New Author - First Story

[WyoD_S]

I got my first story posted today, feedback would be appreciated. Constructive criticism is welcome, flames will be taken in stride.

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=245588

Fair warning, bi-male content, if that is going to offend you may want to skip this one

Thanks in advance!

 

[jtmalone70]

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[bobocity]

On the other hand ...

I think the previous advice is accurate, but I would like to say that I thought the story was hot.

You've got a lot of great, hot material there, and I thought your descriptions of the narrator's feelings were pretty accurate.

Keep writing.

BBcty

 

[WyoD_S]

jtmalone70,

Thank you for your comments, I know I have a long way to go and this gives me a few concrete things to work on.

I have read your stories, I can only hope to come close to matching your eloquence one day in the future.

bobocity,

Your words of encouragement are good to read, I do plan to keep writing, hopefully my future stories will be even better.

 

[jtmalone70]

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