ZiggyTheHutt
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2013
- Posts
- 346
Do you ever get the feeling someone doesn't have a job, but still complains all day long about people on welfare?
Is it more hilarious due to the irony, or more sad due to the self-loathing nature of it all?
Hypocrisy, the world is full of it. I can respect a jerkass if they are at the very least clever about taking down other jerkasses. And if not particularly clever, perhaps, insightful. Unique. Interesting. Or humorous. But there is a kind of failure so massive, that it simply could not be contained within FAILBlog. Troll of GB, I summon thee:
This is just the past few days alone. Impressive, no?
The answer, of course, is no.
While generating content at such an astonishing rate could be considered impressive, one must remember what kind of content we're dealing with: Can't be bothered to spell words properly. Can't be bothered to form sentences that make sense, let alone complete or grammatically correct ones. Can't be bothered to cite sources or even link to the news articles that compel him to offer his incredible opinions. Often can't be bothered to type more than a line or two. This is the equivalent of typing "akldfhlahdkljaHCLJKWSLCKJSJKCJKCJKCJA" and submitting it as a new thread, every few hours, if they're even spaced that far apart.
I like efficiency, and to be honest, I'm sure NeverEndingMe must eventually get tired of jabbering to himself, so I propose a project which should take some industrious person just a few moments of their time, which would allow us to bask in NeverEndingMe's incredible insight, without even having to bother him. All you need is someone who can write a simple program designed to emulate NeverEndingMe's account. I will spend exactly 10 seconds describing every thought NeverEndingMe has ever had, in full detail:
"Obama-liberal-Obama-taxes-Obama-welfare-Obama-islam-Obama-israel-Obama-fuck"
Now, insert random words related to news articles. Make sure the program uses all lowercase letters, no punctuation, and does not form actual sentences. Make the program generate threads constantly, and respond to its own threads with total gibberish every few minutes, especially if no one else replies. Make sure each post is brief enough that a human being could type it and post it in under ten seconds, the maximum amount of time NeverEndingMe ever spent generating his spam.
I would wager real money that 90 percent of any random selection of people of any political persuasion couldn't tell the difference between such a program and NeverEndingMe's account.
This will allow NeverEndingMe the freedom to mutter to himself about anything related to Obama, without even needing to be at the keyboard.
The sudden clearing of NeverEndingMe's schedule will create room in NeverEndingMe's day for quiet contemplation. Perhaps, the user behind the account will take a step away from the computer, just a little bit at a time, five minutes here, ten minutes there, and become acquainted with the world around himself.
Perhaps, it will lead to finding interests. Hobbies. Even the possibility of meaningful interaction between himself and something besides the great wide dripping anal faucet known as conservative media outlets.
It could even lead to him discovering nature. Sunlight. Rainfall. He may even observe the rain collecting and forming into lakes and streams and rivers.
Perhaps one day, he will follow one of those rivers, and eventually, find himself under a bridge. There, in the cool shade, standing on the moist and fertile soil, he may meet a fellow troll, in real life. And they can procreate, and have actual, real-life troll babies.
This discovery may even lead to inner peace, and potentially save the entire troll race from self-annihilation due to a complete and utter lack of sexual contact.
I am starting a Kickstarter dedicated to designing the NeverEndingSpammer program. Help us get this poor troll laid. Only you can help us automate this tireless spammer's core personality, to allow him to find a more meaningful one. It may not pass the Turing test, but let's be honest, the genuine article never has.
Please give generously. This is a truly worthy cause, meant to help only the most tortured, pathetic, and desperate of the GB trolls.
Listen to Sarah McLachlan, and do what you know is right, in your heart.
Can you really afford not to help?
Is it more hilarious due to the irony, or more sad due to the self-loathing nature of it all?
Hypocrisy, the world is full of it. I can respect a jerkass if they are at the very least clever about taking down other jerkasses. And if not particularly clever, perhaps, insightful. Unique. Interesting. Or humorous. But there is a kind of failure so massive, that it simply could not be contained within FAILBlog. Troll of GB, I summon thee:
This is just the past few days alone. Impressive, no?
The answer, of course, is no.
While generating content at such an astonishing rate could be considered impressive, one must remember what kind of content we're dealing with: Can't be bothered to spell words properly. Can't be bothered to form sentences that make sense, let alone complete or grammatically correct ones. Can't be bothered to cite sources or even link to the news articles that compel him to offer his incredible opinions. Often can't be bothered to type more than a line or two. This is the equivalent of typing "akldfhlahdkljaHCLJKWSLCKJSJKCJKCJKCJA" and submitting it as a new thread, every few hours, if they're even spaced that far apart.
I like efficiency, and to be honest, I'm sure NeverEndingMe must eventually get tired of jabbering to himself, so I propose a project which should take some industrious person just a few moments of their time, which would allow us to bask in NeverEndingMe's incredible insight, without even having to bother him. All you need is someone who can write a simple program designed to emulate NeverEndingMe's account. I will spend exactly 10 seconds describing every thought NeverEndingMe has ever had, in full detail:
"Obama-liberal-Obama-taxes-Obama-welfare-Obama-islam-Obama-israel-Obama-fuck"
Now, insert random words related to news articles. Make sure the program uses all lowercase letters, no punctuation, and does not form actual sentences. Make the program generate threads constantly, and respond to its own threads with total gibberish every few minutes, especially if no one else replies. Make sure each post is brief enough that a human being could type it and post it in under ten seconds, the maximum amount of time NeverEndingMe ever spent generating his spam.
I would wager real money that 90 percent of any random selection of people of any political persuasion couldn't tell the difference between such a program and NeverEndingMe's account.
This will allow NeverEndingMe the freedom to mutter to himself about anything related to Obama, without even needing to be at the keyboard.
The sudden clearing of NeverEndingMe's schedule will create room in NeverEndingMe's day for quiet contemplation. Perhaps, the user behind the account will take a step away from the computer, just a little bit at a time, five minutes here, ten minutes there, and become acquainted with the world around himself.
Perhaps, it will lead to finding interests. Hobbies. Even the possibility of meaningful interaction between himself and something besides the great wide dripping anal faucet known as conservative media outlets.
It could even lead to him discovering nature. Sunlight. Rainfall. He may even observe the rain collecting and forming into lakes and streams and rivers.
Perhaps one day, he will follow one of those rivers, and eventually, find himself under a bridge. There, in the cool shade, standing on the moist and fertile soil, he may meet a fellow troll, in real life. And they can procreate, and have actual, real-life troll babies.
This discovery may even lead to inner peace, and potentially save the entire troll race from self-annihilation due to a complete and utter lack of sexual contact.
I am starting a Kickstarter dedicated to designing the NeverEndingSpammer program. Help us get this poor troll laid. Only you can help us automate this tireless spammer's core personality, to allow him to find a more meaningful one. It may not pass the Turing test, but let's be honest, the genuine article never has.
Please give generously. This is a truly worthy cause, meant to help only the most tortured, pathetic, and desperate of the GB trolls.
Listen to Sarah McLachlan, and do what you know is right, in your heart.
Can you really afford not to help?
