New Beginnings (closed)

[cnuveau]

Mike stared out across the sea of faces realizing he'd been droning on and on for a while.

"Any questions?" he asked trying to steer his lecture to more of an interactive session. During his normal classes he'd typically be steeling himself for a barrage of overly reductive queries from his students but with this class he found himself enjoying the depth of the discussions they had.

When the administration had approached him about taking on a night class he thought it was some kind of punishment. As one of the newer sociology professors at the university there was little else he could do but agree to take it on. What he hadn't expected, but probably should have, was the range of experiences and insights the broader demographics of the night course brought with it. During the day he was dealing with mostly the younger full time students but in the evenings it was a mix of his normal students and older ones who were working on completing their degrees later in life. The range of experiences made for far more nuanced discussions than he was used to.

"Ok then, final exams are on Thursday so make sure you go over all your notes and good luck."

As the class filtered out of the room he sat at his desk organizing his papers and loading them into his satchel. One of the other benefits of the night course was that it meant he spent less time in his apartment by himself. Having just moved into the quiet college town less than a year prior his social life was still a shell of what it was before the divorce. Most of the people he'd met thus far were either students or faculty that had their own lives and he just hadn't met anyone he'd connected with yet.

As he stepped out of the sociology building into the warm night air he vowed to himself that he'd make an effort over the summer to get out there again. He wasn't quite sure what that entailed at the moment but he knew he wasn't going to let things go on like this much longer.

 

[36b7]

I’m glad the course is nearly over. It’s been hard work getting my mind back into gear after so much time and without belittling the role and joys of motherhood, it does tend to fry one’s mind. At least it did for me.
So to be free of the pulls and demands of parenting and domesticity has been very refreshing and I’ve enjoyed the mix of students, mostly full-time younger students but also a good and interesting mix of older students like myself and at thirty eight it was fun to hang out, drink a few beers and enjoy the chatter and also some more serious conversations about the course work, life in general and what we were doing after the course closed.

Mike, our tutor, was good, always ready to answer questions and he had the knack of turning our questions back to us and then facilitating our thoughts which led to a much deeper understanding of the point we were querying.

So here we are, just two days away from our finals and a return to normality which for me will mean becoming a full-time wife and mother again and all that entails and although it will be a wrench leaving the college and the friends I’ve made, I’m looking forward to being home again.
I collected my notebooks, laptop and bits, stuffing them into my backpack. One last look around the lecture hall and that was it.
Outside the evening was warm with the scent of jasmine in the air. People were milling about, talking and I caught sight of Mike our tutor.

“Mike.” I called out to catch his attention.

“Mike, Hi, I’m Amy, I sat in the back row. I just wanted to thank you for all the work you’ve put into us and hope that you’re not too disappointed when the results are out. There’s a few of us going for an end of course drink. Will you join us?”

 

[cnuveau]

I turned when I heard my name called half expecting that they were calling out for another Mike. I was pleasantly surprised to find she was actually calling for me though.

"Hi, Amy! You're very welcome. I'm sure you'll do fine, you've done pretty well so far." I replied.

I always try to make a habit of learning everyone's names but with larger class sizes it's not always easy. I did know her name however. Though she always sat in the back she seemed to share valuable insights and she was around my age. I'd also noticed the wedding ring. It was probably a little problematic that I looked since I don't try to make a habit of dating students but she was attractive. Just habit I guess.

When she asked about joining them for drinks the image of me sitting around with a bunch of college age kids flashed through my mind. I was about to decline but then figured she was probably getting drinks with some of the older students. Though there were pretty solid ground rules about fraternizing with the full time students this seemed to be a grey area that might actually be ok. Besides, it seemed far better than staring at the empty walls of my apartment for the rest of the night.

"Sure, sounds good. As long as you aren't trying to pump me for exam answers." I replied with a laugh. "Is it far? I walked to campus today."

 

[36b7]

“No, only about ten minutes and don’t worry, it’s the kind of place you can hold a conversation without shouting and you’ll know most of the words to the songs they play.” I said with a laugh.
A few of the other mature students were walking in the same direction and one made a drinking motion with her hand and I nodded in reply and indicated Mike beside me and got a thumbs up in back.

Although the overall class was a pretty good mix of men and women it was noticeable that there was a predominance of women among the older students, mostly around my age, and I assumed like me they too were taking a break from parenting and regular family life.

“So tell me Mike, what will you be doing during the recess, any travel plans or hobbies and what about family? Do you have kids?”

I realised I was being a bit intrusive but the relationship between student and teacher bars any of the social chit-chat that we take for normal so being out of class made it easier.
”I guess it can be a bit lonely out there in front of the class and not be able to interact in any way.”

We soon covered the distance and walked into a warm buzz in the bar and handed one of the other students a $50.

”Don’t worry, it’s for the drinks kitty, that way no one gets stuck with the bar bill and since I invited you, I’ve put in for you as well ok?”

 

[cnuveau]

As we started to walk the idea of getting out for a couple beers and actually socializing was becoming more and more appealing. I'd met up with some of the other faculty for drinks when I'd first started but it didn't turn into anything regular. I suspected it was more of a welcome gesture than anything else.

“So tell me Mike, what will you be doing during the recess, any travel plans or hobbies and what about family? Do you have kids?”
"I'm not quite sure what I plan to do to be honest." I said after considering the first part of her question. "It's my first summer here and I'm recently divorced. We never had kids. I wasn't planning on any traveling but I had been thinking about trying to find a racket club or something. I used to enjoy playing tennis and thought I'd try to join somewhere where I might find a game from time to time. I haven't really gotten out much since i got here so I think my main goal for the summer is to get back to living."

It felt like I might have been over sharing but there didn't seem to be much reason not to.

”I guess it can be a bit lonely out there in front of the class and not be able to interact in any way.”

"Yeah, teaching doesn't really present a lot of opportunities for social connections. You're kind of forced to maintain some distance with students for the obvious reasons. I have to say though, it was refreshing to have some more mature students in my class this time."

It felt like I'd been talking for the entire walk to the bar.

"Thank you, you didn't need to pay." I said as Amy put in money to cover my drinks too. "So tell me, what has you back in school? Finishing your degree for a promotion or a new job?"

 

[36b7]

It was as if Mike had shed his mortar board and gown and revealed the person behind the fancy dress.
Of course he didn't wear a gown while tutoring, those formalities are now reserved to graduation ceremonies and the like but I understood the constraints he was under while in the formal role as our tutor.

I was abut to say "I'm sorry to hear about your divorce" but I doubted that Mike would want to hear a platitude like that. Instead I tried to empathise.
"I guess divorce is very disruptive, pretty much all domestic life tossed into the air and friends choosing sides. My husband and I were close to that a while ago - that's one of the reasons I signed up for the course, a little insurance by way of a new qualification and the chance to be out of each other's hair for a while and also to give my husband some space to think things through, to decide what's important for him. For me the tie has always been my children. It's never seemed right to me for couples to embark on parenthood and then not to complete the course but around half of all marriages don't work out so there's plenty of children living with that trauma. I didn't what to put that burden on mine."

I realised that I'd been dominating the conversation between us.
"I'm sorry, I seem to have dumped on you. You have enough on your mind at the moment worrying if you'll get the results you deserve from us students."

I took a long drink from my glass.
"Although I haven't played for a while, there's a couple of great racket clubs in town. Perhaps we should get a game together sometime?"

 

[cnuveau]

"Yeah, kids definitely complicate things." I said after listening to Amy talk about her own marriage. Her situation wasn't at all uncommon and it made perfect sense why she'd be back in school with that going on.

"If we had kids I think we both would have stuck it out but she was focused on her career so we'd put it off. By the time she was in a place where her career would afford her to latitude we weren't in a place where we wanted to try. At least we didn't have a child thinking that would fix things I guess." I said before deciding that I should probably put an end to the marriage conversation for the night before we both found ourselves in a corner crying over our beers.

"I'm not worried about you all, you'll do fine." I said as I placed my hand on her thigh and giving her a reassuring pat. Had I actually put any thought into it I probably wouldn't have done it but it was just a natural gesture in such a casual setting.

"I'd really like that. I haven't played in a while and even when I did I wasn't particularly good at it. It's a fun way to get out and be social though. Though I guess everyone's moving to pickle ball these days. Never tried that." I was sure she meant the offer in an innocent way but a part of me couldn't help but let my mind wander about it becoming less innocent. She was, after all, extremely attractive. I pushed the thoughts from my mind before I let myself get too carried away with them.

"So what about you? What do you enjoy doing when you have time to yourself." I asked still trying to steer my thoughts back on course.

 

[36b7]

Mike’s pat on my thigh surprised me but I took it as a reassuring pat rather than any kind of sexual advance, not that I’m a prude who’s easily offended and if it had been at all intrusive or unwelcome, I’d have had no trouble letting him know in no uncertain terms.
He’s an attractive man, both physically and intellectually and it’s the latter that I’ve enjoyed during my time on the course. There would be little point in being an Adonis without being able to string a few sentences together or to make a reasoned argument.

I liked his mention of pickle ball. A friend of mine had taken it up as a less demanding form of exercise although she is a few years older than me.

“Time to myself? Ha.” I laughed. “That’s a joke. At one stage with the kids, I was thinking of getting a second washing machine installed.”
I smiled at him and returned his pat on my thigh with one on his.
“Seriously though, I enjoy gardening. It can be a zen like occupation, attending to the details of the plants, and I like to keep the edges of the lawn neatly trimmed. Crazy huh? It’s not that I’m obsessive but it’s a good antidote to the mayhem of the kid’s bedrooms and a husband who thinks ‘tidy’ is dropping his clothes in neat piles. But in general, I’m very happy-go-lucky, a born optimist and adventurer … at least I used to be.”

I took another drink, looking at Mike over the rim of my glass, trying to gauge his reaction.

 

[cnuveau]

I really don't know why it is but any time I find myself remotely attracted to someone I manage to start finding innuendo in everything they say. "Stop it!" I chided myself after she mentioned her neatly trimmed lawn.

It was impossible to miss Amy's dissatisfaction as she spoke and I really felt for her.

"Yeah, I can see how gardening can be a nice break from an all consuming home life. In chaos we tend to seek out something we can feel like we have some control over."
"It's hard when you lose your sense of self and put everyone else's needs in front of your own. Before you know it you look in the mirror and can't even recognize the person you used to be in the reflection." I stopped myself there realizing I was on the cusp of launching into another sociological lecture. Losing my sense of self was something I battled with before my divorce though so it was something that hit close to home for me.

"The good news is that all it takes is deciding you want things to change to make it happen. I'm not talking about blowing up your life and walking away mind you. There are always things to be optimistic about and adventure can be found everywhere. Sometimes you just have to reach out and grab it." I stopped again realizing my efforts to curtail the lecture might have failed.

"Sorry, I have a tendency to do blather on." I said with a shrug before taking another long sip of my beer.

 

[36b7]

Mike’s a good listener. I’ve revealed quite a lot about myself and have to smile. After the semester he can’t help but react in sociological terms and I guess that it takes a while to disengage but at least he seems interested in how I am emotionally and what he says makes me think about my life, my family, my husband. I cast my mind back to when we were so close to splitting up and wonder if we’ve really repaired anything or just papered over the cracks.

Yes, we’re ok together, we’re not rowing any more but neither are we engaging with each other, just kind of living in the same house. We eat together as a family but that’s becoming less frequent as the kids spend more and more time with their friends. And there’s other little clues. I close the bathroom door now while I’m showering or taking a bath. In fact, thinking about it, I can’t remember the last time we used the bathroom together, not even for cleaning teeth before bed.
The truth is the intimacy has gone and despite being in the bar in the company of the friends I’ve made and with Mike, I can feel my eyes beginning to fill with tears.
I grab a tissue from my purse, pressing it to my eyes and I force a smile.

“Sorry, just some dust I think.” But I don’t think Mike is taken in.

“That’s better.” I say as brightly as I can, discarding the tissue. “Shall we have another drink. I think I could manage something stronger this time, perhaps a Jack and coke.”

I watch Mike as her orders at the bar and try to remember what it feels like to be held, to be wanted.

 

[cnuveau]

The timing to freshen up our drinks couldn't have come at a better time. I could see her welling up a little and it was obvious that things had gotten a little deep for a night out to unwind. As I leaned against the bar waiting for our drinks I could see her watching me through the mirror behind the bar. She really was stunning.

As the bartender returned I decided it might lighten the mood to steer things back to a celebration of the end of the semester so I ordered a round of lemon drops for the group. I'd thought about tequila but I didn't think we wanted to go that hard this evening. As he poured them I returned to the table with our two drinks.

"Hold on that one for just a minute." I said with a coy grin before returning to the bar.

Having paid for the shots I returned and pushed one to each of them.

"To the end of the semester!" I said lifting mine and throwing it back in one swallow.

"And to an easy exam!" one of the others shot back from across the table.

We sat quietly for a few moments while the ladies on the other side of the table carried the conversation for a while.

 

[36b7]

The lemon drop hit the spot and gave me an excuse to screw my eyes shut as the sour lemon hit my saliva glands.
“Oh my gosh, that is so sour,” I said as I swallowed the drink and the ensuing rush of saliva.”

I laughed and then felt I needed to say something to Mike.

“I’m sorry about just now, coming over all teary. It’s just that at the moment, I’m not sure where my life is going and I guess the course gave me some distance on what’s going on at home or rather, what’s not going on at home. Apart from my kids, my marriage is somewhat in the doldrums, just drifting, I know not where.” I said with an ironic smile.
“Of course, I don’t know what prompted your divorce and you don’t have to tell me but that forced the change on you didn’t it whereas for me, if I decide to make things happen, to live a different life that’s more centred on me, well that feels selfish and it would upset so many people, my children for starters and then there’s my parents, my sister and my husband's parents too.”

The Jack and coke arrived and I took a slug.

“Maybe I need to develop a parallel life. It’s easier for men, they get out of the house every day into a different life at work, different demands, different acquaintances, different friends, even different relationships but they can be compartmentalised, distant and separate from their lives at home, cinq a sept as the French say, and I had that until we had children and then my priorities were up-ended and instead of me I became mom.”

Without thinking I finish my drink in one mouthful and catch the barman’s eye as I do.
“Let’s have another shall we? I can always get an Uber home.”

 

[cnuveau]

While we were ordering another round the rest of the crew tapped out for the evening.

“See you all Thursday.” I said as they headed for the door.

“Don’t worry about it at all.” I said patting her thigh again only this time letting my hand come to rest there. “I wasn’t at all advocating for you to take my path. Finding things for yourself in parallel is more that I was saying. Maybe just getting out for a game of tennis with me would be a start.” I gave her an encouraging smile before continuing.

“With my divorce there wasn’t any real collateral damage. We both had our careers and nobody depending on us so it was just a clean split. Had we not it probably wouldn’t have been long before one or both of us strayed outside the marriage for the connection we were missing.”

“Do you have any suspicions it’s come to that point with your husband?” I asked knowing that would present a whole different set of challenges for her.

 

[36b7]

Mike’s question referring to my husband made me think. How would I feel if I discovered that he had strayed? It was something I’d never considered before and perhaps that would explain the loss of intimacy between us.

“I don’t know Mike. Until you posed the question just now it had never entered my mind.”
I paused, letting my thoughts settle. Would I be outraged or angry, perhaps feel betrayed or slighted, but the more I thought about it the more I felt indifferent to the idea.
I played with my glass on the bar, a displacement activity, and smiled to myself before replying.

“How would I feel? If he has strayed then that would give me carte blanche to pursue my own interests outside the marriage, whether platonic or otherwise and the more I think about it, the less I care. It would mean I don’t have to feel wretched about the state of our marriage and we could continue as we are, to all intents and purposes a stable family providing a secure, loving home for our children while we both pursue our own interests to our own satisfaction.”
I didn’t look at Mike while I replied, not trusting myself to not show any emotion but eventually I looked at him.

“You know you’ve just done it again, reflecting my thoughts back to me so I think more clearly.”

His hand was still on my thigh, more of a comfort gesture than anything else but it felt good, good in the way that it’s nice to be touched in an intimate but not sexual way and I covered his hand with mine.

“No, the more I think about it the less I’d care if he had. Isn’t that sad.”
I signalled the barman for refills.

“What do you say we have dinner together … unless you already have something else arranged?”

 

[cnuveau]

As Amy clasped my hand in hers my heart began to race a little. It'd been a while since I'd felt a woman's hand on mine and it was nice. I didn't read a lot into it though. She was clearly coming to grips with some difficult realizations right now and was likely just finding comfort in our touch.

It definitely wasn't a great sign how indifferent she was to the prospect of her husband straying but I didn't feel like that was an observation she needed me to share at the moment. She clearly came to that realization all on her own. It's when the fighting stops that you know things have gone beyond the point of no return.

Until she'd mentioned it I'd forgotten all about dinner. Getting something to eat was clearly a good idea though judging by the way the drinks were starting to hit me.

"I'd love that." I said as I spread my fingers slightly allowing her fingers to interlace with mine. "You have anywhere in mind? My treat."

 

[36b7]

“No I don’t mind, you decide, surprise me.”

I didn’t want to be faced with making a decision about where we ate, I’d already made one momentous decision tonight.
I’d discovered that I was indifferent to whether my husband was straying or not. Did it really matter if he was having an affair? My only concern was whether it would lead to the break-up of our marriage, not for my sake because I’d already decided that I would seek physical comfort outside my marriage, so not for my sake but for the sake of my children and their perception that they were part of a stable, loving family.

But of course it wasn’t as simple as that. What if my husband wasn’t straying outside our marriage and he discovered that I was?
What then?
Would he seek an immediate divorce or would he agree to marriage counselling so that we could reconcile our differences and needs? But that would inevitably mean me having to agree to stop all extra-marital relationships and that path would surely be a circuitous route to exactly where we were now.
Or perhaps we could go down the route of consensual non-monogamy, where we would remain partners in a happy relationship as friends with the mutual interest and comforts of our family but satisfying our sexual needs elsewhere.
I just didn’t know. There were so many unknowns and in any case, who could I talk to, who could help me clarify my thoughts, and if we were to go down the route of consensual non-monogamy, how could I broach the subject to my husband without eliciting a blank ‘No’.

I was aware that Mike was watching me, a concerned look on his face. Of all the people I knew he was probably the best to help me think this through but was that appropriate? Wouldn’t that breach the tutor/student protocol?
My hand was still resting on his on my thigh and I lifted our hands so that they were at face height.

“Sorry, I was miles away, lost in thoughts. Shall we go?”

 

[cnuveau]

I could tell she had gone somewhere else and she was deep in thought. Given the conversation tonight I could easily guess where.

When she lifted our hands my drink addled mind sent me leaning in to kiss the back of her hand. At the time it felt like a natural thing to do and it I had easily convinced myself she was inviting it. I stopped just short though realizing that was the last thing she needed right now. I tried to play it off the best I could but it had to have been pretty obvious.

“Yes, let’s.” I said awkwardly as we settle up the tab.

As we left the bar our hands found their way to each others again. It wasn’t really clear which of us initiated it. Possibly both at the same time.

I didn’t really have a great idea of where to go so I just led her down the street until we came upon a little cafe I’d been to once before. I remembered it having a small patio in the back with tables and it was a nice night so we went in and found a table in the out back. At this hour we were the only party seated on the patio and a part of me was glad we were somewhat alone.

 

[36b7]

We left the bar and whether by design or accident, we held hands. For me it was comforting, knowing I had someone I could confide in, someone who would help me come to terms with my decision that I would go outside my marriage for sexual release and pleasure.
For Mike though, I had the strong impression that our hand-holding might for him be a signal of future intimacy and although I found him attractive, for the moment I had no sexual feelings towards him.
The evening so far had been too serious for that.

Sexual attraction, flirting and making out are the kinds of behaviour that Eric Berne would describe as being in child mode whereas Mike had been in nurturing parent mode as he facilitated my thoughts.
Of course, alcohol can often ease inhibitions and I’d had quite a lot to drink already and I didn’t suppose another glass of wine would hurt but to change our interactions we, or at least me, would have to shake off the seriousness and start having fun.

I looked at the menu but discovered that I had no appetite. I wanted to have fun, not eat.

“Mike, would you mind terribly if we skipped the meal and went dancing instead? Is there somewhere we can let out hair down?”

 

[cnuveau]

“Sure, no problem at all.” I said folding my menu and setting it back down on the table.

I thought for a minute about what we’d passed on the way and remembered a place that had dance music spilling out onto the street from inside.

“Think there is a place just down the street.”

As we got up the waiter appeared from inside. “Think we changed out mind. Sorry!” I told him as we passed by.

We walked back down the street and into the club we’d passed. On a Tuesday night there were only a handful of people in there but at least a few of them were on the dance floor. I took Amy’s hand and led her out onto the floor as the DJ transitioned from modern hip hop to a medley of 70s disco.

I laughed a bit to myself at the timing of the music change. Regardless, I was willing to dance to whatever he was playing so if that happened to be disco at the moment, so be it.

 

[36b7]

I'm feeling quite light-headed, mostly from the alcohol but also from the feeling of freedom now that I no longer feel tied by my marital vows of fidelity. The more I think about it the more it seems to be just a social construct to oppress women.
I can see how it arose with men wanting to know that their wives were bearing the children they’d fathered but the way it morphed into ownership of women aided and abetted by a male dominated church now seems entirely bizarre.

Mike takes me into a small club. The music is disco and that’s fine, it’s easy to dance to and I get on the floor and start to move, my teen years flooding back to me and I’m feeling good, mission accomplished.
Mike’s a pretty good mover and we dance well together and soon, the DJ plays a slower number and I pull Mike to me and kiss him, my mouth open to receive his tongue and my tongue responding.

As I press against him I can feel his hardness and it excites me and I grind myself against him.

“Better than eating huh or perhaps we'll be eating later?" I say with another grind.

 

[cnuveau]

As we started to dance I felt I could almost see the moment Amy got out of her own head and her body took over. She moved with a sultry confidence that was a stark contrast from just moments earlier. It was as if she'd been freed from the burden's she'd been carrying earlier.

As the music slowed and she pulled me in and kissed me I felt as if my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I could feel myself stiffening as her body pressed against mine and it was clear as she continued to grind against me that it hadn't gone unnoticed.

“Better than eating huh or perhaps we'll be eating later?" she said as she continued to grind against me.

"Definitely!" I said as my hands slid down her back to her hips and pulled her tighter to me. "I don't live far from here if the hunger get too bad."

I know I should have cared that she was married but at the moment it was the furthest thing from my mind.

 

[36b7]

I’m feeling reckless, I want to do something I know deep down that I shouldn’t do but if I don’t I’ll scream with despair at being trapped in this ritual of married life and if I don’t do it tonight I never will.
But that deep down feeling is social conditioning, what people used to call brainwashing but this is far, far more insidious. From the moment female children are born they’re conditioned to conform to the social norm of how a woman should behave and at last I’ve broken the chains and I’m free to be me.

"I don't live far from here if the hunger gets too bad."

Mike pulls me to him and I can feel his erection pressing against me as I kiss him again, wildly, wetly, my tongue deep in his mouth and I need him now, want to be fucked.
“I’m hungry now, I want you to fuck me.”

This is not the me I know, the me I’m familiar with, it’s a new me, the me I’ve become tonight and perhaps unwittingly Mike has helped me become the new me.
We leave the bar walking briskly, almost running, Mike almost certainly to a desire that’s grown during the semester and me to a new beginning and I can’t wait to start.

 

[cnuveau]

“I’m hungry now, I want you to fuck me.”

I was stunned for a minute when she said it. It certainly seemed like things were heading that way one w hit the dance floor but I hadn’t anticipated just how quickly things would escalate.

Leaving the club seemed like a blur and we covered the ground between there and my apartment quickly. My mind was awash with anticipation as the elevator doors closed and we started to ascend. I turned to her, backing her against the side of the elevator to kiss her again as my hands roamed her body. When the elevator gave a loud ding and the doors slid open I led her out and down the hall to my apartment.

As I turned the key in the door I tried to recall the condition I’d left it in earlier in the day. Probably not as picked up as I’d like it but I suspected she wasn’t going to be giving it a white glove test.

The door closed behind us and I led her to the bedroom. Breathlessly we kissed as my hands slipped beneath her top then lifted it over her head as she raised her arms allowing it to pass. My lips worked down to her neck then her breasts.

 

[36b7]

I think I’ve probably shocked Mike with my language but the way I’m feeling there’s no point in using normal language.
If I don’t go through with this tonight I possibly never will and I’ll hate myself for my timidity.
I have this one chance and I’m going to take it; Mike is my willing accomplice.

In the elevator Mike pushed me against the wall, kissing me, his hands on my body and I wanted him, wanted the way he wanted me, not asking for permission and I knew I wouldn’t resist and when in the bedroom he devoured my breasts with his lips I knew this was what had been missing from my life, the raw sexual desire of a man for my body.
I was his plaything, his piece of rag to be used however he willed.

I tugged at his belt, releasing it and pulling at his 501s, the buttons popping like a crazy drumbeat until I could thrust my hand past the waistband of his shorts, finding his hardness, my hand full of the promise of what was to come as I pulled him to the bed.
I didn’t have time for us to undress, nor did I want to, I just wanted him to pull my panties down and fuck me.

There was no need for any foreplay, that had already happened in my head and I was wet, ready for him to plunder me.

 

[cnuveau]

As she quickly unbuttoned by pants and thrust her hand in wrapping her fingers around my stiffness the urgency of her desire was apparent.

Pulled onto the bed my hands slipped up her toned thighs beneath her skirt and to her hips. Hooking a finger around the delicate fabric of her panties on each hip I tugged them past her hips as she lifted them slightly allowing them to pass.

I could have spent all night exploring every curve of her body but I knew she didn’t have that kind of time. I discarded her panties as I pulled them free from her feet then positioned myself between her legs.

Her chest heaved with each heavy breath as I guided myself in and sunk deep inside her. My long slow thrusts gradually becoming harder as I gathered her wrists above her head pinning them to the mattress.

“Fuck, you feel amazing.” I said breathlessly as the sound of my hips slapping loudly against hers filled the room.