Damn, this turned into a long one. <Click back now if you're going to feel the need to make a smartass comment on my lack of brevity 
>
Where to begin?
I've been with my gf for about 18 months. She is a really cute 25 year old semi-bi, somewhat ghetto Puerto Rican girl and has a very colorful sexual past, with more partners than she can remember to count (some ghetto boys, some not).
I'm a 29 yr old nerdy white guy and can count all of my past partners on two hands, only one of which involved much BSDM activity (and that one turned out to be a severely abused schizo which made me gun-shy from the whole thing for a while).
How we stayed together this long is beyond me but she's crazy about me and I'm not complaining because I like her a lot too =)
We have a very physical relationship - wrestling, tickling, slap boxing, spanking, punching (mostly her punching me when I make some smartass joke), etc.
She is a leo for those of you that might read into that. She openly comments in detail to me about men and women she finds arousing, in a sort of raw, innocent way I can't really be jealous about. At the same time she says she's in love with me, I'm the only one for her, blah blah blah, which I have a hard time completely believing sometimes (partly due to my own insecurities, partly due to some shady b.s. she pulled when we were first dating), but I want to make her happy because I like seeing her smile and she's usually really good to me.
She has been dropping subtle - and not so subtle - hints about more BSDM-oriented things she wants from me.
She has told me several times she likes being tied with course rope, being forced into submissive roles, being roughed up, being choked, and especially being tied by her neck.
Recently she made a passing comment - almost accidental? - when she saw a relatively innocuous movie scene that make her daydream about receiving a drawn out facial.
So I've done some reading online about the right kind of knots to use, general BSDM info, etc. and I bought a headboard that lends itself well to tying off lengths rope.
But at this point I haven't done much other than bind her hands - and occassionally her neck - and procede to give her head, play with her body, spank her, fuck her, whatever. She seems to like it and will often start giving me head while I am tying (which is great, needless to say) but I feel like I don't really know what I'm doing, at least relative to the entire body of her previous sexual experiences as I imagine them.
Especially when it comes to talking to her while we are having sex. She has this amazing ghetto/nasty side that comes out when she's getting off that I think she toned down right away because I wasn't talking back to her like she was expecting.
She is a lot more experienced - and with a huge variety of people - and it's weird to me to try to take the dominant role over her when she is far more experienced than me, and (I'm sure) has been with far more sexually dominant men before.
I guess my biggest concern is in being able to transition from my how I normally talk to her into the dirtier side without it feeling or seeming artificial. The same thing goes for physical things like anal stuff, bondage, hitting, etc. but to a lesser degree.
It's easy and natural for me to hit her when we are slap boxing or wrestling, but I have a hard time making the transition when we are having sex, which is when she seems to want it the most.
Does anyone have any helpful suggestions? Maybe try wrestling/slapping like we normally do in a playful way, move into restraining her, and let the sexual part of that develop naturally?
On the technical side...
Anyone know of any methods or positions to tie someone by the neck that gives them the feeling they are being restrained, but that don't require an expert to do safely?
Or a good position/restraint setup that can be used to make a girl feel powerless but still give her the freedom of motion to give good head?
Muchas gracias!
-j
>Where to begin?
I've been with my gf for about 18 months. She is a really cute 25 year old semi-bi, somewhat ghetto Puerto Rican girl and has a very colorful sexual past, with more partners than she can remember to count (some ghetto boys, some not).
I'm a 29 yr old nerdy white guy and can count all of my past partners on two hands, only one of which involved much BSDM activity (and that one turned out to be a severely abused schizo which made me gun-shy from the whole thing for a while).
How we stayed together this long is beyond me but she's crazy about me and I'm not complaining because I like her a lot too =)
We have a very physical relationship - wrestling, tickling, slap boxing, spanking, punching (mostly her punching me when I make some smartass joke), etc.
She is a leo for those of you that might read into that. She openly comments in detail to me about men and women she finds arousing, in a sort of raw, innocent way I can't really be jealous about. At the same time she says she's in love with me, I'm the only one for her, blah blah blah, which I have a hard time completely believing sometimes (partly due to my own insecurities, partly due to some shady b.s. she pulled when we were first dating), but I want to make her happy because I like seeing her smile and she's usually really good to me.
She has been dropping subtle - and not so subtle - hints about more BSDM-oriented things she wants from me.
She has told me several times she likes being tied with course rope, being forced into submissive roles, being roughed up, being choked, and especially being tied by her neck.
Recently she made a passing comment - almost accidental? - when she saw a relatively innocuous movie scene that make her daydream about receiving a drawn out facial.
So I've done some reading online about the right kind of knots to use, general BSDM info, etc. and I bought a headboard that lends itself well to tying off lengths rope.
But at this point I haven't done much other than bind her hands - and occassionally her neck - and procede to give her head, play with her body, spank her, fuck her, whatever. She seems to like it and will often start giving me head while I am tying (which is great, needless to say) but I feel like I don't really know what I'm doing, at least relative to the entire body of her previous sexual experiences as I imagine them.
Especially when it comes to talking to her while we are having sex. She has this amazing ghetto/nasty side that comes out when she's getting off that I think she toned down right away because I wasn't talking back to her like she was expecting.
She is a lot more experienced - and with a huge variety of people - and it's weird to me to try to take the dominant role over her when she is far more experienced than me, and (I'm sure) has been with far more sexually dominant men before.
I guess my biggest concern is in being able to transition from my how I normally talk to her into the dirtier side without it feeling or seeming artificial. The same thing goes for physical things like anal stuff, bondage, hitting, etc. but to a lesser degree.
It's easy and natural for me to hit her when we are slap boxing or wrestling, but I have a hard time making the transition when we are having sex, which is when she seems to want it the most.
Does anyone have any helpful suggestions? Maybe try wrestling/slapping like we normally do in a playful way, move into restraining her, and let the sexual part of that develop naturally?
On the technical side...
Anyone know of any methods or positions to tie someone by the neck that gives them the feeling they are being restrained, but that don't require an expert to do safely?
Or a good position/restraint setup that can be used to make a girl feel powerless but still give her the freedom of motion to give good head?
Muchas gracias!
-j
