Nevermind

[Djmac1031]

Forget I asked.

 

[Euphony]

There are all sorts of anecdotal accounts across the various boards if you search for them. Should help with the more "emotional mechanics" of what you're attempting.

When reading over the scenario, I couldn't help but feel the narrative need to seriously address the incredibly foreign scenario. Performing for a new partner even on your "home field" is difficult enough (preference to be a comfortable, familiar space if I am to be the main focus of attention) let alone in front of a extraterrestrial life form (thinking to myself I not only have to meet "female" expectations but be representative of ALL of them or the "right majority", across the spectrum, for "study," possible serious consequence. Yikes.)

 

[Djmac1031]

There are all sorts of anecdotal accounts across the various boards if you search for them. Should help with the more "emotional mechanics" of what you're attempting.

When reading over the scenario, I couldn't help but feel the narrative need to seriously address the incredibly foreign scenario. Performing for a new partner even on your "home field" is difficult enough (preference to be a comfortable, familiar space if I am to be the main focus of attention) let alone in front of a extraterrestrial life form (thinking to myself I not only have to meet "female" expectations but be representative of ALL of them or the "right majority", across the spectrum, for "study," possible serious consequence. Yikes.)

For clarification, the alien being is inside her, not watching from without. It will experience the sensations both physical and mental with her.

I appreciate your thoughts.

 

[Euphony]

For clarification, the alien being is inside her, not watching from without. It will experience the sensations both physical and mental with her.

"Explain" confuses me. By placing the being (or at least its conscience) inside of her, doesn't that negate her inner editor? Whatever she thinks, it knows. Whatever she feels, same.

how a woman would attempt to explain her thoughts and feelings during masturbation to someone with no understanding of it.

Isn't that, like, one of if not your main theme? Don't you (as the author) have to unspool those knot clusters over the narrative?

Emotional mechanics of female orgasm are researchable and, feels like, secondary at this point. The information being "translated" would be similar if the aliens were hell bent on the experience of eating a peach.

You (the author) set the ground rules for the communicational exchange, understanding, concepts, etc. It's similar to if you established a unique terrestrial language and needed to flesh out its commonalities and conflicts with English.

Feeling very cart before the horses.

 

[lovecraft68]

All these "women's perspective" threads of late bother me.
First off, we're all adult men here and its seems like most of us aren't exactly kids. We've been around awhile and we're writers meaning we're more creative than the average guy and think about sex in a lot more detail than most guys being we write about it. We're all old enough to where even if some guys here are single in the moment, they've been in relationships, perhaps married at some point and should know women to some degree.

Although of course we're not going to be able to think/feel exactly as a woman does, we should be able to figure this out well enough to be convincing in a story. There's also the reality that women are not some type of hivemind with a universal consciousness and are all the same. Ask six women this question you're getting various answers so...what? Get as many as you can and pick your fav or....

Is this some twelve year old middle school game to get women to talk about sex? Is there some pathetic thrill in this?

Making it worse is that although the question is asked of women, I am sure given time, the usual suspects will show up to tell women what they think about in the bestest AH mansplaining fashion.

Have the feeling we're not far removed from a good old fashioned "Hey can you post pictures of your boobs? I'm having trouble describing them in a story!"

I hate to sound like some type of grumpy old man, but FFS guys, are you all this oblivious or is it simple frat boy level perversion "Huh uh uh she said cock huh uh uh uh"

 

[Djmac1031]

All these "women's perspective" threads of late bother me.
First off, we're all adult men here and its seems like most of us aren't exactly kids. We've been around awhile and we're writers meaning we're more creative than the average guy and think about sex in a lot more detail than most guys being we write about it. We're all old enough to where even if some guys here are single in the moment, they've been in relationships, perhaps married at some point and should know women to some degree.

Although of course we're not going to be able to think/feel exactly as a woman does, we should be able to figure this out well enough to be convincing in a story. There's also the reality that women are not some type of hivemind with a universal consciousness and are all the same. Ask six women this question you're getting various answers so...what? Get as many as you can and pick your fav or....

Is this some twelve year old middle school game to get women to talk about sex? Is there some pathetic thrill in this?

Making it worse is that although the question is asked of women, I am sure given time, the usual suspects will show up to tell women what they think about in the bestest AH mansplaining fashion.

Have the feeling we're not far removed from a good old fashioned "Hey can you post pictures of your boobs? I'm having trouble describing them in a story!"

I hate to sound like some type of grumpy old man, but FFS guys, are you all this oblivious or is it simple frat boy level perversion "Huh uh uh she said cock huh uh uh uh"

It was a simple request to get a little more perspective on something before writing it.

You can attach whatever other motives you want to it, I can't help that.

Doesn't make you in anyway correct on them.

But thanks for your feedback.

 

[vanmyers86]

If the alien is sharing her mind and body and experiencing her sensations and thoughts for itself, what's left to explain? It feels like you're making this more complicated and talk-y than it needs to be.

 

[Djmac1031]

If the alien is sharing her mind and body and experiencing her sensations and thoughts for itself, what's left to explain? It feels like you're making this more complicated and talk-y than it needs to be.

Possibly. I tend to do that lol.

Appreciate the CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.

 

[Euphony]

I hate to sound like some type of grumpy old man, but FFS guys, are you all this oblivious or is it simple frat boy level perversion

Meh, I saw it as distinct possibly. (hence circling back to all the search opportunities available if the emotional mechanics were a sticking point)

There are instances where folding in emotional complexities into a narrative can be challenging (and I support more attempts being taken) so I don't immediately rule of things that look sketchy.

That said, there's such a thin narrative given and the sex being obviously the theme (so "write my theme" ask-y) had me disinterested in giving more help until effort seemed more matched.

 

[Euphony]

Possibly. I tend to do that lol.

Appreciate the CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.

Maybe dial down the snark, eh?

Yes, Craft doesn't sugar coat his responses but he's very aware of the ins and outs of how the AH works and what goes on.

Plenty of "authors" have abused the privilege here enough that genuine (but borderline looking) asks get lumped in with the voyeurs.

You asked a question creeps often ask. It's up to you to vet yourself through context/communication as to why your version rises above that.

Message wasn't delivered warm and fuzzy but it was the truth. (and that's LC's brand.)

 

[Djmac1031]

Maybe dial down the snark, eh?

Yes, Craft doesn't sugar coat his responses but he's very aware of the ins and outs of how the AH works and what goes on.

Plenty of "authors" have abused the privilege here enough that genuine (but borderline looking) asks get lumped in with the voyeurs.

You asked a question creeps often ask. It's up to you to vet yourself through context/communication as to why your version rises above that.

Message wasn't delivered warm and fuzzy but it was the truth. (and that's LC's brand.)

I asked a question. People can answer, or not.

But I don't appreciate my motives being called into question without reason. It's one thing to say I should just research more on my own. I can respect that.

What I don't respect is baseless accusations of attempting some cheap thrill by posing the question.

If I'd wanted to "creep" on women here I'd be asking them questions in DM.

That said, I'm not here to fight and argue with people.

 

[Euphony]

I asked a question. People can answer, or not.

I'd like the benefit of engagement on my terms, please and thank you.

But I don't appreciate my motives being called into question without reason. It's one thing to say I should just research more on my own. I can respect that.

Isn't people trying to understand other's motives, like, life?

And immunity from that on the internet is an impossible ask generally, here especially.

What I don't respect is baseless accusations of attempting some cheap thrill by posing the question.

LC framed it as a "things I've been seeing lately" situation. Your lack of clarity (and non addressment of actual authorial concerns w/your story and disinterest in searching for all the umpteen threads here that will enlighten your more than whatever current randos are in the AH lent further credence to your interest being live, active conversational engagement over female sexual activities.

If I'd wanted to "creep" on women here I'd be asking them questions in DM.

"I choose what is/isn't questionable and, by my standard *not the community's, fuck that* I did no such thing. In fact, WERE I INTERESTED IN CREEPING this is how I'd do it. But again, not my thing."

That said, I'm not here to fight and argue with people.

Just say I'm here to engage on my terms and if I don't like it, I'm taking my ball and going home.

You'll never get better at football by setting your own rules (or writing here) but hey, we have nothing to teach you anyway.


Taker not a contributor. Whatever will we do without you.

 

[Djmac1031]

I'd like the benefit of engagement on my terms, please and thank you.

And you absolutely have that.

Isn't people trying to understand other's motives, like, life?

And immunity from that on the internet is an impossible ask generally, here especially.

If you want to understand someone's motives, you can question them instead of assuming them.

LC framed it as a "things I've been seeing lately" situation. Your lack of clarity (and non addressment of actual authorial concerns w/your story and disinterest in searching for all the umpteen threads here that will enlighten your more than whatever current randos are in the AH lent further credence to your interest being live, active conversational engagement over female sexual activities.

A simple "you should do more research on your own" would have sufficed.

"I choose what is/isn't questionable and, by my standard *not the community's, fuck that* I did no such thing. In fact, WERE I INTERESTED IN CREEPING this is how I'd do it. But again, not my thing."

Not what I said at all, but okay.

Just say I'm here to engage on my terms and if I don't like it, I'm taking my ball and going home.

You'll never get better at football by setting your own rules (or writing here) but hey, we have nothing to teach you anyway.


Taker not a contributor. Whatever will we do without you.

I'm sorry you feel this way. But that's absolutely not my approach here.

I asked a question because I wanted to learn.

If I asked the wrong question or did it in the wrong manner, so be it. I'll learn from that.

But I've only ever attempted to both learn from and contribute to this community.

There was no malice in my post, or my replies. I feel this is a misunderstanding, nothing more.

 

[ofbuttons]

I don't think there is a gendered trend in the way people think and feel while masturbating. I know that some gender essentialism is taken as gospel in erotica spaces so I won't try to make a case about men and women being fundamentally the same in certain ways, but when it comes to this, it's so intensely individual and particular to that person (sexual preferences, kinks, experiences, how often they masturbate, idiosyncrasies) that I'm not sure there is a truthful representation of female vs male.

For instance, I imagine erotica writers think very different things to someone who relies purely on memory or abstraction, or watches porn, which for me would be a more stark difference between categories than gender.

But, good news: you can focus on just what your character thinks about without worrying too much about gender, and use it as an opportunity to learn what she is about instead of what women are about. But that's just my opinion.

 

[Djmac1031]

I don't think there is a gendered trend in the way people think and feel while masturbating. I know that some gender essentialism is taken as gospel in erotica spaces so I won't try to make a case about men and women being fundamentally the same in certain ways, but when it comes to this, it's so intensely individual and particular to that person (sexual preferences, kinks, experiences, how often they masturbate, idiosyncrasies) that I'm not sure there is a truthful representation of female vs male.

For instance, I imagine erotica writers think very different things to someone who relies purely on memory or abstraction, or watches porn, which for me would be a more stark difference between categories than gender.

But, good news: you can focus on just what your character thinks about without worrying too much about gender, and use it as an opportunity to learn what she is about instead of what women are about. But that's just my opinion.

Thank you. I appreciate your well thought out reply. Definitely good points to consider.

 

[stickygirl]

I've had the benefit of seeing both sides of the coin so may have some insight, though it's not easy to frame.... I'd venture to say that men tend to flick from one image to another, whether in their minds eye or on screen. A woman of course responds to visual stim too, but we're more 'inside ourselves' and don't need the constant tap-tap-tap that men do.
Think of it like the difference between an old movie projector flashing up images and a huge panoramic print. In the print there are plenty of sexy objects to gaze at, but the guys prefer the instant hit of flickering ones. Sorry - best I can do and it's only my take on it and no one's the same.

I'm not sure how creepy anyone would think that to be

 

[Djmac1031]

I've had the benefit of seeing both sides of the coin so may have some insight, though it's not easy to frame.... I'd venture to say that men tend to flick from one image to another, whether in their minds eye or on screen. A woman of course responds to visual stim too, but we're more 'inside ourselves' and don't need the constant tap-tap-tap that men do.
Think of it like the difference between an old movie projector flashing up images and a huge panoramic print. In the print there are plenty of sexy objects to gaze at, but the guys prefer the instant hit of flickering ones. Sorry - best I can do and it's only my take on it and no one's the same.

I'm not sure how creepy anyone would think that to be

Thanks. I like the visual description of the panoramic VS single images. I may incorporate something along those lines.

Appreciate your comments.

 

[Britva415]

By placing the being (or at least its conscience) inside of her, doesn't that negate her inner editor? Whatever she thinks, it knows. Whatever she feels, same.

If the alien is sharing her mind and body and experiencing her sensations and thoughts for itself, what's left to explain?

Now if only the reader could be that alien, so OP wouldn't have to figure out words.

I thought this was the authors' hangout.

 

[SimonDoom]

I hate to sound like some type of grumpy old man, but FFS guys, are you all this oblivious or is it simple frat boy level perversion "Huh uh uh she said cock huh uh uh uh"

Well, to me, this DOES have a whiff of "old man shouting at clouds."

There's a saying that the only stupid question is the one that isn't asked. What's wrong with asking questions? What harm is there in asking, especially at a place like this? I write stories from women's perspectives, often, and they seem to do pretty well, but that doesn't mean I don't often wonder whether I might do it better, and I don't see the harm in, Oh, asking women what they think.

I see no value whatsoever in posts like yours that discourage people from asking questions. Let people ask what they want, and let people answer as they wish. If you're not interested you don't have to participate in the thread.

 

[Seadog777]

According to my sisters, a woman doesn't necessarily think about another man when masturbating.
They think about situations, scenarios, or even colors, etc, etc.
They do think about other guys, but it's not as much as us guys

Don't shoot the messenger here ladies, just passing on what my three sisters told me.

 

[Omenainen]

Although of course we're not going to be able to think/feel exactly as a woman does, we should be able to figure this out well enough to be convincing in a story. There's also the reality that women are not some type of hivemind with a universal consciousness and are all the same. Ask six women this question you're getting various answers so...what? Get as many as you can and pick your fav or....

Ah, but you see…

As a man, I know what runs through our brains when we masturbate.

He already knows what All Men think because he is one.

 

[stickygirl]

According to my sisters, a woman doesn't necessarily think about another man when masturbating.
They think about situations, scenarios, or even colors, etc, etc.
They do think about other guys, but it's not as much as us guys

Don't shoot the messenger here ladies, just passing on what my three sisters told me.

Even thinking about a nice patchwork quilt can get me hot

 

[Kumquatqueen]

He already knows what All Men think because he is one.

To be fair to OP, who has participated in a number of conversations here without being creepy so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt on this one, popular culture is always referring to boys and men thinking of a particular person, and having a wank over them. It's a cliché. I've written it myself.

I've never heard any of my male partners nor other men object to the concept, beyond 'sometimes it's multiple women, actually'. Or a few fetishists where the object of their desire is more relevant.

Women will IME sometimes do that, but there's that clichéd multitasking thing going on - the surrounding context is as important as the object of desire. So not just thinking of X actor, but them in a certain outfit, in a certain place, inviting you along, and then...

A generalisation, for sure, but to make another generalisation, if you graphed male and female arousal during a wank, against time, you'd probably have a shorter time for men as well as a much shorter time they are thinking much of anything. If women last longer at a lower level, then there's more time for thinking - of all sorts of nice things.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

This thread is so good. Almost every person who posted something here has claimed something that they couldn't have possibly known. I am talking about these claims "All men are the same when masturbating" ; "Not all women are the same when masturbating" ; "Women last longer" ; "Men fixate a specific person" ; "Women think about sounds, colors, nature of the universe, etc..." and any other variations of this. You can't possibly know the things that go through anyone else's head when masturbating, except your own. Maybe, just maybe, you can hope to know what your spouse thinks, if you have that level of sincerity and intimacy, but in my opinion, even that is questionable.
Why? Because our sexual fantasies are often the most intimate things we have. They are ours only and we keep them for ourselves, to avoid being laughed at/mocked/judged, or simply because we don't want to divulge our intimate thoughts. If anyone asked me what I am thinking when masturbating, like a close male friend, my girlfriend, or maybe even some scientific researcher, you think I would tell the truth? A half truth at the most.

Maybe I am doing the same thing like most of you here, maybe I am assuming you all find those thoughts to be very intimate, just because I find them so, but I think my point still stands.
When I said this thread is so good, I wasn't being sarcastic, btw. I really think we are finding out so much about our stereotypes and general assumptions about the opposite and our own sex.

 

[Seadog777]

Even thinking about a nice patchwork quilt can get me hot

Hey, some nice slow lovemaking with candles and music, on a patchwork quilt bedding sounds really hot to me.