need some help

[neverhere]

ive fingered my girlfriend a couple times now and she has had orgasms the problem is when she gives me a handjob i get really close but dont cum
any ideas/solutions/tips?
its not like i cant i mean i have orgasms when i masturbate alone and i want to have them with her but im just not getting there
shes very supportive and understanding but is inexperienced and assure her that its my problem and not hers
i could use some help

 

[fgarvb1]

Well, you see...It's like this, You know exactly what to do and when to do it. It is very hard to communicate that to other people. She will learn to do you, although not as well as you after a few dozen times.

And to make matters worse everybody's different.

Then some people never learn to handle the "stick".

 

[neverhere]

thanks for the reply
but the thing is i have told her what i liked and she does it pretty well i think the problem might be me i mean i fell relaxed while were doing it and i get close but i still dont get there
for us comunitcating definitely isnt a problem were very open
i just need some help on what i can do

 

[EJFan]

two suggestions

glad to hear you're trying to work through this relatively minor problem TOGETHER. it seems like you have a great relationship.

two things i can think of off the top o' my head. first, is she fingering herself while she jerks you off? that would work well for me... seeing her play with herself while she's playin' with me. second, when you get close, see if she'll cut loose and really blurt out some good dirty talk. i love it when a woman gets nasty because i feel like she's REALLY looking forward to me cumming.

 

[neverhere]

thanks for the feedback
the last suggestion wont work because she doesnt masturbate on her own
im wondering if the problem of me not cumming is subconcious
anything i could do about that?

 

[Blastasbird]

try guiding her with your hand, my bloke did that with me, when I wasn't doing it how he liked even after he told me how. He put his hand ontop of mine and gave me a guided tour, now I have no problems

 

[Stiffy Says...]

could be...

I have a similar issue, and well, what helped is as follows:

1. Focus on how it feels, and maybe in your mind's eye, think of her getting off. Do the best you can to just feel and not think about anything but getting off, and whatever she does that most get syou going.

2. Take some risk, be vocal, breathe deeply. Certain patterns of deep breathing give the brain a rush of oxygen which is like a mini-high. Gets me off every time unless the girl is just plain bad.

3. Continue to communicate openly. As she is doing it, tell her what you like, guide her verbally the best you can.

4. Enjoy and be thankful you have a wonderful woman.

 

[jbab]

you could try getting her to use some oral as well

 

[Ms_Kat]

If you have no problem getting off on your own, and she is doing exactly what you enjoy, then it seems to me that she isn't the problem.

For some reason, you have a mental block on having an orgasm this way. If this is true, then focusing on trying to have an orgasm is only more frustrating for everyone involved. I'd suggest loosening up a bit and not making orgasm the focus. In other words, play around (no pun intended).

For example, you can try and find out how close she can get you and how long you can take staying there. This is an incredibly intense experience.

You can also just relax about not having an orgasm. You can find out how many days you can go without having an orgasm. I'm sure at some point, you'll explode.

If she's up for it, you can try fucking her tits until you are right at the point of exploding. Then you stop and she finishes by hand.

As far as a mental block, I can only guess. A lot of women have trouble having an orgasm unless they know that the man they're with is having one. Could be this is where you're stuck as well. Talk about it with her. Fantasize out loud with her, even to the point where she can vocalize your fantasies.

Hugs,



Kat

 

[neverhere]

thanks

thanks everybody im glad i could get some advice on this
something is bound to work