of self-honesty for a long time, and I'm amazed at how easily we can cover up the more *shadowy* parts of our behavior, probably due to social pressures or guilt. I've also been reading: Thus Spoke Zaruthustra by Nietzsche and I think that has had an effect, too.

The relationship with the sub I met that started this thing is petering out after a couple of weeks. Physically she's not attractive enough for me, and I don't feel like putting forth the effort to train her out of behaviors I don't like. I'm looking for other submissive girls on collarme.com and bondage.com. I'm finding collar me has some flaky people there, but it may be possible to find somebody interesting and also there are a few activities down here in Florida that should introduce me to more people. I'm rambling... so...

any suggestions, advice or constructive criticism?
thanks!

 

[catalina_francisco]

Welcome to the world of D/s. As to advice, I might suggest that basing relationships on looks/attractiveness is not a great way to go and for the most part people involved in this lifestyle have attractiveness as far as 'good looking or not' toward the bottom of their list of needs/wants. Granted chemistry has to be there, but that is nothing to do with looks. As to training, it is what you make it. You are not going to find someone who is perfect, nor are you going to ever train someone to perfection...everyone and every relationship is different, hence the need to train or at least set rules or guidelines as to what you require and expect, and working forward from there is a good way to go. Of course, it is also possible that pyl's don't necessarily find a PYL who is interested in them as attractive or suitable either...like most relationships, it is all about finding someone who clicks with you and you with them and realising that sub or Dom/me, we are all human. Have fun on your journey.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1372/535079392_f8b8c0b2d0_t.jpg Catalina

 

[Chicklet]

Well, honestly, I put a lot of stock into my personal opinions about how a person looks... but I'm wise enough not to use it as a reason relationships don't work out

*be open minded
*be willing to learn
*be willing to wade through a lot of 'flaky' people to find the right person
*be patient

 

[wouldloveto]

*be open minded
*be willing to learn
*be willing to wade through a lot of 'flaky' people to find the right person
*be patient

Great advice!

We should all take our own advice at times.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Wow! I recently had a chance meeting with a submissive female and it brought me face to face with my dominant tendencies. I'm 52 and well experienced with sex and relationships, but this came as an awakening. I've read a couple of other posts on here by people asking about, or replying to, the realization they are dominant and what they should do about it.

I'm jazzed, I haven't felt so honest or empowered in a long time. Its as if there was a curtain over some part of my psyche and I wasn't in touch with about 30% of my inner strength, sexuality or zest. I remember discussions with friends in the past, talking about kink and thinking: "wish I had one". Duh... it was there all the time and I chose to not recognize it, chalking some of those weird experiences in my past up to youth or wildness or whatever. I've known the value of self-honesty for a long time, and I'm amazed at how easily we can cover up the more *shadowy* parts of our behavior, probably due to social pressures or guilt. I've also been reading: Thus Spoke Zaruthustra by Nietzsche and I think that has had an effect, too.

The relationship with the sub I met that started this thing is petering out after a couple of weeks. Physically she's not attractive enough for me, and I don't feel like putting forth the effort to train her out of behaviors I don't like. I'm looking for other submissive girls on collarme.com and bondage.com. I'm finding collar me has some flaky people there, but it may be possible to find somebody interesting and also there are a few activities down here in Florida that should introduce me to more people. I'm rambling... so...

any suggestions, advice or constructive criticism?
thanks!

Actually collarme and bondage. com reflects the internet experience across the board. There are fakes everywhere.

I am sure many of the male dominants will give you good advice. But the two most important bits of advice I would give you is to read up on the subject, and find out where you fit in the spectrum of dominance. Then I would find a BDSM group and go to a couple of munches so that you can meet like minded individuals.

As for the attractivveness or lack there of of likely submissives, until you know what you want, and how to get it, I would just take the time to increase your own knowledge and skills.

Good luck to you,

Eb